What Are You Fighting
by CityGirl13
Summary: Meidani was the last, unknown, bastard daughter of the Mad King. She was found by the Lannisters and her mother murdered. Now captive and unwilling wife of Jaime, she fights against the Kingslayer with all her might. But is she really fighting her heart?
1. Revelations

**Okay, I have another Jaime fic up calling 'Moonlight' but I just really wanted to start writing this one! Curse Game of Thrones and all its awesomeness! Only watched a couple of episodes and now have 8 fanfic ideas for it…  
>Hope that you all enjoy it, please leave a review and tell me what you think!<strong>

Chapter 1: Revelations

Meidani groaned, and flicked back an errant lock of silver-blonde hair, as she opened up yet another history book that her mother was forcing her to study. It was one of many subjects that her mother insisted she learn, but Meidani could simply not see the point of it all. They lived in seclusion, not associating with anyone else, in the middle of a forest. Why learn all of this nonsense if she would never even put it to use? If they lived in a city she might understand, but out here? Her mother could not be reasoned with though, and Meidani had to spend several hours of the day studying. Her mother would test her in the evening, once she was done with work, so Meidani could not slack off; no matter how much she wanted to.

Her mother was a Cairhien, one of the lost great Houses of Westeros, and yet she was living alone with her daughter in the middle of nowhere. It was yet another one of her many mysteries. Mysteries that she refused to tell Meidani. Whenever she complained about the bored tedium of their secluded life her mother would always tell her that it was for the best, but no amount of pestering could pull more information out of her. Meidani was never allowed to leave the property, but her mother often ventured to the nearby town for supplies. It was all so unfair.

Perhaps the most annoying secret of her mother's was the identity of Meidani's father. All that her mother would say about him, was that Meidani had inherited her silver-blonde hair and violet eyes from his side of the family; but nothing more was ever divulged. She had lived alone with her mother for her whole life, and she knew nothing about her past. All of the secrets made it hard sometimes, but she knew no other life. Oh she had heard of all the great cities of Westeros, but it all seemed to busy for her. Much as she complained about the house, she loved living out in the open country. All she wanted was to be able to go out perhaps, to possess at least a hint of freedom.

Her lip curled as she read about the Targaryen dynasty of rulers. They started out so mightily, but their end showed the truth of what they had become. The dragon's blood had run thin, and Aerys Targaryen was known as the Mad King. He had lead to the destruction of his line, and the loss of the Iron Throne to Robert Baratheon, how she hated him. The original Targaryens themselves she held no quarrels with, but over the years the noble line had dwindled into insanity.

"Meidani!" the sudden call and sound of the door bursting open made her jump.

She exited her room and peered over the stair railing. "Mother? What are you doing home so early?"

"No time to explain, you have to go," her mother insisted.

"What?" Meidani rushed down the stairs, "Why?"

"I can't say," her mother replied; hastily stuffing food into a small bag, "But you have to trust me, you must go. _Now. _I have given you perhaps a few house lead, but you must made haste."

Meidani put out a hand and grabbed her mother's wrist, "Mother, what is going on?"

"Please, just go," her mother begged.

Meidani shook her head, "Not this time mother, I've listened to you my whole life and endured your uncountable secrets, but not this time. _Tell me_."

Her mother threw up her hands," Alright! But you _must_ go, do we have an agreement?"

"Yes," Meidani agreed, "Why are you not coming?"

"Because I need to hold them off," her mother replied.

"Hold who off?" she asked.

"The Lannisters, they've found me," her mother said.

"Lannisters? Why would they be after you?" Meidani inquired.

"Because of who your father is," her mother murmured.

Meidani gasped, "My father? Who was he?"

Her mother's eyes filled with tears. "Aerys Targaryen."

Her jaw dropped open, "The Mad King? _He's_ my father? Mother! How could you?"

"I had no choice," her mother replied bitterly, "House Cairhien was closely allied with House Targaryen, that is why we were all whipped out in the rebellion. But because of those bonds we associated with the family a lot, and what the King wants, he gets."

"You were raped?" Meidani questioned.

Her mother nodded shamefully, "It was only days before his murder, and I thought that nobody knew. I fled Kings Landing, just wanting to escape him, and was counted amongst the other dead members of my family. Even I did not know that I carried his child when I ran."

"You're saying that I share blood with that monster?" Meidani was disgusted.

"You have the Targaryen blood, but yours is of far greater standing than your fathers. You are true to that line, and mine," her mother whispered.

"If you were thought dead, when why are the Lannisters after you?" Meidani asked; not wanting to go on about her parentage.

"I don't know, rumours, spies," her mother replied, "But they are coming, and they are ruthless. Jaime killed your father, and now he rides for this house and he will kill you too."

"But mother, you cannot stay!" Meidani exclaimed, "How can you expect me to run and leave you?"

"You must," her mother insisted, "I can perhaps delay them for a short time, you must go to the coast. Find a boat to take you across the Narrow Sea, your siblings should still be alive there. Find them."

"They are no kin to me," Meidani sneered, "Why should I run to them?"

"Because then you will be safe," her mother said.

Before either of them could take the matter further, Meidani heard the sound of many hooves drumming against the earth. The blood fled from her mother's face.

"Go," she insisted.

"I cannot now, they will be coming from both sides," Meidani protested, "And I would not leave you."

"Hide then," her mother hissed, "To the compartment."

Meidani winced, thinking of the enclosed room that her mother spoke of.

"Can I not stay with you?" she asked.

"I may be able to ward them off if it is just me, but with you they would never leave," her mother replied, "Now hide."

The frantic, pleading look that her mother sent her made Meidani's mind up; and she hastened for the compartment. It was just a small hole in the wall, but the door was near impossible to see if you didn't know of its existence. Even now she had trouble locating it, but once she had she squeezed herself into the cramped space. Holding her breath as the loud sounds got closer. It wasn't long before she heard the door break open, and the loud thump of heavy feet marching into her house.

"Penelope Cairhien, it has been a long time," a male voice greeted; on the surface it sounded cheerful, but Meidani shivered in spite of herself.

"Jaime Lannister, if only it could have been longer," her mother shot back.

"You have rather a lot of nerve, speaking to me in that fashion," he noted.

"It runs in my family," she replied.

"How true, too bad that that they're all dead," he said mockingly.

"That blame lies with you," she mother hissed.

"No, it lies with them," he corrected, "They refused to swear fealty to Robert and remained loyal to the Targaryens, I merely carried out my orders."

"Like a good little dog," she sneered.

"I tire of your banter," Jaime said; a more dangerous tone creeping into his voice, "I heard rumours in that little town about you. And there were other rumours as well. They spoke of a daughter of yours, a daughter with Targaryen colouring."

"The townspeople have let their imaginations run away with them, I have no children," she replied.

"Oh? So there was no child produced that night that Aerys Targaryen ravaged you for hours?" Jaime inquired.

"No," her mother's reply was short, and Meidani could hear the barely held back anger in her voice.

"Hmm, you know what? You Cairhiens may have been courageous, but I never met a single one of you who could tell a lie," Jaime said, "So tell me Penelope, where is the bastard?"

"You'll never find her, she's fled to her siblings," her mother hissed.

Jaime made a tutting sound, "What have I said about Cairhiens and lying? No matter, there are other ways. Men, search the house."

Meidani spent the next few minutes seething with rage at the treatment her mother was taking, but did not reveal herself, knowing that it would waste her mother's efforts. The soldiers scoured the house from end to end, but they never found her hiding place.

"We found nothing ser," one informed.

"That's not good now is it?" Jaime said, "Ah well, I suppose that we shall just have to resort to more extreme methods."

"What are you talking about?" her mother asked; panic seeping into her voice for the first time.

"Burn it down," Jaime commanded.

Meidani's eyes widened in horror, oh no! She had to get out! But the horror turned to puzzlement, as her mother started roaring with laughter.

"You fool! Fire cannot hurt a dragon, and my daughter carries the pure blood of the Targaryens," she said haughtily.

"You're forgetting your own house sign," Jaime informed, "That of an oak tree, and wood burns. Tie her down."

"Even if you burn me, you won't' harm her!" her mother cried.

"Well if that's the case then we'll just have to fish her out of the ashes," Jaime noted dryly, "Now will someone get a torch and some rope."

As people hurried to do his bidding, Jaime raised his voice to a shout.

"If you don't wish to see your mother burnt alive young bastard, I suggest you come out of hiding! If you do it nice and quickly, we might spare her life."

"Don't' listen to him!" her mother cried.

Meidani's thoughts raced for several seconds. If she didn't act, then she and her mother would be burnt alive. There was really no other option. She opened up the door and crawled from her hiding place. Jaime Lannister whirled around as he heard the noises from behind him, he was a tall man probably a few years younger than her mother. And he had blonde locks coupled with intense green eyes, his face was handsome she supposed, but it possessed a cruel streak that made her cringe.

"I'm here, don't hurt her," she said; meeting his green gaze with her purple one.

"You really do take after the Targaryens," he noted; taking in her hair and eyes.

"You can do what you want with me, but leave my mother alone," she said.

Jaime's brows arched and a laugh escaped him, "That was perhaps not the best phrasing, for I will be sure to take you up on the offer."

Meidani blushed as she realised what he meant, "Leave her alone."

"I'm sorry, but you just weren't' quick enough," he said; and slit her mother's throat before she could blink.

"NO!" the scream ripped itself from her throat, "You monster! How could you!"

Jaime shrugged nonchalantly, "Like I said, you should have been quicker."

Meidani didn't' even think, she launched herself at him and delivered a punch to his face. Before she could attack again, he had grabbed both of her wrist in one hand and slammed her against the wall. Pinning them above her head, he leaved in close.

"That, was a very stupid thing to do."

"You bastard," she hissed.

"On the contrary, you are the only bastard here," he said.

Her only response to this was to spit in his face. He wiped it off angrily, cleaning his hand on the front of her dress.

"Ser, shall we dispose of her?" a soldier asked.

A cruel smirk twisted Jaime's mouth, "No, I think we might take her with us actually. She did offer after all."

"No!" Meidani cried; and began struggling against his grip.

It was to no avail, he was far stronger than she. And while still keeping her wrist imprisoned, he dragged her away from the house.

"You monster! I'll never go with you! I'd rather die!" she yelled.

"Much as I do love a fiery temper, yours is starting to annoy me," he said.

Before Meidani could snap another remark at him, something hit her hard across the head. She didn't even have time to process the attack before she slumped into unconsciousness.

"Are you sure that you want to do this ser?" one of the men asked.

"I like a challenge," Jaime replied, "And besides, with the other Targaryen brats hiding in the free cities, plotting their return no doubt, we need a nice piece of leverage against them."

"Is that all you want her for?" the other man asked.

Jaime smirked, "Not by a long shot."

Meidani's hands and feet were bound, and she was unceremoniously slung across Jaime's horse.

"One more thing; burn the house down," he commanded.

He turned around to ride off as a few soldiers remained behind to do the job. Well, that had been a rather eventful day, and he must say that he had come out better for it. Killing the last Cairhien and kidnapping the last Targaryen bastard, who was rather beautiful, was quite a good achievement he thought. And he would even let the fun carry on tonight.

**Okay, what do you guys think?**

**This Jaime is going to remain fairly dark for most of my story, because he really isn't likely to just go nice in an instant.  
>Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>


	2. Worse Than Death

**Okay, here's chapter 2!  
>Thanks to reviewers: thePatient07,<br>And thanks as well to those who story alerted!  
>A.N. I changed a little thing in the first chapter, just because I realised that it wouldn't fit the timeline for the rest of my story. It was just the part about the other Targaryens, it's not necessary to re-read the chapter though. It is set before they have ridden for Winterfell and before the death of Jon Arryn. Hope that you enjoy it.<br>Also warning, this chapter is one of the reasons that I put this in M.**

Chapter 2: Worse Than Death

Jaime Lannister and his party rode for some hours, wanting to reach the main camp by nightfall. Meidani remained unconscious for about half the trip, but woke groggily as she was jostled by her uncomfortable position and the fast pace of Jaime's horse. It took her a while to process what was going on, but her memory soon came flooding back. She began writhing around, trying to get off the horse.

"And just what do you hope to achieve?" Jaime asked; placing a hand on her back to still her.

Her efforts increased to get off, and be rid of his vile touch.

"Let me go," she hissed.

"No," he replied; sounding slightly amused.

Meidani gave a great heave upwards, and the surprise of her movement was enough to throw off Jaime's hand. It also was enough to throw her from the horse, and she fell to the ground, the fall left her winded and she could not move for several moments. This was enough time for Jaime to halt his riders, jump from his horse, and stalk over to her. She tried to wriggle away, but the binding ropes on her hands and feet made this difficult, as well as the daze from landing and prior unconsciousness. Jaime grabbed her by the front of her dress and hauled her up.

"Now why did you ever think to do a thing like that?" he inquired; annoyance darkening his eyes.

"Aside from the obvious?" she retorted.

"Hmm, I think that I've seen better escape attempts," he mused, "But I doubt that I've ever seen worse."

"Shut up," she snapped.

He arched an eyebrow mockingly, "Are you giving orders now? Too bad that there isn't a hope of them being followed"

She said nothing in return, just stared at him defiantly, fire blazing in her violet eyes. He sighed and let her drop to the ground.

"I'm afraid that you may cause some disturbance while you are awake," he noted, "But it would be a shame to give you another bump on your pretty little head. Hammond, fetch the sleeping draught."

"You just carry that around with you?" she inquired.

"For occasions such as these," Jaime replied; taking the leather bottle handed to him.

He walked over to her, and Meidani knew that she didn't want to be forced into sleep again and slung over Jaime's horse like some sack of potatoes. She moved back from his, well, as well as she could, and firmly pressed her lips together.

"I do hope that you're not going to make this difficult."

In the end, Jaime had a soldier grab her cruelly by the hair and tip her head back. He then forced open her mouth and poured a bitter tasting liquid into it. Meidani tried to choke it back up, but he put a hand over her mouth to stop her. She fought the fog she felt coming over her mind, but it was to no avail, and soon she was once more asleep.

"There, she's much more manageable that way," Jaime said; some of the draught had gotten on his hand, and he once more used the front of her dress to wipe it off.

"Ser, it seems as if it would be less easier for us if we just killed her," Hammond said, "And what will King Robert think of having a Targaryen bastard alive?"

"Robert will think whatever the fat oaf wants to, but he'll also listen if we say we'll use her against her siblings," Jaime replied.

"But ser-"

"Are you questioning me?" Jaime asked; tone shifting to dangerous.

The soldier felt a flicker of fear, this _was_ Jaime Lannister, one of the best swordsmen in Westeros.

"No ser, my apologies."

"Good, now we ride on. I want to get back by sundown; there are some things that I would like to get up to."

He once more slung the girl over his horse, she was so much easier to handle like this. But he had to admit that he liked her fire, it certainly made for great sporting. He urged his horse to a canter, and the rest of the men followed him. It wasn't long before they had rejoined the main camp.

"Good to have you back Ser Jaime," the soldier greeted, "How did the mission go?"

"Turns out it was not a horde of Cairhiens and their loyalists, just one," he replied as he dismounted.

"And who have you got there?" one of them asked.

He grinned, but it never reached his eyes, "Spoils of the mission."

The men laughed and he hoisted the girl over his shoulder, striding off for his tent. His servants had already seen that a fire was lit and he had his own portion of the dinner already heating over it. He dumped the girl onto the bed, and untied her feet; then he used the extra rope to secure the fastenings on her hands to the one of the bars that made up the bed's headboard. She would probably be unconscious for some time yet, and while Jaime was not averse to taking his pleasure from her in this state, he wanted to make sure that she was awake when he took her.

As he waited for her to wake up, he took the time to relax; taking off his armour and pulling on a lose shirt. Then he busied himself with his dinner, scowling at the flavourless stew that was the standard camp fare. Oh well, they would be back in King's Landing tomorrow, if they rode hard enough, and he would have the standards he deserved there. About an hour after he had arrived, the girl started to stir.

"Rise and shine," he said.

She tested the bonds holding her down, "Where am I?"

"In my tent, in the middle of a company of soldiers, tied to my bed; you haven't got a hope of escaping, do I would dismiss any notion of such an act right not if I were you."

"Too bad that you're not," she sneered.

"Ah you're just full of fire aren't you."

"What do you want with me Lannister?" she questioned; glaring at him.

"Hmm, that would be a rather long list," he mused, "But the first thing on it would probably be _you_, little Targaryen."

"Don't call me that," she snapped.

"What's your name then? I could call you bastard if you don't like your father's name," Jaime offered.

"You are a repugnant creature Lannister, you murdered my family in cold blood, you have no right to know who I am," she seethed.

"Really, can no one let the whole Kingslayer thing go?"

"I was refereeing to the Cairhiens, the Targaryens are no family to me," she retorted.

"Hmm, don't dismiss your heritage so quickly girl. You may have the courage of a Cairhien, but your fire is pure Targaryen, I would know. And your fine features come from your father's line." He ran a hand through her hair and stared into her eyes, "That silver-blonde hair, the striking violet eyes. Even your lithe figure." He ran his hands down her body, none too quickly and none too gently.

She shivered in disgust.

"Was that a reaction to my touch?" he inquired; proud smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

"You wish Lannister," she hissed.

"I am a Lannister, and what I wish, I get."

Without giving Meidani a chance to reply to that, he jumped on top of her and crushed his lips to hers. The kiss was forceful and rough, it destroyed every romantic thought that she had ever had about one's first kiss. It was supposed to be romantic, it was supposed to be sweet, it was supposed to have been with the man she loved. But this was none of those things. This was Jaime Lannister, who had taken away everything from her, taking even more for his own selfish desires. She tried to pull back from him, but there was nowhere to go. Her hands writhed within the ropes that trapped her, but this only gave her raw red marks around her wrists. One of Jaime's hands fisted itself within her hair, while the other one roamed her body. Violating her as he groaned in pleasure.

"They say that Targaryens are passionate in the sexual arena," he whispered in her ear; making her skin crawl, "It seems from his escapades that your father was, I was guarding the door when he fucked your mother. And he fucked her all night, making her scream like a bitch. Are you a screamer girl?"

Those words made her blood boil with the fire of her ancestors, while she would never admit it to herself; Meidani had the blood of dragons running through her veins. And this blood now leant its strength to her fury, giving her an idea that had previously not entered her head. Seeing as her legs were unrestrained by ropes, she could use them as she wished. At first Jaime had had them pinned beneath his body, but he had moved during his plunder of her mouth, and now she had the leverage to do what she wanted.

Quick as lightning she jerked her knee up so that it made contact with a very tender place on any man, even the great Jaime Lannister. It had the desired effect, and he rolled partly off her with a groan of pain. She kicked at him again, forcing him fully off the bed. Unfortunately this act had been one fuelled by her anger at what he had said to her, but she hadn't thought beyond hurting him. If she had, then she would have remembered the ropes that still bound her hands to the bed, ensuring that she would not be able to free herself and run.

"You little bitch," Jaime swore; getting up from the ground and removing his shirt, now he was fully naked, "You are going to regret doing that. You are going to regret it very much."

"Like you could make me Lannister," she shot back; refusing to give in.

He found some more ropes and used them to tie her feet to each end of the bed, resulting in her legs being forced to remain spread open.

"My name is Jaime, I suggest you remember that as I make you scream it out loud."

"Never, I will _never_ submit to you!" she cried.

"We shall see."

Then Jaime Lannister was back on top of her, and tearing open her dress. Meidani looked away from him, and kept her face a stony mask. Her only show of emotion was a flicker of pain when he cruelly thrust into her. She fought hard within herself not to let the tears seep out of her eyes, there was no way in all the seven hells that she would ever let that man see her cry. He finished himself with a loud groan and final thrust deep within her, then looked down at the woman he had just forced himself on.

"What? Nothing at all?" he remarked.

She turned her head to glare up at him, hoping that there was no sheen of tears in her eyes.

"You have taken my family from me, you have taken away my home, you have taken away my virtue. You just take Lannister, but I assure you this, you will never receive anything from me that is not hatred or vengeance. You violated my body and killed my mother right in front of my eyes, I will see you dead one day Jaime Lannister. I swear it by the sacred Oak and seal it with the mighty dragon's Fire," she said; using the ancient signs of both her Houses.

"I would like to see you try," he replied; freeing her legs temporarily, but then tying them together again.

"You will not see me fail," she swore.

He did not reply, merely freed her from the bed and tied her to one of the tent poles. It was firmly stuck within the ground, and she could not shift it no matter how hard she tried.

"I suggest you get some sleep little bastard Targaryen, there is a long ride to King's Landing, and for you it won't be comfortable," he said; then climbed back into the bed that he had just raped her on.

Meidani controlled herself until she heard the sound of his snoring and guessed that that meant he was asleep. Then she let the tears that she had held in flow. The tears for her mother, the tears for herself; they ran in rivers down her face as she stifled the sobs that accompanied them. How had all this happened? Why couldn't life have just stayed normal? Why could she not have been killed along with her mother, it would have been better than the life she now had to live in.

Eventually sleep managed to claim her, in spite of the vast amount of time she had spent unconscious, and she curled up and closed her eyes. But even in her dreams she was not free from the nightmares that had become her waking life. She feared that she would never be rid of the scars that Jaime Lannister had carved into her soul that night. All she wanted now, was to free herself from him. Hopefully with his death at her hands.

**Right, very dark chapter there… I have never written anything like that before. Strange.  
>Hope that you guys thought it was a good chapter, I'll try to update again soon!<br>Thanks for reading :D**


	3. Unexpected

**Thanks to reviewer: Dark Alana,  
>And thanks to those who story alerted!<br>And thanks Dark Alana for the idea about mentioning her father =)  
>Here's the third chapter for you :D<strong>

Chapter 3: Unexpected

Meidani was woken up by a cruel kick to her side. She winced, but not simply from that, last night had left her in pain from the brutality of Jaime's act. When she opened her eyes, it was of course the man himself who loomed over her.

"Get up," he commanded, "We leave within the hour."

"And how do you except me to do that? I am tied to a post in case you hadn't noticed," she retorted.

He unsheathed his knife and cut through the ropes holding her to the pole in once swift movement, but somehow managed to leave the ones binding her hands alone. Her gingerly shifted her wrists around, they were raw from her attempts to loosen the ropes during his violation of her last night.

"And now you're not. Get up," he repeated.

"Yes, I'll just do what with my feet tied together shall I?" she snapped; angry at him for all that he'd done, and refusing to be cowed.

He gave a growl from the back of his throat and forcefully pulled her up by the front of her dress, she hung limply in his grasp.

"You will address me with respect," he commanded.

"Respect must be earned, you cannot simply demand it. And what can you threaten me with? Death would be welcome, so tell me Lannister, what power do you hold over me?"

He smirked, "I would have thought that the events of last night should be enough to answer your question."

Meidani felt her face blanch, but kept her gaze on his and did her best to keep it free of fear.

"You are no better than my father," she spat, "Forcing yourself on women just to satisfy your lusts, not caring for the person who you have just left with scars that will never fade."

A dark cloud crossed Jaime's face and he pulled her closer; anger stormed within his green eyes, and Meidani knew that she had struck a sensitive nerve in the man.

"You did not even know your father girl so let me tell you this, if you _ever_ compare me to the Mad King again; you will be very sorry for it"

"Well then pray tell me how you are different," she shot back.

"Perhaps in time you shall see, but in the mean time, you have just given me an idea little Targaryen."

Meidani did not like the predatory cast that had entered his eyes, she did not like it one bit.

"Don't call me that, I am no Targaryen."

"How strange you are young bastard, in one breath you name Aerys as your father, and in the next you deny his blood in your veins. You had better get to know who you really are before you place judgement on others."

He didn't give Meidani the chance to respond to that, but threw her over his shoulder and strode out from the tent. She wriggled and bucked, but nothing she did could loosen his grip. And the dark chuckle that he gave out made Meidani stop struggling, and just go limp.

"I think we'll make better time to King's Landing if we don't have to stop every few hours to knock you out again," he said, "So today you can ride in one of the supply wagons. No guarantees for comfort though."

"I'd rather ride to King's Landing on a bed of nails than on your horse again," she hissed.

"We can arrange that if you like, but I don't think that the screams would be nice background noise for my men."

"Go to the seven hells where you belong Lannister."

"Do you ever stop fighting back? I can arrange a gag for you if I have to."

"Never, are you forgetting my family motto? 'Don't Back Down'."

"Ahh, you refer to House Cairhien as your family. It could have been 'Fire and Blood' if you had wanted it to be."

"Like I keep saying, I do not wish to be associated with that line."

"Suit yourself, but you can't deny the Targaryen fire that runs through you."  
>"I can deny it all I wish."<p>

"Stubborn fool," he muttered; the hoisted her from his back and into one of the wagons.

She landed none too gently on top of a pipe of cooking equipment. She didn't want to made a sound when she landed, but the small groan of pain escaped against her will.

"Feeling a little sore are we?" Jaime inquired mockingly.

"None of your business Lannister," she retorted.

"Suit yourself," he replied with a shrug, "Have a pleasant ride, or don't."

Meidani was left alone for another hour or so. People would walk past her cart and look in, some smirked, some laughed, and a few looked at his with pity in their eyes. She refused to pay them any heed though, not wanted to give any of them the satisfaction of a reaction in her humiliating state. Just before the group left for King's Landing, a young boy jumped into the cart with her. He was a few years younger than her, with unruly brown hair. His brown eyes were filled with curiosity as they stared out at her from his freckled face. After they had been travelling for a few minutes, she eventually got sick of his staring.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped.

"I'm sorry, it's just that we don't normally have a girl in the camp," he stammered out.

She sighed, she was probably wrong to have snapped at the boy. He couldn't be over eleven years old.

"Sorry, I'm not exactly in the best of moods," he said, "What's your name?"

He grinned a gap toothed smile, "I'm Jonah, the kitchen hand. That's why I have to ride in the cart and don't get a horse."

She laughed in spite of her situation at the pout on the boy's face.

"I'm sure you'll get a horse one day," she assured, "What is a boy like you doing working in an army camp?"

"I'm not a boy!" he exclaimed indignantly, "I'm thirteen in two months."

Meidani had severely under guessed the boy's age, she couldn't help it, she hadn't exactly been out much and he _did_ look young.

"Sorry," she apologised, "I didn't mean to offend you."

"How old are you?" he asked.

"I'm seventeen," she replied.

"And what's your name?"

She thought for a moment, keeping her name away from these people was one of her shields. But she decided to trust the boy, he was kind.

"You promise to keep it a secret? Swear it on something that matters?"

He nodded vigorously, "I swear on my Slayer."

"Who or what is slayer?" she asked.

"My dog," the boy admitted.

"Great name," she praised, "My name is Meidani Cairhien."

"Meidani? That's a nice name," Jonah said, "What are you doing in the camp Meidani?"

She held up her bound hands and gestured to her feet, "I'm a prisoner."

He bit his lip, "Should I be talking to you then?"

"I don't see why not, has anyone said otherwise?"

He shook his head.

"Then it should be alright," she assured, "And anyway, I like having the company."

"Me too, no one else will talk to me."

"Don't worry, for the next few hours you'll have me," she gave a wry grin.

"What will happen to you after that?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Why are you a prisoner?" he asked.

"You like your questions don't you?"

He nodded, "Especially when they are answered."

She sighed, and decided to tell him. Skipping out the details and some events of course, he shouldn't have to hear of such things.

"My mother was a member of House Cairhien," she began.

"Aren't they all gone?" he inquired.

"I'm the last one. My father was the Mad King," her face twisted as she said that, "it is not a lineage that I am proud of. My mother kept me hidden from the world, but we were found. She was killed, and I was taken."

He didn't seem to notice the holes in her story, "I'm sorry about your mother."

A tear slipped out of her eye, it was the only one that she allowed.

"Thank you Jonah."

His eyes widened suddenly, "But if they take you to King's Landing, the King will kill you. He hates all Targaryens."

Meidani's head jerked up at this, "He what now?"

"The King hates the Targaryens, he had all of them exterminated, even the bastards. Sorry."

Manic laugher bubbled out of Meidani's throat, this was it, this could be her saving grace. So long as King Robert found out who she was, then he would see to her death. She could be free of Jaime Lannister. That thought was what kept her going for the rest of the trip to the capitol.

**/*0*/**

When they arrived at the capitol Jaime appeared again.

"Have a nice journey?" he asked.

"Until you got here," she replied.

"I bet you missed me really," he said; winking at her.

She shuddered, "In your dreams."

"You were actually; want to know what we did?"

"No thank you, it was probably the same as what happened in my nightmares."

"Boy, did you get the information I wanted?" he asked; addressing Jonah.

"Yes Ser Jaime, her name is Meidani," the boy replied.

"Good lad." Jaime tossed the boy a gold coin; which he took and then promptly ran off.

Meidani stared after him, shock written all over her face. She had trusted that boy, and he had really just been working for Jaime. She felt betrayed somehow, and glared at Jaime with increased hatred.

"Oh don't look so put out, did you really think that he was a little friend of yours?" Jaime inquired.

"Shut up Lannister."

"Do be quiet, we have a meeting with the King. Up you get."

He grabbed her by the ropes holding her hands, and jerked her forwards.

"How do you expect me to walk?" she questioned.

He leant down and cut the bonds holding her feet, and set her down on the ground.

"There you go."

He hadn't let go of her wrists, and that was all that kept her from collapsing to the ground. Her legs wouldn't support her weight after hours of doing nothing. Jaime was not going to let this stop him though, and simply tugged her along in his wake; making her slip and stumble after him. She received strange looks as they made their way through the palace, courtiers pointing and commenting. She ignored them all, her sole focus was not ending up losing her footing and being dragged down the corridors by Jaime. He stopped briefly at a pair of great doors and was announced into the room. It was the throne room, and at the far end stood the Iron Throne itself. Seated within it, was King Robert Baratheon; a rather fat man. His queen sat to his left, and another man on his right. Meidani scrutinised the queen as she got closer, and deduced that she and Jaime must be siblings due to similarity in some of their features. The man on the King's left must be his Hand.

"What news Jaime? And who is this girl?" the King questioned.

"It was not as the reports told. There was no secret mass of Cairhiens and their loyalists plotting against you. It was only one," Jaime reported.

"Who?" the King demanded.

"Penelope Cairhien, this is her daughter Meidani."

The King frowned, "She was unmarried was she not?"

"Yes sire," Jaime replied.

The King looked at Meidani again, taking in everything. And when his eyes widened, she knew that he had recognised her colouring as being Targaryen. The anger in his eyes confirmed her hopes that he would sentence her to death.

"A Targaryen bastard," he seethed, "Why did you not kill her at once?"

"Because I had a better use for her," Jaime replied.

"And what might that be? All the Targaryens are good for is adorning pikes," the King roared.

"Please my love, be calm," the queen said.

"Shut up woman," he retorted," what is this plan Lannister?"

"If you were to release me from my services in the Kingsguard, then I would wish to marry the girl. She does not even want to be a Targaryen, and has no connection to that House at all. But because of her blood, she may be a good pawn to use against the exiled ones. And the Targaryen bloodline was also known for greatness beside its insanity."

"Jaime! Why would you want to leave the Kingsguard?" his sister asked.

"To marry? And then I would actually get to become lord of Casterly Rock one day," he replied.

"It is a good plan my lord, if the Lannister boy marries this girl then it could be a powerful alliance," the Hand put it.

"You think so Jon? But she's just a bastard girl, not anywhere near your standing Jaime," the King argued.

"Her bloodline is good, and no one would dare question me," Jaime said; Meidani noted that his sister didn't exactly look too pleased with the proceedings.

"I don't know, she's a Targaryen, and I want them all dead and gone. She poses as a threat to this throne," Robert said.

"As you said sire, she is a bastard girl. While I may be able to get away with marriage to her, there is no way that she could ever take the throne," Jaime reasoned.

"Your grace, it might work to your advantage one day," Jon persuaded.

Meidani had remained in a sort of shell-shocked silence ever since Jaime had mentioned his intention of marrying her. But once it passed, horror took its place.

"Please!" she cried, "Kill me your grace, I'd rather die than marry _him_."

Robert arched his eyebrows, "Well Jaime, it doesn't' seem as if you have a very willing bride."

"I can control her sire," Jaime said.

"Please your majesty," Meidani begged, "Kill me."

Robert thought for a moment, "You'd rather be dead that marry Jaime Lannister, is that correct girl?"

Meidani nodded vigorously.

"Well then, it seems like killing you would be no punishment. I can cause you more suffering by agreeing to this union. Jaime Lannister; I officially release you from services to the Kingsguard, you are a free man now," Robert pronounced.

Jaime smirked, his sister looked angry, and Meidani was a whole mix of dread and fury.

"No!" she cried, "No, please, no! You cannot do this, think of what my father and brother did? Do you really want me to live?"

Robert looked at Jaime, "I thought you said she didn't ally with the Targaryen line."

Jaime shrugged, "She's strange like that."

"This can't be happening," she whispered.

But it was, and there was nothing that Meidani could do to stop it. As of this moment she was not only a captive in King's Landing, but the future wife of Jaime Lannister.

**What do we think? Reviews? Please?  
>I'll try to update again soon!<strong>


	4. Caged Dragon

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**Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, Garota Anonima  
>Here's the forth chapter, hope that you enjoy it :D<strong>

Chapter 4: Caged Dragon

The rooms that Meidani had been given were extraordinary. The whole suite would have been around the same size as her old house in the forest, and the balcony looked out over the harbour in King's Landing. She had rich and comfortable furnishings, more than she could ever use in a lifetime, and all done in warm colour like bronze or gold. Her bed was big enough to fit a family of five and she had a bath which was almost a warm paddling pool. But there were guards stationed outside her door, and there was not a single object in the room that she could use to end her life. She had thought of jumping from the balcony, but they had thought of that as well, and a net had been put in place beneath it to catch her should she think to leap.

It was a gilded prison. It would have been foolish to hold any illusions to the contrary, she was trapped here as surely as if she was in a dungeon cell. She would almost have preferred the cell, then at least she would not be surrounded by all this lying grandeur. She did not even dare cry for fear that the guards posted outside might hear her. She did not want their scorn, or their pity.

Meidani was just contemplating the likelihood of being able to smother herself, when the doors were opened, and a guard poked his head in.

"It's the Queen to see you miss," he said.

"They say that when a Targaryen is born, the people would toss a coin to see if that child would be great or if it would be mad," the Queen said; sweeping into the room with a rustle of silken skirts, "I wonder what side it landed on for you."

"Your majesty," Meidani curtsied, "To what do I owe the honour of your visit?"

The Queen frowned, and Meidani thought that she might have picked up on the slightly mocking tinge to her words.

"I just wanted to meet the woman who my brother wishes to marry, considering that he never takes interest beyond simply having casual sex. And also considering your… interesting heritage."

"Has your curiosity been satisfied then?"

"You have an awful lot of nerve addressing your Queen like that, I suppose that it comes from both sides of your family, I hope that you know I could have you killed if I so wished it. Do you even know my name?"

"Well do you think you could get around to it before I'm forced into marriage with your repugnant brother? And I suppose that you are going to tell me anyway, whether I am interested or not."

The Queen gave a thin lipped smile, "I'm Cersei, you'd do well to remember that considering we will soon be sisters. And I cannot have you killed, much as I wish circumstances were otherwise. It seems that my dear brother has taken a genuine interest in you, though I truly can't imagine why, and I fear that he may be put out if you were to die."

"I get the feeling that you and I are not going to get on very well," Meidani noted.

"I feel the same, but we shall simply just have to put on a good face for the crowds. Your upbringing won't have included social behaviour, but a part of it is keeping your dislike to yourself, in public at least. Don't worry, it becomes almost a second nature after a while."

"What is the point of it all? All of you highborn lords and ladies, you walk around wearing smiles as you secretly dream of stabbing one another in the back. How do you live with yourselves? It is not just I who is caught in a gilded prison, it is all of you. But yours is of your own making, and I fear that it shall be your own undoing."

"You should watch what you say," Cersei warned, "I may not be able to kill you, but make an enemy out of me and I can destroy you in many other ways."

"Do me a favour then," Meidani shot back.

Cersei glared at her, "My brother commanded that you be given some servants. They are loyal only to House Lannister, so I wouldn't go about trusting them with your secrets. I hear that that is quite a habit of yours."

The Queen then flounced off from the room without giving Meidani the time to answer. Just as well, as Meidani wouldn't have been able to had she been given a whole day. She had been a fool to trust that boy, of course he would have been a spy, he was working in Jaime Lannister's camp after all. Cersei's comment had struck a nerve within her, and she herself had warned Meidani that people could not be trusted. She would take the Queen up on her advice, this world was harsh and cruel, there was nowhere and no one who was safe anymore. The small life that she had lead had been a peaceful bubble, secluded from the rest of the world. But now she walked in the turbulent truth that was life, and she had to walk alone.

Her heart ached for her mother. She would never forget the sight of the bloody smile drawn across her neck by Jaime Lannister. And she would never forgive the man for his actions. It was then that Meidani came to a realisation. Jaime often commented on her having 'Targaryen fire', so she would do her best to hide it. If her reactions were a source of interest for him, then she would stop reacting. Perhaps then he would get bored with her, and she could finally be set free from this life. It was decided, she would cage her inner dragon.

"Miss, would you like us to prepare a bath for you?"

Meidani jumped, she hadn't realised that two maids had entered the room. And after taking in the request inquired by one of them, Meidani realised what a state she must be in. Her gown was dirty, ripped and crumpled from her travels and abuse at Jaime's hands. She had not bathed for a couple of days, and after the things she had been through it showed more than it would have normally.

"Yes please," she replied.

"I'll have the water boiled. I assume you want it soon, yes?"

Meidani nodded.

"I'll have it done in large lots and carried in by some of the other staff, it won't take long," the maid assured.

Meidani did not trust them, but neither did she just want to refer to them as Maid 1 and Maid 2.

"What are you names?" she inquired.

The one with long brown hair and bright blue eyes curtsied, "My name is Reana miss."

The other one; who possessed unruly red hair and green eyes curtsied in turn, "And I'm Penelope."

Meidani nearly blurted out that the girl possessed the same name as her mother. But she stopped herself. It was not exactly a big secret, but she did not want to start forming a connection to these girls. Not when she knew that they would be secretly keeping an eye on her for Jaime.

"I'll see to the bath now miss, you can rest if you like. It shouldn't be too long though," Reana said.

"Thank you, will one of you come and inform me when it is finished?"

"Yes miss." They both curtsied and then went off.

When more people entered the room with large basins of freshly boiled water, Meidani drifted over to the bed and stared at it for a moment. It was so big, where on earth was she meant to sleep? She was tempted to just sprawl out over as much of it as she could reach, but considering that she was not exactly tall anyway, that would not really make much of an impression. Instead, she opted to simply crawl into the middle of it and curl into a defensive ball. She wished that she could shut out the world as easily as she could shut herself away. But things were never easy when one wanted them to be. She would have to face whatever came, and she would have to live up to the honour of her House. Not giving in to her Targaryen blood, how she hated acknowledging that connection, was not the same as giving in. It was simply a different way of fighting. She hoped that it would achieve the results she desired, if not, then she would have to think up something else.

After a while she became aware of the absence of noise, people had stopped filling up her bath. She uncurled herself and went to look in her bathroom, sure enough, there was no one there. The bath was ready though, and the steaming water looked invitingly relaxing. She wondered why her maids hadn't come to get her, but then dismissed the thoughts. She was there now, and that was what mattered. She carefully took off her stained and torn gown, casting it to the floor with the knowledge that she would probably never see it again once it had been removed. She looked around, but could find no cotton shift for modesty within the bath. She would just have to hope that nobody walked in on her. She stepped up the tiled ledge of the bath, and walked into the warm waters. The size of the bath gave her plenty of room to move around in, and it also had depth beyond her height. She had to swim or use the seated ledge under the water if she wanted to keep her head above the water level.  
>"Miss! It's not ready yet, the water is far too hot!" Reana protested; shocked to see Meidani in the water.<p>

"It feels fine to me," Meidani said, "If you please, I would like to be left in privacy now."

Her maids were clearly not happy about leaving her alone, but did as she asked. She could hear faint sounds of whispering coming from the next room, and suspected that they were talking about her. She didn't know what Reana meant about the water being too hot, it felt just as normal as any bathwater she would use at home. Home… it was gone now. Meidani ducked her head under the water, as if to wash away the thoughts from her mind. She lay back in the warms waters and tried to take the rare moment to relax. Such moments as this would probably not be too frequent in her future life, so she should make them count while she can. She floated out into the middle of the bath and just lay there, looking up at the high domed ceiling.

She felt calmer than she had for days at that moment. Just lying in the water, letting her silver hair float out around her, and letting her thoughts float out with it. Her let the breath out of her lungs, and felt herself slowly begin to sink beneath the surface. She lay suspended about halfway down in the bath, and closed her eyes. Her lungs were not troubling her; she had learnt to hold her breath for long periods of time as a girl. She wasn't aware of how long she stayed like that, it couldn't have been more than a minute, but a shadow blocked the faint light seeping through her closed lids. She opened up her violet eyes, and saw the dreaded face of Jaime staring in a distorted manner through the water. He reached an arm in, and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her sharply to the surface.

"Shit!" he swore; yanking his arm from the water and drying it off with a towel, "The temperature of that bath is far too hot, how can you stand lying in it?"

Meidani pulled her hair forwards to cover herself, she shrugged, "How can you not? It feels simply warm to me."

"Is the hair really necessary? Do you truly feel the need for modesty between us?" he inquired; taking in her form.

"Considering I was not a willing participant in the act, then yes I do," she shot back, "And seeing as I know you are no gentleman, I assume that you will not turn around as you address me. Therefore I must use my own methods of concealment."

"You could come out and get a towel," he offered.

"Ha," she barked a sarcastic laugh, "You'd like that."

"Yes actually, I rather would," he replied.

"Too bad for you that it won't happen then," she retorted; this was not her plan, she was verbally fighting him back again.

"Maybe not today, but we have a nice long married life ahead of us now. One that I hope you were not planning on cutting short by drowning yourself."

"Thank you for the idea, but I was merely relaxing in the water. Did you never go under and see how long you could hold your breath?"

"I used to dive in the sea at Casterly Rock, I'm quite the swimmer. But I was never one whom people knew had a death wish. Since you cannot be trusted, I had to assign a watch on you at all times. I would hate to lose my lovely wife before our marriage."

"You have someone spying on me? Just who do you think you are?" she was furious.

"I am Jaime Lannister, a man of more power and influence than most people could ever dream of. I am also your fiancée, and therefore entitled to see to you in whatever manner I deem appropriate."

"You don't own me," she snarled.

"And yet you are mine, I could drag you from that bath and take you right here on the floor if I so desired," he snapped back, "In fact, that's not actually a bad idea."

Meidani retreated to the far end of the bath when he stalked towards her.

"Go ahead, reinforce your image as an honourless monster who cares for nothing but his pleasure," she taunted.

He stopped, and Meidani foolishly thought that she had one.

"Just for you my dear, I will wait until our wedding night before I take you again. But I assure you, the time spent waiting will make me all the more… eager."

He turned on his heel and strode from the room, leaving Meidani fearing what she had just set herself up for.

**For the chapter when it occurs, who knows how a wedding would be done in Game Of Thrones? PM me please, I want to get it right. Thanks!**

**Right, I may not be able to update regularly from now on. As I am going on an overnight trip tomorrow, and then I commence exams. I shall do my best though!**

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	5. The Long Road

**Chapter five is here!  
>Hope that you all enjoy it :D<br>Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, thePatient07, alternativecouture,  
><strong>

Chapter 5: The Long Road

Meidani slept fitfully during that night in King's Landing. Despite having the ridiculously large bed all to herself, she managed to twist into every inch and rid the whole thing of every blanket. Her dreams had once more been plagued with nightmares. Flashes from her past, such incidents as her mother's death, and then other images; Jaime plunging his sword into the back of the Mad King, laughing as he did so. Jaime grabbing two young children, whom she somehow knew to be her half brother and sister on her father's side, and slaying them without once changing his expression. Things that she knew she hadn't seen, and things that she knew hadn't happened; but they left her cold and shaking nevertheless.

Then she had even worse nightmares. They were not of events of the past, but rather the events yet to come. She had been dressed in an extravagant white wedding gown, but it had bright red bloodstains all over it. She did not know who's blood the stains carried, but she had the sense that it belonged to someone she cared for. She was being married to Jaime Lannister, and no matter how she tried to hold the words back, her assent to the union was given. Jaime did not give the polite kiss that was normally exchanged at weddings, he was as forceful and rough as the night he had raped her. And instead of a wedding ring, she had manacles placed upon her wrists. As he had locked them into place, Jaime had leant forward and whispered in her ear.

"You are mine now."

"NO!"

Meidani jerked upright as the cry was worn from her lips. Her still raw wrists were throbbing slightly, and she sat in the middle of a swirl of tangled bed sheets. She looked down and gave a sigh of relief upon seeing that she worn a plain white nightgown, and not the bloodstained wedding dress. There was not much light in the room, and she realised that she had woken before dawn. There was no way that she was going to go back to sleep now though, and she eyed the bed with suspicion. She made her way over to the door, bumping into several things and cursing on her way, but she eventually located it.

"Can I please have a candle?" she asked the guards posted outside.

"We're not really supposed to give you anything miss," one of them replied.

"Please? It's still dark and I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep."

"We could send for some sleeping draught," the other one offered.

"No," she protested quickly; not wanted to be locked into nightmares and unable to escape, "Look, it's just a candle."

"I'm sorry miss, but we have our orders."

"But why?"

"In case you might harm yourself."

Meidani gave a frustrated sigh, "Alright, I swear on the Standing Oak of House Cairhien that I shall do myself no harm with the candle, nor shall I perform any acts of vandalism with it. I just want some light."

They looked at each other, "Can we trust her on her oath?"

"Fine then, it can just be a little stub of a candle. Won't even last far beyond the dawn, just for the next hour or so," she pleaded.

One of the guards sighed, "Alright then."

"Where are we going to get it from? We can't just ask for a candle, Ser Jaime would have our heads on pikes," the other guard hissed.

The first guard looked around, and then picked up his own little candle left from his watch.

"Here miss, now run along back inside, we weren't even supposed to talk to you."

"Thank you," she whispered, "I won't tell anyone about this, you have my oath on that as well."

"Off with you," he waved her inside good naturedly.

If Meidani hadn't already been set against trusting anyone in this godforsaken place, she might have liked the guard. As it was, she felt nothing but mild thanks and annoyance about the length it took to bargain her request. She was glad that the candle was already lit, for she had forgotten to ask for some kind of striker or flint. Like a ghost, with her white gown and silver hair, she drifted about from room to room. But eventually she settled on sitting in one of the large chairs, it was a round one so she curled up in her normal position; leaving the candle on the ground. No matter how she tried she could not stop the torrent of images in her mind, as awake as she was the nightmares still followed her. She wished that she could shake them off, but feared that if she lost these ones she would be given even worse ghouls for her mind. It was a strange thing, did one prefer the demons that they had simply because they feared that if they chased them away, ones of more evil would step up to take their place? Was it better the evil that you knew, than the one that you didn't? Meidani had never understood mad people before, what could drive someone to be like that?

The whole concept had never made sense to her in the past, but now she was beginning to understand the temptation. To just let your mind go, it seemed now like it would be such a freedom. But then she remembered the man whom she would never call father, but who's blood ran in her veins. And she shuddered for having even thought of madness as something to be desired. The Queen's comment yesterday about people flipping a coin over the Targaryen children had set something off inside her brain. Who had been the one to flip for her? And on what side had her coin landed on? Was she mad? Or was she great? Perhaps it had landed tipped up on its side, and Meidani was really neither thing.

In the position she was lying in, she long hair was falling down over the chair, and she hadn't realised until now that the lit from the candle was rather dimmed. She quickly sat up, and looked over the edge. Shock was not an apt description of the emotion that widened her eyes to the size of dinner plates. Her hair was trailing right through the candle flame, and it wasn't being burned. Meidani quickly snatched it away, inspecting the long silver strands, but there was not a mark on them; and no pungent smell of burnt hair drifting around the room. Curiosity overcame anything else in her, and she picked up the candle to bring in close. The flame was definitely burning, and it definitely looked hot. Cautiously, she extended a finger, and held it near the flame. She felt not much heat from it, so she took this as encouragement and put it closer; until it was right in the heart of the small candle's fire. At this place when it should have had the most heat, she barely even felt a tingling sensation.

Meidani looked back through her childhood memories, trying to find any instances that were similar to this one. But she found nothing. She did not remember once being able to withstand heat that would normally have made people cry and burn. But then she did remember something, she had never even touched not things before. Her mother was always the one who heated the bathwater, and Meidani had been forbidden from a young age to go near the fire or things that had been near it. And she also remembered what her mother had said on that tragic day.

'_Fire cannot hurt a dragon.'_

At the time Meidani had thought her mother's words to be pure nonsense, how could fire not hurt her? Fire could hurt anyone, it could hurt anything. With the single exception of dragons. At last, things were starting to click in Meidani's head. This sign of House Targaryen was the dragon, they had long been able to control the beasts, and some even said that they carried dragon's blood within their veins. She would never consider that House family, but now there was no denying that she carried its blood. The incident yesterday made sense now as well. Her maid's insistence that the water would still be too hot for her, Jaime's pain at putting his arm into the water; but how was it that she had these gifts? Did all of the Targaryens? And was it just fire in small amounts? Or would the dragon's protection still hold if she stepped into a roaring blaze. So many questions she had now, but who was there to answer them? And she would never ask though, for it would give Jaime too much satisfaction if she started inquiring about the Targaryens.

Meidani continued to play with the fire, enjoying the small tingle she got when she held her hand at the centre. But eventually the dawn came, and with it the end of the fire's light and life. She wondered over to the balcony, and watched as the sun rose over King's Landing. If she had nightmares and woke up early, her mother would always stay up with her. And they would watch the sun rise on a new day together.

"_See Meidani? The sun will always rise, and time will always turn. Nothing in forever in this world, certainly not bad dreams, and we must remember to take hold of the good and let go of the bad."_

"_But mother, if nothing lasts, does that mean that the good will fade away too?"_

"_Yes child, but if you must hold onto something in this life, the good is better than the bad. Everyone has demons from their past, mine see me every night, but we must remember that the past cannot hurt us."_

"_Okay mother."_

That had been the first conversation that they had had while watching the sun. Meidani had never asked about her mother's demons, but she remembered the tears in her eyes, and how Meidani would sometimes see her mother crying as she whispered 'sorry' over and over again. Meidani had always disliked her mother keeping her secrets, but now she saw that it was worth it just to have her by her side. It was all very easy to preach about letting go of the bad, but it was so much harder in practice. Even her mother had never done it, not really anyway. Meidani knew that she had still wept and cursed over things from her life before escaping, and now she would never know why.

"You know, when you're standing there haloed by the sunrise, it makes it very hard for me to remember that I'm supposed to wait until our wedding night."

Meidani whirled around upon hearing Jaime's voice; he was casually leaning against the entrance back to her room. Smirking as he opened stared at her.

"What do you want?" she hissed.

"What? A man can't look upon his fiancée in the light of the morning sun?"

"No, now I would like you to leave."

"But what if I don't' want to? You have no power over me Meidani, I suggest you remember that."

"And I suggest that you remember that you are responsible for ruining every single aspect of my life. If you think that there will ever be anything between us that isn't hatred, you are sorely mistaken."

"Are you sure about that hatred thing? Because I know that I'm definitely feeling at least one other thing for you right now." Jaime eyed her up and down.

"I will _never_ feel anything else for you. Never," she vowed.

"Never say never little dragon," he chided, "For it can come back to haunt you."

"Don't call me that."

"Why ever not?" he arched an eyebrow questioningly, "I heard about your little experiment with the candle."

"Who told you? And how? I was alone in my room," she snapped.

I He tapped his nose secretively, "I have my sources."

"Well do you mind telling them to piss off? I'd like some privacy."

"Only if I can replace them," he drawled.

She tried to shove past him, and back to her rooms, but he grabbed her by the arms and pinned her to the wall; leaning in close.

"There is a very simple way to get rid of them, all you have to do is stop fighting me. Let me win little dragon, for I always do in the end."

"Not while I still have breath in my body," she retorted.

"Well then let's see if we can get rid of some of that."

He bent his head down, and forced his lips onto hers. With had back against the wall, and her arms pinned by Jaime, there was nowhere for her to escape to. She thought of trying the same trick that had gotten him off her in the tent, but he must have anticipated this, for he pressed close against her; preventing any movement. The only thing that was left to her, was her head. She turned to the side, escaping him for a few brief moments. But he merely transferred one wrist to the other hand, and grabbed her face to hold it still. With nothing left, Meidani simply endured, going limp and doing absolutely nothing. It wasn't long after that that Jaime drew back from her.  
>"You'll learn to like it," he said, "Many girls do."<p>

"Well then marry one of them, I will never consent to your touch," she spat back; whipping the traces of him from her mouth.

"What did I say about never little dragon? Never does not exist; it is merely a concept that people employ when they knew the battle they fight is futile."

He turned on his heel and started walking for the door.

"I suggest that you get yourself ready. By midday we begin making our way to Casterly Rock. Where we, my dear Meidani, are to be married. It is a two week journey, but since the Royal Party is coming, it will probably take a little more time than that. Be prepared."

Once he was gone Meidani stayed outside for several more minutes. Day by day her horizon seemed to be getting smaller. It was like she was in a dark room, and someone was slowly shutting the door. Inch by inch more and more light was lost to her. And she feared the day when it would close firmly, and then there would be nothing. She would be sealed off, and there was nothing that she could see which would end the process. She did not move until her maids bustled in and forced her into changing for the ride. It had begun, the door was closing, and Meidani felt herself being emptied of everything that made her who she was.

**Right, I won't be able to update as much from now on. Because I'll be studying for bloody exams.  
>I will do my best though, and I hope that you all enjoy the story!<br>A.N. Don't' forget to check out the Christmas Awards and vote! :D  
>Also, who knows what a Game Of Thrones wedding would be like? Or should I just wing it and see what comes to mind?<strong>


	6. It Could Be

**Thank you to reviewers: Dark Alana, Garota Anonima, thePatient07, Friggatriskaidekaphobia,  
>Here's chapter 6 for all of you, hope that you enjoy it!<strong>

Chapter 6: It Could Be

The party travelling to Casterly Rock from King's Landing was massive. Meidani was riding somewhere around the middle of it and she could not see the end in either direction. Perhaps the hilly landscape through which they travelled had something to do with that, but the scale of people on the road was more than she could comprehend. Why was it necessary for the King to travel with such a large retinue? Seven hells, why was it necessary for the King to travel with them at all? She wished that their party was smaller, then she could have perhaps found some way to escape. But that was clearly not going to be an easy task to pull off in such a long caravan.

Jaime had clearly thought that her chances of escaping were also highly impossible, so he had allowed her to ride upon a horse rather than in a carriage. Meidani was glad of that at least, this way she wouldn't have to spend the entire trip with his insufferable sister. She had seen Cersei all of three times since her kidnap, and none of their meetings had been exactly what Meidani would call pleasant. The other woman was cold and unfriendly; she seemed to look down on Meidani with all of the snobbery that came with being a Queen. Or perhaps that was simply a Lannister trait, for Jaime was equally if not more arrogant. That man was the epitome of all that was wrong in her world, he was the cause for all the destruction of everything that she had known. And he did not care about a single part of that. To him it was all in a day's work. Leave a House with only one scion standing, kill an unarmed woman without batting an eyelid and kidnapping an unwilling girl for his pleasures. She did not see a single shred of good in that man, and could not see any way that she ever would.

They had been travelling for a few days now, and Meidani felt that they had hardly moved. They seemed to cross the countryside at such a slow pace, the fat king didn't seem to like speedy travel. They stopped every few hours so that he could have a rest, and eat of course, before moving on again. The delays did not trouble Meidani though, she was happy to take as long as she possibly could to reach Casterly Rock. But Jaime clearly did not share the same view point as her, become ever more frustrated with each day. He had gotten into the habit of riding a head of the group, and then doubling back again. He was no longer dressed in the armour of the Kingsguard and Meidani found that this at least gave her a way to identify him when he was riding back; and prepare form verbal barbs if he tried for conversation. Thankfully he never did. They had only exchanged words once since the morning that they set off, and Meidani was grateful that he left her alone for the most part. But she knew that this respite would not last, and was building up walls to defend herself when he went back to normal.

People avoided talking to her on the trip, hell, they even avoided _looking_ at her if they could. She eventually just got fed up with it.

"Have I done something to offend every single member of this camp?" she questioned her maids; they were the only people who had ever ridden next to her.

"They are just weary of you miss," Reana replied.

"But why? I only remained in King's Landing for a day, and I was a captive. I still am."

"Because of your heritage," Penelope clarified, "You are a child of Aerys Targaryen, and many remember the volatile nature of the Mad King. They fear what you may become, and that you may have power to cause damage."

"Me? But like I said, I'm a prisoner. I don't want to be here. If anyone wants me gone, then I will happily comply. And anyway, I'm just a… bastard child. I don't' want power, I don't want to Iron Throne. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. I want my life back before I met Jaime Lannister. Why don't they just assassinate me or something?"

"Because they fear the wrath of Ser Jaime," Reana said, "He has made it clear that if any harm comes to you he will see the offender personally tortured to death. He is not a man who makes threats like that likely, and has the power to cause some serious pain to an enemy. No one would dare to raise a hand against you when he wants you safe."

"How caring of the selfish brute," Meidani drawled sarcastically.

"For him, it is," Penelope said, "Men do not lightly ask for release from the Kingsguard, and Ser Jaime was one of its finest members. I hear he even went against the council of his sister, and they are reported to be close."

"You must have had a strange affect upon that man miss," Reana noted.

"Huh," Meidani snorted, "That man is the most repugnant person I've ever met."

"Nevertheless, you should have seen him before," Penelope argued.

"He was worse? Seven hells, how did Westeros not crumble?"

"Don't be so hard on him miss, he has a heavy reputation to bare," Reana said.

"Don't be so hard on him?" Meidani hissed, "He _ruined_ my whole life, I don't even _have_ a life anymore thanks to him. He killed my mother right in front of me, destroyed my home, kidnapped me, raped me and is now forcing me to marry him. Don't you dare presume to tell me to go easy on that monster."

"There could be worse miss, there could always have been worse," Reana whispered.

"How?" Meidani challenged.

Reana and Penelope shared a glance, but then Reana pulled up the long sleeve of her dress. Meidani hissed at what she saw. The girl had scars crossing all the way up her arm. Some were old, others looked more recent.

"Who did this to you?" she demanded, "They should be sent to prison! Or put to death."

Reana shook her head, and pulled her sleeve back down.

"Please don't miss. No one would believe it if the truth was revealed. I did not show my scars to gain your pity or your championship; I just wanted you to know that there _is_ worse. Whatever Jaime Lannister's other faults may be, at least he is not abuse in the manner that some men can be."

"How can no one believe? The proof is right there, you should tell someone Reana," Meidani urged.

"No miss, if I told I would sentence my family and myself to death. And they do have the authority and connections to carry out the threat."

"But surly if they are under arrest then they cannot do anything to harm you?" Meidani argued.

"It need not be them. Do not fear for me miss, it is not as hard as it used to be, Just remember to be thankful that Ser Jaime is at least honourable in that regard."

"I'm so sorry Reana, I didn't know. I am so sorry. How do you carry on with this happening to you?"

"Don't worry miss," Reana assured, "I can take care of myself, just remember what I told you. And if it ever gets worse, remember that it will always get better. And never let go of the fact that there is always _something_ in this world that is there to live for, no matter what happens, there will always be that one little anchor. And if you ever need a friend or confidant, you have me."

"And me as well," Penelope added.

Meidani scrutinised the pair, "I mean no offense by this, but you two are servants of the Lannisters; correct?"

"Yes miss," they replied in unison.

"And, forgive the assumptions once again, aren't you also meant to be 'keeping an eye on me' which is a euphemism for spying?"

They shared a looked.

"We are meant to do that, but sometimes we can always have been absent when something occurs," Penelope said carefully.

"And as you said miss, we work for the Lannisters, and soon you will also be a Lannister," Reana pointed out.

Meidani winced, "Thanks for the reminder."

"All I meant by it was that soon we will be equally your servants as much as any other member of the Lannister family," Reana clarified.

Meidani smiled. She knew that she had sworn not to trust anyone again, and she did not openly trust these two. There was no way that she would start telling them secrets or perform rebellious tasks in front of them. But she thought that their offers of confidence were truly genuine. And that was something that would help keep her going, to know that there were still kind people out there. But she would still keep her shields up, for the moment they came down, she would be left stranded.

"Thank you, it's good to know that I have… friends in this new life," Meidani said.

"You are most welcome miss," they replied in unison once again.

**/*0*/**

They stopped to camp a few hours after Meidani's conversation with her maids. Hearing some of Reana's story, and seeing the scars the poor woman bore, filled Meidani with pity for the girl, and fury at whoever it was that had inflicted her situation upon her. Meidani had been preaching about what Jaime had put her through, only to find that there was indeed much worse actions a man could take. She was by no means any less hateful towards Jaime, but it did put her situation in a little bit more perspective. Reana was just a serving girl, and yet she still managed to carry on with a smile upon her face in spite of what she suffered. Meidani carried the blood of two strong and stubborn Houses, and she crumbled and wished for death after incidents that were small in comparison. She was weak and pathetic, death was such a finality, it should not be wished for. In life you could do anything, including find a way to break free, but in death there was nothing.

She wished that Reana would divulge the identity of her abuser, Meidani wanted to see justice done. But the girl clearly put her family's safety first, and as much as Meidani wished otherwise, she knew at heart that there was nothing that could be done to change the girl's mind. She felt so guilty now for how she had thought. She had been swept into a dark world after the traumatic events that had shaken up her life, and had assumed that there could be nothing worse and wanted to die. But here Reana was, suffering far more than she, and managing to keep on going with life. Instead of moping about and allowing herself to be downtrodden, she should find a way to keep her head held high. She was a Cairhien, and the mighty oak bowed to nothing.

Servants were setting up the tents, and her maids would be seeing to hers, so Meidani decided to walk over to the picket lines to see her horse. It was a fine animal, a leggy white with a coat so pure it seemed to shine when it was properly clean. At the moment it wasn't due to their travelling, but she was still a beautiful animal. And Meidani could feel in her that she longed to go at a faster pace than the walk that the caravan travelled at, she looked forward to testing her fully one day. She had named the beast Lynessa, who had been a famous Cairhien warrior woman. She had fought in battles beside the men of her House, and lead them to many victories. Her mother had often told Meidani stories of the famous woman, and Meidani had always idolised her. Lynessa recognised her scent as she walked forwards, and the tall white gave a welcoming whinny.

"Hey there girl, did you miss me? I thought I'd come and see you since there doesn't seem to be much other use for me," Meidani said.

The horse nuzzled her and snuffled about for treats.

"Nothing today sorry, I'll bring you an apple later though. I promise."

A small brown head suddenly popped up, "Meidani? It is you! I thought I recognised your voice."

Meidani whirled around, and narrowed her eyes when they landed upon the small boy. It was Jonah.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned.

"Just looking after the horses," he replied.

"Aren't you the kitchen boy? Or was that another misleading lie?"

A hurt expression crossed his face, "I didn't lie to you."

"Not with words, but you lied with intentions. I thought that you were genuinely being a kind person, but you were just working for Lannister to garner information."

"All he wanted to know was your name. And I did enjoy talking to you, it was nice," the boy defended.

Meidani may have let her heart soften a little towards her maids, but this boy had been the one to harden it in the first place. She was not going to trust his angelic face again. She opened her mouth to make a retort, but another voice cut over her.

"Get away from here boy, you are upsetting my lady," Jaime announced.

"Yes Ser, sorry Ser," Jonah muttered; scampering off with a final regretful look in Meidani's direction.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him you know, he was only following orders," Jaime said.

"_Your_ orders, that doesn't exactly help," Meidani retorted, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"It's a camp, I can go about as I please can I not?"

"How is it that you somehow managed to turn up where I was?" Meidani questioned.

Jaime shrugged, "I heard you came this way and realised that I hadn't spoken to you all day. Considering that we shall soon be married, I figured I should make a point of seeing you."

"You mean imposing your unwilling presence," she muttered.

"Oh Mei, do you ever stop fighting?" he asked.

"No. And don't call me that," she snapped.

"You don't like it? And here I thought that couples always had little nicknames for one another," Jaime mused.

"We. Are. Not. A. Couple." She said; punctuating each word.

"I beg to differ my sweet fiancée. But have your choice, I can always keep with little dragon."

"Neither, now please leave me be."

"Hmm, I shall just have to alternate then. Do you like the horse?"

The sudden topic change threw Meidani off a little, but she recovered quickly enough.

"She's a fine animal," she acknowledged.

"I'm glad you like her, what name did you give her?"

"Lynessa," she replied shortly; hoping that if she just answered his questions he'd leave.

"The warrior woman of House Cairhien? You know her stories then?" he inquired.

"Yes, I always aspired to be rather like her."

He arched an eyebrow, "Really? Tell me little dragon, do you know whom she married?"

"A great and noble warrior from one of the Great Houses, they loved each other," Meidani replied.

"But which House?" he persisted.

Her brow furrowed, "I don't know, my mother never said."

He smirked, "He was Janduin Lannister."

**Hmm, I wonder if she still aspires to be like Lynessa now…  
>Hope to have the next chapter up soon. I keep saying that I might not be able to update because of exams, then I keep writing. This story is just in my head! I just want to get it all down :D<br>Thank you all for reading, and I hope to get reviews telling me how you found the chapter.  
><strong>


	7. No Way Out

**Thanks to reviewer: Dark Alana  
>Here's chapter 7!<br>Enjoy ;D**

Chapter 7: No Way Out

They had been on the road for approximately two and a half weeks now, and Casterly Rock drew ever closer. Meidani had been informed that they expected to reach the city of Lannisport by mid afternoon the next day. She was filled with dread. Once they reached Lannisport her wedding day would dawn, and she would lose the last slivers of freedom that she clutched onto. Having the company of her maids greatly lessened the burdens that she had been carrying. She was by no means open with them, but it was nice to have people to talk to just about anything. They told her their background stories. Reana was the second daughter of a blacksmith and seamstress out of seven children, and Penelope was only child of a cooper and her mother had been a weaver until her death. They hardly saw their parents, and when Meidani asked why they simply said that it wasn't allowed.

"By who's rules?" she had asked.

"The Lannisters miss," Reana had replied.

"Well I'll ensure that you two get a leave of some kind as soon as I can," Meidani had assured them.

They had thanked her, and Meidani had started feeling closer to them as the trip went on. But she still felt that undercurrent of suspicion that told her that they were still spying on her for Jaime. If not for that, she may have gone as far as to say that she trusted the girls. She had seen Jonah once more, during the past couple of weeks. The boy had taken a step towards her, and looked on the brink of saying something, but her cold glare had silenced him and sent him running off to some other part of the camp. Jaime had made a nuisance of himself, turning up at least once a day and insisting on talking to her. Most of the time it ended in an argument, which they were both equally responsible for, and one of them would stalk off; but he'd always be back the next day. It was frustrating! There seemed no way to shake him off. She was going to be shackled by marriage to the man in a few days, could he not give her some respite beforehand? Or perhaps he was just trying to wear her down, if that was the case then it was working. She felt so tired, but not from the long trip, trying to keep herself from attacking the man was a supreme effort on her part. As if her thoughts had summoned him, the man himself rode up next to her.

"Good morning little dragon," he greeted.

"Why do you keep doing this?" she sighed

"What? Making an effort to keep up contact with my lovely little fiancée? Because I want to, and I can," he replied; a smug expression on his face.

"Can't you just leave me alone? I'm going to be stuck married to you in a few days, give me some freedom," she begged.

He pretended to think for a moment, but Meidani knew what his answer was going to be before he even opened his mouth.

"Nope, I don't think that I will."

"Is annoying people one of your talents? Because from your skill at it I have to assume that you must have practiced for many years, how did your family put up with you?"

"I am actually the family golden boy," he corrected.

"Spoilt brat," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing golden boy," she replied in mocking tones.

"I certainly hope so. And in reply to your earlier comment, you seem to be under the impression that I am out to deliberately annoy you."

"You mean that you aren't?" she interrupted.

"I'm afraid not my dear little dragon."

"You could have fooled me," she muttered, "Well what _are_ you doing then?"

"I am simply trying to establish contact with you. To get a better understanding of the woman who is soon to be my wife. I am reaching out little dragon, why don't you try to do the same?"

"Never," she retorted without a second thought.

"You say that every time, but think about it. Whether you like it or not, you _will_ marry me in a few days time. So would it not make your life easier if you perhaps didn't fight me at every turn?"

"I will never stop fighting you Jaime Lannister, not while I still have breath in my body," she seethed.

He sighed, "Just remember little dragon, it only makes it harder for you."

"Stop calling me that!" she cried; fed up with the number of times he had used it today alone.

"Why? I think it is a rather fitting little nickname considering your heritage and strange fire resistant abilities," he mused.

"Don't associate me with the Targaryens."

"You are a strange girl Mei, in one breath you pass judgement upon my character; when in truth you don't even know who you really are yet."

"I know full well who I am, thank you very much! And don't call me that either, I have a proper name you know."

He leaned towards her, and she automatically shifted back. But then remember that she was still on horseback when she nearly fell to the ground, how did he manage to keep his balance?

"Do you _Meidani_, do you really? You're seventeen years old girl, and you've barely lived yet. How can you know yourself if you won't even accept that Targaryen blood runs through your veins, if you turn a blind eye to an entire half of yourself, how do you expect to understand who you are as a whole?"

"Please move back," she requested.

Jaime smirked, and then slowly few himself back to an upright position in his saddle.

"I seem to unsettle you rather a lot my dear, I hope that this trend does not continue for too long; my patience only runs so deep."

He turned his horse to walk away, but Meidani breathed a sigh of relief at his departure. But then got to thinking about her situation, which lead to a train of thought and Reana's. She realised that there was a question that she wanted to ask Jaime, but had never gotten around to it before. Cringing at what she had to do, she nudged Lynessa to go a little faster so that she could catch up to him.

"Hey Lannister, wait up a moment!" she called out.

He pulled his horse to a stop, "Missing me already?"

"You wish," she sneered.

"You have no idea. And for one who preaches that I misuse her name, you seem to have trouble recalling mine."

"It's not that, I just have trouble forcing it off my tongue," she retorted.

"I can help with that," he replied; seductive expression slipping onto his face like a mask.

"I think that I'd rather rot," she noted drily.

"If all you called me for was insults, then surly it can wait a bit," he said.

"No, it wasn't just that. I just had a question for you…"

"And what kind of question might this be?" he inquired.

"If someone was being abused by a man, what is the punishment for the man?" she asked in a rush.

Jaime's eyebrows rose, "Not the question I was expecting. What is the woman? A whore? A lady?"

Meidani shook her head, "Neither, just a common girl."

Jaime rubbed his chin as he thought for a moment, "He would probably be flogged, or worse. It depends on the level of the injury inflicted upon the girl. And of course if she brings forth sufficient proof, it's hard for people to admit it to others."

"Right, thanks," she turned Lynessa back to withdraw to her usual place.

"Wait just one moment."

He grabbed into the reins and drew her back towards him.

"What did you ask that question for? Why did you want to know?" he questioned.

Meidani thought fast, she hadn't realised that this would happen. She did not want to reveal Reana's secret. Well she did, but she knew that she couldn't. What should she do? How could she talk her way out of this… This had probably been the first time that they had parted without a proper argument, and she would probably have to change that. She drew herself up haughtily.

"I was just wondering in case I needed it for future reference," she replied.

She knew that she had struck a nerve when a dark expression clouded his face, and steeled herself for the oncoming fury.

"Just what are you insinuating?" he hissed, "You think that I would ever do such a thing to you?"

She held up her wrists, the raw marks from the ropes had faded for the most part, but a shadow of their former existence still remained.

"I don't know Lannister, you tell me."

He drew her horse even closer, making sure they Lynessa stood right next to his own horse, and this also bought Meidani _much_ closer to him than she would have liked at this particular moment in time. Seven hells, at any moment in time!

"Let me inform you of something my dear. Yes, I did rape you, I'm not going to lie and cover it up. But I can assure you that I would never, and I mean _never_, lay a hand on a woman in a violent manner unless I was defending myself against an attack. Do you understand me?"

Meidani knew that she was in dangerous territory here, but that didn't stop the biting remark that slipped out of her mouth.

"What are those words you keep telling me about saying never?"

Incandescent fury sprang into his eyes.

"You _dare_ insult me like this? You know me so little and yet you pass judgement as if you are some noble god. I will not say that I am a good man Meidani, I know that I am not, but I will say that I am an honourable one. And if you ever doubt it again." He let his threat hang in the air between them.

Meidani did not say a word, but simply stared back at him. Refusing to let her violet eyes look away from his anger-bright green ones. Eventually the fury faded away though, and his normal nonchalance took its place. He reached out a hand to her, and she flinched back automatically. There was a flash of something that she couldn't quite decipher in his eyes, but it quickly died away. He simply let his hand rest softly on her cheek, and she shudder at his touch, pulling her face away.

"How low your opinion of me must be," he whispered.

He released her after that, and rode off into the distance. Meidani was considerable shaken. Of all the reactions she had been expecting, the one she received had not been on the list. And his strange manner afterwards, she swore that that man simply confused her for the fun of it. Oh how she hated him. She eventually slipped back into her normal place, and rode for the rest of the day in silence. Ignoring the world; and wrapped deep in her own thoughts.

**/*0*/**

"Miss, we are expected to reach Casterly Rock tomorrow," Reana informed her; as she put Meidani's silver-blonde hair intro a soft braid.

"Yes, I had heard as much," Meidani replied in a slightly dead voice.

"Do not worry so much miss, I'm sure that you will find it in you to make the best of it," Reana assured.

"I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed now," she said, "Leave me please."

"Yes miss."

She and Penelope got up and made their way out of the tent.

"Sleep well miss," Penelope said.

"Thank you, and you two as well."

Meidani was then thankfully left alone. She crawled into her small camp bed and shut her eyes. This was an attempt to get herself to fall asleep, when she knew that such a thing would be nigh on impossible for her to achieve on this night. Tomorrow they would arrive at Casterly Rock, and then in a couple of days she would be married to Jaime Lannister. She had spent so much time musing and dreading it, but now it was actually approaching with speed. She was just contemplating it once again, when she heard someone enter her tent. Meidani immediately went on high alert, suspecting it to be Jaime. But then realised that the shadowy form she could see was not of his stature, but that didn't lessen her apprehension.

"Lady Meidani? Are you awake?" a voice called.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"My name is Jorry, I was a loyal servant of your father's. Please come with me, I can help you to escape," he replied.

"Aerys Targaryen was no father to me," she replied.

"Nevertheless my lady, do you not wish to escape from this place?" he asked.

She thought for a moment, "How do I know that I can trust you?'

He shrugged, "You don't, but what other chance do you have?"

Meidani decided that this might be her last chance, she did not trust this man one bit, but there could be no harm in trying to get out. She stood up and went towards the tent entrance where he waited.

"How are you going to do this?" she asked.

He handed her a shell hair ornament, "I will create a distraction, you ride to a coastal port. Do not go to Lannisport though. Get on a ship to Pentos, give that to Illyrio Mopatis, he is the Magister there. Your siblings are under his protection, you should also be able to find shelter with him. Now go, get to your horse."

Meidani raced through the silent camp, careful not to be seen by the guards on duty. She reached Lynessa quickly, and untied the horse; urging her to be quiet. Without taking the time to get tack ready, she mounted bareback and hoped that she would not fall off during her ride. A commotion went up in the camp within a few minutes, and Meidani guessed that to be Jorry's distraction. She put Lynessa into a swift canter and broke free of the camp. Alas, it wasn't long before she heard someone coming at her from behind. She had thought that Jorry would buy her more time, or perhaps he had just been another ploy. Nevertheless, she kept on going, urging Lynessa to greater speeds.

The rider caught up with her tough, and was soon riding neck and neck with her. She did not glance to her right to see who it was, not wanting to distract herself. She pulled Lynessa to the left suddenly, hoping to lose her pursuer for a moment and gain a small lead, but it didn't work. He leapt from his horse and tackled her to the ground. The air was driven from her lungs, and she rolled with her pursuer for a moment; before they came to a stop. She tried to hit and kick at him, but he immobilized her with his body. He was breathing heavily from his chase of her, and their subsequent landing from horseback, but was still far stronger than she.

"That little dragon, was a _very_ stupid thing to do."

Meidani groaned, of course, it just had to be Jaime who went after her.

"Let me go," she snapped back.

"I don't' think so my dear, you are coming back to the camp with me. Your little cohort has already been executed for his treason."

"No."

"You can come willingly, or I can drag you, the choice is yours."

Meidani said nothing, not wanted to consent to either option. He sighed in frustration, and simply got up and threw her over his shoulder. She was carried back to the camp and kicked and punched him the whole way. It was humiliating having to be seen in this manner by everyone, but she met every stare she received. Jaime carried her all the way to her tent, and dumped her on the bed. But he did not leave.

"Aren't you going?" she questioned.

"After that little stunt you just pulled? You are not leaving my presence until we arrive at Casterly Rock tomorrow," he replied.

Meidani was not in the mood to pick a fight with him after what had just happened, so she just went back to her bed and faced in the other direction; hoping that he wouldn't see the tear that had leaked down her face. She stiffened when she felt him getting into the bed next to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" she snapped; not turning around.

"You really do think so little of me don't you? Fear not, I have no intention of touching you. But just because I'm not letting you leave me presence doesn't mean that I don't' want my sleep, this helps me achieve both of those."

Meidani inched further away from him, but he only moved closer. In the end, she just got up and moved onto the floor, opting the discomfort rather than having to share a bed with him. He made no comment, and no more words were passed between them that night. Meidani ended up crying herself to sleep, she had just lost her only way out.

**Finished! What do you guys think?  
>Review and tell me?<br>Thanks for reading this! Hope to update soon :D**


	8. Meet The Family

**Here's chapter 8!  
>Hope that you all enjoy it!<br>Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, Ella Kelly, Garota Anonima**

Chapter 8: Meet The Family

Meidani woke up with the dawn on the next day. The floor was not the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but for some reason she found that she was no longer _on_ the floor. She was once more in her bed, which was nice she guessed. But what wasn't nice was the company she had. She felt an arm wrapped around her waist from behind, and without turning around she knew that it would belong to Jaime. Cringing in disgust, she shoved him off and got out of the bed. She had assumed that he was asleep, but he hadn't been.

"You know you cry out a lot in your sleep," he said.

"It could be the product of the nightmares," she retorted, "Ones that normally feature you as the antagonist."

"My dear, you wound me."

"Hopefully it's a deep wound," she muttered, "Now can you please leave."

"Hmm, should I let you out of my sight?" he mused.

"I need to get dressed, now go," she commanded.

"Oh she gets bossy. And to be perfectly honest little dragon, that isn't giving me a very good incentive to leave your company. Quite the opposite in fact."

"Get. Out." She pointed at the tent entrance.

"How do I know that you won't make a run for it while I'm gone?" he inquired.

"How would I do that? You're just making excuses not to go now, and if you ask me their pretty weak ones."

"You think so? I quite like them myself. Last night was evidence enough to have me concerned about whether you'll remain in the camp or not."

"You think I can escape in broad daylight, from the middle of the camp, after the failed attempt last night? You have a high opinion of my skills Lannister."

"You have no idea."

Meidani sighed, she wished he'd stop putting those little remarks in. It was so much easier when they had their usual mocking banter, he'd changed though.

"Please go, give me some respite," she begged.

"Erm, is now a bad time miss?"

Reana and Penelope were standing at the entrance to her tent, looking rather embarrassed. Meidani realised how the scene must look to them. She, still in her thin nightgown; with Jaime Lannister, who was lounging casually in her bed. A blush flooded her cheeks and she hastily grabbed up her robe from where it had been draped over a chair. Jaime laughed.

"Bit late dearest," he said dryly.

"No, it's not a bad time," she addressed her maids, "Ser Jaime was just leaving."

"You used my name? It must be a good day today," Jaime noted.

"Shut up and leave Lannister," she commanded.

"As you wish."

He got up from the bed, and Meidani hadn't noticed till then that he had discarded his shirt during the night. She looked away from his broad chest, and saw it crumpled on the floor. She picked it up and thrust it at him, still not looking up.

"I believe this is yours," she said cordially.

He put his hand over hers, covering it fully, and drew her to him. She had been expecting him to simply grab the shirt, but this had completely thrown her off. She stumbled forwards, and found herself locked in his arms. He towered over her, and the top of her head barely scraped his chin. She tried to pull away, but he only tightened his grip. He leant down his head so that it was beside her ear.

"Don't ever try to escape from me again, you will regret it," he whispered.

Then he pulled back from her and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. She shuddered and took two large steps backwards the moment he released her. To anyone else, including her watching maids, the scene must have looked like a man giving his fiancée a loving embrace and kiss. But the words that he had whispered sent a chill down Meidani's spine. His embrace and kiss had been no loving gesture, but rather a sign of ownership. She felt sick, but Jaime only laughed at her reaction and expression.

"Farewell for now little dragon, but I will see you later," he promised.

"Not soon I hope," he replied.

He laughed as he exited the tent and pulled his shirt back on. The man was truly the most insufferable being she had ever encountered in her life. Meidani glanced over to her maids, they were staring at her with interest.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing miss," Penelope replied, "It's just… well we've never seen Ser Jaime act like that before."

"And we've seen him around for a while," Reana put in.

"You mean act like an ass? I thought that is came as naturally to him as breathing," Meidani snorted.

They shook their heads.

"Him hugging you like that, it was very out of character for him," Reana said.

"I think that he likes you miss, or is at least starting to care for you," Penelope added.

"Ha!" Meidani scoffed, "he was just showing that he thinks he owns me. Like the pig of a man that he is."

"Don't be so hard on him miss, he's not as bad as you make him out to be," Reana pleaded.

This was always a point of argument between her and her maids. They told her that Jaime was really an honourable man, who according to them actually cared for her. And all that she saw that the cruel, spoilt and intolerable side of him. Personally she found it quite hard to believe that he had any other side to him. And if he did, he certainly hid it with the best skill. Most of the time they avoided discussing it so that they did not argue, she liked her maids, but got frustrated with them for siding with him most of the time. She didn't want to fight with them today, so she dropped the subject. In spite of wanting to peruse her point further.

"Are you two from Lannisport?" she asked.

"Yes miss, we knew each other before we both ended up getting work with the Lannisters," Penelope replied.

"And are you glad to be going home?"

"Somewhat miss, but a lot of things have changed," Penelope said.

"And you Reana?" she inquired.

"It is always nice to see the ocean again, have you ever seen it miss?"

"No, never," Meidani admitted, "But I've heard of it from stories. Is it true that it has no end?"

"The ocean is vast miss, it looks like it would never end. A great sparkling blue mass that stretches out as far as the eye can see, but there are other countries set into the water. So perhaps it had an end somewhere, as all things must. Or maybe it is like eternity, no end or beginning, just a constant loop that carries on through the millennia."

"It sounds magnificent, but I can't say that I'm eager to see it. For unfortunately it would have to be during my time at Lannisport, which is not a happy thing for me."

"Try to make the best of it miss, that's all the advice that I can give you. At heart Ser Jaime is not an evil man."

There was a silence for the next few minutes that was slightly uncomfortable. None of the girls were quite sure what to say, so no one said anything at all. But all silences must be broken at some point.

"We break up camp and move for Casterly Rock soon, what would you like to wear today miss? It's quite an important occasion, so I'd recommend something a little more formal than your normal riding dresses," Penelope said, "It won't take long to reach Casterly Rock."

Meidani made a face, "Why do I have to dress up to impress these people?"

"Because it is what's expected miss, and if you don't then you will just be forced to anyway," Reana reasoned.

Meidani sighed, "Fine, what are my options? You two know your way around my wardrobe far better than I do."

Penelope grinned at Reana, "I know just the thing."

**/*0*/**

Meidani ended up being put in a light purple dress with slashes of white; it had long trailing sleeves and a skirt which was a bit too long for her. The day was hot, and she was glad of the dress's light material as she rode. But she still felt ridiculous. She hadn't gotten used to wearing lady like dresses, and had been able to get away with plain ones for most of the trip. This just made her feel silly. Lynessa apparently agreed with her, as when the horse had seen Meidani she had started neighing. If horses could laugh, Meidani would have sworn that Lynessa was having a laughing fit at her expense.

"If you don't be quite that I'll put you in matching livery," Meidani had threatened.

The horse had gotten some understanding from it, and had promptly quietened down. Once the whole camp was finally ready to leave, the sun was quite high in the sky. They expected to reach Casterly Rock within a few hours, and Meidani hoped that they would encounter some kind of trouble which would delay them. Unfortunately it seemed that she was going to be the only one to have trouble approach her, and it was in its usual form of a tall man with blonde hair and green eyes.

"That's a lovely dress," Jaime complimented; riding next to her.

"My maids forced me," Meidani replied, "Apparently I have to make a good impression on your family."

"Don't worry, I'm sure your calm manner and charms will with my father over," Jaime said sarcastically.

"Thanks for that," she shot back, "I don't care what any of you Lannisters think of me."

"Do you care what anyone thinks of you?" Jaime asked.

"No, why should I? What does their opinion matter?" Meidani inquired in turn.

"Sometimes when one has a certain reputation, the opinions of others weigh heavily," Jaime said; and Meidani thought she sensed a flicker of sadness within him, but soon his usual manner was back in place, "But one learns to carry on."

Meidani didn't respond to this. She was not about to offer her sympathies when what he was talking about was most likely his betrayal of the Mad King. And Jaime did not attempt further conversation, so they rode on in silence. She would have felt more comfortable if he had continued with his normal practice of riding a head of the party, but he stayed next to her. Having him close put her on edge, and she kept watching him out of the corner of her eye to see if he tried anything.

"You know I can feel you watching me little dragon, I know that I'm handsome but you don't need to stare so secretively."

"Do you have a modest bone in your body?" she questioned.

"No, do I have reason to?" she replied.

"Oh you arrogant prick," she muttered, "And I was not staring at you."

"Really? You were just looking in my direction out of the corner of your eye every other second."

"You were watching?" she shot back.

He smirked, "I was, but I'm not afraid to admit it."

Meidani was going to shot a snarky remark back at him, but at that moment the crested the final hill; and she looked down at what lay before them. The ocean was just as Reana had described it, a sparkling blue mass that seemed to go on forever; certainly as far as Meidani could see. She also saw the city of Lannisport, a bustling port city, which looked like it was nice enough. Its harbour was dotted with merchant ships and the Lannister's fleet, so it was quite full. Towering above it all was Casterly Rock, an impressive castle set into the very rock.

"You like what you see?" Jaime inquired; and she swore that he was internally laughing at her.

She shrugged nonchalantly, "It's alright."

"Yes, that's why your jaw dropped open. I was mildly worried that a fly might enter your mouth."

Meidani decidedly chose to ignore him, and urged Lynessa onwards towards the city. People waved and cheered when they say the party come into view, and many passed flowers or other small gifts. There were also many people calling out to Jaime, he accepted it all as if it was his due. Egotistical prat that he was. He stayed close to Meidani though, and she tried to ignore the strange stares that people sent her way. When they reached the entrance to Casterly Rock, he pointed it out to her.

"That's the Lion's Mouth, they say that it is impenetrable," he said.

"And is it?" she inquired.

He grinned, "Well, no one's gotten through yet."

They rode on, and soon reached the castle courtyard. The nobles had assembled there, and Meidani picked out Jaime's father and brother quickly. His brother was easy to recognise, the Imp stood out from the rest due to his size. And his father had the same arrogant aura about him. Not to mention that the pair were dressed in clothing which featured the lion of House Lannister. They bowed before the King, and Robert dismounted from his horse.

"Lord Tywin, it has been a while," Robert greeted; his words were cordial.

"Your grace, I trust that your journey was not too uncomfortable," Tywin bowed low to the King.

"No, no," Robert waved off the comment, "It was just fine."

Then the King went down the line to make his greetings, and the Queen stepped out of her carriage with her children.

"Father," she said.

Tywin embraced his daughter warmly, "Cersei, it is good to see you again. How have you been?"

"Very well thank you," she replied.

"And how my grandchildren have grown," he praised; viewing them, "And Joffrey is looking very well."

Jaime dismounted at that moment and stepped forwards. His father's attention turned to him.

"Ahh, here is my son," he greeted; clasping Jaime close, "I hear you are to be married soon. Introduce me to this bride of yours."

Jaime walked over to where Meidani sit sat upon Lynessa. She made no move to dismount, so he put his hands on her waist and lifted her down. Once more he pulled her into his arms in what looked like an embrace.

"Be nice, my father is not someone you want to piss off," he whispered.

He led her over to Lord Tywin, who gave her the once over.

"She's a pretty thing," he said, "But you never mentioned that she was a Targaryen. You're marrying a bastard? Who was the mother?"

"Penelope Cairhien, and I'm doing for good reasons father. Trust me on this," Jaime assured.

"Well good luck controlling her, she's got that Targaryen fire in her eyes. What's your name girl?"

"Meidani Cairhien," she replied.

"Think of that as your House do you?" Tywin inquired.

"Yes, Aerys Targaryen may be my father by blood, but he is of no relation to me," Meidani said.

"Brother, it has been too long," Tyrion Lannister stepped forward to greet his brother.

"Tyrion," Jaime clasped forearms with his younger brother, "Have you been well?"

"I have indeed, and I see that you have been up to something. Bringing home a wife is not a thing that I ever pictured you doing."

"Well, let's just say that I thought it was time," Jaime replied.

Tyrion raised his eyebrows, "Oh I can't wait to hear this story, meanwhile, I think your lovely bride to be is looking rather awkward."

"Pleasure to meet you," Meidani greeted.

"Is it really? My you are polite. Be careful not to let this one tear up your heart Jaime," Tyrion warned, "Some wives do that."

"Oh I fully intend not to let that happen," Jaime assured.

Meidani had been largely ignored during the family and royal greetings, but that was completely fine with her. It gave her a chance to study the people and her surroundings. Casterly Rock certainly was grand, but she did not trust Tywin Lannister. He made her even more nervous than Jaime did, which was saying something. Tyrion she did not have a problem with, he seemed rather… normal in comparison to the rest of his family. Meidani had the ever growing sense of being trapped by the high walls of Casterly Rock, and a feeling of suffocation began to creep up her spine. The end of freedom was near, and she shivered in the afternoon heat.

**There you all go! Hope that you enjoyed the chapter :D  
>I hope to have the next one up soon! Review and tell me what you think ;D<br>Just another reminder about the Game Of Thrones Christmas Awards, post your votes!**


	9. Banquet Night

**Chapter 9 is here!  
>Thanks to reviewer: Dark Alana<br>Enjoy :D  
>Just a reminder: Game of Thrones Christmas Awards, don't' forget to place your votes at the forum!<strong>

Chapter 9: Banquet Night

Once all of the pleasantries had been done with, the guests had been ushered to their rooms so that they could rest before the welcome feast that evening. Meidani had been given the use of Cersei's old room until her wedding. The thought that the cold Queen had once inhabited the room she used made Meidani shudder, but she would still have rather stayed in there than be moved to Jaime's room the next night. She had not known that their wedding would be so soon, she had assumed that there would at least be a few days before it occurred. But her dress hung in her room like a stark white reminder of what tomorrow would bring. Her maids were fussing over her at the moment, trying to get her into a gown for the feast. But Meidani still remained seated in her travelling dress, ignoring the steaming bath that waited for her. Someone knocked at the door, and Penelope rushed to answer it.

"My lord," she curtsied low.

"Might I be allowed in?" the voice of Tyrion Lannister called out.

Meidani thought about refusing him, but then realised that it would give her more time to procrastinate.

"Come on," she replied.

He was already dressed formally, and eyed her up and down, "Did no one tell you that there is a feast tonight? Or do you simply have no sense of timing?"

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" she inquired; promptly ignoring his questions.

"Oh I just wanted to meet my future sister in law, and see what on earth it is that my brother finds so fascinating about you," he replied.

"I've already had once such visit from your sister," Meidani said.

"Ah well, my darling elder sister has a much more calculated reason I'm sure. But mine stems from simple curiosity. You are the last bastard of Aerys Targaryen and the daughter of Penelope Cairhien, whom everyone presumed dead after the Sack of King's Landing."

"Which was done by _your _family," Meidani pointed out.

"Very true, and the Mad King's murder was done by my brother, whom you are soon to marry. But we all have these ghosts in our pasts, one must simply learn to look past them."

"Well aren't you just full of wisdom," she drawled sarcastically.

"I like to think that I am full of knowledge yes, it's my main weapon. The sword may be most effective out in the open, but the mind is truly the best tool of defence or attack."

"Until someone creeps up behind you with a knife for your back, even if that person is in your trusted guard," Meidani retorted.

"Yes, people always mention that part," Trion mused, "But then you have you ask yourself; where would the Seven Kingdoms be if my brother had not acted as he had?"

Meidani had no answer for that, so she simply said, "He killed my mother."

"He's killed a lot of people in his time, what makes her so special?"

Meidani felt as if the dwarf had slapped her in the face, "He murdered her right in from of me, after swearing not to. Your brother is a monster."

"I disagree, you see, most people call _me_ a monster simply because of the fact that I am a dwarf. But Jaime never did, he was always a true brother to me. How many other men do you know who would be like that?"

"A man will always be kinder to his family," Meidani reasoned.

"Which you will soon be a part of," Tyrion pointed out.

"What are you trying to imply?"

"Oh nothing at all. But tell me girl, did you even know your mother?" Tyrion asked.

"Know her? Of course I knew her! She was my mother, I knew everything about her."

"Are you sure? _Everything_?" Tyrion persisted.

"Well…" Meidani floundered for a moment, "I suppose one can never truly know _everything_ about a person, everyone has their secrets. Everyone is entitled to secrets I believe."

"What do you know about your mother's past?"

Meidani frowned, "Not much, she never talked about it. She always said that 'what was done was done, and nothing could change it, it's best to move forward.'"

"Penelope Cairhien, she had quite a reputation your mother did. The Cairhiens were loyal supporters of the Targaryens, if the rebellion hadn't happened you probably would have been married off to Viserys. They were a small House, but backed by ruthless ambition. It is a pity that they all flocked to King's Landing at the mad King's call, if some had stayed back perhaps they would have lived on."

"Did you just come here to give me a lesson in my family's history?" she interrupted.

"Just like any petulant child waiting to hear the important things without the back story," Tyrion chided, "Your mother was the only doted upon daughter of Killgarah Cairhien, I remember her somewhat. Always proud and righteous, but she was a beautiful woman. On her seventeenth birthday, Aerys Targaryen took her and fucked her. She was presumed dead with the rest of her family, but clearly she ran away. We heard rumours of her existence a couple of months ago now, hence Jaime's subsequent finding of her, and you. That Penelope Cairhien got pregnant from the Mad King had never really been thought of until you turned up, and now my brother is marrying you. I must ask him what his motivation is."

"You are telling me only what I already know," Meidani said.

"Then perhaps I have more information for you. The girl your mother was is perhaps not the same as the woman you knew her to be. Penelope was spoilt and had a temper that could storm the palace, if she wanted anything, she got it. If she didn't have her way, then she could get violent and cruel. I once saw her dragging a serving girl around by the hair because she had not obeyed Penelope's order as it went against her father's wishes. She was even responsible for the executions of two men because of her petty desires. Tell me girl, do you still think that my brother was wrong in his actions?"

Meidani's face had gone as white as a sheet, and she was trembling in shock. It couldn't be true, it had to be lies.

"You're lying," she croaked out.

He raised his brows, "I'm lying am I? Why would I do that?"

"Because…" Meidani wracked her brains, "Because Jaime made you."

Tyrion laughed, "You really think that he is some kind of demon incarnate don't you?"

"Are you trying to tell me that he isn't?"

"No, I am trying to tell you not to be so naïve. I am sure that your mother was a very kind and caring person towards you, but don't tell me she never wept for her past. Don't try to tell me that you didn't see evidence, don't lie to me. And more importantly, don't lie to yourself."

Meidani realised with a shock that what Tyrion was saying actually might be true. Her mother's rants about things she'd done in the past, it wasn't what had happened to her, it was what she had done to other people. The guilt had wracked her, and Meidani had never known. She had never known a thing about her mother's past. And she was just beginning to realise that she had barely scratched the surface of who her mother was, she knew nothing. And thank scared and angered her. Curse Tyrion Lannister. In fact, curse all bloody Lannisters. They did nothing but sow trouble and doubt.

"I did not want this," she muttered, "None of this. Not being kidnapped, raped and then forced to marry Jaime. I never wanted this."

"And I never wanted to be a dwarf, but you know life is just tough and we must live with it," Tyrion said rather bluntly.

"This was never meant to happen," she mumbled, "It's not how things were supposed to go."

"Well then how were things meant to go? Did you have your secluded life all planed out? Did you know every detail?"

"Shut up," she hissed, "Shut up and get out."

"I am merely pointing out things that you are too blind to see. You say that things should have gone another way, but then tell me what way? If things should be different, then how?"

"You brother did this! It's all his bloody fault," Meidani raged; losing her control slightly, "I wish that he would rot in the seven hells, in fact, he probably will. Gods I can't do this. JUST GET OUT!"

Meidani wasn't aware of how she looked when she was angry, but Tyrion saw it all. Her pale hair starting to rise up as if it were some living creature, she her violet eyes lit up like purple flames. Oh this girl was definitely a Targaryen, but she also clearly possessed the Cairhien temper. Fairly docile most of the time; but when truly angry, then a fearsome thing to behold. This was certainly proven when she dragged him to the door and literally booted him out of her room. It was a strange experience for Tyrion, but he decided not to complain. The girl would have a hard enough time tomorrow without him making it worse, and she was clearly in a state of suppressed trauma. He walked over to where his brother was waiting around the next corner.

"I like her," Tyrion said, "Lots of fire, be careful that you don't burn yourself dear brother."

"What happened?" Jaime asked.

"Well we had a little chat about family history, then she lost her temper and kicked me out of her room. Quite literally I might add."

Jaime threw back his head a roared with laughter, "That sounds like her alright. I guess that she didn't take the information well."

"Not well at all, but she's thinking now, she's not going to be able to forget my words. Why didn't you just tell her yourself? Or tell her that your orders specified the killing of the Cairhien?" Tyrion inquired.

"Because if I did it then she would never believe me, no matter that it is the honest truth," Jaime replied.

"Yes, she does seem to dislike you with certain ferocity. I'd work on that if I were you, it can't make for the foundations of a good marriage." Tyrion turned to walk away.

"Thank you for the advice little brother," Jaime called.

Tyrion turned around, "I forgot to ask, why are you marrying the girl?"

"A man can't take a wife?"

"Not when he used to be a proud member of the Kingsguard and swore to me one drunken night that the bachelor life was for him," Tyrion replied.

"I have my reasons, may they forever be shrouded in mystery."

"Suit yourself, but take what I said seriously. I'd do my best not to get on the wrong side of your fiancée."

Jaime laughed, "I'll handle her."

**/*0*/**

Meidani felt trapped. Trapped by the castle walls, trapped by her impending marriage, but at the moment she felt most of all trapped by her infernal gown. It was another purple one, but a dark violet this time indeed of light mauve. The long sleeves trailed ridiculously, and the layers of skirt wrapped around her legs, impeding her ability to walk. The bodice was done up far too tightly, and she felt like she could only just breath in it. It had taken at least fifteen minutes of haggling with her maids to get it loosened further, but that did not do much overall. Her long hair had been styled in such a way that she was worried it might make her head top over, and she missed having the long strands falling down her back. She had been given jewellery of diamonds and amethysts to wear, and the felt like chains that were dragging her down.

"You look beautiful miss," Reana praised.

"Like a princess," Penelope added.

"I feel like an animal put on show," Meidani grumbled.

"Don't say that now, it will be okay. Try to enjoy yourself tonight, if you can," Reana encouraged.

"That would be an impressive act on my part," Meidani muttered.

"Hey now," Penelope pulled up her chin, "Stand tall miss, don't look down at your feet."

"It won't last too long," Reana assured, "It will be over before you know it."

"Yes, and then I will be waking up tomorrow on my wedding day," Meidani sighed glumly.

She was late, due to her procrastination and talk with Tyrion, and clearly it had been noted. For when she jerked open her door, Jaime was walking down the corridor towards her. Her stomach fell, couldn't they have sent anyone else to fetch her? Anyone? She'd have preferred Tyrion, even though he had severely pissed her off earlier.

"There you are, we were wondering where you had gotten too. And m ay I say that you look beautiful little dragon," Jaime called out; looking her over.

"No you may not," she retorted back, "And I was just on my way now, I don't need an escort."  
>"So you know your way around Casterly Rock perfectly, and need no help at all to find the banquet hall?" Jaime inquired.<p>

Meidani glared full force at him, hating that he was right.

"Fine then," she snapped; and began walking in the direction he had just come from.

He caught up to her, and offered her his arm. When she ignored it, she grabbed her hand, and forcefully placed it in the crook of his arm; holding it in place when she tried to remove it.

"We are to be married tomorrow, and you will act in an appropriate manner. Understood?"

Meidani didn't reply to him, and stayed silent throughout the whole walk. When they reached the hall, everyone was already eating and drinking. Meidani's expression soured when Jaime led her to her seat. It was in-between him and Tyrion, two of the people she least wanted to talk to. As a result she simply did not talk, and kept her expression remote during the feast. At some point lord Tywin got up, and began making a speech. Meidani tuned most of it out and wasn't paying attention to the goings on of the party. But the Jaime reached out a hand and took hers, she pulled away, but he tried again. Once more she pulled away, and folder her hands in her lap. A frown creased his forehead, and he grabbed her hand and wrestled it into his grasp. Linking his fingers through hers and grasping tightly so that she could not pull away a third time. She then started listening to Tywin as a way to stop noticing Jaime's grip on her hand; unfortunately it was just the end of his speech.  
>"And my son is to be married, a most joyous occasion. I'm sure that this union will bring great happiness to my family, as the wedding of my daughter did." He sat back down after that.<p>

Meidani couldn't take anymore. The stifling room, the crowds of people, the feel of her hand held in Jaime's. The world started to turn, she couldn't handle anymore.

"Uh, Jaime, I think your bride is about to faint," Tyrion noted dryly.

Meidani decided that his idea seemed like a good one. And promptly lost consciousness.

Right-i-o, chapter 9 be done! And chapter 10 be one the way soon :D  
>Hoe that you enjoyed it, don't forget to review!<p> 


	10. In Preparation

**Chapter 10! Started while I wait for the math tutorial which is apparently an hour later than I thought it was O.O I fail… Oh well! Not looking forward to that exam… or English… I hate English, but I love writing. What an odd thing. Anyway, enough about me. And more about Meidani!  
>Thanks for reviewing: alternativecouture, Dark Alana, Garota Anonima<br>Enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 10: In Preparation

Meidani had no recollection of what had happened after she had fainted during the feast. All she did know what that she woke up back in her bed, and had been changed into her night dress. Her bolted into an upright position, but immediately fell back to the bed at the rushing sensation this gave her head. What had happened? She tried vainly to remember, straining her brain. She could recall the sensation of being ill. The crowded atmosphere, loud voices, strong smells, and contact with Jaime all rushed back to her. She once more received that sick feeling, and she fought to retain hr calm. Constantly reminding herself that she was okay now, she was back in her room, and she was alone. She gazed around the room, but avoided looking at the place where her dress was hung. It was quite bare, only a hanging of the golden lion of House Lannister; rampant on a field of blood red. How fitting.

She got out of bed slowly and carefully, not wanting to get that sense of vertigo again. She drifted lazily over to the window, and looked out at the water. The sun was shining, and the blue of the ocean seemed like some kind of immense sapphire. It was beautiful, and a sense of calm peace stole over her. But then she cast her eyes downwards, and her heart went cold. They were setting up for her wedding. She and Jaime would be married outside by the light of the setting sun, and the feast would also take place in the outdoors. She looked away, and gazed once more at the water. She spied the cliffs near Casterly Rock, and took in the distance from them to the water. Were those the ones that Jaime had leapt from? And somehow he had managed to survive. Meidani found herself wanted to try her luck, and secretly hoped that it would fail. But knew that she would not be allowed to leave the castle until the wedding was over. Jaime had made sure of that.

Since she had most of the day free, she pulled on a simple dress and decided to walk around the castle. If she could not leave it, then she could at least explore within its bounds. It was massive, and she found that she hardly saw anyone. All of the servants must be outside to get everything ready for their lord's big day. She found an indoor garden of sorts, but everything was expertly carved out of stone. If not for their colour, Meidani would have thought that flowers and trees to be real. But of course they were rough and cold to the touch, and soon she felt the sense that she was walking through a haunted place. She quickly left the strange garden behind; shivering as she made her way back to the entrance.

After some more wondering, she came across another room that shocked her. It was a gallery of some kind, full of portraits of past Lannisters, and all framed in shining gold. Tyrion, Cersei and Jaime were all next to one another at the front of the room; and she avoided their portraits. As she walked around the room, she found similarities between all of them. Well, they were all family of course. The blonde hair and green eyes seemed to be a common trait amongst the family, but once in a while there was a dark hair Lannister born. She guessed that this would commonly be after the union of a Lannister with a dark haired man or woman. She saw one such girl, Kyrrian Lannister, and her hair was raven black; but she had eyes of the most startling blue, like polished stones they shove even in their captured state. Something about them looked familiar, and Meidani was oddly reminded of her mother. She moved onto the next portrait, the girl's father, and immediately knew why. The man had an arrogant smirk on his face, like most Lannisters, and name engraved on the gold beneath his plaque was Janduin Lannister. The man that, according to Jaime, Lynessa Cairhien had fallen in love with; and then married. Meidani felt suddenly sick, seeing Janduin's expression reminded her too much of Jaime, and she felt the sudden urge to run from the room.

She complied with this want, and dashed out as quickly as she could. It seemed that every room in this castle would make her sick, or perhaps that had something to do with the people whom the castle belonged to. She raced down the corridors, and eventually turned into a great room. It was massive, but empty. She could hear the loud roaring of the ocean, it sounded as if it was crashing against the rocks right underneath her feet. She let the noise of the ocean envelop her, and slowly her calm was restored. Unfortunately the one person who could tear it to shreds so easily soon made their existence known.

"Isn't it meant to be bad luck for the bride to see the groom on the wedding day?" Jaime joked.

Meidani stiffened, but didn't turn around, "Then why don't you go away?"

"I was here first."

She jumped, she hadn't heard him getting closer, and hearing his voice from practically right next to her startled her greatly.

"Then by all means, feel free to leave first," she shot back.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired; and the sudden topic change left Meidani speechless for a moment.

"Angry, scared, vengeful and tired," she listed.

"I would have thought you'd have gotten plenty of sleep last night after your little faint, do you remember anything that happened after that?"

"No, I just woke up this morning. Nightmares as usual keep me from sleep, too bad that their antagonist keep following me around when I'm awake."

"Hmm, nightmares are bad. Therefore the antagonist of a nightmare must be good."

"You have a strange logic Lannister, strange and false," she shot back.

"It's a shame that you can't seem to stop fighting, perhaps things would be better if you did."

"Why would I stop fighting a monster like you?"

He clenched his jaw, and his lips pressed together in a firm line. He looked pissed off. Funny, that comment had never gotten this reaction before. He said nothing, but simply strode from the room. Meidani was puzzled, he certainly had some pretty big problems.

"He has an easily wounded pride my brother does," Tyrion Lannister called out.

"Seven hells," Meidani swore, "Do you Lannisters just lurk everywhere around here?"

"Actually, we were conversing before you barged in. Then he went to talk to you, and I decided to hang around," Tyrion replied, "It isn't my fault that you didn't turn around and see me."

"Look, I'm not going to deal with any more of your speeches Tyrion."

"No speeches will be given then. But I will say one thing; I think you may have injured my brother's large pride just then."

"Ha, good thing then. It needs deflating."

"Considering you don't remember the events after you fell asleep at your own welcome feast, let me inform you of them. You were carried back to your room by my brother, as any fiancée should do for his bride. But according to him, as he carried you, you cried out in your sleep; and clung to him like a lifeline. His words not mine by the way. And I think that your little retorts just now shattered any illusions that you might have forgiven him."

"Forgiven him?" Meidani repeated incredulously, "After what he did that man deserves no forgiveness, and nor shall he receive it. That he thinks he should have it, shows his arrogance."

Meidani swept from the room them, fighting down a gagging sensation. She decided that it was indeed to inhabitants of Casterly Rock that made her sick, not the place itself. She made it back to her room, and found her maids waiting for her.

"I want a bath. And made the water boiling," she commanded.

"Miss, that is far too hot!" Reana protested.

"Just do it, you kwon that I can stand the heat," Meidani snapped.

She wanted to purge the touch of Jaime from her. She wished that she could feel the heat, and that the water would burn her to death. But as it was, she would have to make do with knowing that it was enough to sear him from her skin. Her maids winced when she lowered herself into the water, but Meidani felt nothing. She literally was numb to everything, everything that had happened to her flashed through her mind, and her was numb. But as time passed, that numbness was transformed. It slowly turned into a rearing anger, the likes of which she had never felt before. She did not let it show though, and tried to keep her face a blank mask. She could do nothing about her eyes though, and they flashed violet fire out at the world. Her maids flinched back when she looked at them, even though this emotion wasn't' directed at them, there was no way that Meidani could recall it back into her. But time passed, and her water cooled, as did her anger. She was now back to her normal self, and calmly climbed out from the water.

"Miss, are you okay?" Penelope asked.

"Yes, thank you," Meidani replied.

No apologies were given, and no questions were asked. They wordlessly began to prepare Meidani for her wedding. The white gown was placed over her, winking all over with small diamonds sewn into the fabric. The full skirt fell to the floor in graceful waves, and the long sleeves trailed almost to the floor. It did not have a train, and Meidani was glad, she would surely have tripped otherwise. A diamond necklace was placed upon her, and it felt like a collar that was slowly weighing her down and choking her. Her long hair was pulled back from her face, and parts of it arranged in an ornate pattern on the back of her head. The rest flowed down her back like a pale river, having straight as a skein of silk cloth. When they were done, her maids tipped her face towards the mirror. And Meidani did not recognise herself. In the white gown, with her pale hair and skin she looked like some kind of wan ghost; lost eyes speaking of being cast adrift in the world.

"I look like some kind of dead thing," she noted.

"No!" Reana protested.

"Miss, you look like the moon," Penelope praised, "Radiant."

"Funny, a lump of rock is exactly what I feel like at the moment as well," Meidani said.

Before her maids could further protest, a knock at the door was heard. Meidani hoped to the gods that it wasn't going to be a Lannister, and held her breath as Penelope went to answer it. She exhaled in relief when she saw that it was just Wyston, the old Septon who had been called to Casterly Rock to marry her and Jaime. She had only seen him briefly at the feast, but recognised him from his robes.

"Septon Wyston," she greeted.

"Hello my dear, how are you feeling?" he inquired.

"Just fine thank you," she guessed that he meant after last night, "But this is not what I had in mind for my wedding."

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Not Jaime Lannister," Meidani muttered.

"Oh," the old man was clearly made awkward by her comment.

"To what do I owe this visit to?" she inquired.

"Well, as you don't have any family of your own, you need to appoint someone to walk you to your future husband. I had assumed that it had already been dealt with, but only heard today that it was not so. Who do you choose my dear?"

"I can have anyone?" Meidani clarified.

"Yes, in the absence of a family member then the bride may have her choice of escorts," he replied.

"Then I pick Reana and Penelope," Meidani said.

Her maids were clearly as shocked as the Septon at her choice. Their jaws dropped open.

"Err, are you sure my girl?" he asked.

"Perfectly."

"Very well then," the old man turned and left.

"Miss, are you sure?" Reana asked.

"We are only maids," Penelope added.

"I am sure. You two are the only people here who I actually feel comfortable with. I'd rather have you guys than anyone else," Meidani replied; the fact that they spied for the Lannisters was never spoken between them, she suspected that they told them less now though.

"But we don't have the appropriate clothing miss," Penelope pointed out.

"You're both around the same size as me, use mine. I have a far too large wardrobe as it is," Meidani invited.

"Are you sure miss?" Reana inquired again.

"Yes, now go and get dressed."

They ran off to do as she said; clearly happy to have been chosen, now that they were sure that she really did want them there. She smiled a small smile in spite of everything. But it fell from her face when she made her way over to her bed, and saw what had been placed upon it. During the ceremony she had to wear a cloak with her House symbol upon it, and she had known that they would use the three headed dragon of House Targaryen; but she still wished that they hadn't. It felt like a betrayal to her mother whenever she was forced to admit the other half of her parentage. And doing it in as obvious a way as this, it hurt.

Penelope and Reana entered the room again, they had dressed in two of her more formal gowns, and Reana carried a bundle in her arms.

"We knew that they would want you to wear the Targaryen symbol and colours," Penelope said, "So we made you alternative."

"If you put it on underneath, they won't' notice and you can remove the other one once it's too late for them to do anything," Reana added.

Then she swept out the bundle, and Meidani nearly laughed out loud. It was another cloak, but with the silver oak of House Cairhien on a background of dark evergreen. She walked over and ran her hands over the soft fabric. In one smooth motion she placed it around her shoulders and fastened the golden clasps shut. She may be forced to get married today, but at least she could do it with the symbol of her true House.

**Okay, I'll try to have the next chapter up soon!  
>Reviews? I live off them, no joke :P<br>Thank you all for reading!**


	11. That Fateful Day

**WARNING! This wedding is gonna be just a mash up of various things that I just felt like having. It doesn't belong to anything, it is just bits of various things.  
>Anyway, enjoy the chapter!<br>Thanks for reviewing: Anissa, Dark Alana, Garota Anoima**

Chapter 11: That Fateful Day

There was a massive crowd assembled out on what was known as the Water Ledge. It was a part of Casterly Rock that jutted out over the ocean, and it was quite a beautiful place under the light of the nearly setting sun. But Meidani would rather have been in a cold dungeon, never to see the light of day again, then go through what she was about to. She could see him above the heads of the seated guests, standing tall and proud, and matching arrogant expression with his father who stood beside him. Tyrion was the only Lannister whom she had seen go without this, oh he could Pull it up when he wanted, but most of the time he seemed just a quiet scholar. If they hadn't had the talks that they had yesterday and today, she might have liked the dwarf. As it is, his way of giving information was perhaps among the more blunt and cruel methods.

Guards had walked her and her maids down to the place where she would start her procession, but she was still not in view of the crowd. They were alone though, and Meidani turned to them to check if they thought it was okay. She received nods of confirmation from both girls, and reached up to the clasps of her cloak. When the fanfare the announced her presence started up, she slipped off her top cloak and let it fall to the ground in a heap. The hated Targaryen red and black was discarded as she began her walk towards the bane of her existence. She felt lighter now, and shedding the weight of the second cloak had nothing to do with it. Walking under her true colours of silver and green, she felt stronger, and more able to face what was to come. There were a few intakes of breath as she walked, and she guessed that it was due to her showing the Cairhien colours as opposed to the Targaryen. But she held her head high, and stared straight down the path which she had to walk.

Jaime was staring at her, and she felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze. But she matched him look for look, and dared him to challenge her. She saw his jaw clench a little when he noticed her change of cloak, but like everyone else he could not say something during the middle of the ceremony. Her victory was small, but it still made Meidani feel a little better knowing that she at least had that. Her maids walked on either side of her, and she felt marginally safer in-between them. But their presence would have to depart sometime, and it came all too soon. Then she had to step up alone, and stand in front of Septon Wyston, facing Jaime. There was anger in his expression, but she met his stare boldly, anger starting to kindle within her as well. His gaze flickered to her cloak for a moment, as if letting her know his disapproval, but she merely smirked at him in reply.

Wyston cleared his throat, a signal for everyone to stop talking and let the ceremony begin. Meidani did hear one final loud whisper though.

"I thought she was a Targaryen bastard, why would he marry her?"

The woman who had been talking immediately realised the silence that followed in wake of her comment. A fiery blush spread its way up her face, and she quickly shut her mouth. Jaime shot a glare of green ice at her, and Meidani swore she saw the woman flinch. Really, his glares weren't _that_ bad. But when he turned back to her, the expression had not lifted, and Meidani found out that she hadn't seen a true Lannister glare until that moment. She did not flinch however, as instead of cowing her, the glare had made her angry. As if in retaliation, her earlier anger sprang back into sudden life, and returning fire shot from her violet eyes. The cold and angry stares of the bride and groom seemed to unsettle the old Septon for a moment, for he floundered about for the words.

"Uh, will the bride and groom please turn to face one another."

Only after he'd said the traditional opening, did he realise that they already were. And he then proceeded to promptly move on to the next part of the ceremony.

"Please extend both your hands, so that the ceremonial ribbon may bind them together."

When Meidani was apparently too slow with this act, Jaime reached to and grabber her hands in his own. Linking them together so that she could not pull away. The ribbons were supposed to match the cloaks of the bride and groom, and while Jaime's fit his golden lion on red; Meidani's were still the black and red for House Targaryen. The Septon once more looked rather awkward, and unsure of what to do.

"Just get on with it," Jaime commanded; then whispered low to Meidani, "You've really made a mess of things little dragon."

"That was the plan," Meidani whispered back.

The ribbons were bound around their joint hands, as a symbol of them joining together as one. Things couldn't be further from the truth, to Meidani they were binding ropes to hold her prisoner. Their bright colours shone against her pale skin, well, what little of it hadn't been eclipsed by Jaime's larger hands. She let her anger and hatred bleed from her eyes, focusing it all at him. Something flickered in his own expression, but it died away as soon as the Septon began speaking once more.

"Does anyone here today know a reason that Jaime Lannister and Meidani Cairhien should not be joined together by the union of marriage; if they do, speak now."

No one raised a hand or stood in their seats, although Meidani guessed that there were plenty of people who weren't happy that he was marrying 'a Targaryen bastard'. She wished that they would speak up. She tried to raise her hands to speak, but they were bound to Jaime's and he held them down easily. She opened her mouth to say words, but he squeezed her hands brutally to silence her. She would probably have bruises later. The moment came and went, without anyone saying a word. Meidani was again given the mental image of a door closing on her, the light slowly being shut out.

"Jaime Lannister, son of Lord Tywin Lannister and Joana Lannister, Heir of House Lannister and Casterly Rock," Wyston intoned, "Do you swear upon the great lion of your House, that you will treasure your wife and care for her above all others?"

"I swear."

"And do you swear to guard her against all forms of harm?"

"I swear."

"And do you swear to obey her and she shall obey you?"  
>"I swear."<p>

"And do you swear to love her with all of your heart?"

"I swear."

There had not been a single wavering of Jaime's voice as he confidently swore the four scared marriage oaths upon the sign of his House. She had expected it on the last one, but his lies had been perfect, no shred of doubt in his strong voice. All too soon it was Meidani's turn.

"Meidani Cairhien, daughter of Aerys Targaryen and Penelope Cairhien, Heir of House Cairhien."

Wyston spoke the words smoothly, but there was the missing part at the end. As the last of her House, she should be the one to inherit. But there was nothing left of the Cairhiens, they're land had been seized and their castles pulled down. They were nothing but a name, and soon that to would be forgotten. While the ribbons around her hands may be Targaryen, Meidani was grateful that the Septon had continued to refer to her House as being House Cairhien.

"Do you swear upon the great oak of your House, that you will treasure your husband and care for him above all others?"

Meidani gulped, "I swear."

"And do you swear to guard him against all forms of harm?"

"I - I swear." She stammered that time

"And do you swear to obey him and he shall obey you?"  
>"I swear." She had to choke that one out.<p>

"And do you swear to love him with all of your heart?"

Meidani's throat closed, she couldn't do it. How could she swear that last oath? The silence drew out as she did not answer. Jaime forced her to look up at him, and then shot a meaningful glance to where her maids were stationed. Ice formed in the pit of her stomach. She should never have chosen them to be her escorts, she should have just done this alone. By having them with her, she had shown that she cared for them to some degree. And Jaime had noticed. He would use this against her. His threat was clear, she had to finish the oath, or he would have them killed.

"I swear." Her words came out as more of a breath than a whisper.

But Wyston still heard it, and therefore it still counted.

"As a token of your love, you may kiss your bride," he told Jaime.

Jaime smirked as he leaned forward, "You can't run anymore little dragon."

Meidani thought that even the crowds were shocked. A kiss during a wedding was supposed to be soft and sweet, an actual token of love and affection. Jaime's kiss was the opposite, a powerful kiss of ownership, brutal even. Any dreams Meidani might have had about a fairytale wedding with her knight in shining armour vanished. Popped out of existence like some fragile bubble. Reality took its place, there was no love in the world. It was all just an illusion to keep young children warm at night, as they dreamed of things that they didn't know would never be. A sweet tale to cover the sourness of true life. A falsehood or colour over the dismal grey. She knew now what was real and what was not. The nightmares were real, the dreams a fantasy. There were no knights in shining armour anymore, just dark men like Jaime. He eventually pulled away from her, and she could not raise her hands to wipe the traces of him from her mouth. His trademark smirk was in place, but her own expression was remote. Confusion crossed his face for a brief moment, but the ceremony was not done with yet.

Wyston untied the ribbons from their hands, and Meidani quickly drew hers to her sides, wiping them on her dress. The Targaryen colours were placed in a small fire, and the flared up with bright light for a split second, then collapsed into ashes. It was strange to see the dragon's colours on fire, but Meidani watched it with a detachment she hadn't felt before. The red and gold ribbons that represented House Lannister, were passed to Jaime. He stepped forward, and Meidani couldn't help the flinching motion she made, incurring a flash of annoyance from him. He came closer, and she held herself still, not even breathing. He wound the ribbons into her pale hair, where they stood out in stark contrast. It was a sign of her new belonging to House Lannister, and she swore that she could feel the ribbons crawling in her hair like worms. Jaime let his hands trail down her neck once he was finished, and she shuddered delicately.

"I suggest you get used to my touch little dragon," he whispered.

"Or I could suggest that you stop touching me," she replied.

"Oh, I don't think that that's likely to happen. Especially considering how you look tonight."

She shivered as he cast a glance down her entire form.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I want to," was all that he replied to her ambiguous question.

"And now we have the final part of this marriage," Wyston announced, "The exchange of the cloaks."

Penelope and Reana stepped forwards; this was their other part in the ceremony.

"Meidani Cairhien, you shall now shed your cloak, and identity of your former House," he intoned.

Her maids carefully undid the claps holding the comforting green around her shoulders, and the material fell to the floor in a heap. Tyrion passed Jaime a folded bundle of red cloth. He unfurled it, and exposed the rampant golden lion emblazed upon the red. He stepped towards her once more, and swept the cloak around her shoulders. Doing up the golden clasps quickly.

"With the exchange of the silver oak for the golden lion, you are Meidani Cairhien no more. Meidani Lannister, I now pronounce you and Jaime Lannister, married under the eyes of the Seven. May all of their blessings accompany you in your marriage."

That was it, there would be no turning back now. It was done, and there was nothing that Meidani could do to make it undone. A great cheer rose up from the crowds, but it sounded like only a faint echo to her. The world as rushing away, fading with the light of the sun. Nothing could be done to stop it now, the door had closed. And Meidani was left alone in the dark.

Jaime looked down at his new wife, smirking in triumph that he had finally won. She was his, and now perhaps he could tame that rebellious spirit of hers. Something changed though, as he looked into her eyes. They still held their violet light, as if she shone from the inside out. But as he watched, the light grew dimmer and dimmer, fading away like the setting sun. The next time she looked up at him, it seemed as if there was nothing there. In that moment he knew, he did not have to tame her rebellious spirit. For that spirit had just been extinguished, and now there was only numbness in her gaze. She was gone, the fire dead.

**:( Don't worry, things will work out! Somehow…..  
>Review and tell me what you think!<br>Don't' forget about the Game Of Thrones Christmas Awards!**


	12. The Night That Follows

**Chapter 12!  
>Thanks to reviewer: Dark Alana<strong>

Chapter 12: The Night That Follows

Once the ceremony was done, Meidani would be presented as an official member of the family to her new House. Tywin gave her a hug, Cersei to, embraced her sister and Tyrion clasped her hand. Meidani felt none of it. Did not notice Tywin's forced smile as he embraced his new daughter, did not see the cold glare from Cersei, and the strange look the Tyrion gave her also went unnoticed. It was as if she was detached from the world somehow. Everything was still happening, but she was somehow only going on autopilot. The red cloak weighed heavily on her shoulders, she felt as if it were somehow dragging her down. Its bright colour, and the ribbons in her hair, stood out from her pale skin and white gown. She looked like some fragile white rose, which had been splattered with blood to mar its purity. She was looking at the world through a thick pane of glass. She could see everything with perfect clarity, but she could only hear distorted noise, and not reach out and touch the world. A single thought kept echoing through her head: _It's over, it's all over. There is no point anymore. Why fight a battle that you've already lost. Why fight at all. What would it do but create more reasons for more fighting._

The words repeated themselves over and over again inside of her mind. But something caused the glass to shatter, and the world came into alarming reality. Looking down she saw that Jaime had linking his hand through hers, and was leading her towards the head table out of all the ones lined up for the feast. She frowned, and tried to take her hand back, but Jaime kept a hold of it. She normally would have just yanked it out of his grasp, no matter what, but that internal voice stopped her. _What's the point? He'll just take it back again, might as well just go along with it._ And so she simply did as the internal voice bid her, and went along. He seemed surprised, looking down at her with puzzlement. She stared blankly back at him, and he was the first one to drop his gaze from hers. They took their places at the centre of the table. Tonight Lord Tywin and King Robert did not have the priority of most important guest, the newlywed couple did.

Before the feast could begin, there was the matter of giving gifts. Considering the number of guest present, Meidani could not see this as being a fast process. But it was heavily shortened when Lord Tywin announced that the gifts of most guests would be conveyed to the couple later, and that only certain guests would be handing them directly to Meidani and Jaime. The first was from the King.

"I have nothing for the Targaryen," he announced; Meidani was not surprised or insulted, "But I have an offer for you Ser Jaime. If you wish it, you can remain an unofficial member of the Kingsguard. You're a good fighter, I can still use you."

Jaime inclined his head, "I would be honoured your grace."

Cersei stood next, and summoned one of her servants to her. The Queen took a small wooden box from the girl, and walked up to Jaime and Meidani. She opened the box, and nestled within lay two rings. They make was similar, but one was clearly made for a man; a golden band holding a black stone. While the other was a far more delicate band of silver; holding a pale purple stone.

"A symbol of your new union together," she said.

She took the gold and black ring, and slipped it onto her brother's finger. For a moment they clasped hands affectionately, then Cersei turned to Meidani. She took the silver and purple ring, and slid it easily and quickly onto Meidani's finger. Meidani knew that the woman didn't like her, so the mild expression of distaste which crossed her face did not come as a surprise. Meidani examined the ring on her finger, and despite herself she found that she rather liked how the silver looked against her hand, and how the purple gemstone sparkled in the lamplight.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome, we are sisters now after all," Cersei replied; then swanned her way back to her seat.

Tywin Lannister stepped up next and beckoned a pair of servants forwards; they carried a large box between them. He motioned for the lid to be removed, and within lay a stone carving of a lion.

"My father game this to me when I married your mother, and his father had given it to him at his own wedding."

"Thank you father," Jaime said.

"It is more than it seems," Tywin whispered; stepping closer to the pair, "In times when danger was great, and House Lannister was targeted, Symon Lannister had this carved. It was to act as a sort of symbol, if he could not find his wife he would look for the carving. If it had been moved from its original position to a certain place, he knew that she was jut out somewhere. But if it hadn't moved, then he knew that she had been taken. And the same worked for his wife with him."

"I'm sure it will come in great use," Jaime said to his father.

Tywin took his seat, and Tyrion came towards them.

Jaime laughed when he saw what his brother carried, "Of course little brother, would I expect any other form of gift from you?"

"Perhaps you might learn something," Tyrion said, "For you dear brother, books of old ballads; speaking of love and how to earn it. I suggest you start studying. And for the lovely bride, adventure tales. From the histories of all the Great Houses of Westeros."

"Are you sure you didn't get them mixed up?" Jaime joked.

"Quite sure," Tyrion replied, "Enjoy them, and all the best for your future together."

An old man dressed in the uniform of the Kingsguard stepped forward next.

"Ser Barristan," Jaime acknowledged.

"Ser Jaime," Barristan replied, "I have a gift." He gestured, and a servant carried something forwards to him, he unwrapped the long bundle and pulled out a gleaming sword, "The blade is Valyrian steel, and the hilt dragonbone. May it serve you well."

He carefully sheathed the sword and handed it delicately to Jaime.

"Thank you Ser Barristan, I will use it well," Jaime said.

"And for the lady." Ser Barristan pulled out an ornate dagger from and silver sheath, "If you ever need to defend yourself, this also had a blade of Valyrian steel and handle of dragonbone. It will protect you if you ever require its aid."

"Thank you Ser Barristan," Meidani took the blade gingerly.

He bowed, and then went back to his place at a table further down. No one else would be handing their gifts to the bride and groom personally, so the feast began. Jaime had the blade taken from Meidani, and placed with the other gifts. No doubts fearful that she might get ideas about how to use it against herself. But those thoughts had already crossed her mind, and been rejected. Her conversation with Reana while they had been travelling to Casterly Rock had popped into her head, and also her utter numbness didn't merit enough desire to do anything; let alone commit suicide in the middle of a wedding feast.

The courses were many, and the food rich, but Meidani hardly touched it. Not feeling the need for anything, and in fact she was feeling slightly sick. But the outside sea air prevented her from getting light headed enough to faint. A shame, it would have been a good way to get out of enduring the rest of the night. Conversation flowed between many people, but Meidani stayed out of it all. She had Tywin Lannister on one side, and Jaime on the other; not her first options for talking to on either count. Jaime turned to her at one point during the meal though.

"My dear, you are awfully silent tonight," he noted.

"Do I have any reason to talk?" she inquired.

"That's never stepped you from speaking out before," he retaliated.

She sighed, "I don't care alright. Just leave me alone. You have what you want, don't force me to pretend that I'm some happy bride."

"Oh, I assure you my dear. The wedding was only the small side of what I wanted."

"Don't talk to me," she commanded; and turned away from him.

For once he did not insist upon pestering her. And she went the rest of the meal in silence. But even once the feast was done with the festivities were not over, there was still the dancing to go. Meidani managed to stay out of it first, but watched as the women and men twirled around; bright clothing making them look like scraps of colour in the wind. She unconsciously started swaying to the music, and it wasn't long before her maids descended upon her. Giggling hysterically, they dragged her up and threw her into the dance. She wasn't sure where she was at first, but then was in the arms of a strange young man.

"Lady Lannister," he greeted.

"It's Meidani," she corrected.

"Well the Meidani, do you know what this is?"

"Erm, what are you talking about?"

"The dance, it is a best on the grooms part. To see how long he can keep his patience while watching his bride dance with other men. How long do you think my cousin Jaime will last? I'm Lancel by the way."

"Nice to meet you Lancel," she replied.

The boy laughed, "It seems that my cousin cannot even last out one dance."

Jaime came through the crowd towards them, and Lancel politely stepped away from Meidani so that his cousin could take him place.

"Nice to meet you cousin," he called; then ducked away in the crowd.

"Jaime! Couldn't you even let the rest of us have a dance with your lovely bride," someone called out.

"Not a chance, she's not leaving my side," Jaime replied; tightening his grip on Meidani's waist.

While the gesture might look like any groom's protectiveness over his bride, to Meidani it felt like just another show of his ownership of her. She tried to pull away from him.

"It seems that your bride might have other ideas," the man joked.

Jaime's response was to ignore the man and wrap both of his arms around Meidani's waist; drawing her closer.

"I'd stop that if I were you," he said.

"You can't make me. Let me go," she commanded.

"Oh I don't think so. I was quite truthful when I said that you are not leaving my side tonight."

For a brief moment Meidani thought of fighting back, but the inner voice advised against it. _It would be silly, in the middle of a crowd? What do you hope to achieve?_ So she shut her mouth, and did nothing. If the change in her temperament was a shock to Jaime, he didn't show it. But simply began dancing with her amongst the crowd. People watched the couple twirl around; he tall and blonde, with flashing green eyes. She, shorter and pale of hair; with her strange violet eyes gazing around her surroundings.

"Look at them, don't they just look perfect together?"

"I think that is it quite a good match, despite her… interesting heritage."

"They make a fine couple, I'm sure that they will go well in life together."

Meidani heard these whispers from many people as she passed them by. They clearly could not see the lack of light in her eyes, or the bland detachment that was the only expression upon her face. If they could, then perhaps they would not say such things. Or maybe they did, but chose to ignore it for their own fantasies. Silly people, better to see the horrible reality, then walk blindly in a dream. The dancing continued for some time, but like all things it would have to come to an end.

Jaime took her hand, and pulled her after him as he made his way from the crowd. Meidani went along without resisting, mind not fully inhabiting her body at that moment. People pointed and whispered as they walked past, but she did not notice any of this. She had distanced herself from the world during the dancing, so as not to allow herself to think that she was going along in Jaime's arms. But as they walked, she slowly returned, and realised what this incurred. Panic seized her, and she started struggling against Jaime.

He gave a surprised grunt when she punched him in the side, "I was wondering how long you were going to remain nice and docile for."  
>"Let go of me you bastard," she hissed.<p>

He sighed, "You've called me that before, doesn't it seem rather hypocritical to you?"

Meidani wished that she had come back to herself sooner, for they were already near his room. And it wasn't hard for him to drag her forwards a few more paces and open the door. She dug her heels into the stone floor as much as she could, and resisted him. But she was weak from her earlier mental beating up of herself, and it was a small task for him to pick her up and throw her onto the bed. She scrambled away, and stood against the wall, watching him wearily as he made his slow way over to her.

"What's the point little dragon? You know that you can't win this battle," he said.

And Meidani deflated. The inner voice returned, _Stop, it's useless. It's not going to get you anything if you fight, except more pain._ She sagged against the wall, and Jaime smirked in triumph. She did nothing as she unclasped her cloak and pulled off her gown, she did nothing when he removed his own clothing, and she did nothing still when he pulled her over to the bed with him. Her face was an empty mask, and no expression flitted across it when he thrust into her. It did not hurt as much as the first time, but the humiliation was worse. She did not feel any of that though, she did not feel anything. The only reaction that Jaime saw as he took her, was a single tear that crept down from her blank eyes.

**Yeesh, I hate myself.  
>I'll try to have the next chapter up soon!<br>Reviews? I love them so :D**


	13. Greyscale

**Okay, sorry that the chapter's a bit late today! I overslept... so I missed my morning writing session :/  
>No matter, it is here! I hope you guys enjoy it :D<br>Thanks for reviewing: Anissa, Dark Alana, Garota Anoima**

Chapter 13: Greyscale

After the wedding they did not stay at Casterly Rock for long. Three days after the ceremony and night that had seen an end to Meidani, they were once more on the road to King's Landing. Their party had increased somewhat, as Tyrion had decided to join them, and Jaime's cousin Lancel had been given the position of Robert's squire. The journey passed Meidani by in a most uneventful manner, nothing out of the ordinary happened and nothing happened to concern her at all. The only change from the journey to Casterly Rock was that she now had to share a tent with Jaime. And every night she delayed going to bed for as long as she could, for every night he took her again. She learned to blot out the pain, she learned to detach herself from her body and just make sure that it passed quickly. Jaime constantly seemed frustrated by her lack of reaction to him, and he got angrier each night. Each night once he was finished, Meidani would curl up into a small ball, but she would get next to no sleep with him beside her. Dark circles beneath her eyes were now the only colour on her pale face.

Her days had changed a little bit more though. She still rode Lynessa, but now she had the company of her maids on either side of her. She was glad of this, they helped to alleviate some of the constant pressure she felt pushing her down. But she had more company now than she had on the way to Casterly Rock. Tyrion often made his presence known, and tried conversing with her daily. Lancel too rode with his new cousin, and was always brimming with boyish excitement about his new role. Meidani hardly processed any of this tough, she simply gave answers automatically, not really hearing the question. Which was noticed at some point by Tyrion, when she replied 'yes' after he asked something.

"Are you quite alright?" he inquired.

"Yes," she replied again.

"Are you sure? Because you just replied 'yes' when I asked you if you thought the sky was red today."

Meidani looked up at the clear _blue_ sky, mild surprise settled on her.

"My mistake."

Tyrion quirked a brow, "If you don't mind my saying so, you seen rather out of sorts. What happened to the fiery girl who argued with me at Casterly Rock?"

"She died," Meidani replied hollowly, "Your brother killed her."  
>"Yes, he's rather interesting my brother is," Tyrion noted, "For instance, he at first told me of his desire to tame you. But now he complains that there is something wrong with you because you no longer fight back. Some men just don't know what they want."<p>

"Does this conversation have a purpose?" Meidani asked; growing bored.

"I am just having idle conversation. You'd be surprised at how hard it is to find someone to talk to when you are a dwarf. People seem to hold it against you."

"Why? What difference does it make?"

Tyrion smiled sadly, "Quite a lot I think you'll find. My family hates me, I don't try to deny it, they wish that I had never been born. Cersei blames me for our mother's death, as does my father. My subsequent dwarfism is a further sting to him, but thanks to his release from the Kingsguard Jaime is now once again my father's legal heir. Which pleases him to no end."

"Doesn't Jaime have an arrogant enough head already? Without this giving it even more fuel," Meidani said.

"He does rather, but I think that that is simply a Lannister family trait. He treats me like a brother though, the only member of my family that actually is perhaps fond of me."

"Do you always preach his virtues? It can't take very long."  
>"He's trying, you just haven't noticed," Tyrion said; without actually saying what in the seven hells Jaime was trying to do.<p>

Meidani ignored him after that, and slipped back within herself. The rest of the day passed by quickly, and they were expected to be back in King's Landing by tomorrow. She felt nothing about her arrival back in the capitol, it would not change anything. She remained within her tent that evening, not wanting to socialise and not really feeling all that hungry either. Her maids remained with her, despite her urging them to go out and get food for themselves. But she was glad of their company, she knew that they at least actually cared for her wellbeing. But perhaps a little too much.

"Miss, you must get something to eat!" Reana exclaimed, "You're getting thinner, almost as if you are wasting away."

"I'm not hungry, but you girls can go," Meidani replied.

"Please miss, just eat a little something," Penelope urged, "It's not good for you to skip as many meals as you do."

"Really, I am fine," Meidani assured, "Just tired that's all."

"We'll be back in King's Landing soon miss, then you can get some proper sleep in a real bed."

"Oh I doubt that the change of setting will help with my sleep," Meidani said.

Neither of them knew how to respond to that, it was an unsaid topic between them. They carried on in silence, helping her to change into her nightgown when she spoke her desire of retiring early. Reana frowned when she saw Meidani's body, but otherwise made no comment. Meidani started to feel more and more relaxed as Penelope brushed out her long hair, which still retained its soft waves from being kept in a braid all day. Moments like these she did not feel so dead inside, but rather she felt almost a sense of peace. It was shattered however, when Jaime entered the tent. Her heart dropped, she had been hoping to have time to herself before he stumbled back in.

"Leave us alone," he commanded her maids.

They got up, curtsied to him, and made their way out of the tent. Reana sent one last glance back at Meidani, almost willing her mistress to be strong. But then she left, and Meidani was left alone with her husband. He regarded her closely, green eyes not betraying any thought patterns. Meidani stared back, violet eyes not showing anything at all. He walked towards her, and reached out a hand to touch her face. She did nothing in response.

"Do you remember when you used to flinch away from my touch? When you said there would never be a time that you would not do so?" he inquired.

"What is your point?" she replied; using a deadpan voice.

"My point? My point little dragon is this; you used to shy away like some skittish filly if I so much as brushed your hand. Now even when I fuck you there is no response. What happened to you little dragon? Can I even call you that anymore?"

"I'd love it if you would stop," she said.

"You didn't answer my question."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me why," he commanded.

"You are the one who wanted me to stop fighting in the first place," she pointed out.

"But not like this."

Meidani shrugged, "What's the point? My line is dead. My half-siblings from a father that I hate are in exile across the Narrow Sea. And I am married to the man who murdered both my parents. I really have nothing in the world left to be bothered fighting for."

He studied her, "You really believe that don't you?"

"Can you find me a reason not to? What are you complaining about anyway? Isn't this the way you wanted me? No fight left, just going along with life because I don't have the strength to do anything else."

"When I said I didn't want you to fight me anymore, this was not what I meant as the alternative."

"Well what did you mean then? Do you even know?"

"You know, if you didn't sound so detached, this would be the closest we've ever come to one of our old fights since we got married," Jaime noted.

"You sound almost as if you miss it."

"Ah ha, did I detect slight sarcasm there? And who knows, maybe I do. Come to bed Meidani, I won't touch you tonight."

He pulled of his shirt and got into the bed, but Meidani still eyed him wearily. She did not trust his word one little bit. But she got in anyway, and curled up into her tight ball of defence. Jaime kept his promise though, and turned to face the opposite direction from her. He was soon deep asleep. Despite being free from his touch that night, Meidani did not uncurl herself, and she did not get anymore sleep than usual. In fact, she got even less.

**/*0*/**

They had arrived back in King's Landing over a week ago now, and Jaime had still given Meidani her space. She was suspicious of him, what did he want? He must want something, otherwise why would he leave her alone like this? Don't get her wrong, she was glad that she didn't have to endure him every night, but that didn't lessen her curiosity about his actions. Form what she knew of Jaime, he never gave up anything unless there was something better than he would gain from doing so. She did not see him much during the day either. Thanks to King Robert giving him a position in the Kingsguard, in spite of his married state, Jaime was often kept busy during the day. Meidani did nothing more than _exist_ most of the time.

One day she was aimlessly walking around the gardens, when Jaime's cousin Lancel came up to her.

"Hey Meidani, long time no see," he greeted.

"It's been two days," Meidani remarked dryly.

Lancel blushed, "Right, sorry. How have you been?"

Meidani shrugged, "Fairly average. And yourself?"

"I wish that I'd stayed at Casterly Rock," the young man admitted.

"Why is that?"

He gestured around, "This place, it's fantastic. But being squire to King Robert? Not quite as great as I had originally thought it would be."

"That's the way with many things in life. You expect things to turn out great, but then some other power comes along and ruins everything. Leaving nothing but broken ruins in its wake."

Lancel gave her a curious look, "It's not all bad. Just not what I had expected; all I do is stand around and keep filling the King's wine cup. I had hoped for something a little more interesting."

"Trust me, life can get a lot harder."

Once more a strange look was sent her way, "Are you okay Meidani? You seem a bit… bitter, for lack of a better word."

A hollow laugh escaped from her mouth, "Bitter? You could say that."

"Why?" he inquired.

"Why don't you ask your cousin," she replied.

Lancel shuffled awkwardly for a moment, "If you don't mind my asking, how did you and Jaime meet? Because you seen to have a, umm, strained relationship."

"Strained? You don't know the half of-"

"Lancel, you won't mind giving me some time with my lovely wife now will you?" Jaime's voice cut across her sentence.

"Of course not cousin," Lancel said, "See you later Meidani."

The young boy strode off down the path, and Jaime watched him go.

"Hmm, it seems my arrival was rather timely," he mused, "Unless I am mistaken, you were about to inform my young cousin of your sky high opinion of my character."

"He asked me a question, I was just going to answer it."

"With a report that no doubt implies that I am evil incarnate?"

Meidani shrugged, "The truth is the truth, I'm not going to change it."

"It's a shame that you cannot see it then."

"I see it just fine thank you very much."

"You see delusions little dragon, you are too wrapped up in yourself to take in anything that might contradict what you believe. You see everything through a glass of your own design, filtering out what you don't like."

"What do you even want from me Jaime? Why are you here?"

"What? I have so little free time in the day, I can't see my beautiful young wife when I have a spare moment?"

"Personally, I'd rather you found another way to spend your time."

"Come on little dragon, I even got you a present."

"Forgive me if I don't jump for joy at the prospect of a gift from you."

"I had it ordered during our time at Casterly Rock, but it only arrived today. The goldsmith took a little longer than normal because of the extra detail."

"Could they have taken even longer? That would have been nice."

Jaime pulled something out of his pocket, and held it out for Meidani's inspection. A golden pendant hung suspended from a fine golden chain. It was too thick to be called a disk, but was not thick enough to be a locket. The back was smooth gold, shining like a mirror in the afternoon light. But the front had been engraved with the lion of House Lannister. Jaime unclasped the necklace, and placed it around Meidani neck. It hung against her chest like a dead weight. He traced his finger down her neck to touch the pendant.

"The lion of House Lannister. Another sign that you own me," she noted dryly.

"You are a Lannister now little dragon, and you should acknowledge your new House."

"Great another shackle," Meidani muttered.

"Try to look beyond your little judgements little dragon. You miss out the obvious."

Jaime then turned and strode away from her, running into his brother Tyrion, who had watched the whole exchange.

"You didn't tell her?" Tyrion inquired.

"I want her to figure it out," Jaime replied.

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then I guess she'll never know."

"I'm surprised brother, I never expected you to actually read your wedding gift," Tyrion said.

"Well you know how much I love to do the unexpected. But if you tell anyone little brother," Jaime left the threat hanging.

"Fear not, your little secret is safe with me. How is your wife today?"

"The same as she has been for the past few weeks. She's lost it Tyrion."

"Lost what?"

"That fire in her," Jaime replied, "It's… just gone."

"Funny, I thought you wanted her calmer."

"So did I," Jaime said; wondering what exactly it _was_ that he wanted.

**Okay, I may not be able to do 2 updates a day now. Cause I'm about to start exams. I'll still try to get at least one chapter up per day!  
>Thanks for reading! Leave a review and tell me what you think ;D<strong>


	14. Uh Oh

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana  
>Here's chapter 14! Hope that you all enjoy it :D<strong>

Chapter 14: Uh Oh

Sunlight filtering through the thin curtains fell upon Meidani's face, slowly bringing her back to consciousness. She felt _really_ strange, like she was waking up from far more than just sleep. She felt… annoyed. She _felt_. Meidani couldn't remember the last time that she had actually simply _felt_ anything for a long time. There was more, it felt like a great stirring in her body. It was as if she had been locked away in some dream, and her body had gone on living without her mind there. But now it was back, and with it came a realisation. How could she have acted like she had? She had just pain back and let Jaime have her; literally! Looking back over the past few weeks made her cringe inside, she'd been so stupid. Of course there were things left to fight for; her pride among them. It had been wounded in her mental absence, and yet she had never realised until now. But why the sudden wakeup call? Why come back to herself only now? She sighed, and settled back against the man sleeping behind her, his arm around her waist.

If she had thought that waking up had brought her a big shock, it was _dwarfed_ by the one that she got from what she had just done. Meidani performed the most athletic manoeuvre that she ever had in her life, she would probably never be able to match it again. She leapt out of the bed, and managed to land a good several feet away from it. She then proceeded to leg it as fast as she could to the location of a basin, and promptly threw up in it. She gagged and shuddered for several seconds after that. There was a small peppermint plant in the bathroom, and Meidani rinsed her mouth out with water before placing a couple of leaves in her mouth. Hoping that they would help get the taste out.

Meidani took a few deep, calming, breaths and tried to stabilise herself once more. If she had thought that going around like some melancholy ghost had been bad, waking up in Jaime's arms had been worse. And what made it even more horrible was what she had done without thinking, she had just relaxed into him. The man who was the root cause for every bad thing in her life, and she had lain against his broad chest for comfort. Just thinking about it made Meidani feel like throwing up all over again. What was wrong with her? She felt shaky and sick. Well, having just realised all the things that she had simply gone with over the past few weeks, why shouldn't she feel sick and a little shaken up?

Composing herself, and trying to gain a semblance of calm, she walked back into the bedroom. Jaime was awake, probably because of her made escape from him to the other side of the suite, and had propped himself up in bed. He was gazing at her with fascination in his bright green eyes. She glared back at him, flashing violet fire in his direction. He grinned.

"There she is, there's my little dragon. Full of fight and fire," he praised.

"Shut up Lannister," she snapped, "I don't know what was wrong with me, but don't expect that you can just walk all over me anymore."

"If I might ask, what did I do this time to incur your wrath so early in the morning?" he inquired; yawning halfway through the sentence.

"You want to know? How's everything for an answer? Everything that is bad in my life, is your fault," she retorted.

"Really? _Everything_? Those are some rather hefty accusations little dragon, be sure that you're right before you make them. Yes, I killed your mother. But I was under orders and would have done so anyway, I should have killed you too, but here you are still standing. Yes, I kidnapped and married you. I will not try to say otherwise, these are actions that I know I committed. But everything in your life? You cannot just take me and blame me for everything that you want, take time to look at yourself for a moment. Who made you go through that strange emotionless period? You did. Who makes you unhappy? Only yourself. You refuse to let go of anything, no matter how small, and you refuse to simply get on with life. I cannot take the blame for these things Meidani, only you can do that." During his speech he had gotten up from the bed was walked towards her.

His calm rationality only added more fuel to her fire, "Whatever _I_ did, it was only because of what _you_ have done to my life."

"Would you just look at the past few weeks? I have tried Meidani, I have tried harder with you than I ever have with anyone. But you refuse to see or acknowledge any of that."

He reached out a hand to touch her cheek, but she slapped it away; scowling at him.

"Don't touch me," she spat.

Something that she would have called sadness had it been any other man flickered in his green eyes, but like every emotion of his, it didn't out last his calm façade.

"I have slept every night for the past week with you in my arms little dragon, and now you pull away from so simple a touch."

"That's a lie, I would never. Not even in the blank state I was in, _never_."

"But you did. You tossed and turned in your sleep and so I held you close, right up until I woke up. You cried in the night, so I wiped away the tears. I thought that perhaps you were changing."

"Ha!" she scoffed, "I don't know what was wrong with me, but I can assure you that I will never again be delusional enough to go through such a thing again. I would never willingly go to you for comfort."

A cold shutter fell across his expression, and he began walking towards her. Meidani dodged him, leaping out of his range. He only gave her a smirk.

"Are you so untrusting of me?"

Meidani turned to look behind her, and saw his clothes piled on a chair. Choosing not to respond to his comment, she left the room. Wondering out to the balcony, she gazed at the bustling city. All this life around her, and she had wondered around as a ghost. A sudden sadness filled her, and sobs threatened to burst from her mouth. She held them in though, not wanted Jaime to hear her, but that didn't stop the tears from rolling down her face. Where had this sadness come from? Where had her anger gone? She had flicked from one extreme of emotion to another. What was wrong with her today?

She jumped when someone placed a hand on her shoulder, but calmed down a bit when she realised that it was only Reana.

"I didn't meant to startle you miss, but-" She caught sight of Meidani's tears," Oh miss! What is the matter?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Meidani snapped.

Snapped? She had never snapped at either of her maids before. Reana was shocked, and brief hurt flashed across her face.

"Reana? Can you come here for a moment?" Penelope called from within the room.

Reana dashed in, and Meidani only heard whispers of their conversation. Nothing strong enough to make out what they were talking about. Penelope then left the room, taking her used basin with her.

"Where's she going?" Meidani inquired.

"Just to get that down to the cleaners, and fetch you a new one miss," Reana said, "Come on, you should be getting dressed."

Under her maids ushering, Meidani pulled on a light dress, pale purple in colour. It seemed as if that was practically the only thing that made up her wardrobe, with a few exceptions. Reana then brushed out her hair, and pulled it back into a soft braid. Her only adornments were the ring from Cersei, and the necklace from Jaime. The latte she spent the time that Reana took her on her hair trying to get off. But the clasp just would not come undone. She wished that she'd paid more attention when Jaime had put it on her, for now she had no idea how to take it off. She was just about to resort to the final option, ripping it from her neck, when a voice stopped her.

"It is good craftsmanship, a shame to see it broken. Wear it with pride, show that you are better than they are," Lysa Arryn said; entering the room.

Meidani smiled, and leapt from her seat to give the older woman a hug. She was the wife of Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King, and she and her husband had always been kind to Meidani. She felt a little connected to Lysa, both were married to men far older than them, but at least there was love in her Marriage with Jon. Their little son Robin was also lovely, but today Lysa had come alone. Meidani saw Penelope ducking out of the bathroom, and she and Reana soon left the room. Lysa eyed Meidani with scrutiny.

"How have you been my dear? It's been so long since we last talked, but I fear I am to blame for that, Robin keeps me rather busy I'm afraid."

"To be honest? Very strange. I only just came back to myself really, but I don't know why. It's as if there was some kind of catalyst, but I can't identify what exactly it was. Earlier I was sad for some unknown reason, and I then snapped at one of my maids. I've never done that before, I don't know why it happened. This morning when I woke up, things had shifted back to normal, and I had an argument with Jaime. But that is nothing out of the-"

Meidani broke off, she suddenly felt sick again. Not taking the time to excuse herself from Lysa, she dashed to the bathroom. Thankfully there was indeed a replacement basin, but that too would soon need replacing, for Meidani proceeded to throw up into it. Once more going through the water and peppermint leaf ritual. Lysa had followed her, and was now studying her intently.

"Wait here Meidani, I'll be back in just a moment," she said.

"Okay," Meidani replied; content not to have to go anywhere at that moment in time.

Lysa returned within fifteen minutes of her departure, bringing another woman with her. She had a friendly face, and carried a bag with her.

"Meidani, this is Myrin, she's one of the healers," Lysa explained.

"Now my dear, what's the matter with you?" Myrin inquired.

"I don't know. Over the past few weeks I was in a sort of… emotionless or blank state. But I'm fine now. This morning was when everything went back to normal, but there was also some strong stuff. I woke up annoyed, and then had an argument with my husband. That's quite normal for us though. But then later I suddenly became very sad, and I have not the slightest inclination as to why. I also snapped at one of my maids, which I have never done before."

"Hmm, interesting," the healer mused.

"Oh, and I also seem to keep throwing up. Did I perhaps eat something bad at dinner?"

A knowing smile plastered itself on the healer's face, "We'll see."

She then performed various 'tests' on Meidani. Giving her strange herbal concoctions, just to see how she reacted to them. Getting her to perform a variety of different things and recording it all. Meidani was also poked and prodded in several places, and none to gently she might add. And not in the best of places; the healer had no problems with feeling her breasts, and testing her stomach. Meidani on the other hand, felt _very_ uncomfortable. But the process didn't last for that long, and she was soon allowed to take a seat normally. The healer packed everything anyway in her bag, and then took a chair across from Meidani; Lysa remained standing.

"Now my dear, I just have a few questions for you," Myrin said.

"Okay, ask away."

"When did this emotional unbalance start to happen?"

"Umm, I suppose on my wedding night. If you mean my withdrawal."

"Yes, that is what I was referring to. Hmm, interesting." She made a small note, then looked back up at Meidani, "And you say that you only began having strange moods today?"

"Yes, just this morning," Meidani replied.

"And how are you eating?"

"Umm, after my wedding I stopped eating much. But recently I've regained my normal appetite."

"Have you noticed any pain, or discomfort, in your breasts?"

"Erm," Meidani felt a bit uncomfortable, "Just that my dresses feel a little tight now, I've had Reana start not doing them up as much as she used to."

"I have just one more question, when was the last time you bled?"

"That would have to be before I got married."

"How long before?"

"A couple of weeks perhaps."

Meidani suddenly realised. All of the questions now made sense, and her strange behaviour as well. But she had to be wrong, there was no way. It couldn't be possible. The healer smiled slightly at the widening of Meidani's eyes, and the absolute surprise and terror on her face. She had seen the same reaction many times before. Meidani's heart was racing, she needed to throw up again. She raced to the basin, and filled it even more. The peppermint plant was going to run out of leaves at the rate that she was going. When she re-entered the room, Lysa and the healer were conversing in hushed tones. Before Meidani could say anything, the doors burst open. Jaime walked in, then took in the number of people there.

"What is going on here?" he demanded.

Myrin turned to him, "I have some good news Ser, your wife is pregnant."

Jaime looked shell shocked, his mouth actually dropped open and his eyes went larger than Meidani had ever seen them. Lysa and the healer laughed at his reaction, it was a rare sight to see the great Jaime Lannister struck into silence. No words came from his open mouth, and his glance kept switching from Meidani to the healer. He started swaying on his feet.

"My my, it looks like the great Ser Jaime Lannister is going to faint," Myrin noted; chuckling.

Jaime held himself together though, he did not faint in front of people. Hell, he did not even faint. But to say that he was shocked would have been an understatement, blown away might have been better, but even that didn't quite fit.

Now he might have fought of the desire to faint to save his precious manly pride, but Meidani had no such qualms. Hearing the healer say it out loud had driven home what she hoped had been a wrong analysis of her problems. Meidani collapsed to the ground.

**Wow, I impressed myself by managed to write this chapter in the time that I did!  
>Now I have to cram study for the math exam I have in an 11 hour and 20 minutes… kill me now.<br>**


	15. Set In Motion

**Here's chapter 15!  
>Thanks to reviewers: Anissa, Dark Alana<br>Another reminder (I'll post them sporadically) The Game Of Thrones Christmas Awards 2011 is on. Post your votes!**

Chapter 15: Set In Motion  
><span>

It had been a four months since the news of Meidani's pregnancy had been revealed, and it was beginning to show. She felt rather a bit like a bloated pig, getting bigger and eating far more than she ever did normally. Her moods swings had not gotten any better either, and she found herself alternating between strong anger and sudden sadness. Her maids learned to step around her moods, and accommodate them as best they could, Lysa had also been a great help to her over the past few months. Jaime on the other hand… he didn't quite know what was going on, or perhaps he just didn't know how to behave. He argued right back at her when she was mad and then went a bit awkward when the sadness kicked in. The occasional happy moods that came around were a bit off putting for him, and he mostly just stayed quiet or left the room. But strange as his behaviour was, whenever Meidani went anywhere or tried to do anything, he always made sure that she had someone with her. Honestly, it was like he was… dotting almost. Except that because it was him one could not really use that word. More like, strangely intense care.

Myrin had been a constant fixture in Meidani's life ever since diagnosing her pregnancy, she visited everyday to see how Meidani was doing, and often bought a variety of 'helpful' herbal mixtures with her. Meidani was sceptical as to their use, and all she had ever thought of herbal mixtures was that they tasted vile and had no other purpose than to force you to get better so you didn't have to swallow the stuff anymore. But she dutifully drank them down, gagging all the while, as Myrin pretended not to notice. Meidani also had to go down to the healers house once a week, so that Myrin could run tests on her to see how the baby was going, and made sure that everything was running smoothly with the pregnancy.

Meidani was walking in the city in the afternoon, the golden sun making the city seem almost gilded, and she was actually enjoying the chance to be out. Penelope and Reana accompanied her of course, even when going down to the healer's Jaime made sure that she had an escort. She was just returning to the palace from one of her meetings with Myrin, when she ran in Lysa Arryn. The woman was distraught, and flung herself into Meidani arms, crying and speaking intelligibly. Meidani held the sobbing woman gently, smoothing her long hair and murmuring words of comfort. Eventually Lysa calmed down somewhat, enough for Meidani to get a sentence reply to her question.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's- It's, oh gods, it's Jon. He's got a fever. It came out of nowhere, and now he's bedridden with it. He was fine this morning, but only a couple of hours ago he simply collapsed. He won't eat, he can hardly speak. Oh, I'm so scared," Lysa's words came out in a rush, and Meidani had to stay silent for a while to process them.

"I'm sure that it will pass, he'll be back on his feet before you know it," she encouraged.

Lysa shock her head, "It's not natural. Jon never gets sick, I know he's an old man, but in all the time that I've known him he has never once fallen prey to any illness. And it was so sudden."

Something suddenly came to Meidani's attention. Lysa was alone. The woman hardly left her son's side while in the palace, what was she doing without him out in the city?

"Lysa, where is Robin?" she inquired.

The woman's eye suddenly widened, and she cast around wildly, "He's with his father, he's alone. I should go to him."

She took off back to the palace, leaving Meidani behind.

"Lysa! Wait!" she called.

The woman either didn't' hear her, or did not care to wait. There was almost a look of madness in her eyes, but Meidani knew that it was not, it was simply grief and fear. Greif that her husband had been struck down with illness, and fear at what might happen to him now. Meidani knew what grief felt like, but she had never felt the fear for a loved one that Lysa did now. There had been no time to fear for her mother, it had all happened so quickly. But grief? She had had plenty of time to grieve for the loss of her only parent. Madness was a word with so many possible roots. There was the madness that Lysa now suffered, there was the madness that lead men to go and fight in wars that they could not win and there was the madness which infected many in the Targaryen line. A madness that she still had to find out if it lay within her.

Meidani was about to run after the woman, when pain gripped her stomach as soon as she took her first long stride. She gritted her teeth and bent over slightly, now? Now of all times? Myrin had warned her that this would start happening, but since the warning had only been issued a couple of hours ago, Meidani had figured that she'd have a few days or weeks at the least. But perhaps the healer was just more accurate with her timing than most. Meidani glanced upwards in the direction that Lysa had torn off in, and cursed the annoyance that the baby brought with it. But she promptly took it back. No matter that it put her through some interesting times, no matter that it had been produced through Jaime Lannister taking advantage of her body. She loved her child with all her heart. It had not even been born into the world yet, but Meidani felt a stronger attachment to it than she had ever experienced with anything before. She had sometimes wondered how her mother could bare to keep her, considering that Meidani was the product of the Mad King's rape, but now she understood why. If this was how her mother had felt about carrying the child of Aerys Targaryen, then Meidani understood as she carried the child of Jaime Lannister.

"Miss, are you alright?"

Meidani had forgotten about her maids' presence, and Penelope's hand on her arm made her jump.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Myrin warned me about this, it will pass," she assured.

The pain subsided eventually, but Meidani decided not to try running again. She didn't know that it would bring the discomfort back, but she was certainly not going to risk it. Lysa would no doubt have reached the palace by now anyway, so she would catch up her later. She kept her stroll to a leisurely pace, and appeared calm on the surface. But inside she was filled with confusion and sadness, odd that it wasn't showing itself like most of her volatile emotions did. Perhaps because this had a root cause, as opposed to simply being pregnancy induced. Jon Arryn had always been kind to her while she was at King's Landing, and had been sort of like a mentor to her as well. He had pointed out what to do and what not to do, and given her tips on how to handle the other ladies in court. His illness pained her, he was a good man. Lysa's ramblings troubled her as well, she kept on saying that it wasn't natural. Did she suspect poison? But why Jon? He was the Hand of the King, and as such had enemies, but poison? That seemed rather odd to happen in the heart of the palace.

"Miss? Are you going after Lady Arryn?" Reana inquired.

Meidani turned to her maids, and remembered her promise to remain in the city for a while after her tests with Myrin. She smiled at them, and gave them each a couple of gold coins from her purse.

"I must see to her. But you girls stay out here, I know that I promised, but I really can't leave Lysa alone."

"But miss, you know that Ser Jaime ordered us to accompany you. And should you be walking around alone in your condition?" Reana said.

"What Ser Jaime doesn't know won't hurt him," Meidani replied, "And besides, people keep treating me like some fragile piece of glass that's going to break apart in the wind if left unattended. Really, it's not that big of a deal. I'll be fine."

"Well, if you're sure miss," Penelope sounded hesitant.

"I'm sure, enjoy the afternoon," Meidani urged.

"Thank you," they said; grins back in place.

Meidani left them, and continued on her way back to the palace. She was not bothered by her baby again, so she made good time. She was almost to Jon Arryn's room, when she ran into her husband.

"Little dragon," he greeted, "What did you do with your maids?"

"They wanted time in the city, and I promised them that I'd stay after seeing Myrin. But I had to come back here and check on Lysa, so I gave them some time to themselves."

He frowned, "I instructed them to stay with you at all times."

"And I instructed them otherwise. Honestly, I'm only four months pregnant, why does everyone keep acting like I need to be looked after for every single second of the day?"

"I just want to keep you both safe," he defended.

She put her hands on her hips and eyed him up and down, "Really? That's your reason? What's the worst that could happen?"

Jaime ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "I don't know, but what if something did?"

"Gods, when did you turn into a mother hen? _I'm fine_," she stressed her final point.

"Where are you going now?" he inquired; whenever he thought her temper was rising, he made a random subject change, wanting to avoid a yelling argument with his wife.

"To visit Jon Arryn, Lysa found me in the city and told me about his fever."

"I'll go with you," he said.

Her put up a hand to stop him, "No you won't."

The frown returned, "And why is that?"

"Did you not process a word of the conversation we just had? And besides, I want some time with him and Lysa alone. They are friends to me, and I just want the chance with them."

Jaime looked conflicted for a moment, "he can't talk," he muttered.

"I know that, but I just want to see him. Is there even a reason that you don't want me to so alone?"

He said nothing for a moment, but then nodded his head, "Go then."

"Why thank you for the permission," she said; voice coated in sarcasm, "I'll try not to die along the way, fragile as I am."

He scowled, "Not funny, I can still come with you."

"Bye then," she made her escape.

It didn't take long to reach Jon and Lysa's room, she knocked quietly. After a few seconds of waiting, Robin opened the door. He looked up and saw that it was Meidani, then wrapped his arms around her. She saw the tear streaks down the boys face, and picked him up and held him to her. He wrapped his arms around her neck, and she felt more tears fall from his eyes.

"Hey there, don't worry Sweet-Robin, your father will be fine," she assured.

Gently holding him and rubbing soothing circles on his back, Meidani entered the room. Jon was lying in his bed, breath coming in shallow gasps; Lysa sat beside him, holding his hand and wiping his brow with a cool cloth. She looked up when Meidani entered, hollowness in her gaze.

"Hello Meidani, sorry about running off like that. I have to gave care of Jon, and Robin."

Jon murmured something, and Lysa leaned close to hear.

"It's Meidani," she replied to him.

He opened his eyes, and they sought Meidani out. Again his whispered, and Lysa turned to Meidani.

"He wants to talk to you, come closer."

"Take a break Lysa, go outside and get some air," Meidani urged.  
>"Yes, I suppose I should. And Robin, I should get him some lunch," Lysa came over and took the boy from Meidani.<p>

After they had left the room, Meidani took up Lysa's position beside Jon, and resumed keep his brow cool with the cloth.

"M- Meidani?" he breathed; words barely coming out of his mouth.

"Yes, I'm here Jon," she replied.

He smiled, and Meidani continued rambling.

"You've been so good to me during my time here. You've given me your help and support when I needed it, and given me a place to go if I needed refuge. I'm so glad that I met you, you're going to be fine. I promise."

"I-I" he kept on trying to get the words out.

"What is it?" she asked; bending closer to his mouth so that she could hear him better.

"On my… desk. A letter… for… about… your husband," some of his words did not make it into the sentence, but Meidani got most of it.

"Okay, don't worry," she assured.

Lysa soon came back, but this time she left Robin in the care of some of her maids.

"Thank you Meidani, thank you for being here for him," she said.

"It's no trouble, I'm sure that he'll pull through," Meidani encouraged.

"Would you mind leaving me with him?" Lysa asked.

"No, not at all. I'm so sorry that this has happened."

Lysa's smile was sad, and did not reach her eyes, "Thank you Meidani."

She left Lysa as she once more took up her seat next to her ailing husband. Meidani made a detour through the room that Jon used as a study of sorts, and saw a letter lying on his desk. The think paper was sealed in blue wax with the symbol of House Arryn on it. She tucked it away into her belt, and left the couple in peace.

It did not take her long to find Jaime, her husband was walking in the garden as he liked to do in the afternoon. Strange how she had picked that fact up. He seemed surprised to see her walking towards him, but came to join her nevertheless.

"How is Jon doing?" he asked.

"Not so good, he could hardly talk or even keep his eyes open. I fear for him," Meidani admitted.

"He's a strong man, I remember fighting beside him more than once. Perhaps he still has the strength to fight this off," Jaime encouraged.

If Meidani was surprised at her husband's show of care, she didn't show it. She fished the letter out and handed it to him.

"Here, Jon gave it to me. I think he said that it was for you, but it was hard to make out what he was saying."

"Thank you," Jaime took the letter from her, but did not open it.

"I'll take my leave," she turned around and went back to her room. Crying the tears that she had not wanted to shed in front of anyone else.

Jaime meanwhile, was left in the garden with the letter from Jon Arryn. He highly doubted that it was for him, since the man didn't exactly have a strong liking for Jaime. But he wasn't going to tell his wife that, he feared what might be in the letter. So he waited until he was sure that he was alone before he broke open the dark blue seal.

_Meidani,  
>It grieves me to tell you of this, but your husband<br>is involved in an affair with his sister; the Queen.  
>I know that there may not be love in your marriage<br>to Jaime, and I hope that this news does not hurt  
>you. You deserve to know the truth, and please,<br>if something happens to me; tell the King. He  
>needs to know. I also suspect that his children<br>may indeed belong to your husband and not him.  
>I am sorry to have been the one to tell you this.<br>Best of luck for your future,  
>Jon Arryn<em>

Jaime scowled, so he had found out about that. Cersei had feared that he had, hence her ordering his poisoning. Damn, good thing that the old fool had been too weak to talk properly. Otherwise Meidani would have found out, he did not expect her to care really on an emotional level, but her pride was as great as his; and this would have been a large blow. Jon had also instructed her to go to Robert, which would have most likely resulted in the deaths of Jaime and Cersei. He crumpled up the note in his fist, he would feed it to the first fire that he found. All evidence would be gone, and no one need ever know that there was evidence in the first place.

**/*0*/**

Meidani slept deeply that night. Her pregnancy was odd, sometimes it gave her nights where she could find no rest at all, other times it gave her deep sleeps that she found it hard to wake from. The first thing she realised was that she was alone, which meant that Jaime must have already gone. The second thing was that sunlight was streaming strongly across her face, meaning that it must be later than she'd normally wake. But for several moments she could not pinpoint was exactly it was that had woken her in the first place. Then she realised, and her heart sank. The bells were ringing out loud and clear. Bells that told the whole city the news that Jon Arryn was dead.

**Hmm, didn't expect chapter to be this long… ohh well!  
>Hope that you all enjoyed it, I intend to have the next chapter up tomorrow morning! (My time)<strong>

**Game of Thrones is screening for me tonight, look forward to watching more of the amazing show :D  
>Thanks everyone for reading! Don't forget to review ;)<strong>


	16. On The Road Again

**Silly Meidani, not hearing Jon right!  
>Anyway, chapter 16!<br>Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana  
>Whoop whoop! It's ma birthday :D Don't know why I felt like putting that in an AN… TO THE <strong>

**STORY!  
><strong>

Chapter 16: On The Road Again

After hearing confirmation from her maids that Jon Arryn had passed away during the night, Meidani collapsed into tears. She cried for a long time, not even moving from the chair that she had fallen into. One of her only friends in King's Landing, and a good man, Jon's death was a blow to her heart. Reana and Penelope tried to console her, but she sent them away. Perhaps she was harsher with them than she should have been, but she could just blame her pregnancy for that. In reality, she just wanted to be left alone with her sadness. For hours no one came to bother her, and she did not move even after her crying had stopped. But eventually her door did open, and Lysa Arryn walked in, her son Robin in tow.

No words needed to be said. Robin climbed up into Meidani's lap, wrapping his arms around her neck and crying into her hair. Lysa sat down next to Meidani, and put her arms around both her and Robin. If Meidani's sadness had been great, it was not even a grain of sand upon a beach in comparison with what Lysa was going through right now. Meidani did not even know the words to convey such grief. All she could do was put her arms around her and Robin, and hold them close. Giving the silent comfort which was all that they needed at a time like this. The day passed them by, and eventually the two of them left, and Meidani was once more left alone. She had only moved from her spot when the need to perform necessary bodily tasks became too great to ignore, but now she left her place on the large chair, and exchanged it for curling up on the bed.

Maybe it was just her pregnancy making her emotions even stronger than they would normally be, but her sadness was so great, then even when someone came to her and touched her shoulder, she turned to them and cried into their chest. Hands gently caressed her back, and her sobs got out of control. She was partly crying for her own grief at the loss of Jon, and partly crying for Lysa and Robin. She had lost a man who she had been married to for seventeen years, and she had loved him dearly. He had lost his father, and he was only just six years old. That night Meidani cried herself to sleep again, but she did not realise that even she did this; Jaime never let her out of his arms.

**/*0*/**

Needless to say, much of yesterday was a blur to Meidani. So she didn't remember everything that happened, and what she did remember wasn't exactly in pristine detail. Therefore, when she woke up against Jaime Lannister's chest, she nearly jumped out of her skin. That wasn't possible though, so she settled for jumping out of the bed, something that the baby inside her did not agree with one little bit. A small spell of pain clouded her mind for a moment, but then she stood upright again, and found Jaime staring at her.

"Do you just coincidentally wake up every time I get up?" she questioned.

"Well last night I did considering that you moved around a lot. You've done that since getting with child, but it's not as noticeable to my sleep pattern until I slept with you in my arms the whole night. Also, it's rather hard not to be woken up when the comfortable warmth of having my wife in my arms suddenly disappears. You also cried out in pain, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, it was just a spell," she said.

"You shouldn't over exert yourself," he chided.

"Like you care!" she scoffed, "And I wasn't 'over exerting' myself."

"You are my wife and you are carrying my child, I care more than you know," he retorted, "And since when did leaping out of a bed and three feet away after only seconds of waking up not count as over exertion? Especially considering the condition you are in."

"Argh!" she exclaimed, "Will people stop going on about my bloody 'condition'. I. Am. _Fine_."

"Yes, you are proving that rather well aren't you," he said sarcastically.

Her only response to this was to grab a pillow from a nearby chair, and throw it right in his face. Considering that that was probably one of the last things he had been expecting, he barely raised his hand in time to catch it before it made contact with him. He looked at the pillow, then at her, then back between the two again; before proceeding to burst out into laughter.

"What?" she snapped.

"I can't believe that you actually just threw a pillow at me, I don't think that I've had this happen since I was a small boy."

She glowered at him, "You want another one then?"

He held up his hands, "No, I'm fine thanks."

Meidani left him and went to change for the day. She kept of being given new sets of clothes as she got bigger throughout her pregnancy. Pulling out a pale blue dress of light material, she went behind the modesty screen. She go the dress on alright, but then realised that she normally had her maids to help her tie up the back. Just as this though crossed her mind, someone started lacing her up.

"Thank you Reana," she replied automatically; then realised that she hadn't heard either of her maids enter.

Whirling around, she was face to face with a smirking Jaime.

"You're welcome little dragon, but I think you got my name wrong," he joked.

"Seven hells Lannister! Where did you sneak up from?" she demanded.

"It is my room as well you know," he pointed out, "In fact, it was mine first."

"Well you can have it to yourself for now, I'm going to go and see Lysa."

"Are you taking one of your maids?" he asked.

"No, did you forget our conversation a couple of days ago? I thought I was getting a little more freedom now."

"Fine," he relented, "But I'm going to see the King soon, after that I need to talk to you about something."

"Can't wait," she said; sounding about as thrilled as if someone had just told her she had been given a pile of crap for a present.

"Glad to hear that you sound so thrilled, pass my regards onto Lady Arryn."

Meidani left the room without replying, she didn't feel that the comment required it. The corridors were surprisingly full, with servants hurrying to and fro from places, carrying various different items. Meidani wasn't sure what was going on, but didn't want to stop and ask. Perhaps she would do so after her visit to Lysa and Robin. She hurried past the room where the Silent Sisters were preparing the body of Jon Arryn; she did not want to see him with no life in his warm eyes. She reached their set of rooms, and it took a few seconds after she had knocked for Robin to come to the door. The young boy hard clearly been crying, but at the moment the only sign of it was the bloodshot red in his eyes, he was trying to be brave.

"Hello Sweet-Robin," she said.

"Hey Meidani," he replied; reaching out a hand to her.

She took it, and the boy led her into the room.

"Mother, Meidani is here again," he called out.

Lysa Arryn swept into the room. She was a wreak. Her long hair was in disarray, her dress was crumpled and Meidani recognised it as the same one from yesterday, and there was a slightly feverish glint of one possessed in her eyes.

"Meidani! Thank the gods you came here, I was going to find you."

"What is it Lysa? Are you… How are you feeling?"

"You're departing for Winterfell tomorrow," Lysa announced.

"I am? Why would I be doing that?" Meidani inquired.

"Because King Robert Baratheon is riding with his entire Royal Party up to the North. In light of my husband's… well there can only be one reason that he is travelling so far, with such a large party too. He means to name Lord Eddard Stark as the new Hand of the King."

"Lord Eddard Stark," Meidani mused; recognising the name from somewhere, "You've told me of him I believe, your sister's husband?"

"Yes, Catylen married him around the same time that I… anyway. Ned Stark is a good man, but things in King's Landing will not be as he remembers them. And I have a message for my sister."

Lysa withdrew a letter from her person, and thrust it into Meidani's hand. It was sealed with the trout of House Tully, not the seal of House Arryn, why had she used her former House's seal?

"Give this to Cat, don't let anyone else find it. Don't open it. Just give it straight to her," Lysa instructed.

"Of course, I would never open a letter that was not mine. Is there anything else that you would like me to pass onto your sister in the North?"

"Just tell her this; Family, Duty Honour," Lysa said.

Meidani thought for a moment, why did that phrase ring a bell inside her head? Then she remembered her mother forcing her to learn the House signs and their mottos. 'Family, Duty, Honour' was the motto of House Tully.

"Alright, is there anything that you require help with Lysa?"

"No, no. I'm fine," Lysa waved her off, "You go Meidani, and remember to insist on taking Myrin with you. It's only four weeks but the ride is long, and she will probably track you down if you leave without her."

Meidani laughed, "She probably would," she agreed; thinking of the determined little healer.

"Take care of yourself Meidani, and of the baby, I shall probably not see you again for some time. Do not tell anyone of this, but I intend to return to the Vale, there are things that I must see too. But first comes the safety of my son. Farewell my dear."

"Won't I see you again tomorrow?" Meidani inquired.

Lysa shook her head, "Probably not."

"Well take care of yourself too, and Robin. You will both pull through this, you are strong."

Meidani embraced her friend closely, she wondered when they would next meet. From what Lysa had said, Meidani assumed that she did not intend to return from the Vale of Arryn any time soon. Perhaps Meidani could go to her, once this blasted pregnancy was done playing havoc with her. Lysa hugged her tightly, and they remained like that for a long time. But then Meidani pulled away, and bent down to give Robin a hug. The little boy wrapped his arms around her, and clung to Meidani tightly.

"I'll miss you Sweet-Robin," she said, "Take care of your mother for me."  
>"I will, goodbye Meidani," he whispered.<p>

Tears had leaked out of her eyes by the time she made it back to her room, and thankfully her maids were already there.

"Are you alright miss?" Reana asked.

"Come, sit down," Penelope urged.

They sat by her, and held her as she cried. Once more her tears were split between a few different causes. Leaving Lysa and Robin was sad for her, and her pregnancy made it all the more emotional, she also cried once more for Jon Arryn; such men should not have to die in such ways. She eventually calmed down a lot more, and her maids resumed the tasks that they had been undertaking before her returned; namely packing. When had the news of Winterfell been released? Meidani felt rather cheated at having only gotten it second hand from Lysa. But she tried to help her maids, only to be sent back to the chair to 'rest herself'. BAH! This bloody pregnancy!

"Where is my wife?" Jaime asked; bursting into the room.

"Right here, why the shouting?" she replied dryly.

"We ride for Winterfell tomorrow," he barked out.

"So I had heard, do you not see my maids packing? What's gotten into you?"

Jaime scrubbed a hand through his hair. He was worried. There was no way that he was going to show that in front of his sister, considering that she was worried enough. But the news that he had just heard from the King bothered him. Naming Eddard Stark as the Hand of the King might cause some problems for Cersei, therefore causing problems for Jaime. Eddard was known to be a just and fair man, and ruthless when he wanted to find out the truth. Cersei feared that he might be able to discover their little secret, Jon Arryn had certainly come too close. But Jaime was confident that they could deal with it, that didn't lessen his worry though. So what did any husband do when he was worried? He sought out an argument with his wife.

"You're not going?" he announced.

"Excuse me? Since when do you dictate me?" he demanded; glaring him down.

"Since I became your husband. It is a long and perilous journey to Winterfell, and it may be over taxing for you."

"You're joking? Have you not _seen_ the pace at which the King's Party travels at? It's a wonder the snails didn't beat us to Casterly Rock! At that pace, what could happen to me?"

Great, within seconds what Jaime had hoped would be a long argument had been stumped with logic. Damn the woman.

"Very well, but you ride in the carriage with my sister and her children," he bargained.

"I most certainly will not! Myrin always says that spending time in the outdoors is good for the baby, I will not be relegated to a stuffy box on rickety wheels."

Seven hells, did she have to beat him at every turn? She had played the worst card, the midwife one. It is actually impossible to contest the opinion of a midwife when it concerns an unborn child, as many other fathers will have found out before Jaime.

Meidani regarded him curiously, "If I didn't know better I'd just say you were looking for a fight right there. Are you taking advantage of my quick anger to get yourself an argument? Seven hells Lannister, don't we have enough of those without you poking around for more?"

"I was not!" Jaime protested, "I was just concerned that the month long ride through dangerous territory to a distant castle in the North might be a little too much for my wife and child."

"Uh huh, I believe you," Meidani said; tone saying everything to the contrary.

This _did_ launch them into an argument, which carried on for quite some time. Reana and Penelope left the room after a few minutes, but not out of giving the couple some privacy. They were struggling far too hard not to laugh at the sight.

Many months would go past before Meidani remembered that there had been something that Jaime had wanted to talk to her about. And by then things will be very different.

**Mwahaha! Enigmatic ending!  
>Tell me what you think of the story ;) I'll try to update again soon!<strong>


	17. Thrown Off Track

**Thanks for reviewing: Garota Anoima, Dark Alana, thePatient07, Anissa  
>Here's the next chapter for ya'll :D Sorry about the longer than normal wait…<strong>

Chapter 17: Thrown Off Track

They had been on the King's Road for a week now, and Meidani really didn't see what the fuss was about. She had gone to see Myrin on the eve before they left, and somehow even the healer had heard the news of the Royal Party travelling to Winterfell. When Meidani had arrived at her small house, she had already began packing her things. When Meidani entered, she turned around a smiled.

"I hear that we are going to Winterfell, charming, I've always wanted to see the North," she said.

Meidani laughed, "I suppose that it was not even an option that you remain behind then?"

"Certainly not, why would you say that?" Myrin inquired.

"Well, We don't' expect to be away for more than three months or so, and my baby isn't due for another five. I figured that I'd be fine."

Myrin shook her head, "First time mothers," she muttered, "You always need to have a midwife or healer with you during your pregnancy. Just in case."

"In any case, I'm glad that you're coming Myrin," Meidani said; and she really meant it.

Myrin nodded, "You are going to be riding in a carriage of course."

"Urgh," Meidani groaned, "I will not. You're just like Jaime, he thinks that I should as well."

"Then your husband is more sensible then I ever thought him. The carriage it better," Myrin argued.

"_You_ are the one who said that I should get fresh air!" Meidani protested.

"Then have the windows drawn back."

"I am not going to spend the month long trip to Winterfell boxed up in a carriage! Please Myrin, let me ride," Meidani begged.

The healer frowned in thought and remained silent for several moments. But she eventually sighed and nodded.

"Alright, _but,_ you cannot go faster than a walk. And I will ride beside you for the duration of the trip," Myrin bargained.

Meidani winced, walking was so slow, but she agreed. It was the best deal that she was going to get.

"Okay, but one more thing? Please don't tell Jaime that I had to bargain with you. He will be disgustingly smug that he was right, and might actually force me into the carriage."

"Hmm, it seems like telling your husband sounds like a good plan," Myrin mused.

"Please don't!" Meidani begged.

She hadn't realised that the woman had been joking until she burst out into laughter at the panicked expression on Meidani's face.

"Hey! No teasing the pregnant lady," Meidani exclaimed.

"Really Meidani, I thought you knew me better by now," Myrin chided.

"Midwives," Meidani grumbled.

**/*0*/**

And that was how Meidani found herself walking along one week later, bored out of her mind. She felt the mad desire to disobey Myrin, and stretch Lynessa out to a full gallop, but feared the threat of the carriage. The trip had been uneventful for the most part, and the slow pace did not help. More often the not Meidani actually found herself wishing for conversation with simply anyone, Myrin didn't talk much while on the move, and she just wanted something to alleviate the boredom. Thankfully Tyrion rode beside her most days, and the dwarf was actually rather good conversation. He informed her on much of the Northern history. About how the Stark family may now only be Wardens Of The North, but had once been King's in the North, but they had sworn to House Targaryen; and were now sworn to House Baratheon.

"And the Wall! The greatest structure that man has ever built, a thick wall of ice as high as the sky. And it still stands to this day, and the Night's Watch still guard it."

"What was it built for?" Meidani asked.

"Legends say that it was built after a winter that lasted generations, the Longest Night that Westeros has ever known. And during that time, the White Walkers came. Fearsome beasts that killed without mercy; driven back only by the return of summer and sunlight. All fancy nonsense if you ask me, but the Watch still stands at the ready; little more than Wildling round up now though."

"They've guarded the wall this whole time?"

"Yes, although I hear that the 'noble' organisation has degraded somewhat. A rag tag bunch of thieves and other criminals for the most part."

"Why do people even volunteer for that?" Meidani inquired.

"Well some still view it as an honour to serve in the Night's Watch. The opinion changes somewhat I should think once they meet their new 'brothers' in arms."

"Well as fascinatingly boring as the subject is, you won't mind if I interrupt will you?" Jaime's voice cut in.

Meidani rolled her eyes, "Yes, I would."

"A shame for you then, you'll have to simply manage with my presence," Jaime replied.

"Or I could ride a head and not," she retorted.

"Yes, go on dear," Myrin urged.

Meidani realised her empty threat. She was fairly sure that her midwife was just sitting on her horse _waiting_ to see Meidani go faster than a walk so that she could bundle her into the carriage.

"Not in armour today," she noted; taking in her husband's simply dress. He normally had on the armour of the Kingsguard.

He shrugged, "I didn't see the need. Even if we are attacked, my skills are fine enough to defend myself without the armour. Thank you for noticing though, it's nice to see that you care."

"Ugh, don't flatter yourself. You're modesty it truly awe-inspiring," she said sarcastically.

Unfortunately for the slowly brewing argument, it was interrupted. Meidani felt a sudden stab of pain in her abdomen and doubled over in her saddle, groaning in pain. It passed by quickly, but in the short space of time Myrin had grabbed Lynessa's reins and pulled Meidani to the edge of the road. The healer quickly dismounted and stood at Meidani's stirrup.

"Down. Now." The woman instructed.

"I'm fine! It was just one stab, really," Meidani said.

"Dismount," Myrin commanded.

Meidani sighed, but got off her horse. If she didn't, then she had no doubt that Myrin would force her from the saddle. The party kept on travelling, as Meidani was subjected to the healer checking her. Right beside the road. There would be no reasoning with her though, if Meidani pointed out that it was indecent to have her stomach probed in full view, Myrin would probably do something worse. So she endured it, and hoped that the woman would be quick for a change. She wasn't, and by the time she had deemed Meidani fine, the company was out of sight down the road.

"The babe is alright," she announced.

"That's what I _told_ you," Meidani pointed out.

"It's better to be safe than sorry, so I'll do a proper check at camp. The servants who rode ahead should have it set up by now."

Meidani walked over to her horse, and was about to mount when a voice stopped her.

"Perhaps she should rest for a bit."

Meidani jumped, she had honestly had no idea that Jaime had been there. She needed to work on her observation skills. Badly.

"I'm fine," she snapped.

"You're right," Myrin agreed at the same time.

"I can stay with her, you ride on to the camp and get whatever you need ready," Jaime urged.

"I like your thinking, perhaps you aren't the idiot that I heard so much about," Myrin mounted and rode off after the party.

"I'm fine!" Meidani protested.

"Uh uh," Jaime chided, "You should rest."

"You heard Myrin, I'm alright," she retorted.

"_You_ heard Myrin, she agreed with me."

"Seven hells! What are you doing as a knight? You should have become a midwife."

"Would you stop pacing and sit down? Do you not know the meaning of rest?"

She stopped and turned on him, narrowing her eyes.

"Did you plan this?"

"What? I somehow managed to inflict a stab of pain on you though our baby? Oh you've seen right through my diabolical plan," his voice dripped in sarcasm.

"The rest of it? You hanging around, suggesting to my over-protective midwife that I need rest, when I don't." she listed off on her hand.

"Look little dragon, you have several lovely theories there, but if you don't' sit down soon then I'm afraid it'll be all the longer before you get back to camp. Standing around and pacing doesn't count as rest."

"Says who?"

"Says the midwife who has the power to resign you to the carriage," he pointed out.

"Fine!" Meidani threw her hands up in the air and plonked herself on the ground, "happy now?"

"I'd be happier if you sat a little closer."

"Don't push your luck Lannister," she warned.

This didn't deter him, and he came to sit beside her, trapping her hand before she could move away from him.

"You've been avoiding me," he stated.

"I always avoid you," she corrected.

"Yes, but you have been doing it with more… determination lately. Might I enquire as to why?"

"Why would I? Do you really want to have the whole 'you ruined my past' talk _again_?"

"I think that I can live without. But would you mind telling me why the change in _level_ of avoidance?"

Meidani shrugged, "I don't know."

They remained in silence for a while after that, as the sun sank lower in the sky. Meidani eventually got bored with just sitting there.

"Has the level of rest been sufficient yet?" he asked.

"Hmm, depends," Jaime replied.

"Depends on what?"

"Just give me a moment."

He turned to face her, then planted a soft kiss on her lips. She hadn't been expecting it, so she hadn't had time to pull back. But he was the one to move away first, after simply touching his lips to hers. Odd, he'd never done that before.

"Okay, _now_ let's go," he said.

She gave him a strange look as she got to her feet, "You're a weird man Lannister."

"Why thank you little dragon."

She had just put one foot in her stirrup and was about to apply the force that was necessary these days to heave herself up into the saddle, when he came up behind her and simply lifted her up. Then mounted his own horse in one smooth movement. Again, just a simple gesture, then backing off. Had he been possessed or something?

"Remember, just walking. Otherwise I fear that your midwife will have my head, no matter how nice she seems to be at the moment," Jaime warned.

"Don't worry, if I go faster I get the carriage," Meidani shuddered.

They rode down the road together, and there was not a single other person in sight. Now some people say that animals can sense danger in an almost unnatural way, others dismiss this as nonsense. But whether it was danger that she sensed, or perhaps some other reason, Meidani's horse would not see the trip to its end. With no warning she reared up, and Meidani tumbled from the saddle, the air rushing out of her lungs when she hit the ground. It wasn't until Jaime saw the arrow buried deep in the horse's neck that he realised what had happened. He did not even think, he tore off in the direction that the arrow had spend from. And he found a man running from his hiding place behind a tree. Jaime ran him down easily, and jumped from his horse, tackling the man to the hard earth. There was a brief struggle, but seeing as the man had no other weapons beyond his bow, Jaime soon had him standing still with Jaime's sword pointed at his heart.

"Why did you attack my wife?" Jaime demanded.

"What does it matter to you? They say you only married the Targaryen bastard because of her lineage," the man spat.

"It matters greatly to me, and it should also matter to you, considering that I hold your life in my hands."

"She's a Targaryen, they all deserve death. I was just waiting for the right moment."

"Poor last words," Jaime said; and decapitated the man with a solid strike of his sword.

The whole event had probably taken less than two minutes, but it was only then did Jaime remember that he had left Meidani where she had fallen. He hastily remounted, and galloped back to her. Thankfully she did not seem too injured, she was kneeling by her fallen horse, stroking its mane softly and whispering strange words. Lynessa was already dead though, she had been dead the moment she had taken the arrow for her rider. Tears made their way down Meidani's face.

"Are you okay?" Jaime asked; dismounting and running up to her.

"I am fine, just a little shaken and winded," she replied, "But Lynessa… she… how?"

Jaime shrugged, "I don't know how she sensed it, but she gave up her life for yours. She was a good horse."

"Did you find the bastard who killed her?"

Jaime nodded, "I did. He will not be troubling anyone ever again."

Meidani didn't want to know the details, she was just glad that whoever it had been was now dead. But so was her beloved horse.

"We should get back to the camp," Jaime said gently; not wanting to ruin the moment, but not wanting to risk staying out in the open, "You can ride with me."

Ordinarily Meidani would have made a complaint, but shell shocked as she was, she simply nodded. Something went wrong when she tried to stand though. Pain gripped her in a way that it never had before, and she collapsed to the ground in agony.

"Meidani? What is it? What's wrong?" Jaime asked one question after the other.

Meidani didn't know exactly what was wrong with her, and nor did she want to hazard a guess. Any reply that she might have given, was swallowed up by a cry of pain. Jaime did not waste another second. Being as careful as he could, he lifted her in his arms and placed her in his saddle. Then he swung up behind her and rode like the wind back to the camp.

**Sorry again about the late update! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!  
>Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!<strong>

**And also don't' forget about the Awards :D**


	18. Lost

**Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, thePatient07**

**A.N. I know absolutely nothing about giving birth and what happens etc. Sorry if what's written here is a crock of shit.**

Chapter 18: Lost

"GET ME MYRIN!" Jaime roared as he galloped into the camp, "Someone find me that healer! NOW!"

He didn't not stop to see if people were following his command, he did not stop to allow people to get out of his way; there was only one thing on his mind, and that was the welling being on his wife. Who was currently moaning in pain as she curled up against his chest as best as she could manage while sitting in the saddle. He didn't take notice of anyone that me may have run down in his mad gallop, he did not stop until he reached Meidani's tent. He leapt from the back of his horse and gently eased Meidani down into his arms. She groaned and writhed about, and he held her securely so that she did not slip from his grasp. He rushed in and laid her softly down on the bed. And had not a single clue what to do next. Jaime was fine in a battle, he always had a clear head and knew what to do. He was fine when he was put in a political position, having had enough teachings on what to do as the eldest Lannister boy. But faced with the situation before him, he was clueless. The best he could do was sit beside his wife and try to give her some kind of comfort.

"Hey little dragon, don't worry, you'll be fine," he said; brushing the hair from her face and taking her hand.

He winced, not having anticipate the iron grip that she had. He swore that he heard bones click.

"WHERE'S THE HEALER?" he yelled out.

"If you would give her one minute," Myrin said dryly, but then her eyes fell upon Meidani and shock filled them, "What happened?"

"She was attacked, her horse reared and she fell to the ground. She seemed to be fine at first, it a little winded, but then she was suddenly in pain. Can you help her?" Jaime recounted the tale in a rush.

"Of course I can help her, this is my job." Myrin ducked her head outside and called three guards in, "Right, now you," she gestured to the youngest, "Go to my tent and bring me all of my possessions."

"All of them?" he clarified.

"Yes all of them!" the healer thundered, "Are you deaf boy? GO!"

He ran from the room, not wanting to cross the angry healer.

"What do you want us to do ma'am?" one of the others asked.

"Restrain him," she pointed at Jaime, "Get him out of the tent and don't' let him in again until I say so."

In matters such as these midwives possessed more power than all the lords of the Seven Kingdoms, more power than even King Robert, and they did as she bid them. Jaime did not go easily however, fighting them the whole way.

"Let me go! I'm not leaving!" he protested when they grabbed his arms and pulled him away from Meidani.

"A panicking husband who has no idea what is going on is the last thing that Meidani needs right now. Do you want to help her?" the healer demanded.

Jaime nodded, but did not cease his struggle.

"Then get out," she commanded, "Meidani needs as much peace as she can get at the moment, and having you hovering around like every father does will not help her. Men presume to think that they can help in every situation, but let me tell you this, if you do not get out I will have to drugged and removed."

Jaime was not able to make himself leave of his own accord however, so the guards had to forcibly drag him from the tent. Once he was gone, Myrin turned to Meidani, assessing the girl with a practised eye; the midwife frowned. This was not good, the signs she saw did not bode well for the outcome of this afternoon. But she would do the best that she could. The boy came back with her things, and she promptly shooed him away again; with orders to get a fire started in the small brazier of the tent and to fetch her a small cauldron. She did not need help, she knew her craft well. And having more people in the room would not ease the strain on Meidani. The first birth was never easy, and this would be harder than most. The babe should not be coming now, it was nowhere near ready to be born, but she would do her best to save it. She just hoped that Meidani had the strength to pull through the process, and the possible tragedy of the aftermath.

The boy returned once more, and quickly got to work on lighting the fire. He put water in the pot and set if over the flames. After performing his tasks he did not need Myrin to shoo him out, Meidani's cries of pain were unsettling enough for him to hear. Myrin measured out some herbs and mixed a draught together as quickly as she possibly could. She gently lifted Meidani's head up so that the girl could swallow the liquid.

"Shh," she whispered comfortingly, "This will help ease the pain, you must drink it all down though."

Within moments Meidani began to feel the effects of the foul tasting brew. The pain was by no means gone, but it was certainly not as bad as it had once been. But she could feel it growing stronger once again, as if something was trying to stretch and break her from within. Indeed, that was pretty much what was happening as they baby was forcing its way out of her womb. The incident on the road had forced Meidani into premature labour, her baby was coming, and the process could not be reversed. Myrin worked furiously as the girl tried to keep control of her pain, she wished that she had been more prepared, but she would have to make do with what she had at hand. Meidani's suppressed groans escalated once more to outright cries, and Myrin knew that the time had come.

"It's okay Meidani, you are doing wonderfully. Just try to keep calm."

"Keep calm! Have you _tried_ this!" Meidani exclaimed, "Calm is not high on my list!"

Myrin smiled, "I know exactly what you're going through, it's nearly over. Just stay strong my dear."

"ARGH!" Meidani screamed, "Curse that blithering idiot Lannister for doing this to me! ARGH!"

Despite the situation Myrin had to allow herself a small smile. It was so often the way that wives cursed their husbands when they were giving birth, rightly so as well. The men had no idea what women went through. Meidani was almost through, Myrin could see the top of the baby's head. Not long now. But she feared the result.

**/*0*/**

Meanwhile outside the tent, Jaime Lannister had been dragged out by the two guards. They ignored his shouts.

"Do you know who I am? I'll have your heads for this! Let me go!" he cried.

"Sorry Ser Jaime, but there is no way that we are letting you in there. Midwife's orders, and in these matters, those orders are law," one man answered.

Jaime stopped struggling for a bit, and they let him go. But they stood in front of the tent entrance, forming a barricade. Jaime paced restlessly, how did they expect him to stay out here? Every time he heard Meidani cry out, he winced and eyed the guards to see if he could get through. They stood still with stony faces, but they too winced when they heard the girl cry out. Several times Jaime tried to charge past them, but each time the men acted together to shove him back. His frustration grew and grew as time went on, and his pacing turned almost manic. At last, Meidani's cries lessened, and he prayed that the healer had done something to help her. It wasn't long though before they started again, and he heard her cursing him. It almost made him smile, _my_ _little dragon_, he though, _don't ever stop fighting._

Jaime was on the brink of literally tearing his hair out when Meidani gave a long and loud scream. That did it for him, and he charged at the guards. They tried to fight him off, but he managed to knock one unconscious and incapacitate the other, who fell to the ground with a cry of pain. At that moment he did not care one bit about then though, he did not spare a thought for any injury that he might have done them. His sole aim was to get inside the tent, an aim which he managed to pull off. When he burst in, Meidani was sprawled across the bed, energy completely spent from her labour, she did not even raise her head to look at who had entered the tent. Myrin stood to one side; she was wrapping up a bundle tightly in cloth. The look she sent Jaime was sympathetic. Jaime didn't want to acknowledge its meaning though, so she came over to him.

"It was a girl, but she came too soon. I am sorry ser, but it is best that Meidani never see her child like this. It is not a pretty sight for any mother to witness," she said.

Jaime felt like a great hammer had knocked the wind out of his lungs.

"My little girl? She's dead?" he hated how broken his voice sounded.

The healer nodded her head sadly, she placed a hand on Jaime's arm, "I am truly sorry. I had hoped that the slim chance of her survival might be enough. But she was simply too early, I did everything that I could, it just wasn't enough."

"Take her away. Make sure that her body is cremated," Jaime instructed, "We have too long a journey a head of us to consider keeping her whole, but her ashes will be buried at the crypt in Casterly Rock. She is still a Lannister."

Myrin bowed her head, "Yes ser, I will do as you bid."

As they had made their little exchange, Meidani had forced herself upright, though it clearly took a lot of effort. Her brow was covered in sweat and her hair haloed her face in silver. For Meidani it felt as if everything in her world was centred on the small bundle that Myrin carried in her arms. Nothing else mattered, that was her whole focus. Other things and people in the room paled into the background. The bond she felt to the small bundle was such that it made her heart ache. And she refused to acknowledge the truth that the tears already pricking her eyes told her.

"Myrin? Where is my baby?" she asked, "Bring me my baby."

"Go," Jaime commanded the healer, "Don't let her see."

"NO!" Meidani cried; guessing what he was talking about.

Myrin left the tent, as Meidani launched herself from the bed. She tore across the tent and tried to reach the healer. Jaime stood in her way though, a solid wall that she fought to pass.

"Out of my way Lannister! That's my baby! Let me pass!" she shouted hysterically.

"I can't," he replied, "I can't little dragon, I really can't."

Meidani began to punch at his chest, and he took it all, letting her vent out her emotions on him.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" she repeated; voice screeching through several octaves.

"She's dead Meidani, our little daughter is dead," Jaime said.

"No. NO!" Meidani sobbed, "It's not true. No, no, no, no, no, no." she began rocking back and forth, her hits upon his chest growing weaker, he held her arms to stop her.

"I wish that it wasn't," Jaime said, "But it is, and there is nothing that I can do to change it. Nothing."

The burst of energy that Meidani had been running on gave out, her legs collapsed beneath her, and it was only Jaime's grip on her arms that kept her upright. She sobbed brokenly and he held her to him. Her arms wrapped around him, and he picked her up; holding her in his arms as she cried into his chest. He smoothed her hair with one hand, murmuring nonsense words of comfort to his distraught wife. He carried her over to the bed and sat down upon it, resting her in his lap, but keeping his arms locked around her.

"No, no, no, no," Meidani kept on repeating the word; saying it as if it were a chant which could return her child to her arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Jaime murmured; giving her all the comfort that he knew how.

"It's not true, it can't be true," she muttered, "There must be a mistake."

"I wish little dragon, I wish with all my heart."

"Not my little baby, not my little girl, my darling child. She can't be gone, she just can't be. It's not possible, it just isn't," she rambled; she looked up at Jaime as if she just recognised him, "Get away from me! Don't come here me!"

She tried to push him away from her, but he only help her all the tighter.

"Don't touch me! Just let me go!" she resumed her hitting tactic.

He said nothing, but simply drew her closer to him. She had no way to hit him now, and reverted back to sobbing uncontrollably. She threw her arms around his neck and cried her heart out as he gently stroked her. She was shocked when water that wasn't from her tears fell across her face, she looked up at Jaime, to see tears rolling down his cheeks. He did not sob however, but maintained his composure as best he could, main focus on comforting his wife. She reached out a hand and brushed the tears from his face, he held it there. And then allowed a sob to escape him.

"She was my daughter as well," he whispered brokenly, "_My_ little girl."

The two of them clung to each other that night, neither willing to let the other one go. They cried and wept throughout the long night, and no one dared disturb them. Come the morning they would be on the move again, and they would have to try and shoulder their grief. But tonight was theirs, and it seemed to last an eternity.

**Oh dear gods, I cried so much while writing this. It is just not conceivable how much I bawled.**


	19. Cast Adrift But Still Afloat

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana  
><strong>

Chapter 19: Cast Adrift But Still Afloat 

The day after she lost the baby the party kept on travelling, overall it felt as if nothing had happened for everyone else, but Meidani's world had been shattered; again. She felt literally empty, the small weight in her belly that she had just been getting used to was now gone, and her little baby had been taken away. She had not even had to chance to see her little girl, but she ashes now resided in a box within her tent. Jaime wanted to bury her at the crypt in Lannisport, she supposed that made sense. Castle Oakwood had been razed to the ground during Robert's rebellion, and using the Targaryen crypt just wasn't even an option for her. She avoided looking at the small box, but her eyes constantly drifted to it, and they always filled with tears no matter what she did. She couldn't take this, it was just too much of a blow in her already off track life.

Myrin had not left her side since the incident, and Meidani was grateful to have the midwife around. She provided comfort for Meidani, always knowing what to say or do to help her when she felt like she was about to crumble. Most people in the camp did not go beyond sympathetic looks, still too weary to approach her. Some people did though, and much to her surprise, the Queen was one of them. She had never been particularly friendly to Meidani before, but the morning after her miscarriage, the Queen had come to see her.

"I understand you know," had been the first words out of her mouth, "I lost my first boy."

Meidani's eyes had still been red from her crying, and her throat was raw from her sobs, "Does it get easier?"

Pain flitted across the Queen's eyes, "No, the pain never goes away. But you learn to manage, you learn to keep things in focus."

Even more surprising than the Queen, was how Jaime acted. After the first night when they had held each other as they had both cried, she had expected him to pull away, or maybe she had expected herself to pull away. But he stayed with her whenever he could, and every night he provided warm arms for her to lie in as she once more cried herself to oblivion. He was actually acting rather nice towards her, a concept that the Meidani of a few months ago would have fallen to the ground with hysterics at, but nevertheless it was true. She would never forget the first time she saw his tears running down his face, she had somehow assumed that the man just didn't cry, but he had cried that night. He had cried for the loss of his child, for the gap left by his baby girl. But after that he remained strong, acting like a solid rock in her life. She was surprisingly grateful to him, another curious emotion to feel about Jaime Lannister.

In all the rush and emotion that came with losing her baby, Meidani had forgotten about Lynessa until the next morning. Then she remembered that her horse now lay dead on the side of the road, and no one who passed her by would even care. She had tried to order some servants to go back and bury her, but they had refused.

"Sorry ma'am, but we don't leave the convoy on anyone's orders except the king."

"Is that so? Even when the orders come from me and you know that if they are not followed…" Jaime had let his threat hang in the air.

The boy that Meidani had been talking to had paled, "Yes ser."

"One more thing," Jaime called after the hurrying boy, "You will ride to the nearest village, and you will find the stonemason there. You will the proceed to pay him whatever he demands for carving a monument in the shape of a horse. Then you shall place this above where my wife's horse fell. Do you understand?"

"Ser… what is they don't have a stonemason?"

"Are you an idiot? Then you go into the next village, and the next. I do not care if you have to turn tail and ride all the way back to King's Landing. You will do this."

"Yes ser," the boy consented; albeit grumblingly.

"A monument?" she had gaped at Jaime.

He shrugged, "The horse saved your life, I'd give it more, but on the King's Road it might look a little out of place."

Meidani has smiled at that, "Thank you."

After losing both her horse and the baby, Myrin was insistent that Meidani ride in the carriage with the Queen and her younger children. Meidani had not seen reason to put up a fight to this, so she had simply consented. She felt so enclosed riding in this box on wheels, and she longed to feel the wind on her face. But the children kept her occupied at least, she had never really spoken to the royal children before, and Tommen and Myrcella seem eager to make up for lost ground with their aunt. They chatted endlessly, and plagued her with questions. Meidani answered them as best as she could, and in turn she regaled the children with tales that her mother had taught her. The Queen stayed silent for the most part, but she sometimes joined in the conversation, and she was now more courteous towards Meidani. Oh they would never be fast friends, but the bitterness had stopped. There had been a single moment of awkwardness on their first day of travel together though.

"Aunt Meidani, why are you in the carriage with us?" princess Myrcella had inquired.

It was an innocent question, and the princess meant nothing by it, but it was still a blow to Meidani. She fought to keep herself in check, and not let the tears roll down her cheeks in floods once more.

"Her horse had a fall yesterday, so she is without mount," Cersei provided the explanation; Meidani did not contest it.

Over time she learnt to balance herself more, and she learnt to keep a better handle on her emotions. In the night, she allowed her walls to crumble, and she wept in Jaime's arms. But during the day she put up the shields that she had previously cast down, and she managed to go on as normal. Cersei was right, the pain did not ease one hairsbreadth as the weeks went past, but she did learn to manage. The feeling of emptiness slowly began to ease away, and somehow her life seemed to gain some form of perspective again.

She didn't know if it was just because she was now travelling in an enclosed space, or if there was some other reason, but to her it felt like they were stopping more and more often. Not that she was complaining, any chance to get out of the carriage and get some fresh air would be lovely. Three weeks into their journey, just one week out of Winterfell, they had another one of these stops. Meidani nearly beat the children in her effort to get out, but not quite. The clear afternoon was bright with the sun shining down upon them, but there was still that Northern chill in the air. Word had it that the Starks proclaimed that Winter was coming, and they were never wrong given time. Meidani had grown up mostly in summer, she hardly remembered the last winter, but if it was coming; then they would all have to brace themselves. Word also had it that they predicted a long and bitter winter, and that the men of the Night's Watch were getting restless.

She tried not to let these thoughts trouble her though, and she wondered aimlessly around the camp. She stopped one of the servants.

"How long are we resting for?" she asked.

"I'm not sure ma'am, but I hear that it might be for some time," the young girl answered, "Sorry for the delay."

"No, that's perfectly fine," Meidani gave the girl a smile and sent her on her way.

Since they would be stationary for a while yet, Meidani decided to explore beyond the boundaries of the camp. Doubtless people had seen her go, and someone would be sent to inform her when the party resumed their travels again. Walking through a line of trees, and followed the sound of a trickling stream, wanting to reach some fresh water. The green boughs filtered the light, and she walked through an almost otherworldly haze of gold. She made it through the trees, and found the source of the water noise. A small brook ran by, the crystal clear water sparkling under the light of the afternoon sun. She walked over and bent down to take a drink, the cold making her teeth ache, but the refreshment that came with it was gratifying.

"You look beautiful."

Meidani spun around upon hearing her husband's voice, he was sitting down and leaning against a tree. She had not noticed him before, but he was now studying her in a lazy way.

"With the light catching in your pale hair, you almost don't look real," he continued.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," she said; ignoring his comments.

"You always do that," he noted.

"Do what?"

"Whenever someone, even if it isn't me, give you a compliment you go on as if nothing had happened. Like you don't want to even acknowledge it."

Meidani shrugged, "I suppose that it must be something that I just picked up."  
>"Not from either of your parents I can tell you that."<p>

"What are you doing out here?"

"Same as you probably. Taking the time to get away from camp so that I can be wrapped up in my thoughts without anyone else seeing."

"Would you like some privacy?" she inquired.

"No, well at least not from you. Come sit by me."  
>Where she normally would have strode back to camp, and actually went and took a seat beside him. Leaning her back against his chest, she closed her eyes as the pain she had kept in all day threatened to spill over. She shook with the effort of holding in her sobs, and Jaime put his arm protectively around her shoulders.<p>

"How do you do it Jaime? How do you manage not to cry?" she asked.

Jaime was silent a moment before replying, "I don't know, I suppose that it's just something that I've always been told to do. My father always said never to cry because it showed weakness, and so I never really did."

"How do you keep it all inside?"

"Sometimes I don't," he murmured, "Sometimes… it's like there is something within me struggling to get out. But I have a duty to the Realm, I cannot afford to lose control."

"I envy that," she said.

He tilted her face up so that he could gaze into her eyes.

"No you don't little dragon. You know me, you are the one person who voices what I am truly like in public. Others don't because they fear me, rightly so as well, I kill without thought or mercy."

"You and how many other men?"

"That's not the point little dragon."

"Then what is the point?"

"Never end up like me. Never just fold away what you think and feel, even if you know that it is right, and just shove it to the back of your mind. Don't be a afraid to laugh and to cry, don't be afraid to simply _be_."

"Someone's full of wisdom this afternoon," she teased.

He smiled faintly, "I'm always full of wisdom."

"And modesty, let us never forget your astounding level of that," she added.

He laughed, but then sobered again.

"How are you feeling today?" he inquired.

Meidani knew that he didn't mean just in the general sense, and took in a deep breath.

"It feels like there is a great weight pressing down on me," she confessed, "trying to stifle the very air in my lungs. There is an emptiness inside of me that feels as if it doesn't ever want to be filled again. My heart feels like it is strained and broken. I feel… not _right_. What about you? I feel bad because all I seem to ever do is cry while you hold me, I never even asked…"

Jaime shifted his position and pulled Meidani up so that she was sitting across his lap. He looked down at her.

"Don't worry about me. I… Losing my daughter before I even got to meet her, it hurts me more than I thought a thing could. But because of who I am, I cannot wear my emotions when I please. I forget even when in private that I can let go. Holding you in my arms, giving you comfort through the same thing that is hurting me, that is enough. It helps me."

Meidani held a hand to his face, "You _can_ cry, if you want to."

He smiled sadly, "I hardly remember how."

They stayed like that for some time. She sitting across his lap with her arms around him; he holding her as close as he could. Neither of them ended up crying, they just held each other as they both drifted in their own sea of thought and memory. It was strange, had the old Meidani seen this, she probably would have gone off to throw up somewhere. But now she somehow was not so against having Jaime near her. She didn't know when _exactly _the shift had occurred, but it had probably happened the night when she lad lost their baby, and he had held her all night long as she cried her heart out. She didn't know how, or fully why yet, but her feelings towards Jaime were no longer exclusively hatred. There was… friendship? She didn't know how to describe it, but the closest word she came up with was _closeness_.

He sighed, "We should probably head back to the camp now. I can hear a lot of nose which means moving on."

"Okay."

She got up and they began walking back together, she did not pull away when he took her hand.

"Jaime?"

"Hmm?"

"When did you start being like this? I mean, when did you start acting… nice?"

He smiled, "Quite a while ago I believe, you've just been too preoccupied to notice."

His words puzzled her even more than her emotions, but she said nothing more as they walked.

**Daw! They be cute ^.^  
>Thanks for reading, leave a review?<br>Another sporadic reminder about the Awards! Don't' forget now ;D**


	20. Winterfell

**Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, Anissa, thePatient07, Garota Annima**

**Don't forget about the Christmas Awards! Check out the forum and place your votes :D**

Chapter 20: Winterfell

They were due to arrive at Winterfell later than afternoon, and Meidani found the tension rising in the carriage. The children had nothing to do with in, and Meidani did not think that they even picked up on anything strange. But as they had grown closer to Winterfell, Cersei had grown more unsettled. Meidani did not know what the problem was, and did not really care to ask. Despite the Queen's condolences and help when Meidani had miscarried, they were still not on the best of terms. Meidani felt that Cersei still held a grudge against her simply because Jaime had married her, which had somehow interfered with Cersei's plans for him. So the ride for the last part of the trip was largely silent, which suited Meidani just fine.

She did wonder though, why was the Queen so on edge in the North? Was it the place? Or was it perhaps the destination, and what that would bring. It was no secret that the Queen had originally wanted Jaime to become Hand of the King. But Meidani just could not see Jaime doing that job, neither could he clearly, for he declined. And now King Robert Baratheon rode for a month to reach the North, and ask his oldest friend to return to King's Landing as Hand. From what Meidani had heard of Ned Stark, he was an honourable man, and she privately hoped that he would decline the offer as well. King's Landing was a hot bed of backstabbing betrayal and dark secrets, Meidani didn't even get out much in the capitol and she knew this, Ned would likely try to clean it up and get buried in the process. And because he was husband to Catylen, Lysa's sister, Meidani cared for her friend's family. She hoped that Lysa was doing okay. She had seemed to be in a rather frail mental state when Meidani had left the capitol, and she hoped that Lysa was coping. Robin would likely help her, although Meidani wondered at their relationship. Robin was six years old, but quite weak, she hoped that he would strengthen as he grew older.

When they stopped for their final rest, Meidani was _very_ eager to escape the carriage. The children may be able to ignore their mother's strange moods, but Meidani certainly wasn't. It felt like there was a storm brewing in there, and she was glad to be out in the clear once more. There may be grey clouds overhead, but Meidani breathed in the sharp Northern air with relief. She loved it here, it was so wild and beautiful, but also dark and mysterious. She could almost feel the land around her thrumming with all of the memories that it must bear. The Stark's had the oldest lineage in the Seven Kingdoms, stretching back beyond even the reign of the Targaryens, when they had been Kings in the North. She looked forward to meeting them.

"Little dragon!"

Meidani sighed, only one person in the camp would ever call her that, she did not turn as she replied.

"What do you want Jaime?"

"I love it when you say my name."

"You do? Maybe I'll revert back to using Lannister then… I'd hate to over inflate your already over inflated ego."

"As you wish, do you want to turn around?" he asked.

A small smile played with her lips, "Why would I want to do that?"

"I don't know, you just might."

Meidani turned cautiously at first, but abandoned that notion when she caught sight of what he had been wanting her to see. Jaime was holding the reins of a black horse, which snuffled delicately at his shoulder. Meidani ran forward and placed her hands upon the horse, running them up and downs its proud neck.

"I must confess to feeling rather jealous. I don't think that I've ever gotten a welcome anywhere near as warm as this horse," Jaime joked.

"That's because you're nowhere near as pretty," she retorted.

He raised his brows, "Oh I can tell you several people who would beg to differ. You know that some even say that I am the most handsome man in all the Seven Kingdoms."

"Blind people don't count."

"Ouch," he feigned hurt, "You wound me little dragon."

"Did I? Oh I am so sorry, perhaps you should not invite attack then, you know that I'll win."

He smirked, "I remember when I used to say that to you."

The laughter fell from her face and guilt rushed in, had she just been joking around with him? That wasn't part of the plan now was it. But what was the plan? She didn't even know anymore. They stood in silence for a while, Meidani because she was too busy thinking, and Jaime because he either didn't realise the impact of what he had said or he just didn't care. Old Meidani would have jumped to the later conclusion, but new Meidani was unsure about almost everything. Strange how when she had been plucked out of seclusion she had been fine with suddenly being surrounded by people, mainly because most of her energy was focused on hating Jaime, but now she was suddenly awkward. She didn't know how to act or what to say. The spell was broken though, when the horse tried to snuffle at Meidani's face. She brushed it away good naturedly, and continued to pet it.

"Where did you get this from?" she asked; steering the conversation away, if Jaime noticed a change in her voice he didn't comment on it.

"One of the knights suddenly found that he had a spare horse, I thought that you might like to ride for the rest of the journey," he offered her the reins, "She's a good horse."

She took them gingerly, "A _spare _huh?"

"Yes, do you doubt my word?"

She rolled her eyes, "When have I not?"

"You do make a valid point, however I am not at liberty to divulge my sources," he tipped her a secretive wink.

"Does she have a name?" Meidani inquired.

"Not yet, he bought her in King's Landing just before leaving as a spare horse. Never got around to riding or naming the beast, she's all yours."

Meidani looked at the horse, taking in her proud figure and coal black coat. She picked out a name, no more heroes, just a name.

"Black Dawn," she announced.

His brow furrowed slightly, "Black Dawn? Interesting name, why pick that?"

"Naming Lynessa for a great hero did not help her in the end," Meidani whispered, "Black, because of her coat; Dawn, because of the stage in my life at which she entered."

"Lynessa was a good horse, she died bravely," Jaime praised, "I hope that Black Dawn is equally as good for you, and does not meet the same fate."

"Thanks Lannister," she said.

"Anytime little dragon."

"No really, thank you. It's been a nightmare in the carriage today, it seems that your sister is a bit…" Meidani trailed off as she was unable to explain what exactly the Queen was.

"Ahh yes, that would be because we are journeying to Winterfell and Robert means to name Eddard Stark as the next Hand."

"I know that she wanted you to have it, but surely it can't be that bad that Ned is being offered the job considering that you turned it down. And what doesn't she like about Winterfell? I haven't seen the castle, but from that I've seen of the North it's a lovely place."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Rugged, wild, dark and mysterious all at once."

"You like things like that?"

"You're just trying to change the subject now, what is the matter with your sister?"

Jaime sighed, "Before marrying Cersei, Robert was engaged to Lyanna Stark. When she was kidnapped by the Targaryen prince, that is what sparked his rebellion. She didn't survive though, so he married my sister; but he can't let go. Stupid fat idiot," he muttered the last part under his breath.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Meidani said; rather unsure of what else she could say.

"I suppose that's just how it is with marriage these days. Not always though."

"What do you think that ours is?"

"I think that at the moment everything is up in the air, but we'll see when it all comes back to ground again. I'll catch you."

**/*0*/**

Myrin wasn't exactly happy that Meidani would be riding again, but the midwife no longer had any argument to put up against it. Meidani was grateful that she had stayed, even after Meidani's miscarriage; the healer had been a great help and comfort to her. She constantly fussed around with Meidani, acting in a very motherly way that made Meidani's heart ache for her own mother. She felt like the worst kind of traitor. Her mother's death had been half a year ago now, and she found that she thought of her less and less as time went on. It felt like her mother was slipping away from her, or that she was letting her slip. What was worse is how Meidani was unsure these days of what exactly it was that now lay between her and Jaime. That felt like an even worse betrayal, he was the one who had murdered her mother, and that she had to keep reminding herself of that was not a good sign.

She was glad that she could ride though, the stuffy carriage and brooding Queen would not exactly have helped Meidani try to sort through her tangled thoughts. Not that riding was exactly helping to untangle them either, but it at least made her feel a little better. Black Dawn was certainly a good mount, and Meidani hoped that she would have time to explore the North on her during their stay at Winterfell. They were not far now, and Meidani could just see the top of the castle in the distance. She found her excitement at finally getting to meet the Starks bubbling up, Lysa had told her about them at a length when she had been in King's Landing.

The procession made their way through the outskirts, the whole population was gathered to greet the King on his rare visit so far away from home. Prince Joffrey rode towards the head of the procession, smirking arrogantly as he went, while the King came later. Meidani rode near to the carriage, so she would be presented along with the Queen and royal children. Jaime rode with the rest of the Kingsguard. Out of the corner of her eye Meidani saw a little girl running through the crowd with a helmet on, she bit her lip lightly to stop from laughing. It was probably just a wild stab in the dark guess, but from what she knew, Meidani guessed that Arya Stark had wanted to get a closer look at the guests before they reached her family.

When they arrived in the courtyard, the Starks and the rest of their household were assembled. They dropped to their knees when Robert dismounted, only rising when he made a faint gesture to Eddard. The King looked his old friend up and down, then announced.

"You got fat."

Eddard said nothing and kept his face blank, he did however make a meaningful glance down to the King's own distended belly. The two men burst out laughing and clasped each other close. Robert then proceeded to greet the rest of the Stark family, as Cersei and the children climbed out of the carriage. Meidani took this as a hint, so she dismounted. Jaime and the rest of the Kingsguard slipped of their helmets, Meidani suppressed an eye roll when Jaime brushed back his hair.

"That's Jaime Lannister, the Queen's brother, he married-" Arya Stark whispered; slightly loudly.

"Shut up," Sansa hissed.

Cersei stepped forward, and Eddard bowed to kiss her hand.

"Your grace."

"Ned, take me to your crypt, I want to pay my respects," Robert commanded.

"We've been riding for a month my love, surly the dead can wait," Cersei said; annoyance behind her veil of calm.

"Now," Robert affirmed; and walked away.

Meidani suspected that it was Lyanna Stark that the King wished to pay his respects to, and noticed the tightening of the Queen's face. Robert and Ned walked away, leaving everyone standing around in the courtyard.

"Where's the Imp?" Arya asked her sister.

"Shut up," Sansa replied again.

Meidani looked around, sure enough Tyrion Lannister could not be seen. She hadn't been the only one to hear the young Stark girl's whisper.

"Where is our brother? Find the little beast," Cersei instructed Jaime; he remounted and rode back out to the edge to the castle.

Meidani stepped up then, and presented herself in front of Catylen.

"Lady Stark," she acknowledged, bowing.

"You must be Meidani, I have heard of you," Catylen replied.

"You sister begged me give you this," Meidani whispered; discreetly slipping the note to Catylen, "And she told me to tell you; family, Duty, Honour."

"How is Lysa?"

"She was… distraught the last time that I saw her. I fear that she may never be the same again," Meidani admitted, "But she was always good to me during my time at King's Landing. She and Jon both."

"Welcome to Winterfell me dear," Catylen gave her a warm smile.

Meidani grinned down at Rickon, then moved down the Stark line. Robb stood tall and proud, he acknowledged her with a bow of his head; oh yes, the Starks had indeed once been Kings. Sansa curtsied, Arya met her gaze with one of curiosity and Bran… Meidani had to blink to clear her head, he looked rather a lot like Jonah; the boy who had first betrayed Meidani. She kept on calling it that, but all he had done was trick her really, how strange to think of that now. She managed a smile and the boy grinned back. Once the massive royal party had been dealt with, they started making their way into the castle. Someone that Meidani didn't know, or recognise their appearance from a description considering that she didn't know anyone here, fell into step beside her.

"So, I hear you're the Kingslayer's wife," the man said.

"What of it?"

"Well, you're beautiful. If you ever have free time when the Kingslayer is busy…" he left his suggestion trailing off.

"Uh huh, who are you?" she asked.

He drew himself up proudly, "Theon Greyjoy."

"Ahh the hostage. Well I'll remember your name and face Theon, and I will refer it to my husband should you ever insinuate anything like you just did again. I can't imagine that he would be very happy, and he does have quite the temper…" this time it was Meidani who let her sentence trail, but hers was a threat.

That got rid of him fairly quickly, and Meidani continued on to her room with only the servant guiding her for company. Technically it was her and Jaime's room, but he wasn't her at the moment. As she walked, she considered the threat that she had made to Theon, and realised that it was true. Jaime probably would gut any man who tried anything with her, either that or worse. She frowned, how strange to know that she had that kind of protection. From _him_ no less. She added the thread to the tangle in her head, perhaps one day she would sort it all out.

**Sorry about the late update, spent a lot of time studying yesterday.  
>I'll try to update again today, but may not be able to finish the chapter as I have quite a bit on in the afternoon.<br>Thanks for reading! Hope that you liked it ;D**


	21. Feasts And Memories

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana, Garota Annima, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x,  
><strong>

Chapter 21: Feasts And Memories

Jaime returned later in the evening, apparently he had found his brother in a brothel. Meidani had rolled her eyes at that. Not even one day in Winterfell and Tyrion was off whoring, that dwarf really had no limits when it came to that kind of thing. Meidani toyed with the idea of telling Jaime about her encounter with Theon Greyjoy, but rejected it. He probably would get angry and do something irrational, Theon hadn't done anything beyond imply, so Meidani didn't exactly see the need for him to be punished. Jaime might have other ideas though, considering the kind of man that he was. And while the thought of seeing Greyjoy squirm was tempting, his actions hadn't been deserving of it.

"So what do you think of the Starks?" Jaime asked.

"Hmm? Oh, Eddard and Catylen seem to be very good people. Robb looks like he'll be a fine leader some day, Sansa is a pure lady, Arya just wants to be somewhere else, Bran… he's just a boy wanting to grow, Rickon is simply just a boy for now. They are a wonderful family though, very nice towards me."

"Well why wouldn't they be? You have grace, charm and beauty," Jaime listed off.

"Not to mention Targaryen features," she added dryly, "I saw Ned Stark take them in when I arrived, he knew me from the start."

"Ned Stark is one of those who has put the past behind him, he has no quarrel with the Targaryens. It annoys Robert to no end."

"Well what can they do? They're stuck across the Narrow Sea and have absolutely no way of getting back without being slaughtered."

"You don't show much care for you siblings," Jaime noted.

"How do I even consider them as such? I have never met them, and their father's reputation is not exactly a good thing to go by."

"He's your father as well," Jaime reminded.

"Only by blood."

Jaime sighed, "Do you remember this?"  
>Meidani turned to look, he was holding the carved lion that his father had given them.<p>

"Hard to forget, has to be the strangest wedding present."

"But it has its uses."

"You're kidding me? Your ancestors _actually_ used it in the way that your father said?"

"Yes."

"Ha!" Meidani barked out the laugh, "Sorry, but it's just… I don't know, it just doesn't seem plausible."

"Well whatever you think, I don't like being in a place that doesn't have people loyal to me. Therefore, you are to go along with the un-plausible act of using this."

"Are you actually serious?" Meidani checked.

"Perfectly so."

She heaved a sigh, "You just go even stranger than ever before Lannister."

"I try to keep things interesting little dragon."

"What do you want to do with it then?"

He placed the lion atop the dresser, "If you're just going out, put it in the top right corner. If it hasn't moved and I can't find you, then I'll get the entire bloody guard looking, understand."?

"What if I simply forget?" she inquired

"Then the whole guard is going to be rather annoyed," he replied dryly.

"Fine then, have it your way. But aren't people going to question why in the seven hells you have a lion on top of your dresser?"

"I think that they'll just put it down to Lannister pride."

"Well it would be an easy assumption I suppose, considering the large amounts of it that you have."

"You have just as much as any Lannister little dragon, yours just comes with a little more fire."

"A lovely reminder of my unwilling heritage."

"It could have been worse."

"Oh yeah?" Meidani snorted, "How?"

A mischievous glint hit his eye, "you could have been a Frey."

Meidani nearly gagged. Walder Frey was a revolting man of close to ninety years of age, people had lost count of the number of children he had through his numerous wives. He was well known for his untrustworthiness. Even House Tully, to which he was sworn, did not fully trust him. Everyone was just waiting in hope for him to die so that perhaps things might get easier. She pitied anyone who was a part of his impressive brood.

"My point exactly," Jaime announced triumphantly.

"You think you're so funny don't you?"

"It is one of my many talents yes. I do believe that this is the part where you comment on my modesty, or lack thereof."

"Well it's no fun if you beat me to it," Meidani grumbled, "How long are we remaining in Winterfell for?"

Jaime shrugged, "As long as the King desires. And he will probably spend the whole time trying to get Ned Stark to agree to come South."

"Doesn't Eddard want the job? If that's the case then why force him?"

"He is a Northerner, he'd rather be up here in the cold where he can remain with his family. He wants no part of King's Landing, I do not remember Lord Stark even leaving his home for anything that didn't have war as a root cause. But Robert wants him South, and the King tends to be blind to others opinions; how he has managed to keep the Iron Throne this long gods only know."

"You don't hold your King in very high standing do you?" Meidani noted.

"Do I have reason to? What standing do you hold him in?"

"I don't know him, but judging from what I've seen, he is lazy and is not running the Kingdoms the way he should be. He does nothing to help his people, all he does is drink and whore."

"A fine view on Robert's character. And now you see why I don't like him? I am in the Kingsguard and as such I have to serve whoever the King may be, but that doesn't mean I have to like them, only protect them."

The words 'like you protected Aerys' were right on the tip of Meidani's tongue. But she held her silence, that was not an argument that she wanted to bring up. It was all very well for her to preach about the uselessness of Robert, and of how Jaime had backstabbed the last King he served, but then begs the question; where would they be without these events? It was nice to have something to blame Jaime for, but were his actions blameable? He had betrayed his oaths and killed the King he had sworn to protect, but if he hadn't… where would they all be?

**/*0*/**

A feast in Winterfell was quite something. The large hall packed with people, everyone eating, drinking and laughing. Filling the room with noise. At the far end, there were the tables at which the nobles sat; and this was where Meidani was situated. And she was glad of it, looking out over the crowd she cringed. She caught sight of the King wrapping his arms around a buxom serving woman, and winced that he would be to open in front of his wife. The Queen watched everything with a pinched expression, lightly making small talk with Catylen Stark. For all her coldness, Meidani found herself pitying the Queen. At least her husband never did the things that Robert did. Meidani didn't notice the girl behind her, until Arya tapped her on the shoulder.

"You're Jaime Lannister's wife," she announced.

"And you are Arya Stark," Meidani replied.

"Is it true that you're a dragon? That you can't be burnt?" Arya inquired.

Meidani smiled, "Why don't you fetch me a candle and see."

The little girl was gone and back in a flash, holding a candle in front of Meidani. She took it, and placed it on the table.

"Watch," she commanded; and held her hand in the flame.

The girl's eyes widened, "Wow. Can you teach me to do that?"

Meidani laughed and withdrew her hand, "I'm afraid not, I don't even know how to do it myself."

"It is because you're a Targaryen bastard?" Arya asked.

Meidani winced, she certainly was blunt, "I suppose so."

"I don't see what's wrong with that. My brother Jon is a bastard, but he's always been good to me. Mother doesn't like him though, that's why he isn't here. She thought that it would be inappropriate in front of the King."

Meidani gestured to herself, "Well I'm a bastard, yet here I sit."

"But your married to Kingslayer, that makes you important."

"Does it now? Funny, no one told me that before," Meidani remarked.

"What's it like in King's Landing? Mother says that if father goes, Sansa and I will go with him. Sansa wants to, but that's only because she's going all moon-eyed over Joffrey."

"You want me to be honest? I prefer it in the North. The city is big I suppose, but it's so crowed and false. Up here, you know what you see and it is so wild."

Arya grinned, "I like it here too."

The little girl looked over at her sister, who was now whispering with her friend and looking at Joffrey; a glint entered her eyes. Before Meidani could stop her, she had put some grey paste in a spoon and flicked it at her sister. Sansa cried out and her friend started clearing it from her, several people burst out into laughter, further enraging Sansa.

"It's not funny! She always does this!" she exclaimed; clearly distraught over having been embarrassed in front of the Prince.

At a stern look from his mother, Robb Stark stopped laughing and walked over to his little sister. He picked Arya and up gently nudged her towards the door.

"Time for bed," he said; then game Meidani an apologetic look, "Sorry."

"It's no trouble, nice to talk to you Arya," she replied.

"Do you want to go for a ride tomorrow?" the little girl asked; brushing away her brother's hand.

"That would be great, I look forward to it."

Arya grinned, and Robb was finally able to begin frogmarching her for the door. Meidani smiled after the girl, and then returned to watching the crowd. After a few minutes she started to feel lightheaded though, perhaps the enclosed atmosphere and the loud noise was a bit too much for her right now. She began to feel dizzy, so she stood up and made her way for the door. Jaime looked up then, and stood to follow her, but she waved him back down; gesturing to her head to say that she just had a headache. He frowned, but resumed his seat. Meidani got out of the room, and made it out into the courtyard.

Almost immediately when she was free of the choking confines of the hall, she started to feel better. She breathed deeply of the sharp Northern air, letting it refresh her. Once she was entirely herself again, she noticed someone hacking away with their sword at a practice dummy. Taking in what she could of his appearance in the faint light, she guessed that this would be Jon; the bastard brother. She felt a rush of pity for him, being outcast by lady Stark. Meidani could see her reasons, but she didn't agree with them. Then again, how would she feel if Jaime came home with a bastard child? Then she remembered that she didn't care, or at least she kept telling herself that she remembered that. She walked over to the boy.

"Hey, you're Jon right?" she inquired.

He turned and dropped his sword point down, when he recognised her he bowed slightly, "Lady Lannister, why aren't you at the feast?"

"Please, just call me Meidani and never bow again," she begged, "And I needed to get out for some air. Arya told me that Lady Stark didn't want you there."

"Lady Stark doesn't want me anywhere near Winterfell. She'll be glad when I take the black."

"You're joining the Night's Watch? Why?"

"Because what else is there for me? I am a bastard who isn't wanted here, and the Night's Watch is a noble organisation. Guarding the Wall ever since it was built."

"I suppose we should all make out own choices about where we want to go and what we want to do with our lives. I know what it's like to not have that choice."

"Jon! I need a break from being in there, I don't know how your father stands it."

A new man came to join them, he was tall and lean, with a scar upon his face. Meidani guessed from his completely black attire that he was a member of the Night's Watch.

"Uncle Benjen," Jon greeted warmly, "You only went in half an hour ago."

"And that was enough, I'll go back later to save your father, but not just yet. Who's your lady friend?" Benjen gestured to Meidani.

"This is Meidani Lannister," Jon introduced.

Benjen's eyebrows rose, "A Lannister?"

"Only my marriage," Meidani clarified; stepping forward, "It's nice to meet you."

Benjen froze when he saw her face, and Meidani's offered hand went unnoticed. The man looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Uncle?" Jon inquired.

"Meidani, that was your name?" Benjen clarified.

"Yes, why?" Meidani inquired.

"Your colouring, Targaryen?" he asked.

"Again, yes. From my father, who I would not care to be associated with," Meidani replied.

"But your face, nothing there but your eyes belong to your father. You look exactly like your mother," Benjen breathed, "Penelope Cairhien. Am I right?"

Meidani frowned, "How do you know that? Did you know my mother?"

Benjen nodded, "I did. We were engaged years ago. I met her only twice though. Once when I went down to Oakwood, and she once journeyed to Winterfell."

"You were engaged?" Meidani repeated; shocked, her mother hadn't mentioned much from her past but surely she could have told Meidani this!

"We were, but I thought her dead after the Sack of King's Landing. I never knew that she had a daughter, with a Targaryen no less."

"I can assure you, it was not a willing conception. But you knew her? What was she like?"

Benjen frowned, "You keep using past tense, did something happen to her?"

Meidani's face fell, "My husband happened. We used to live alone, in secret, and I didn't even know who my father was until six months ago. But then we were found, and Jaime killed her."

"She was alive this whole time? Why did she not come to me? Or to any of her friends, we would have given her shelter."

"I don't know," Meidani admitted, "My mother was a woman of many secrets, she told me very few of them. I thought I knew her, but then if Tyrion Lannister is to be believed I did not know her at all. You were her fiancée; please tell me what she was like."

Benjen took a deep breath, "Penelope was a beautiful woman, she was doted on by her father and given whatever she desired. I know that she acted spoilt and even cruel at times, but whenever I saw her… it was like there was another side to her, one that she never let many people see. I loved her."

Meidani reached out her hand to him again, and this time he took it.

"I'm so sorry," Meidani whispered.

"Me too," Benjen said.

**Finished! I will try to write more in the weekend :D  
>Thanks for reading, don't forget to review ;)<strong>


	22. Northern Country

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana, ShineInTheStorm, thePatient07, Jolena, Garota Annima  
>And remember the Awards!<br>**

Chapter 22: Northern Country

Meidani ended up staying outside for some time, and Benjen never went back in to rescue his older brother, Jon resumed his practice and left the two alone. She grilled Benjen at a length about everything to do with her mother, and he answered her questions as best he could. She worried that perhaps she might be upsetting him by asking so many questions about the woman he had once loved, but he assured her that he was fine. A part of him still loved her mother, but it had been so long since he had taken the black and run away from it, that it didn't bother him too much. He in turn questioned her on what her mother had been like around her and how she had seemed. Meidani recounted everything that she could, and Benjen didn't seem too surprised at how much she had changed. Perhaps that was because he had been the one to see the goodness in her, so he knew that she was capable of it.

For Meidani, having Tyrion's words from Casterly Rock made into truth was a hard thing for her to grasp. All she had ever known her mother as was a kind woman who did everything to protect her daughter. But to hear that she had indeed acted out in the way that she had… it came close to shattering Meidani's image of her mother.

"Never let it do that," Benjen said.

"But she wasn't who I thought she was. She had this whole other personality, and-"

"Yes, she did have a whole other personality. But that should not change the way you view her, it certainly never changed my love for her. She is your mother Meidani, remember her with pride for the woman she turned out to be."

"She never told me _anything_ though. All I knew was which House she belonged to. She never said a word about her past, not one!"

"And what would you have done in her place? If you had a past filled with cruel things that you had done, and worse things that you had had happen to you, would you tell your little girl about those things?"

Meidani remembered the feeling of love she had towards her unborn daughter, and knew that she would never have told her the truth of her conception. Benjen was right, and now Meidani could understand why. Unfortunately it brought back the thoughts about her miscarriage, and sadness overwhelmed her.

"Meidani? I'm sorry," Benjen said, "perhaps I was-"

"No," Meidani interrupted, "It isn't' about you."

She realised then that, coming from the Wall, he might not have heard the news about her losing the baby, or even having a baby for that matter.

She took a deep breath, "A few months before we left King's Landing, I found out that I was pregnant."

"That son of a bitch!" Benjen exclaimed, "I'm going to-"

"Benjen! If you killed Jaime what would happen? You might be a sworn brother of the Night's Watch, but you are also still a Stark. Do you really want to start a battle between the lions and the wolves? Who would win? Would there even be a victor left standing?"

Her logic pacified him somewhat, "I don't see why you're defending the monster."

"Because I do not want a war. I fight my own battle against him, but I would hate to see the Starks drawn South. Your place in here, in the North, not down in the seas of deceit. Do you think that Eddard will take the King's Offer?"

"I don't know," Benjen admitted, "Ned and Robert have always been close, and twice he has followed the King from the North and into war. But things are different now, Winter Is Coming, he should not leave his seat at Winterfell. Nor do I think he wants to leave his family again. It would take something of grave importance to get him to King's Landing."

"I pray to the gods that he remains here," Meidani said.

"As do I. But tell me my dear, you said that you were pregnant? What…"

"I lost it one week into our journey. Someone tried to kill me, but my horse reared and took the arrow in my stead, I was thrown to the ground. At first I was fine, but then…"

"Where did this happen? Were you in the camp?" Benjen asked.

Meidani shook her head, "Just before I had had a spell of pain, so my midwife was making me rest before heading back to camp. She went back to set something up, but Jaime stayed with me. After my horse fell, he took off and killed the assassin, I do not know who he was or if he served anyone. But at he is dead now, so it matters not. Afterwards though… I felt more pain than ever. Jaime carried me back to the camp as fast as he could, calling for my midwife. But she was unable to save my child, I never even saw my baby girl. Never held her in my arms. All she is not is a box of ashes in my room, waiting for the crypt of Casterly Rock."

Benjen reached out and pulled her into his arms. She cried once more, but he held her close.

"I'm sorry Meidani, I am so sorry. No one should ever have to bear that grief, it is not the way of things for a parent to bury a child."

With an effort, Meidani composed herself and pulled away. She had remembered something that her mother had told her just before all of this had happened.

"_I did not know that I carried his child when I ran."_

If her mother hadn't known when she felt, then where had she been fleeing to?

"Benjen, before the Sack of King's Landing, did you and my mother manage any contact?"

"Penelope and I exchanged few letters at that time, she was hard because we were on opposite sides of the fight. I heard nothing from her for several weeks, then came the news of House Cairhiens extinction. I had nothing else to do with myself, so I went to the Wall. Manning it as my family has done so for years."

"It's just, before everything happened, my mother told me that she did not know that she was pregnant when she left King's Landing. I did not wonder until now where she had been leaving to. But I wonder now if perhaps she meant to find you? But if so, then why did she stop searching?"

"We can never know for certain now. But if your mother was trying to find me, I would have taken her in and hidden her from any who would dare do her harm. If however, she found that she was carrying the Mad King's child… Penelope was always a proud woman, she may have thought it would dishonour me somehow if she begged for help while carrying the child of another man. I would have helped her anyway, and then perhaps you would both be safe." He tipped his head back to gaze at the clear Northern sky, "We cannot change the past though, all we can do is learn and move forward."

"Is that why you went to the Wall? Surely there must have been something left for you."

"My fiancée, the woman I loved, was thought dead. My father and older brother, killed. My other brother was now to inherit title and land, but I? I had fought wars down South, but they all seemed so empty and meaningless. To fight for a great throne of crudely forged iron, one that you could just as easily lose, it all seemed to pointless. But the Night's Watch; we fight against something far older and more powerful. Their war started before the Wall was built, and it had never ended. So I joined the greater cause, guarding the Kingdoms against what lies beyond."

They talked some more after that, but then tiredness began to weigh down on Meidani. She had had a long journey, and now rest wanted its turn with her body. Benjen had also rode down from Castle Black, but if he was tired he showed no sign of it. Doubtless the life of a Night's Watchman was one of constant vigilance, and so he remained outside when Meidani went back into the Castle. Promising that they would talk more before he left. When she walked past the banquet hall, she could barely hear any noise. Had she and Benjen been talking for that long? She navigated the unfamiliar corridors as best she could, praying that the door she was opening was truly the one to her room. This was confirmed when she saw Jaime standing at the window, his back to her.

"When you implied that you were getting fresh air for a headache, I thought it might just be a small one. Clearly it was one hell of a headache to require so much fresh air," he noted; not turning.

Despite him not being able to see it, Meidani shrugged, "I was talking to Jon Snow for a while."

"Ahh, the bastard," Jaime said.

"Yes, so am I. But then his uncle Benjen Stark came out we talked at a length, and I found out that he was once engaged to my mother. Did you know this?"

"Yes," Jaime replied.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

"Why did you need to know? You did not even know who Benjen Stark was until tonight, so tell me little dragon, what difference would it have made?"

"It isn't about Benjen Stark, it's about not knowing that my mother was engaged before she was raped! I always thought that I knew her, but now to find that she was so different? First hearing it from your brother, now from her fiancée. How well did you know her Jaime? How much are you hiding from me?"

He turned around then, "In all honesty little dragon, I hardly knew your mother. I was a member of the Kingsguard, so I mostly stuck around the King. Your mother came to court occasionally, but for the most part she remained in Oakwood. I did now know her personally, I believe we only talked a grand total of one time. So forgive me for withholding information that I don't know."

"But you did know some things clearly, you knew about her and Benjen," Meidani retorted.

"Yes, and so did every other bloody person in the Seven Kingdoms," he remarked dryly, "Honestly little dragon, where did all of these accusations spring from?"

Meidani didn't even know; she was so tired. She just turned away and went to get changed. She remained behind the modesty screen as she brushed out her long hair, hoping to sort through some of her tangled mind at least. She did not mange this, and was just as confused as she ever had been when she climbed into bed. Jaime had already gotten in while she had been changing, but she turned her back to him. He stood right at the centre of her confusion, laughing as he tangled up the strands even further.

**/*0*/**

Meidani was walking down to breakfast the next morning, when she ran into Arya Stark. Or rather, Arya Stark _ran_ into her.

"Morning Arya, where are you running off to?" she inquired.

"I was going to find you, are you ready to go?" the little girl asked.

Meidani arched an eyebrow, "I was just going to have breakfast actually, have you eaten already?"

Arya shook her head, "but that doesn't matter. Bran's coming with us, and he got the kitchen staff to pack us some breakfast. I know the best spot!"

Meidani laughed, "Alright then, where's your brother?"

"Out by the horses, I had yours saddled for you." Arya grabbed Meidani's hand and tugged her along.

The girl was certainly insistent, Meidani had to give her that. Sure enough, Bran Stark was already mounted and waiting for them. Black Dawn was frisking around, no doubt eager for a ride that would allow her to go faster than a walk. And a grey mare stood waiting for Arya.

"What took you so long?" the boy demanded.

"We're here now," Arya shot back, "Come on Meidani."

As soon as the three of them were mounted, Arya took the lead. They remained at a walk while in the confines of Winterfell, but once they were outside, the children stretched their horses to a canter, then a gallop. Meidani whooped in delight as she urged Black Dawn on, it was such freedom to be going this fast! She relished the feel of the wind in her face, the sun on her neck. It was like she could just ride on forever, out into the wide Northern country.

"Race to the edge of the forest!" Arya suddenly called out; and spurred her mare on.

Meidani instantly urged Black Dawn forward, watching from the corner of her eye as Bran picked up his pace as well. In the end Arya won the race, having gotten a head start on the other two, while Bran came in second. Meidani was not at all put out at coming last, it had been sheer pleasure to be able to run like that.

"Do your parents mind you two going off on rides like this?" Meidani asked.

Bran shook his head, "Nope, we know the country around Winterfell like the backs of our hands. They know that we're safe here, and we have our Direwolves now."

It was true that the large pups had followed them all the way. Surprisingly the horses didn't seem bothered by them, perhaps they knew that they were no theat. Meidani still marvelled at the Direwolves, they were almost creatures of legend now. But to see them right in front of her, it was certainly something. Arya had named hers Nymeria, while Bran had yet to name his yet. But the wolves were as loyal to the children as anything ever could be, she knew that they would protect them with their lives.

Arya lead them to a small clearing in the forest with a small stream running through it. The children promptly began a splashing war, which Meidani managed to stay out of for a while, until Arya got her full in the face. Then she leapt in beside them and soaked them mercilessly. When they all slopped back over to the horses; Bran dug into his saddlebags to produce the promised breakfast. It was such a fine day, and it was lovely to best be so carefree around the young Starks. They did not see her as anything but who she was, and it was nice to feel so… included, even after knowing them for only a short space of time. The three of them ended up staying out all day; Arya and Bran showing her all around the nearby woods and plains. When she did get back to Winterfell, she did not like what she found waiting for her.

**Thanks for reading :D  
>Reviews anyone?<strong>


	23. Fallen

**Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, unknown,  
>Enjoy the chapter! This is one that comes under the M rating on the story.<br>**

Chapter 23: Fallen

When Meidani, Arya and Bran rode back into Winterfell; the whole place was in an uproar. Guards were running around the place, searching people's houses, and interrogating them. Meidani groaned, the guards wore Lannister colours, meaning that Jaime probably had something to do with this. Arya and Bran were just as puzzled.

"What's going on?" Arya asked.

"I really have not the faintest clue," Meidani replied.

One of the guards turned and saw her, he walked up briskly.

"Lady Lannister, is you would be so kind as to come with us."

"Not until you tell me what in the seven hells is going on here. Why are you searching these people?" she demanded.

"We were looking for you ma'am," he replied.

"But I've been out with Arya and Bran, the Starks know that."

"Maybe they do, but Ser Jaime certainly doesn't seem to."

"Urgh," Meidani slapped a hand to her forehead, "That absolute idiot excuse for a man."

"Please come with us now milady," the guard requested.

Meidani sighed, "Very well, but first things first. You must give the people whose lives you just made a mess of some compensation, they are not to blame for my husband's foolishness. Give each person who's house you searched, and every person that you interrogated, ten gold dragons. _Each_."

"Milady, I don't know that-"

"I am married to Ser Jaime Lannister, correct?" she asked him.

"Yes milady," he replied.

"And that therefore makes me a Lannister," oh how she hated to say that, "Am I right?"

"Yes milady," he repeated.

"I am I also correct in thinking that, as House guards, you serve _all_ Lannisters?"

"Yes milady."

"Then bloody well do as I command," she instructed, "The Lannister coffers can certainly afford the cost."

The man looked unsure of what exactly to do.

"Look here. Either you start doing what I just ordered you to. Or we could wait for a while until you do, which would no doubt keep Jaime waiting as well."

That certainly made up the man's mind, "Men, do as the Lady Lannister commands."

They hurried off, and soon the streets had returned to a normal state.

"Nicely done," Arya whispered to Meidani.

"Thanks," Meidani replied.

"If you will now come with me ma'am, your husband was pacing about the courtyard last I heard. In quite a temper too," the man informed her.

"Oh goody," Meidani muttered, "Well let's get to it then."

Bran and Arya stayed riding beside Meidani the entire way, and she was glad of their presence. However when they reached the courtyard, she saw that perhaps 'temper' may have been an understatement.

"You two better go straight to the stable, I'll see you later," she whispered.

"Are you sure? We could stay with you," Bran offered.

"No, just go, don't worry," Meidani assured.

"Find her damn you! How hard can it be to locate her? It's not like she could have gone far!" Jaime was shouting orders at his men, and didn't notice Meidani entering the courtyard.

One of the men shakily raised his arm to point her out, and Jaime whirled around. Anger flashed fire from his green eyes, and Meidani was actually surprised at how strong it was. But she didn't want to add fuel to the fire here, so she smiled serenely.

"Were looking for me Lannister?" she inquired.

Relief filled his expression for a brief moment, but then the anger was back. He strode quickly over to her, and lifted her down off of Black Dawn before she could dismount. He then grabbed her hand in a painfully tight grip, and proceeded to walk back into the castle, dragging her in his wake. Meidani kept a lid on her riding temper, and walked along with him as best she could so as not to draw attention. Although she suspected that the anger radiating off his drew enough attention from the people they walked past. Benjen looked angered by his actions, and stepped forward to intervene. But Meidani shook her head discreetly; she would deal with Jaime by herself. And considering that both men were wearing swords, she didn't want to know the outcome of what might happen if Benjen tried to stop Jaime.

"You know that I could just walk behind you? You don't need to turn your hand into a vice for my sake," she noted.

"Shut up," he snapped.

"Just a suggestion," she defended.

He didn't seem to find her 'suggestion' all that funny though. What in the seven hells was wrong with him? She was already a little bit tired from spending the whole day out riding with two energetic young children, and practically running to keep up with Jaime's long stride and not fall over wasn't helping. Not to mention that his grip on her hand had gotten quite painful, she had most certainly not been joking when she had compared it to a vice. He kept on walking down the corridors, and Meidani kept on walking with the occasional hop in order to keep up with his long stride. He did not stop until they reached their room, where he wrenched open the door and shoved her in. Slamming it behind him with a resounding bang, he turned to her, fury flashing. She gently nursed her injured wrist.

"Could you not have just asked me to come with you or something?" she inquired irritably, "That really hurt."

He didn't say anything, just kept on staring at her. The anger still shone in his gaze, but he just kept on staring at her.

"Are you going to say anything? What's the problem anyway?" she asked, "What did you have the guards out for? And why are you so pissed? Forgive the questions, I am just trying to understand why you overreacted to something so much."

"Overreacted?" he repeated; anger shaking his voice, "Overreacted?"

"Umm, yeah," she said.

"Where in the seven hells were you?" he burst out.

"Riding with Arya and Bran, do you not remember me telling you this morning?"

"You did no such thing," he shot back.

"Yes I did!" she exclaimed, "Just before I left for breakfast I said 'I'm going to go out with the Stark children today', is your memory so weak? I did not think that they happened until you were older."

"You should have moved the lion!" he cried out.

Meidani's jaw literally dropped open, "You're kidding me? I _told_ you what I was doing! You still expected me to move it? It's not my problem that you forgot!"

"I didn't know where you were, I was worried!"

"So? Why didn't you just ask one of the Starks? They knew that I was with Arya and Bran!"

He didn't say anything, but his gaze flicked away for just a brief second. Meidani was aghast.

"You _did_ ask them," she accused, "But you didn't believe them. What is _wrong_ with you?"

"I don't trust their word! You were just gone, and no one seemed to know where you were."

"Except of course everyone; all of whom you disbelieved. Did you not put two and two together when Arya and Bran also weren't present? Did you even _think_? Seven hells Lannister!"

"The North is dangerous, for all I know you could have been kidnapped or worse!"

He deliberately made reference to the incident on the Kingsroad, now that was just playing unfair. The anger that she had kept inside until now flared up, she eyes burst into flame and she stood up straighter.

"The North is the place where I have felt safest since you took me from my home. In King's Landing no one trusted me because of my heritage, they borderline hated me. Casterly Rock was no different. On the road you saw how much that was proven. But here? Here the people have only ever treated me with kindness. The Starks have been welcoming, more so than anyone in the capitol, and they have not judged me for things that a man I do not even want to be associated did! I have been here for one day and I already see that this is a better life than King's Landing. Here the people are honest. If a man is going to stab you, he'll go for your chest, not your back like a coward."

Jaime looked like he had been slapped in the face, Meidani knew that she had struck one of the rare sensitive nerves that the man had. Bringing up his betrayal of the mad King never went well, it was something that had always haunted him. But he said nothing, so Meidani continued her rant, pacing up and down the room.

"You never change do you? Is this just some sign of possessiveness? You don't even care about me, but because I'm your wife you feel that you own me! You _murdered_ my mother right in front of me. You kidnapped me, taking me away from everything that I had ever known. You _raped_ me then carted me, literally, to King's Landing. You got me to marry you, and as a result forced me into a shell of myself until I carried your child. Even then your main worry was for your precious heir. And you know what the worst part is? I hated you Jaime, I hated you with every single fibre of my being. You were the centre of _everything_ that was wrong in my life! Everything! I barely noticed anything about being in a new place because my whole focus was on my hatred of you. But somehow… as time went on… something changed. I never noticed until after I lost the baby, you were always there. I went to you for comfort every night and you just held and let me cry. And now… I don't know what I feel anymore! You have done so much wrong in my life, but… I don't know what's happening. Seven hells, I think that I'm starting to _care_ for you! Do you know what that feels like? I feel like I am betraying everything, my past, my _mother_. But that doesn't stop me. What does that say about me? That I am just another mad Targaryen? What is _wrong_ with me? And why the hell am I telling you all this? I don't know anything anymore. Things are just- Argh! This is all your fault!" she marched over and hit him in the chest, then she just kept on hitting him, "If you hadn't come into my life! If you hadn't ruined everything! If you hadn't made me bloody _fall_ for you! How? After all that you've done! None of this makes any sense! I hate you! No I don't… I-"

Jaime grabbed her wrists before she could land more hits on him, "Can you stop that now?"

"No!" she shot back, and struggled.

He manoeuvred her so that her back was against the wall, pressing himself close so that she couldn't escape. His proximity unnerved, especially after the rant that she had just had. Gods, why had she said those things? He leaned in close.

"Listen to me littler dragon, and listen well," he said, "I killed your mother, but I was under orders from my King. I could not disobey, and in all honesty at the time it really didn't matter a thing to me. But then there was you. The passionate Targaryen daughter; with eyes that looked like violet flames and hair like a river of moonlight. I forced myself on you, and that was wrong. But then I decided to take you for my wife, I still have no idea why, but that is what I chose to do. I thought that it was just because you were beautiful and had good bloodlines. It wasn't until after the wedding that I started to feel like there was something more. Not until you lost your fire did I realise that I would never want you without it. I tried for months to reach you! I tried so hard, and you did not see because of your clouding hate. Then on the journey here, you saw me for the first time. Gods Meidani, I don't know what it is that you've done to me, but don't ever stop doing it."

He leaned in even closer and kissed her. It wasn't brutal, but nor was it soft, it was a kiss of passion; like he had kept it inside him for so long, and it just had to burst out. She meant to pull away, but somehow she found herself kissing him right back, matching his passion with hers. His hands released Meidani's wrists, and travelled slowly up her arms. One the slid down to the small of her back to pull her closer, and the other tangled itself in her long hair. She put her hands to his chest, so that she could push him away, but found herself using a grip on his shirt to pull him closer. He deepened the kiss, and she followed him down into the deep. Her hands slid from his chest and around his neck, tangling themselves in his golden hair, she pulled him as close as she possibly could. He moaned against her mouth, and lifted her up in his arms, she wrapped her legs around his waist and neither of them broke the contact between their lips. He walked over to the bed, and they fell upon it in a tangle of wrapped limbs.

She kicked off her shoes, then slid her hands beneath his shirt and slipped it over his head. He didn't seem to mind, so she also aided him in removing his trousers. More passionate kissing followed that, and she feathered kisses down his neck and chest, judging from his moans of pleasure he enjoyed it. It wasn't long before his hands attacked the laces of her dress, managing to remove it in a far shorter space of time then her maids had ever managed; it seen joined his clothing in a heap on the floor. She flipped them over so that she was on top of him, and slowly lowered herself onto him.

For the first time they made love with both of them as eager participants. Meidani arched her back when spasms of pleasure took her, and Jaime seemed just as lost in ecstasy as she was. She panted out his name as he thrust into her, and he whispered hers like a prayer between kisses. When they were both utterly spent from exertion, she curled up beside him with his arms around her. She knew that she should feel guilty; she knew that she shouldn't have done what she just had. But there was not a single thought of regret in her mind. What did that say about her? That she had fallen for the man who had done so much wrong to her? What sort of person was she? But those thoughts didn't occupy her for long. In the moment, wrapped in the arms of Jaime Lannister, Meidani had never felt happier. The whole world could go to the seven hells, she could burn up the next time she played with fire, but this moment would never leave her. The perfection of having him like this, she would never forget. No matter what life bought her next, no matter how evil a person she was because of her actions, nothing would ever make her regret what had just transpired.

**Right, still feels odd writing those scenes…  
>But I hope that you guys liked the chapter!<br>I get the feeling that some of you might come after me and kill me in the next one…**


	24. Shattered Peace

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana, ShineInTheStorm, unknown, Anissa, Garota Annima  
>And remember about the Christmas Awards! Place your votes and please help me get the word around. Going to be a bit of a fail if I can't get enough people to make it a proper contest.<br>**

Chapter 24: Shattered Peace

The next morning dawned bright and clear, the sunlight falling across her eyes woke Meidani from her peaceful sleep. Her eyelids fluttered, wanting to open fully, but unable to do so while looking directly into the glare. She looked to the side, and found her eyes shadowed by something. Now that she could open them fully, she did so, and a smile rose to her lips. She lay wrapped in Jaime's arms, her cheek pressed against his warm chest. Memories from last night surged back, and she bit back the grin that threatened to open up her mouth. Carefully reaching up a hand, she gently brushed it against his sleeping face, not wanting to wake him.

"If I keep my eyes shut and pretend that I'm asleep, will you keep doing that?" he asked.

"Hmm, depends on the incentive," she bribed.

Without opening his eyes, he pulled her high up his chest, and gave her a soft kiss.

"Incentive enough?" he inquired.

She smiled against his lips, "Hmm, not quite."

He kissed her again, a little stronger this time, and flipped onto his back so that she was sprawled across his chest. Once he was done, his green eyes opened and he gave her a lazy smile.

"What happened to pretending that you're asleep?" she teased.

"I changed my plan when I saw that being awake held much nicer activities in store."

"Oh does it now? Such as?"

"Oh you are just asking for it now."

"Maybe I am."

The next few minutes was a bit of a haze for Meidani, simply just lying there and kissing Jaime. It felt so _right_ somehow, she didn't think of anything accept how perfect if felt to be in his arms like this. Eventually they had to pull away though, but Meidani saw in his eyes that he really didn't want to.

"As much as I would love to just stay like this all day little dragon, duty calls. But feel free to not wake up so soon tomorrow, I was quite enjoying watching you sleep."

Meidani laughed, "You do realise how creepy that sounds right?"

"Well I am a handsome seducer," Jaime said; giving her a mockingly menacing smile.

"Is that so? How many women do you seduce then?" she inquired.

"Not all that many actually, only the incandescently beautiful ones," he replied.

"And how many of them do you know?"

"Just one."

"And what is this girl like?"

He smiled and placed a hand against her cheek, "She is the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. She is also remarkably witty, and seems to enjoy making fun of me whenever she can. She is so full of fire that sometimes I fear that I might get burnt if I simply touch her. But I would never have her any other way."

"You sound quite besotted Lannister, I didn't think that you had it in you," Meidani remarked.

"Well I like to do the unexpected, give people a surprise."

"How long have you been awake exactly?" Meidani asked.

"Ever since the noise of people going off on the hunt began. Thank the gods Robert didn't make me go."

"I'm glad he didn't as well, perhaps then I wouldn't have had such a nice wake up."

"Hmm, I'll try to make sure that they're all this nice from now on." Jaime suddenly started studying her with curiosity.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just noticed something. We've been married for several months now, a little over half a year in fact, but I know hardly anything about you. Well, about things that you like, what you used to do. That sort of knowledge."

"Well, my favourite colour is green. Like forest green in the middle of summer, I suppose that come from growing up in a house surrounded by trees. When I was little I used to swim in the pool near my house, I liked to see how long I could hold my breath. I used to climb trees whenever I could, it gave my mother fits, she thought that I would fall and break my neck one day. As I grew older my mother started getting me to learn all about the history of Westeros and the Houses. I never thought that it would be useful considering that we lived such a secluded life. My earliest memory is of my mother holding me and crying, I never knew why, but that is the first thing that I remember." Meidani looked up at him, "Your turn."

"I never gave much thought to a favourite colour, but recently I think that it has become a soft violet shade of purple. For absolutely no reason whatsoever." Meidani rolled her eyes, the exact shade the he had described, "When I was young I loved to dive of the cliffs at Casterly Rock. It gave my sister fits, she was certain that I would be dashed against the rocks at the bottom, or be crushed in the water from the hundred foot drop. That never stopped me though, there was no danger. Until she told my father… _that_ was one of the most terrifying moments of my childhood. I started learning about all the things a young lord would when I was just a small boy. I hardly remember having a proper childhood that I did not have to run away in secret to find. I suppose that's just how it is with my family though. My first memory? Well, I have vague memories of being held in my mother's arms, but they aren't clear. I do remember her death though, she died giving birth to my brother Tyrion. After it happened, everyone had rushed over to her, my father and sister included, but the baby was left alone. I looked in on my little brother, and didn't know what people meant when they said he was a disfigured child. I just saw a brother, a little brother who had the hate of the world on his shoulders."

"That's why you're so nice to him, I did wonder when that started," Meidani mused.

"Well you could always have asked," Jaime pointed out.

"True, but that was when I hated your guts."

"As opposed to now when you…?"

"When I feel that things are different," she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss, "Come on, you have to get up now."

"You aren't exactly giving me many reasons to," Jaime said, holding her close, "I like staying here just fine."

"You know that it was you who said that duty called right? And you call me a hypocrite! But at any rate, I should probably remove any distractions then." She slipped out of his grasp and crossed the room to get dressed.

When she was done, she re-emerged from behind the modesty screen. Jaime had already put on his clothes.

"I'll go out for a walk today," she said, "I'm telling you now and that means that I don't have to move the carving, so don't you dare forget, I don't want a repeat of what happened yesterday. That was just chaos, you overreacted so much."

"Oh I don't know about not wanting a repeat. As I recall, it ended rather nicely," Jaime purred seductively; drawing her into his arms.

He managed to get in a quick kiss before she wriggled free.

"Just don't forget alright? It's an annoyance to the people of Winterfell having their houses searched just because some husband has an overreaction and thinks that his wife has been kidnapped. Despite her telling him of her plans, and other people verifying her location."

"Alright, I won't forget," he promised, "but if you go out riding, move it. It's just because I just care."

"I know," she reached up to give him a quick kiss, "I will."

He wrapped an arm around her and the quick kiss became not quite so quick.

"Have a good day," he said; once they had both pulled away.

"You too," she replied; a goofy smile on her face, "I'll see you later."

"You won't be able to get rid of me," he assured.

They exited the room and then parted ways, he went off to find his brother to discuss certain matters, while she went off in search of some breakfast. The dining hall was largely empty when Meidani entered, but Benjen was still there. He clearly hadn't gone off on the hunt with his brother.

"Benjen, how are you?" Meidani greeted; sitting down beside him and pulling up some bread and cheese.

"Hello there Meidani, I'm fine. But what about you?" he inquired, "Yesterday, you are Jaime… is everything okay?"

Meidani blushed slightly and smiled, "Yeah, everything's fine."

He arched an eyebrow, "Really? It didn't look that way when he was practically dragging you down the corridor."

"Well, perhaps it wasn't fine then. But we sorted everything out," Meidani said.

"Are you sure?" he clarified.

"Yes, don't worry about me Benjen."

"I can't help it, you're Penelope's daughter, of course I feel protective over you!" he defended.

"Well thank you, I do appreciate it. I'm glad that I met you Benjen."

"And I you, thank you for giving me the news of your mother. And I am so sorry that you had to lose her like that."

"Me too," she whispered.

To escape the sadness that threatened to overwhelm her, she scraped back her chair and excused herself. Suddenly finding her apatite gone, she made her way outside. Perhaps a walk around the outside of the castle would help her clear her head, or at least help her focus her thoughts in a straight line. Something that they hadn't been very keen on doing over the past month or so. In the courtyard she ran into Arya, she was practicing archery with Theon Greyjoy, and she was quite a good shot.

"Meidani!" she called out; leaving her bow with Theon and running over to join Meidani.

"Morning Arya, how are you?" she inquired.

"I'm here too," Theon grumbled.

"I'm good, were you in much trouble yesterday? Father told me that Jaime nearly turned the whole castle upside down."

"Did he really? He was certainly… angry when I got back. But I didn't realise that he was that desperate," Meidani said.

"Ha," Theon scoffed, "It was certainly a sight to see. The great Kingslayer going all panicked over his errant wife."

"Oh Theon, don't make me hurt you," Meidani replied with overdone sweetness.

"Father told him that you were riding with Bran and I, but apparently he didn't believe that. Sorry that you got into trouble," Arya said.

"Don't worry about it, it was fine. I go the idiot to see sense. Did you and Bran get into any trouble?"

Arya shook her head, and Theon burst out laughing.

"What's so funny Greyjoy?" Meidani demanded.

"I'm sorry, but how many other people would dare to call Kingslayer and idiot while several members of his guard are in ear shot?"

Perhaps Arya could sense that an argument was brewing, one that might end with Theon being less likely to be able to father children when he was older, for she stood in front of Meidani to get her attention.

"What are you doing out here anyway Meidani?" she inquired.

"I was just about to go for a walk," Meidani replied.

"Mind if I join you?" the young Stark asked, "Archery is getting boring, I keep getting good shots."

Meidani burst out laughing, "Oh Arya, I doubt that I could even hit the target."

"I could teach you if you want," Theon offered; but his smile made her think that perhaps he was also insinuating something else.

"Some people just never learn, even after being threatened," Meidani mused; which shut Theon up.

"See you later Theon," Arya called; then walked off with Meidani, her Direwolf Nymeria trailing behind.

"How long have you been learning to shoot?" Meidani inquired.

Arya shrugged, "I don't know exactly, a few years?"

"You're really good," Meidani praised.

"Thanks, you should see Theon though. He's the best archer we have."

"Oh I think that Theon's ego is swollen enough don't you?"

Arya laughed, "You're right."

"What are you siblings up to?"

"Robb went on the hunt, Jon went off to talk to uncle Benjen, Bran is probably climbing somewhere, Rickon will be running around playing with Shaggy Dog and avoiding Master Luwin, Sansa is probably doing some embroidery and mooning over Joffrey," Arya made a face when she listed her sister's activities.

"I gather that you aren't too keen on the same kind of things as your sister then?" Meidani noted.

"It's all just so boring!" Arya burst out, "To just sit there poking a needle through fabric, what's the point of it all? Fighting, at least that's useful. Boys have it so much easier than girls, they don't have to learn about such boring things."

"You are your sister are very different aren't you?"

"What are you implying?" Arya defended.

"Nothing at all. You are each your own person, and that's good. I've never had a sibling, but if I did I would hope that we were different. What's the fun in being the same?"

Arya looked thoughtful, "That's a good way of thinking about it. I love Sansa, she's my sister, but sometimes she's just so annoying! We're like opposites, she's so much better behaved and good at the things that a lady should be."

"So? You are good at different things Arya. And the both of you will find uses for your different skills. Just because you are a Stark doesn't mean that you have to grow up to be like a lady, several woman in history have become great heroes and fighters."

Arya grinned, "That's what I want to be! Not mooning over some prince."

Meidani groaned, "Sansa likes Joffrey then?"

"She won't stop going on about him, I don't see what's so special, he seems like a prick to me. What _is_ he like?"

"In all honesty? I don't really know him, he keeps his distance from most people. But even if I did, it's not my place to judge Sansa's choice. She'll make up her own mind about him eventually."

Before Arya could reply to that, Nymeria's head jerked up suddenly, and the wolf took off.

"Nymeria!" Arya called; then shot after her.

Meidani sighed, but followed them. After a while she became aware of a faint sound, and then a scream shattered the air. She picked up her pace and found Arya kneeling over something, when she got closer her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. The noise was a soft cry for help, and it was coming from the broken body of Bran Stark.

**A.N. I am so sorry for any of you who wish to kill me at the end of this. I felt bad hearing all the requests to not have it in, but I had it all planned from the start :/  
>Also, I didn't know the actually age gap between the twins and Tyrion, so I just made it three years. Feel free to correct me though, and I'll change it when I edit the story :D<strong>


	25. Can't Take It

**Thanks for the reviews from: x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, Unknown, Dark Alana, Garota Annima, ShineInTheStorm, alternativecouture,  
>I am so sorry :'(<strong>

Chapter 25: Can't Take It

"BRAN! BRAN!" Arya was screaming her little brother's name, clutching him close, "Bran, what happened? Oh gods!"

"Arya!" Meidani called; the little girl didn't even move her head, "Arya!" Meidani grabbed her shoulders to turn her away from the body of her gasping brother.

"What are we going to do? He's… Meidani what happened?" Arya's questions poured out in a panicked stream.

"Listen to me Arya, I want you to run back to Winterfell and get the first person you see who is strong enough to carry Bran back to the castle carefully," Meidani instructed, "I would do it myself, but I don't trust my own strength."

"But Bran… I can't leave him," Arya protested.

"Don't worry, I'll stay with him, but you have to _run_," Meidani insisted.

The small shove that Meidani gave to Arya's shoulder jolted the girl out of her shock, and she took off for the castle; running so fast that she kept pace with Nymeria. Meidani set her mouth grimly, she had needed to get Arya away from the sight of her brother like this. The girl had been so shocked and scared, sending her back to the castle was better for her than remaining here. Meidani knelt down beside the boy and gently brushed his hair back from his forehead, he moaned and stirred.

"Shh," she whispered, "it's going to be okay Bran. We've found you, your sister went to get help. You'll be alright, I promise."

"M-Meidani?" he whispered brokenly.

"Still awake then? Yes, I'm here. Were you climbing?" she inquired.

A bare trace of a nod gave her the answer she had suspected.

"Did you fall?" she asked; but that didn't seem right. People were always going on about how good a climber Bran was, and how he never lost his grip or footing. Yet here he lay.

"…no," he breathed.

"Do you remember what happened? If you don't, then don't strain your brain, you need to keep your strength."

"I… was pushed," he got out.

Fury rose inside her, who would push a young boy out of a window? Bran was only _ten_ for god's sake! How could anyone even think of committing such an act? It was just inconceivable to her.

"Bran honey, do you know who pushed you?" she inquired gently.

"I saw… I saw the Queen. She was with… they were doing something," Bran murmured.

"Cersei," Meidani hissed, "Was it the Queen who pushed you?"

A small shake of the head, "The man."

"Which man?" Meidani persisted.

Bran's eyelids fluttered, and she barely heard his final words, "her brother Jaime."

Cold and abject horror washed over her. She froze, not just her body, but her mind as well. It seemed as if it was trying to reject this new information, wanting to accept any other alternative to it. She manically kept on stroking Bran's forehead in a calming way for the now unconscious boy, but nothing about her was working. Could it be that the boy had been wrong? Could he have mistaken someone else for her husband? Or was she just indulging in wishful thinking? But why would Jaime do that? Bran said that they had been doing 'something', but what was-? Her eyes widened, her heart shattered, and she almost threw up. He couldn't mean? Not after… was it all just a lie? Round and round the thoughts spun in Meidani's head, making no sense and just tangling up further.

"BRAN!" a voice roared suddenly.

Meidani spun around to see Robb Stark running for his little brother, Jon was not far behind, while Theon was a little slower than the desperate brothers. Robb fell to his knees beside Bran's body, cradling his little brother against his chest. Jon was soon on the ground beside him, reaching out to touch Bran's face and hair. Tears looked like they threatened to fall from the brothers' eyes.

"Robb, we should get him back to the castle as quickly as possible," Theon said; being the voice of reason in this sea of grief stricken, un-functioning people.

Robb nodded his head in a jerking fashion, and scooped Bran up in his arms. He held the boy delicately and walked with as much care as he could while still going at some speed. Jon hovered right beside him. Meidani still hadn't moved, the brothers were too preoccupied to notice, but Theon did. He gently put a hand on Meidani's shoulder.

"Meidani? You should probably come back with us," he said.

She looked up at him with blank eyes, but rose to her feet and walked. She tried to compose herself, she could worry about her situation later, Bran was what mattered now.

"Do you know what happened? Arya said that you two found him on the ground, how long did he remain awake for?" Theon asked.

"I don't know how it happened," Meidani found herself replying, "He was awake for a few minutes, but lost consciousness a little while before you three came. How are the rest of the Starks?"

"They were all in the training area watching Robb and Jon spar when Arya came running in. They all wanted to come, but Robb and Jon took off so fast. I followed them, so I guess that Master Luwin was able to convince them that they were better off waiting for the boys to return. Are you alright?" he studied her curiously.

"I'm just… how could anyone _do_ this? He's just ten!" she cried.

Something clouded Theon's eyes, "You don't think that he fell do you?"

"You know Bran better than I do, you've known him his whole life, would he ever simply fall?" Meidani asked.

Theon shook his head, "you're right, the boy has climbed much higher things than that tower, and he's always kept himself attached to the wall. What do you think happened?"

Meidani didn't know what was wrong with her, but she didn't reveal what she knew.

"I don't know beyond that, do you think that he'll live?" she inquired.

Theon thought for a moment, "Those are heavy injuries, it's a wonder that he was actually conscious when you found him. But perhaps that proves it, Bran's a strong lad, maybe he'll pull through."

When they got back to the castle, the courtyard was almost empty. Except for the presence of Sansa Stark.

"Sansa," Theon called, "Where's your family?"

"They are up in the tower, they have taken Bran up there," she replied.

"What are you doing here?" Meidani inquired.

Sansa suddenly rushed over to Meidani ,grasping her hands, "What happened? Arya was so panicked that she could only babble. What happened to my brother? You were there right?"

"Sansa, we only found him once he had fallen. I don't know more than that," Meidani replied, "I'm sorry, I wish that I did, and that I could tell you."

"Bran doesn't fall though," Sansa insisted, "He just doesn't."

The red hair girl suddenly fell against Meidani, crying and wrapping her arms around her. Meidani hugged her back, trying to give the girl some form of comfort. She pulled Sansa back though, the girl was distraught, Meidani could see it in her eyes.

"Theon, get Sansa to her family, she needs to be with them now," Meidani commanded.

"Come on Sansa," Theon said; taking her arm, "Your mother will want you with her."

Sansa let her father's ward lead her off to join her family, and this left Meidani alone in the courtyard. She did not want to break down there, so she ran like the wind for her room. Thankfully it was empty. She did not want to _touch_ the bed anymore, so she simply sank to the floor and wept. Her hugged her arms around her body and curled into the smallest ball she could manage. As if all of this would somehow keep the world away, and stop the erase the information from her head. She wished now that she had never asked Bran, she wished that she hadn't gone for a walk. But then what? It would still have happened, but she would have been in ignorance.

Why though? They were brother and sister, seven hells, they were _twins_! She knew that the Targaryens had taken part in those sorts of relationship, but every single other House had frowned upon it. Yet here she lay, crying alone after finding out that her husband was having an affair with his sister. It hurt, it hurt so much that she could barely take it. If she had found out just two days ago, it wouldn't have hurt more than her pride. But now? Now that she had finally admitted to herself how she felt about Jaime? Now the information took her foolishly given heart, and shredded it into tiny pieces, scattering them to the wind. She had thought that things were going well, she had thought that they might have a chance. Hell, she had looked past _everything_ that he had done! As much as it pained her now to admit it, she had not simply started to care for Jaime Lannister, she had fallen in love with him. And now this? It hurt her more than anything had ever done so in her life, but the worst part was that she still loved him. Even knowing what she now did, she still could not find it in herself to regret what had happened last night. She was an even worse monster than him.

Suddenly a memory came back to her, from when she had been sitting beside Jon Arryn the day before he died.

"_For…about… your husband_."

She was such a fool. She had thought that the word 'about' had just been randomly placed into the sentence because of his deteriorating state. But now she suspected otherwise. Lysa was so sure that Jon had been poisoned, but there had been no trace of it. It would have had to have been some very secretive brew, and therefore expensive. But why would someone go to such lengths to kill an old man? Because he had found out something that he shouldn't have. That note, it hadn't been _for_ Jaime, but _about_ him and for Meidani to read. It had probably told her about what she had just found out. Oh how Jaime must have laughed at her, giving him the note like that, it was probably ashes in the wind now. Another thing that she had never paid much thought to slipped into her mind, Jon's last words.

"_The seed is strong_."

She did not know what they meant for sure, but pieces started to fit in her head. Robert Baratheon was dark of hair, as were his brothers and his brother's child. House Baratheon was known for having family members with dark hair. And yes Roberts children all possessed the blonde hair that ran through the Lannister line. Meidani felt sick. They were not Robert's children, but Jaime's. She felt so broken and used. Every kind word, every soft gesture, had it all just been a lie?

"Miss? Oh miss!"

Reana and Penelope fell to the ground beside Meidani, Penelope drew her mistress into her arms and whispered soothing words, as Reana stroked her hair. Meidani hadn't realised till then that she hadn't seen her maids in the past two days, and having them with her now made her feel somewhat better. But she could hardly feel the improvement due to the absolute void of her sadness. They asked what was wrong, but Meidani had no reply for them. She didn't want anyone to find out about this, her pride would not be able to bear it. At least, that is the only reason she let herself use for her silence. But after a while she remembered yet another thing. On the way to Casterly Rock, she had made her failed escape attempt. But somewhere amongst hr bundle clothes, was the shell hair ornament that she had been given. The man had said that should she present it to Magister Illyrio, she would be given shelter, and she could find her siblings. Perhaps it was the madness of grief driving her, but in that moment Meidani's mind was made up. She wiped away her tears and stood up, her maids rose with her.

"Reana, Penelope. When you first started serving me, you were spies for the Lannisters? Namely Jaime, and I correct?" she inquired, "You allegiance lay with him?"

"Yes miss, we were charged with keeping an eye on you," Reana confirmed.

"And now? Where are your loyalties?" Meidani asked.

Without hesitating both girls replied, "With you miss."

Meidani allowed herself a small, broken, smile.

"That's good, because I am about to ask you to do something very dangerous."

"What is it?" Penelope asked.

"I am going to run away, but I need you girls to provide distraction. I will have some time, but I may need more. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm afraid not miss," Penelope said.

"Why?" Meidani questioned.

"Because we would be going with you of course," Reana answered, "You aren't leaving us behind. It's not safe for you to travel alone, and you will need help on the road."

"But then who can-" Meidani cut herself off, "I know just the man."

Later, Meidani had changed into riding gear with a thick coat. What was unknown however was that the coat wasn't as thick as it appeared. It had a secret lining, into which she had placed gold and spare clothes to last her and her maids. They would be riding with her, as she wanted their company in the sadness that came with Bran Stark's fall. In her hair, she wore the shell ornament. As they made their way to the stable, they ran into Benjen Stark. Meidani was relieved, she had thought that she might have had to search the castle for him.

"Meidani, going for a ride?" he inquired.

"Yes, but I will be going far and for a long time," Meidani replied; hinting at her purpose.

His eyes narrowed, "Meidani… is that wise?"

"Please Benjen, I _need_ to get away, but I cannot say why. Will you help me?" she begged.

He sighed, "what do you need?"

"You are a ranger of the Night's Watch, the First Ranger, how good are you at obscuring a trail?"

"I am the best, don't worry about me. I can follow you on foot and hide your trail. I'll be back in the castle before people even knew that I was gone, it's a special trick of the Night's Watch. It's easier to be unseen than people realise. Now go to your horses, don't look back, and don't worry."

Meidani threw her arms around him, "Thank you Benjen."

"Good luck Meidani, and be careful," he whispered.

"I will," she assured.

It good time she had mounted Black Dawn and her maids had mounted their own horses. No one gave them a second glace as they rode out of the city together. They remained at a leisurely pace while in view of the castle, but once they were free, Meidani urged Black Dawn on, and her maids followed suit. She had moved the blasted carving before leaving, so Jaime would not think on her absence until later, and by then Benjen will have erased her trail. She rode away with a shattered heart full of sorrow, but while she was tempted to go back, she still fled. Her horse carrying her away from her love who had broken her heart, and towards to coast. Where she would cross the Narrow Sea, and find her brother and sister.

**Holy shit, I cried while writing this.**

**I would just like to commend my anonymous reviewer 'Unknown' you seem to be rather good at guessing what's going to happen :P  
>Hope that you guys liked the chapter, well… you know that I mean! I hope…<br>I'll try to update soon :D**


	26. Far Far Away

**Thanks for reviewing: x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, ShineInTheStorm, Dark Alana  
>I hope that not too many of you are calling for my head, but is so, I am afraid that I am first in line.<br>**

Chapter 26: Far Far Away

Meidani and her maids rode as hard as they were able without running their horses to the ground. They avoided the large inns, and oftentimes had to sleep outdoors. It was not the most comfortable of journeys, but there was no way that Meidani would turn back now. She worried for her maids sometimes, that they might regret coming with her on this mad escape, but they never complained. She was glad of their company at least, it would have been a miserable trip to make on her own. They also helped her to keep her mind off certain issues, something for which she was eternally grateful for. She did not want to think about the reason that she had run away, she didn't want to think about anything but the future, and what it might hold. While she may call this making a new start, she knew that she was just running away. But if she stayed, she didn't know what she would do. If she talked to Jaime about it, she was scared of what he might say. At heart she was just scared and fleeing from how she felt.

They made better timing than they had when travelling with the King, arriving back at the Capitol within just under three weeks. But there was another complication; how to get a ship. They remained outside of King's Landing for several days while Meidani and her maids tried to think up a plan. One thing that they all agreed early on, was that Meidani needed to be disguised somehow. They used a dye which Reana procured in the city to turn her distinctive silver blonde hair a dark brown. There was nothing that they could do about her eyes though, so they purchased a cloak with a deeply hooded cowl so that she could hide her face. Doubtless Jaime had sent word to King's Landing about her disappearance, so Meidani had yet to set foot in the city. Her maids refused to let her until they were sure that they could procure a ship, one that would also take the horses as Meidani refused to leave Black Dawn behind. So far they had been unsuccessful in their efforts, no one was willing to take a mystery passenger with no identity and carry horses, despite the gold that they were offered. Something was wrong with that, it was common knowledge that most merchants could be bribed to carry any form of cargo, but why did they refuse her? She worried that perhaps they had been under orders, and that she may be discovered. She feared what would happen if Jaime found her.

One night Reana rode back into the camp from a day spent in the capitol, but she wasn't alone. A hooded figure rode with her.

"I'm sorry miss," she said before Meidani could ask, "But he insisted."

The other figure dismounted and threw back his hood, "Lady Lannister, always a pleasure."

"Lord Varys," Meidani greeted coolly; eyeing the Spider, "To what do I owe the honour of your visit to my _secret_ camp?"

"Oh my little birds see everything, your maids have been drifting in and out of King's Landing for a few days now, but never you," he noted, "And may I say that I prefer your natural hair colour, I do hope that the dye doesn't damage it."

"Let's skip the false pleasantries Spider, what are you doing here? Have you told anyone of my presence? Does anyone else know that I am near King's Landing?" she questioned.

"No milady, I have not told anyone of my knowledge, but I cannot say that other birds haven't seen you. To the extent of my awareness though, your husband still does not know where you are. Apparently you are recovering in the warm climate of Lannisport because the North was too much for you after the tragic loss of your child. I have little birds everywhere though, I thought that you might be on the run. So I made them keep an extra look out, especially when I heard that your maids had gone with you. You might be very recognisable, but they can slip in with the crowd of the capitol."

Meidani snorted, "Figures he'd make out that I am not missing and that he knows exactly where I am."

"From what I hear from the North, Ser Jaime has been rather quick to anger since you took your leave."

"Fascinating," Meidani drawled, "But you still haven't answered my first question, what are you doing here?"

"I assume that you have in fact run away from your loving husband?" Varys questioned.

Meidani narrowed her eyes, "What is it to you?"

"Well, I also hear that your maids have been searching for a ship to take you to Pentos. But they have been unable to procure one. That is because Ser Jaime had an order issued that no ship was to sail while carrying strange passengers, if people inquired, they were to be followed. You have kept my people rather busy I'm afraid, in detaining the followers that your maids were unaware they possessed."

"I'm sorry miss!" Penelope exclaimed, "I should have been more careful."

Meidani held up a hand to silence them before Reana could add her apologies, "You two didn't know. You did well. Don't worry about it."

"Are you seeking your siblings in the Free City?" Varys asked suddenly.

Meidani stilled, "Why do you ask that?"

He shrugged, "Out of curiosity, I do love having knowledge. In any case, you had better come with me."

"And why would I do that?" Meidani demanded.

"Because I have a ship that will take you, your maids, and your horses to Pentos. I believe that is what you requested at the docks. But you must come with me now; it sails with tonight's tide."

Meidani narrowed her eyes, "Why should I trust you? For all I know you could be taking me somewhere to hold captive until my husband returns from the North."

"Why are you running from him? I heard that you two got rather close on the way to Winterfell," Varys noted.

Meidani's heart received a stab of pain from his words, and hurt flashed across her face. It was soon replaced by anger though.

"That," she hissed, "is _none_ of your business."

"Very well, but as to whether you can trust me. What other choice do you have? You will not be able to get a ship any other way, and if you don't accept my help then you will not be able to hide for long. You will be found. And Ser Jaime will be so overjoyed."

Meidani thought for a moment. On one hand, Lord Varys was known as the Spider, a notorious spy and untrustworthy man. On the other hand, what was her other alternative? She might as well take the risk, it was equal to that of remaining here for much longer.

"Very well Lord Varys, take us to this ship you speak of," she commanded.

She bald man smiled, "As you wish milady."

**/*0*/**

After a week and a half spent on the boat, Meidani decided that ocean travel was not for her. The constant rocking motion of the boat made her stomach disagree with anything that came in contact with it, resulting in great unpleasantness for Meidani. Her maids seemed to be faring better than her, but she put that down to the both of them coming from Lannisport. They had probably been on ships several times already, and she envied the easy way they kept their balance on the rocking ship and the food inside their stomachs. The horses seemed to be having an interesting time as well. They were clearly unsettled at not having solid land under their feet, and had spent the first few days trying to get used to their surroundings. Meidani looked forward to the moment that they docked in Pentos, she couldn't wait to be back on land. The captain had told them that they would be in the city by late afternoon, and Meidani could made her way to Illyrio then.

Before they departed the ship, Meidani thoroughly washed and scrubbed her hair, ridding it of the last remnants of the brown dye. She felt more herself now. She changed into the most presentable dress that she had left, and waited on deck with her maids. The city was beautiful, it looked almost like a work of art. And while it was still full of people, it did not give off that crowded vibe that King's Landing emitted. The captain came over to join them.

"I hear that you wish to see Magister Illyrio, a word of advice, he will not be bothered by trifling matters. It is best to say outright who you are, even if you may not want to," he advised.

"What do you mean? Should I go by the name of Cairhien?" Meidani inquired.

He shook his head, and gestured to her hair, "If you identify yourself as a Targaryen, then I can assure you that he will come to see you with all speed."

"I can't call myself a Targaryen," Meidani protested.

"I'm not saying that you should, but you will have to acknowledge your blood," the captain said.

Much as she didn't want to, she saw the sense in his words, "Thank you sir."

"You are most welcome little lady, I have something else for you. I informed a friend of mine in Braavos about your coming, he was once in love with your aunt, Rhaella Targaryen. He will be a loyal friend to you."

"Why is he not already with Viserys and Daenerys?" Meidani inquired.

"I do not know miss, but he agreed to meet you at the docks. He will escort you to Illyrio, and remain with you if you so wish it."

"Thank you once again captain, why are you doing all of this for me?"

He scratched his head, "To be honest little lady, it is because you need it."

His reason was so simple, but Meidani didn't doubt him. She held out her hand.

"You are truly a good man captain, I am sorry to see you go," she said.

He clasped her hand in his own, "And I you little lady, but remember, I travel between the continents a lot. Should you ever need help, you just ask for Eathen Bryant, I'll come if I can."

He walked off after that, and commanded that the horses be brought on deck, they would be arriving shortly. Meidani had spoken the truth, the captain was a good man, and she was sad to leave his company as she and her maids disembarked from the ship. She was rather disconcerted to find that the land did not feel solid under her feet, and was glad of her grip on Black Dawn's reins to keep herself steady. Her maids assured her that it would pass soon, they were once again absolutely fine.

"You must be the little lady," someone said close to her ear.

Meidani whipped around, and found herself staring into a pair of warm, but distant, brown eyes. The man they belonged to looked to be around forty years of age, but still strong. He stepped back and bowed slightly when she turned.

"Jarred Gothern at your service miss."

"Are you Eathen's friend? The one from Braavos?' she asked.

"That sounds like me miss, unless there is another man here who fits that description. I hear that I am to take you to see Magister Illyrio."

"Yes, that would be good."

"Best mount up then little lady, I'll lead the way," he said.

"Jarred," she called; he turned with a questioning look in his eye, "Umm, Eathen said that you were once in love with my aunt… I just wondered why you were helping me? Considering that I am just Aerys' bastard, and my half siblings are her true children."

"I was far away when the rebellion began, and I could not get to King's Landing in time to save Rhaella. But then I heard that she and her children had been spirited to Dragonstone, so I followed. She had already died in childbirth, and the children had been taken to the free cities. I followed, and watched over them, but then I left. Before you ask why, I'll answer, neither of them reminded me of her. They were Targaryen yes, but they had hardly any of Rhaella in them. You on the other hand, I have yet to know you better, but we shall see."

"I am grateful for your help Jarred," Meidani assured, "And I would not force you to continue to serve me if it was not your wish."

He smiled, "Thank you little lady, but we should probably go to the Magister now."

Meidani hastily mounted Black Dawn, her maids were already atop their horses, and Jarred lead the way. It wasn't long before they were standing in front of the Magister's large condo, Meidani dismounted and made her way up to the door, she left the hood of her cloak up.

"I wish to see Magister Illyrio," she demanded; there was a sound of approval from Jarred, she guessed that it was a good thing that she was acting so sure of herself and commanding.

"The Magister is not to be disturbed, he is preparing for a voyage," the guard said.

"You will take me to see him," she insisted.

"Off with you now," the guard said.

Meidani threw back her hood, exposing her silver blonde hair and violet eyes. The guard clearly recognised what bloodline they came from.

"You will take me to see Magister Illyrio, and you will do so immediately," she commanded, "In addition to that, you will see that my friends are given refreshments and that our horses are taken care of. And you will also do these things immediately. Now, escort me in."

"Yes miss," the guard bowed, "Follow me miss."

"My friends?" she questioned.

"They will be taken care of," he assured.

"Little lady, I think I should come with you," Jarred said.

"I don't have a problem with that," Meidani agreed.

The guard lead them through the large condo, eventually coming to a closed door. He knocked rapidly four times.

"What is it? I'm busy," a voice called.

"Magister, this is important," the guard insisted.

There was the sound of a chair being scraped back, and footsteps approaching the door. Meidani straighter her back and held her head high. A fat man with a well groomed bread opened the door, he was dressed in good clothes, and had a flustered air to him. His eyes widened when he saw Meidani.

"Good afternoon Magister, may I enter?" she asked.

He wordlessly help the door open, and she and Jarred quickly entered the room. Once he had shut the door and once more taken his seat behind a large desk, Meidani pulled the ornament from her hair.

"A man once told me that if I was ever in Pentos I should give this to you," she said.

Illyrio took it and looked at her steadily, "What happened to him?"

"He was killed when he tried to aid me, I am sorry. I take it that you know who I am?"

"Yes, I had not expected you to make it here after Jorry's failed attempt to get you out. Might I ask how you managed it?"

"A Spider helped me escape a web," she replied.

Understanding glimmered in his eyes, "I see, what can I do for you?"

"I recall hearing that you gave shelter to my half siblings, where are they?" she questioned.

"Daenerys has just been married to Kahl Drogo of the Dothraki, they left a week ago for their holy city of Vaes Dothrak. Viserys went with them."

"I know the way to the Dothraki city," Jarred put in, "I would be happy to take you there little lady."

"Please, stay here a few days to regain your strength," Illyrio urged, "I would be happy to accommodate you, any Targaryen is welcome here."

Meidani inclined her head, "Thank you Magister, I am most grateful."

**/*0*/**

**Some weeks later in King's Landing**

"What were you thinking? Sending her to me," Illyrio demanded when he saw Varys.

"What did you do with her?" the other man inquired.

"I sent her off after her siblings, she has probably reached the Dothraki by now. But really Varys, why?"

"Because her disappearance has caused quite a stir here in the capitol. Mainly because Ser Jaime Lannister is very keen that his wife be found, but no one knows where to find her, on top of which not many people know that she is actually missing. Apparently she is at Casterly Rock for her health. Things are already tense between the Lannisters and the Starks, and Jaime's now volatile nature should keep things steaming."

"But once she turns up with the Dothraki, who's to say that word won't get back to him?" Illyrio questioned.

"Well then I will deal with that when it happens, anyway, with all that is going on in King's Landing it's not like he can just run off now is it? Besides, having her around has certainly made things more interesting. The last Targaryen bastard; made quite the disturbance several times. I don't see why you're complaining anyway, you tried to get her a while ago if I recall."

"An attempt that didn't go well, I made other plans since then," Illyrio snapped, "You're playing with fire here. If Jaime finds out that you had something to do with her getting across the Narrow Sea…"

"No matter my friend," Varys said; opening up the door to the dungeons, "We have more important things to discuss."

**Long chapter, didn't mean for it to happen, I just thought I'd put in that little bit in King's Landing for fun.  
>What did you guys think? Review and tell me?<br>Thanks for reading!**


	27. Ocean Of Grass

**Thanks for the reviews: Dark Alana,  
>I am actually stunned by how much I have managed to do with this story, it is great to be able to just keep on updating :D thank you all so much for reading, I really do love knowing what you guys think :)<strong>

Chapter 27: Ocean Of Grass

"Good, nice parry," Jarred praised, "Now attack me."

Meidani sighed, but lunged for him anyway, swinging her dagger at him. He blocked it easily with his own, and grabbed her wrist, and then he pressed his dagger to her throat.

"Dead," he said simply.

"Urgh, I always end up dead," Meidani complained.

They had remained in Pentos for a few days, gathering supplies and strength, before setting off on their long ride through the Dothraki Sea. Which was basically a massive area of grassland that stretched out as far as the eye could see, which was a long way. About three days after they had left the city, Jarred had found out that Meidani did not have the faintest clue on how to use the dagger that she carried. It was the one from Ser Barristan, and she felt awkward carrying the ornate thing around, but had done so for protection. Jarred had insisted on giving her lessons on how to defend herself, with the dagger and without, and it wasn't until those had commenced that she realised that she wouldn't have been able to do anything with the dagger had she actually been attacked. It was humiliating how easily Jarred managed to disarm, block and 'kill' her; without it seeming to take any effort on his part! She had persisted though, not wanting to give up once she had started. But that didn't mean that she wasn't frustrated with her lack of skill.

"That's because you don't have practice," Jarred said, "Now again."

Once more she tried to go at him with the dagger, once more she was easily blocked.

"You hold it too tightly, it has absolutely no movement in your wrist," he chastised.

"Holding it too tightly?" she repeated incredulously, "Do you know how heavy this thing is? If I hold it any looser it'll fall out of my hand!"

"Nonsense, it's all about balance, and that dagger is top quality. Hold it so that it feels like an extension of your hand, it is as mobile as your wrist, don't seize your muscles but keep them relaxed," he instructed, "And when you swing, you use too much shoulder power, swing from the elbow or wrist as well."

"But that feels so ungainly, swinging from the shoulder feels stronger," Meidani defended.

"It's also slower little lady," Jarred pointed out, "Try it again, you'll see."

Meidani sighed, but fell back into the stance that he had taught her. Before she could make a move however, she was thankfully interrupted.

"Umm, dinner is ready," Reana said.

"Reana, you are a lifesaver!" Meidani praised.

Jarred smiled at the maid, "We'll be over in just a moment, the little lady here just has to have one more try."

Meidani groaned, "You are merciless."

"I am as merciless as your enemies will be," he replied, "Just once more."

Meidani suddenly went for him, swinging at him from the elbow as he instructed. He barely got his dagger up in time, and even then was too slow to parry her next blow. She found that it was easier to deliver her next swing with the extra manoeuvrability in her elbow, as opposed to her shoulder. She managed to get her dagger pointed at his heart. He looked down in shock, and help his hands up.

"Dead," Meidani pronounced happily.

"Well done little lady," Jarred congratulated, "It's much easier isn't it?"

"If you say I told you so," Meidani let the threat hang.

The man laughed, "I wasn't going to, I swear. Now, shall we go and enjoy dinner?"

"Wait," Meidani called; he turned back to face her, "First things first; what is going on between you and Reana?"

A poker face slid over his expression, "I don't know what you're talking about little lady."

"Oh come off it! You two went to the river last week to fetch more water, and now there is definitely something different. Don't deny it, it's obvious."

Jarred sighed, "It wouldn't matter even if there was little lady. I'm old enough to be the girl's father. I've lived a full life full of war and heartbreak; she has barely had a chance to experience what the world has to offer someone like her. I would never take away that chance."

"Does this have anything to do with the way you loved Rhaella?" Meidani inquired.

"No, I loved Rhaella for many years, but she is gone now. I must accept that," Jarred said, "The two of them may be similar in some ways, but Reana is also a completely different person. She is strong and brave, and she isn't afraid to take pain upon herself if it means helping those she loves. On top of the countless other reasons, she is simply too good for someone with my past."

"What complete and utter nonsense!" Meidani exclaimed, "do you care for her or not?"

"I do care, and it's because I care that I will not do anything. She deserves her own life, and I can give her nothing."

"She cares for you as well you know, I can see it," Meidani said.

"She'll find someone right for her," Jarred assured.

"She already has," Reana's voice interrupted.

Meidani jumped, "Seven hells Reana!" then she caught sight of the staring going on between her and Jarred, "I'll umm… just go then shall I?"

When neither of them said anything, Meidani simply walked away, the sound of whispered voices following her. She found Penelope sitting beside where dinner had been laid out, grinning like a fool.

"What do you think?" she asked Meidani.

"About them? Perfect," Meidani replied, "About them figuring that out anytime soon? Probably not going to happen."

"We'll see," Penelope said, "I must say that I haven't seen her quite this determined before."

***FLASHBACK***

Reana walked down to the river. It was the only one that they had seen for a few days, so she thought she might as well fill up the drinking flasks that they carried while she could. Looking around, she saw that none of the others had followed her. She rolled up the long sleeves of her gown, and let her arms cool down. She envied Meidani and Penelope, who had no trouble in wearing dresses with short sleeves, they had no scars that they need cover. Reana was not bitter towards them over it, she simply wished that she could share the same luxury as they did. She looked down on her scars with shame, they were a sign that she had been too weak to stop a man from doing what he wanted with her, and she hated that.

"What happened to you?" Jarred demanded.

Reana jumped and pushed her sleeves back down, nearly dropping the flask that she had been holding into the river, she hadn't heard him coming up behind her.

"Sorry sir," she said.

"Don't call me sir, it's just Jarred. And what happened to your arms?" he questioned.

"It's nothing Jarred," she looked away from him, "Really."

"I don't believe you, who did that to you?" he tipped her face up to his.

His eyes widened in shock, until then he had never gotten a good look at her. But now that he had, recognition dawned in his gaze. His curious brown eyes met her guarded blue ones.

"Who are you Reana?" he asked.

"Just a maid from Lannisport," she replied.

"I don't believe that for a second, your accent is nice, but not from the Westerlands. Your colouring is far more suited to someone from the Riverrun. Who are you really? And who hurt you?"

"It matters not," Reana tried to brush the questions off.

"Oh yes it does," he grabbed her arm, not painfully, but firmly, "Tell me."

"Why do you want to know?" she shot back, "It's my past, go sulk in your own."

She knew she shouldn't have said that, but he didn't let his hurt show for more than a moment.

"Tell me who you are Reana."

"I can't, he'll have them killed if I tell anyone about what happened."

"Who's he? And why do you fear him here? You are across the Narrow Sea, how can he know what you say?"

"Why are you so insistent on finding out?" Reana questioned.

"Why are you so insistent on not telling me?" he shot back.

"Fine! You want to know? I _am_ from the Riverrun, my father is Bannerman for Lord Walder Frey of the Twins. It was he who did this to me, and he who holds power of my family's lives if I do not keep my silence. I don't know why I told you that Jarred, but if you tell a soul, I swear I will silence you."

"_Frey_?" Jarred hissed, "The old man is still alive?"

"Barely," Reana scoffed, "But alive enough."

"That bastard, how could he do something like that? I knew that he was not a good man, but clearly time has corrupted him even further."

"You wanted to know," Reana whispered.

"I'm sorry for what happened," he said; and drew her into a comforting hug.

Reana embraced him in return, and wondered why in the seven hells she could feel her face begin to blush.

***END FLASHBACK***

By the time Reana and Jarred returned from their talk, Penelope and Meidani had gotten sick of waiting, so they had started without them. Neither commented on this, but Meidani was sorely tempted to comment on the red mark appearing on Jarred's face. She kept her silence though, only sharing a small grin with Penelope. She was glad to see them start to care for one another, well, when they would finally _admit_ that they had started to care for one another. They had pretty much said so when Meidani had left them, but were no doubt going to keep on denying it for a while. Stupid idiots? Why couldn't they just admit how they felt! As these thoughts entered her head though, she realised that she had been in pretty much the same situation with Jaime. Both of them starting to care, both of them remaining silent on the fact; Meidani started fiddling with the necklace, she still hadn't figured out how to get it off, and was loathe to break it. Of course, now she wasn't sure if it had all simply been an act on his part. It hurt to know that while she might have been falling, he was simply laughing.

By the time Meidani came back to herself, she realised how silent the camp was. Reana and Jarred had not said a word since they had returned. Penelope evidently got sick of it after a while.

"Jarred," she called, "Do you think that if two people are on love, that anything should stand between them?"

"No," was his instantaneous reply; but then his brow furrowed as he thought on the question further, "Except in some circumstances. When say one party is still young and has yet to experience the world to its fullest, they should not have that taken away from them."

"But surly the greatest thing that they could experience in the world is love," Penelope argued, "So why should they not be together? Does this older lover have a secret?"

"Say he has been in love before, and he failed to protect that love when she needed it. He is not worthy of someone so strong, beautiful and courageous."

Reana blushed and Penelope raised her eyebrows," Why Jarred, you sound as if you are in the situation yourself. I was merely opening the topic for a discussion. Pray tell me more about this lady of yours, does she care for you?"

Jarred looked down, "She thinks that she does, but she shouldn't."

"Do you presume to say when love should be given? Don't all people deserve it?" Penelope questioned.

"Not me," Jarred replied simply, "None could truly fall in love with someone like me."

"You're wrong," Meidani burst out, "People can all in love with anyone, it doesn't matter who they are or what they've done, love makes you look past that. It makes you a fool as well though, it makes you keep on loving them even after they broke your heart."

Silence fell on the camp and Meidani realised what she had just said. She clapped a hand over her mouth and stood abruptly.

"If you'll excuse me, I might go on a walk."

Jarred cocked his head to the side, "Best not little lady, I hear a horse coming," he said softly

He drew his sword and silently rose to his feet, "You all keep talking, don't make out that I'm not here."

They continued on with chatter, as Jarred crept silently in the direction from which he had heard the noise. Much as he had told them to not make out that he wasn't there, they couldn't help but keep their voices down so that they could hear what was going on. The ring of steel on steel filled the air, and Reana bolted to her feet. Penelope had to grab her arm and yank her back down to the ground, Reana scowled, but did nothing. Eventually the ringing stopped, and loud laughter filled its place. _Laughter?_ What in the seven hells?

"You've still got as much skill on you as ever Mormont," Jarred praised.

"And you as well Gothern, what have you done with yourself all these years? Everyone thinks that you're dead?"

"Ahh well, let's just say I started a new life. And what of you my old friend? What brings you across the Narrow Sea?"

"A price on my head, given to me by Ned Stark," the voice replied dryly.

The men finally came into view. Jarred was walking with a man who was of a height with him, and had blonde hair with blue eyes, he lead a bay horse behind him. He started when his eyes fell on Meidani.

"Jarred my old friend, would you care to explain this to me?" he inquired.

"I think that I would also like an explanation," Meidani said.

"Uhh, little lady this is Ser Jorah Mormont," Jarred introduced, "He's an old friend of mine from the Seven Kingdoms. Jorah, this is Meidani…" he looked at Meidani questioningly.

"Cairhien," Meidani filled in, "Meidani Cairhien."

"Cairhien?" he repeated, "I thought that that House was wiped out, and I was also under the impression that the only Targaryen in Westeros served at the Wall."

"Well I guess the place is just full of surprises, what are you doing in the Dothraki Sea Ser Jorah? If you don't mind my asking," she inquired.

"I was picking up some supplies in Qohor, I travel with Kahl Drogo's _kalhasar_, they ride for Vaes Dothrak."

"Kahl Drogo? Daenerys Targaryen's husband?" Meidani questioned.

"The same," Jorah replied.

"Would you be able to take us to them? I seek to meet my half siblings, I am the bastard daughter of Aerys Targaryen you see."

"That explains the colouring," Jorah mused, "Of course I can take you, it is much safer to travel in numbers on the road at any rate."

And so it was agreed, they would travel together to the Dothraki City, and Jorah would be able to get Meidani an audience with her half sister and brother. According to him, they were not far from the city now, about a day's ride perhaps, if they started early. So Meidani decided that she might to go sleep early, before she could make her way to her blankets though, Ser Jorah stopped her.

"That is an interesting necklace you wear, may I see it?" he asked.

"Would that I could take it off. I have no idea how," Meidani replied.

"Ahh, so it is the work of Hywin," Jorah said.

"Who?" Meidani inquired.

"He is a famous goldsmith from Lannisport, his pieces and the finest work you could find, and his prices are not cheap. Tell me, why do you bare the lion of Lannister upon your locket?"

"It is from my husband, Ser Jaime Lannister, and it is no locket Ser. Just a necklace," she corrected.

"Ser Jaime took a wife? Westeros is certainly full of more surprises than I remember. Tell me then, why are you travelling to Vaes Dothrak under the name of your former House? I wouldn't imagine that Lannister would even let his wife out of the Seven Kingdoms."

"He didn't," Meidani said simply.

"Oh, I see. Well, fear not, he will not be able to retrieve you from the middle of the Dothraki city."

Before he left Meidani wanted to know something, "Ser Jorah? Why did you think that my necklace was a locket?"

"Because it is, Hywin is famous for being the most delicate of goldsmiths. The catch it hard to find, but it is there. I once bought from him." He walked off after that, no doubt to swap stories with Jarred.

Meidani fiddled with the necklace, testing along its thin edge to find a way to open it. She didn't know what she did, but it did indeed spring open into two halves. She bought them closer, struggling to catch their image in the faint light. But then she saw it, and it was yet another blow to her heart. Jaime had seemed put out when she had called it a show of his ownership of her, and now she saw why. The front of the locket was engraved with the lion of Lannister, and the words 'Hear me roar!' but on the inside there were two more etchings with mottos beneath them. The oak of House Cairhien 'don't back down' and the dragon of House Targaryen 'fire and blood'. Seeing that he had had the signs and mottos of the two Houses from which she had been born, and the House of which she was now a part of, engraved into a locket for her. It just confused Meidani all the more. She didn't know if everything that he had done for her was all simply an act, or if he actually cared. She wanted to think that he cared, but hoped it might have been an act. His betrayal might hurt less if she thought that he hadn't loved her anyway. That night, Meidani clutched the locket in her hands, and she tried to ignore the tears rolling down her face.

**Yiekes! Another long chapter, I don't know where they are coming from, I really don't!  
>But I hope that you guys enjoyed it, a nice family reunion next :D<strong>


	28. Family Reunion

**Thanks to reviewers: Dark Alana, BiteMeYouSuck, idratherbeinbritain  
>Don't forget about the awards!<br>IMPORTANT! I have a poll on my profile about which GoT fic I should start once this one is finished, please place your votes and help be choose. Thanks!  
><strong>

Chapter 28: Family Reunion

When she awoke the next day, Meidani could still feel the dried tears on her face, and hastily wiped them off before getting up. The others were already getting breakfast ready and saddling the horses, Meidani hated it when they didn't wake her with them. She wanted to help. She quickly climbed to her feet, and was rewarded with a sense of vertigo that nearly made her fall over again. She managed to steady herself though, and her maids looked up to see her.

"Morning miss," Penelope called.

"Morning, why did you girls wake me?" Meidani asked, "You know I don't like being that last one to get up."

"I know miss, but last night you kept tossing and turning and crying out in your sleep. We thought it might be best to let you get some proper rest before the long day's ride," Reana said.

"I'm so sorry! Did I keep you up?" Meidani inquired; feeling rather guilty.

"Don't fret about it miss, you have nothing to apologise for," Penelope soothed.

"But-"

"No buts," Reana interrupted, "Come and eat something miss."

Meidani found that she was rather hungry, and fell upon the dried meat that her maid offered her. The men had already packed up the camp, and in good time they began riding for the Dothraki city. Meidani was pleased to note that Reana urged her mount forwards so that she rode beside Jarred, Meidani herself rode beside Penelope, while Ser Jorah took the lead. They maintained a steady pace for the whole day, stopping once for food and water, before carrying on again. Meidani found herself cursing the infernal heat, even in King's Landing it had never reached temperatures like this. She found herself sweltering even in the light garments Magister Illyrio had given her, she had no idea how Ser Jorah and Jarred managed to walk around in long sleeves as they did. It was a wonder that both men didn't have red faces running with sweat.

"Do you ever regret leaving home and coming with me?" Meidani suddenly asked Penelope.

"No miss," was her instant reply, "I confess, I've always wanted to travel and have adventures, it's all just so thrilling!"

Meidani grinned, "Going on horseback through an endless sea of grassland?"

"This is all just a part of it, there's a whole other world out there," she gestured out into the horizon, "And I want to see it all."

"Well perhaps you will Penelope," Meidani said, "I certainly hope that you achieve your wish."

"Thank you miss, and thank you for taking me with you."

"It was no trouble, in fact, I am actually very glad that you and Reana asked to come with me."

Penelope laughed, "I think demanded might be a better word miss."

Meidani laughed with her, "You might be right at that."

"Umm, if you'll pardon my asking miss, I know that it's not my place and please don't feel that you have to answer this question," Penelope bit her lip, "Why did you decide to leave? I am not questioning your actions miss; I was just wondering what caused them? Because you and Ser Jaime seemed to be getting over your differences, and then…"

Meidani's face fell, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"I understand miss, but do you remember what I said last night? About how nothing should stand in the way of love? Do you think that perhaps…"

"Jaime Lannister never loved me, and whatever I felt for him can't recover from this, things will never be the same."

"Never give up hope," Penelope urged, "And I am sure that he cared for you to quite a large degree."

Meidani squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that threatened to seep out of them, "Penelope, I am grateful for your words and kindness. But it might not hurt so much if I believe that he never felt anything, and there is nothing left for me to have hope for. So there is nothing for me to give up."

"I'm sorry miss," Penelope whispered, "I didn't mean to-"

"Don't' worry about me," Meidani interrupted, "I will be find. I'll stand tall again, I am a Cairhien, and we carry on."

No more words passed between them for the duration of the ride, and Meidani was left alone to her turbulent thoughts. The fact that Penelope thought that perhaps Jaime had felt something for her did not help her sort out how she felt about him. Who was she kidding; she knew how she felt about him. And it tore her up inside. She was a monster. Who else could love such a man after all that he had done to her? That coin that someone had flipped must have landed on madness for her.

"There is it, the city of the Horse Lords," Jorah called; gesturing ahead of them.

It was like no other city Meidani had seen, mostly made up of tents and mud and stone buildings.

"It's so… exotic," Penelope breathed, "What do you suppose these Dothraki are like?"

"Every tale that I've heard has depicted them as savages," Meidani replied, "But we shouldn't judge them just because of that, I'm sure that they are simply _different_ to us. They have their culture and we have ours."

"Good logic little lady," Jarred acknowledged, "It would not do to offend the Dothraki."

"Ser Jorah," Meidani rode up so that she was beside him, "Tell me of my siblings. What are they like?"

He scrubbed a hand across his chin, "Viserys… he is very much like his father."

"So he's mad?" Meidani questioned bluntly.

"He… is very driven in his cause. He wants to go back to Westeros and reclaim the Iron Throne, he believes that it is his and calls himself the last dragon. He married Daenerys off to Kahl Drogo in exchange for his army, but I fear that he had become irrational over the long wait. Now that Dany if pregnant with the Kahl's child, his wait will be even longer."

Meidani rolled her eyes, "Great, another mad and power hungry Targaryen. Do you support his claim for the throne?"

"It is not my place to judge," he said simply, "But if Viserys were to cross the Narrow Sea and take back the Seven Kingdoms, then I do not know how long his reign would last."

"And what of my half sister? Is she like her brother?" Meidani asked.

"The Kahleesi is not at all like her brother, a little timid perhaps, but she is coming into her power. Dany is strong, she just needs to find that within herself," Jorah spoke softly and affectionately.

"And her husband? What is this Kahl Drogo like?" Meidani inquired.

"The Kahl is a great fighter, and he does treasure his wife," Jorah replied.

They were on the outskirts of the city now, and many Dothraki came out to greet Jorah. They stared at his companions with interest. He spoke some words in their language, and one of the men pointed out a direction.

"Come, the Kahleesi's tent is this way," Jorah said.

"Umm, Ser Jorah, why do they stare at us so?" Penelope asked.

"They stare because I bring another one of the Andels with me," Jorah replied; gesturing at Jarred, "And I also bring a girl who looks like the Kahleesi, a girl with mismatched hair and eyes, and a girl with hair of fire and eye of green. They have never seen such strange company before."

"Well the feeling is mutual I can assure you," Reana said; looking around the tribal men and women with curiosity.

They reached a tent larger than the rest, a Dothraki male stood guard outside.

"Ser Jorah," he greeted the knight in the Dothraki language, but then switched to the common tongue, "Who are your guests? And why does one of them look so like the Kahleesi? While another has hair the colour of the dragon's breath?" his language was better than Meidani had expected, but was still halting.

"Dragon's breath? Who do you think you're-" Penelope burst out, but was stopped when the Dothraki started laughing, "What's so funny?" she hissed.

"She has fire in her spirit too," the man commended, "What is you name?"

"My name?" Penelope arched an eyebrow, "It's Penelope, what's yours?"

"Rakharo," the man replied.

"Umm, are you two done?" Ser Jorah asked.

Penelope blushed, "Yup!"

Meidani struggled not to laugh, the girl was still shooting glances at the Dothraki. And Meidani swore that she saw the man tip her a wink. The girl certainly had him interested, what was that she had said about wanting adventures? Well Meidani thought that she had just found a pretty damn good one.

"Rakharo, is the Kahleesi free?" Ser Jorah inquired.

"She is," Rakharo replied, then ducked into the tent, he emerged quickly, "Enter."

Meidani looked at Ser Jorah, who gave her a small push towards the tent. Taking a deep breath, she entered to see her sister. Her eyes widened when they landed on the girl, who was studying Meidani with just as much intent, neither noticed as the others made their way into the tent as well. It was almost like looking in a mirror, they had the same long silver blonde hair, the same soft violet eyes. They possessed similarly shaped faces, but Daenerys' skin was darker than Meidani's; now doubt from spending so much time out in the sun clad in Dothraki garments. Meidani was also a little slighter and shorter than her half sister, she put that down to her mother's shortness though. The girl must have been making the same comparisons as Meidani, but the tension was broken when she offered her sister a smile. The girl rose and crossed to Meidani, then gave her a hug.

"Hello sister," she greeted.

Meidani hadn't been expecting this, but she hugged her back fiercely. And she even found tears rolling down her face, somehow this was a happy moment for her. She had never even known her father, but in the presence of her half sister, Meidani left a rush of affection. She had never had siblings before, but now she did. It felt so nice to know that she did in fact still have accepting family. The girl let her go, and pulled back to gaze at her.

"I assume that you have much to tell me sister," she said.

"Indeed, but can you see that my friends are given rest and refreshment?" Meidani inquired; subtlety hinting that she wanted to talk with her sister in private.

"Of course," Daenerys replied, "Rakharo?"

The man poked his head in, "Kahleesi?"

Dany spoke some words to him in Dothraki and he nodded.

"Go with him," she commanded the others, "He'll see that you get food and a place to rest. No doubt you have had a hard time travelling so far."

"Yes you miss," Reana and Penelope said; curtsying to Dany.

When the left the tent Meidani saw Penelope hang back to wait for Rakharo, dear gods the girl was returning his advances.

"So sister, tell me of yourself," Dany said; taking a seat and gesturing for Meidani to do the same.

"I am your father's bastard daughter, why are you so welcoming to me?" Meidani asked.

"You are family, and there are few enough members of our line as there is, why should I not be welcoming towards you?"

"I suppose you are right, I have no one left on my mother's side. She was a Cairhien."

"Ahh, my brother always told me how loyal that House was, I am sorry that they are lost. But tell me, I do not even know your name yet."

"Oh, I'm Meidani."

"I'm Daenerys, but I think that Jorah would have already told you that," Dany said wryly, "But you can just call me Dany. What happened to bring you out here sister?"

"I came to find you, but by the time I reached Pentos Illyrio told me that you had left. We followed you to Vaes Dothrak and now here we sit."

Dany smiled, "No, I don't mean that. I mean why cross the Narrow Sea to find me now?"

Meidani bit her lip, "it is a long story."

"It's okay, we can talk of it tomorrow, perhaps you will not be so weary from your journey then."

"Thank you sister," Meidani said earnestly.

"Daenerys! What is the meaning of this? Mormont just told me the most ridi-" a man entered the tent and stopped shouting mid sentence when he saw Meidani.

She assumed that this was Viserys Targaryen, her older half brother. He had the silver blonde hair of her and Daenerys, but his eyes were indigo blue as opposed to their violet. He was tall and lithe, but his hands shook slightly. His blue eyes held a cast of madness in them, and he gazed at Meidani in a way that she did not like one bit.

"Viserys, this is our sister, Meidani," Dany introduced.

"Meidani," he repeated; making her shudder, "Our father's bastard? Who was your mother."

"Penelope Cairhien," Meidani replied, "I'm the last Cairhien now. Not even that anymore."

"Ahh Penelope, I barely remember her. But she was at court a couple of times, father liked her," Viserys said.

Dany was giving her a puzzled look, "You do you say that you are no longer a Cairhien?"

Meidani smiled sadly, "I am married sister, but I shall tell you more tomorrow."

"Yes, you must be tired. But first, can you do something for me?"

"What is it Dany?" Meidani asked.

Dani walked over to a pot that had been left outside, she reached in and returned with a stone, "Hold this."

Meidani reached out to take it, and grinned. It was warm to touch, but Meidani suspected that to anyone else it would have been a lot more than simply warm.

"I see your test sister, do I pass?" Meidani teased.

Dany grinned widely, "You do indeed, would you like to join me for dinner? Perhaps we can talk then instead of tomorrow."

Meidani nearly laughed, Dany was eager to hear her story, "I would love that."

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	29. Bond Between

**Thanks for the reviews: Dark Alana, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, saverina,  
>DON'T FORGET: The Awards forum and the Poll on my page :D<br>Points for any Whoovians also reading this if you spot the 'Family Of Blood' reference. (A double episode featuring Harry Lloyd)**

Chapter 29: Bond Between

"I'll have Irri take you to your tent," Daenerys offered.

"Sweet sister, I know where it is, let me take our sister," Viserys said.

Panic shot through Meidani, she did not want to be left with her mad half brother.

Dany frowned, "Are you sure Viserys?"

"Perfectly, it will give me a chance to acquaint myself with me new sibling," Viserys said; offering Meidani a sly smile that made her cringe inside.

"Very well, join me later Meidani?"

"Of course, I will see you soon," Meidani assured; the exited the tent with her brother.

"So sister of mine," Viserys began; taking her arm against her will, "Give me news of Westeros. Illyrio tells me that people sing secret songs of my return."

"Err," Meidani doubted this, "I wouldn't know, I lived alone with my mother for most of my life, I didn't get out much."

"Most? When did that change?" he inquired.

"If it's all the same to you brother, I don't want to talk about it," Meidani snapped.

"Suit yourself," he grumbled.

Meidani rolled her eyes, gods he was such a child. How did he think that he could rule the Seven Kingdoms? At least Robert had begun his reign with promise, even if it turned out to go wrong. Viserys would be cast off the throne before the swords could take the time to prick his royal behind. He escorted her without saying a word for the rest of the way. And when she entered the tent that she had been given, he followed her in. She turned to him with a frown.

"I don't remember giving you permission to enter," she said.

"A King needs no permission," he replied haughtily.

Meidani's eyes narrowed, "but he does need manners and decency."

"You mentioned that you were married, who to?" he asked; suddenly changing the topic.

"It matters not," Meidani tried to brush it off.

"Yes it does, you are my sister, it matters a great deal," then his eyes caught sight of the engraving on her necklace, "A Lannister?" he hissed.

"Ser Jaime Lannister," Meidani corrected; unable to stop the smirk on her face, the man must have rubbed off on her, damn him to the seven hells.

"_Kingslayer_? The man who murdered our father?" Viserys thundered.

"Your father perhaps, but beyond siring me Aerys Targaryen has done nothing for me to see the light of good in him."

"You dare insult my father!"

"Can you not see sense? He was the Mad King Viserys, if you cannot face the truth how do you expect to be able to be a good King?" Meidani questioned; hating that she was using logic that Jaime had once used against her.

"The impudence!" he cried.

Then he lunged at her suddenly, bearing her to the ground with his weights and momentum. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. She struggled under him, but stilled herself the moment she felt the reaction it was getting. She was repulsed.

"Get. Off. Me," she commanded; punctuating her sentence for effect, and because she was talking through gritted teeth in her anger.

"No," he replied with a smirk.

"You will regret this," she threatened.

"Will I sister dear?" he inquired; shirting his grip so that he held bother wrists in one hand, he let the other trail down her arms and squeeze her breast hard, "I don't think so, I don't see why you mind so much, it is a rather common practice in our family. And if I can't have Dany, you made a good second choice."

"I am married," she hissed.

"Meaningless words when the monster is across the Narrow Sea."

"You are the only monster that I see. Remove yourself from me," she demanded.

"Make me," he invited; the brutally crushed his lips to hers.

Meidani shifted her leg for leverage, then swiftly jerked her knee up. It connected with Viserys in a place that was very sensitive for any man to be hit, and he groaned and released Meidani. She rolled to her feet and grabbed her dagger from where it lay atop her other belongings. Swiftly removing it from its sheath, she held it steadily, aimed at his heart.

He clambered to his feet, "You bitch," he cursed.

"Get out of my tent," she spoke in a low and dangerous tone, fire in her eyes, "I will not speak of this incident for my sister's sake. But if you ever come near me again, I will kill you. Dothraki traditions of no, your blood will run through the city of Vaes Dothrak. Do you understand me?"

He sent her a poisoned glare of madness, but stormed out of the tent. Meidani's hands began to shake, and she set the dagger down, before sinking to the floor. She was full of revulsion, and felt like she wanted to throw up. She had thought that being raped by Jaime all those months ago had been the worst thing in her life, being nearly being raped by her half brother trumped it. The Targaryen tradition of inter sibling relationships was repugnant to her, there was nothing more vile in her eyes. How could people even look at their siblings and think like that? She couldn't understand it. And yet somehow it still happened, and not just with the Targaryens. The information that she had received on Jaime and Cersei cut her like a knife. If it had been another woman it would have still hurt, but she might have been able to understand why, but with his sister? His _twin_? Meidani could simply not comprehend.

"Miss?" Reana's voice inquired from the tent entrance.

Meidani wiped the tears from her face and turned around, "Reana, please come in. Where's Penelope?"

Her maid's blue eyes rolled, "She's still flirting with that Dothraki, I mean _really_ flirting. It is very strange seeing her like this, so unlike her."

"And how is Jarred," Meidani teased.

"An idiot," Reana pronounced with a scowl on her face.

Meidani laughed, "I'm sure he is."

"Daenerys had these sent for you," Reana offered her a pile of Dothraki garments, "She thought that you might be more comfortable with the heat in them."

"My sister is a lifesaver," Meidani said; taking the clothes, "Thank you Reana."

Her maids shuffled awkwardly, and didn't leave the tent.

"What is it?" Meidani asked; putting the clothes to the side.

"Well miss, I am sorry to bring this up, but…" she trailed off.

"Yes?" Meidani prompted, "You can tell me."

"Penelope and I just noticed… umm…" she bit her lip, "I am so sorry miss, but when was the last time you bled?" Reana asked; voice getting smaller as she went on.

Meidani's eyes widened and her hands flew to her stomach, "I can't be," she breathed, "We only…"

But once was enough it seemed, her maids were right, it made been longer than a month since Meidani's last bleeding. She was once again pregnant with Jaime's child. It seemed that their night together had been enough for her to conceive, even so soon after losing her first baby. She could feel nothing yet, but things started to click together in her head. She had been feeling odd over the past few weeks, and had been eating far more than usual. And on the boat, her seasickness, perhaps that hadn't all been down to the ocean travel.

"Miss? I'm sorry to bring it up is it distressed you… but I just thought you should know," Reana said.

A small smile spread across Meidani's face. Oh how evil she was. Her husband had betrayed her, and yet she could feel nothing but joy at the thought had carrying another child within her. She would do everything in her power to ensure that this one made to into the world alive. Jaime may never even know that she carried his child again. A bitter thought entered her head, _at least he still has three others from his sister_.

"Don't feel bad, this is good news," Meidani said.

Reana grinned, "I am happy for you miss."

"I'm happy as well, so long since I felt that, now I had probably better get changed. I will take dinner with my sister tonight, but I'll see you all tomorrow."

"Yes miss, enjoy yourself," Reana bobbed a curtsy and made her way out.

"Thank you!" Meidani called to her retreating back, she got a wave in response.

She swiftly changed into the Dothraki garments, feeling a little underdressed at first, but overall she felt much better. The light leather did not engulf her like her other clothes, and she had much freer movement. She looked down at her pale stomach, exposed by the cropped top she had, and gently caressed it with her hands. Somewhere in there, her baby was forming, and she would hold this one in her arms. She was certain of that. When she emerged, she tried locating Dany's tent on her own, but got a little lost after a while. She had to ask for directions from one of the nearby Dothraki, not an easy thing to do with the language barrier. But she managed, and got a pointed finger in the right direction. Dany grinned when Meidani entered, and once more got up to embrace her sister, Meidani hugged her back.

"Are the clothes okay?" Dany asked.

"They're fine, brilliant even," Meidani assured, "It's so much easier to bear the heat now."

"I know how you feel, it was a relief to me as well. Come, we have much to discuss." She drifted over and sat down.

"You first," Meidani urged; taking a seat beside her sister.

"Well the first few years of my life were happy if I remember," a smile crossed Daenerys' face, "We lived in a lovely house with a big red door, and I had a lemon tree outside of my bedroom window. But when our guard died, the servants stole the money and turned us out. We've been on the run since then, never staying anywhere long, Viserys always said that the Usurper's hired knives were after us and we had to keep moving to avoid them. We eventually made it to Pentos, where we stayed with Magister Illyrio for a while, that was nice, he was always good to us. Viserys says that it's just because he knows that he'll be rewarded when my brother sits on the Iron Throne, but I think that he is also a good man. Anyway, I was betrothed to Kahl Drogo so that my brother could have an army with which to invade the Seven Kingdoms. But first we have to go and seek approval from the Dosh Kahleen, which is why we came to Vaes Dothrak. Also," Dany blushed, "I carry Drogo's child."

Meidani grinned, "I am happy for you sister."

"And what of your story?" Dany inquired.

"It is a bit longer than yours," Meidani warned.

"That doesn't matter, we have the whole evening," Dany assured, "Take your time."

Meidani took a steadying breath, and then began. "I was conceived when Aerys Targaryen forced himself on my mother. She felt the palace after that, and I don't know where she was headed; perhaps to her fiancée Benjen Stark, but I'll never know. On the way she found out that she carried me inside her, and her plans changed. She fled elsewhere, and I grew up in a secluded house sheltered from sight. I was never allowed to leave the area, although my mother sometimes ventured out to the nearby village. I used to complain about how boring it was, but now I just want her back." A tear slipped from her eye, "She was found, and Jaime Lannister came to kill her. They somehow found out about me, and he said that if I revealed myself quickly he would spare her, false words. After that I was taken back to his camp and he… he…" Meidani stumbled, "He forced himself on me."

Daenerys came over and wrapped an arm around her, "I am sorry you had to lose your mother, and go through all of that."

"After than I was taken back to King's Landing," Meidani continued, "Where Jaime requested that I become his wife. I begged the King to kill me, but he thought that I would suffer more as Lady Lannister, so he agreed with Jaime. We were married at Casterly Rock, and after that a lot of my life is just blank. I went through a period of great withdrawal and submission, I barely lived. But then I found out that I was pregnant, and life returned to me, I renewed my old habits of fighting back. When the Hand of the King died and we set out for Winterfell, Jaime had started getting protective and caring, on the way I was nearly killed. But my horse saved me, and Jaime killed the would be assassin. The shock was too much for my body though, and I lost my baby." Tears continued to flow, "I never even got to hold her in my arms, I never got to so much as touch my baby girl. After that things started to change between my husband and I. He was always there to comfort me, and it was only then that I realised that he had changed a long time ago, and I had never noticed. I started to care for him, love him, and I believed that he might care for me too. And one night in Winterfell, everything came tumbling out. It was the happiest night of my life. But the next day… I found Bran Stark's broken body at the foot of a tower, he was pushed, but Jaime Lannister. He had apparently seen my husband and his sister the Queen, together. The news broke me, I had just allowed myself to believe that I loved him, and then I found out that he was having an affair with his sister. I ran, and I came to find the only family I have left. And today I found that out last night together left its mark, I'm pregnant again."

Throughout Meidani's tale Dany had remained largely silent, just giving her the silent comfort of her hug. Meidani had began to cry during her story, and Dany grabbed a cloth for her to wipe away the tears. Meidani didn't know why she had told her sister everything that had happened, as opposed to skipping out certain details, but she was glad that she had. It was nice to have someone to tell, rather than keep it locked up within herself.

"What sort of monster am I?" Meidani cried, "I love a man who murdered my mother, raped me, and had no doubt committed other evils in his life."

"I love Kahl Drogo," Dany whispered, "And he has done deeds just like those in his past. But that is all they are, deeds of his past. I truly love him, so I look past those. Just as you truly love Jaime, so you look past his old actions."

"I can't look past this though," Meidani choked, "How can I?"

"Things will always sort themselves out in the end, and anyway sister, be happy. You carry a child, and that is a fine reason to rejoice."

Meidani managed a crocked smile, she supposed that it was.

**Reviews?**


	30. King Of Kings

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana, chescake, saverina,  
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>A.N. I know that I didn't get the dialogue exactly right, please forgive me.<strong>

Chapter 30: King Of Kings

Meidani watched intently as her sister kept on eating the stallion's heart. She marvelled at how she managed to keep eat bite of raw meet down, looking into her husband's eyes for strength. Her hands were stained in bright red blood and her mouth was covered in the substance. But she kept on, raising the heart to her mouth to once more take a bite out of the raw meat. Meidani stood beside Ser Jorah Mormont, who was translating the ceremony for the various non Dothraki speaking people present. Meidani was hardly listening though, the words mattered not to her, her focus was on her sister; and in sending her what strength she could. Dany had one more bit of heart left to eat, and she put it in her mouth without hesitation. When she heaved forward, Meidani feared that she might throw up the heart that she had just struggled so hard to eat. Drogo clearly feared for his wife too, for he leaned forward in his seat, eyes intent. Dany held herself together though, and raised her head to stare at the Dosh Kahleen. A great cry went up from the Dothraki, and this time Meidani heard Ser Jonah's translation.

"The stallion who shall mount the world, a Kahl of Kahls; he will unite the people into a single kahlesar, the people of the world shall be his."

Dany stood up and began pacing the dais, crying out in Dothraki, the crowd went silent in order to hear their Kahleesi's words, rapt expressions of their faces. At the end of her speech Meidani heard the word 'Rheago' and the crowd kept on chanting it, Meidani guessed that this was what she was going to call the boy. It sounded similar to Rhaegar, which was probably where Dany had gotten it from, to commemorate her murdered older brother. Drogo stood up and took his wide into his arms, and began pacing around the small stage, staring up into her eyes; all the while the people kept on chanting out the name of his son. Rheago, Kahl of Kahls. Meidani joined in the chanting, adding her voice to the Dothraki, calling to her sister's unborn child. Dany looked around with a smile on her face, and gazed down into her husband's eyes; the love they had for each other was clear on their faces, and Meidani found herself slightly jealous. She knew that expression, she had seen it before, but to her it had all been nothing more than a lie. Dany looked briefly at Meidani, and she grinning, Meidani smiled back. She did not notice until she turned around that Viserys and Jorah had left the ceremony, she shot Jarred a questioning glance, but he merely shrugged his shoulders.

Suddenly, the woman of the Dosh Kahleen called for silence, and the crowd looked to her expectantly. She cried out some words in Dothraki, and pointed at Meidani. This worried her, what was it? Dany got the Kahl to put her down, and walked calmly over to her sister.

"Meidani, she says that she and the others saw you coming, and that you must take part in the ceremony," Dany said.

"I have been, didn't you see me?" Meidani teased.

Dany bit her lip and shook her head, "They knew of your coming before you got here, and they made ready for you. They want you to go up on the stage and eat a heart."

Meidani's stomach turned, "They want me to do what now?"

"Eat a heart," Dany repeated, "Please, they are the rulers here, and it would not do well to offend them."

"I don't mean to, but honestly Dany. I could hardly keep normal food down on the boat trip when I was pregnant, how in the seven hells to you think I'm going to manage a raw heart?"

"I did it, and I know that you can, you are strong," Dany praised.

"But I'm not Dothraki," Meidani protested.

"Neither am I," Dany pointed out.

"But you are married to Kahl Drogo, and carry the stallion who will mount the world," Meidani said, "You are meant to take part in ceremonies like this."

"Meidani, I know that you are not of the Dothraki nor are you married to one. But the Dosh Kahleen would not offer this to any outsider normally, there must be something important about you and the child you carry."

"But I am not from this continent, surely me eating a stallion's heart won't tell them much," Meidani argued.

"They don't have a stallion's heart for you, they have gotten you a lion's heart. Difficult to get, but they must think that you are worth it."

"A _lion's_ heart?" Meidani repeated incredulously.

Dany nodded.

"They certainly prepare in advance don't they," Meidani grumbled.

"Sister, you don't _need_ to do this. But I would strongly advise that you do, the Dosh Kahleen are wise, and they may be able to advise you," Dany said.

"But I don't speak Dothraki, I won't know what she's saying," Meidani put in one last ditch protest.

"I will translate for you, fear not sister, it is hard but you are strong," Dany encouraged.

Meidani had no idea of what in the seven hells was possessing her right now, but she found herself nodding to her sister's insane request. The moment her head moved, she was lifted up onto the stage by Rakharo, and stood there rather awkwardly. The Dothraki were eyeing her with interest, probably wondering why their leaders thought to read the omens for a foreign woman. The Dosh Kahleen once more took up their dancing, and a box was brought before Meidani. She slowly lifted up its lid, and fought not to vomit before she had even started. A large heart lay within, still red with what appeared to be fresh blood, glistening in the faint light of the room. Taking in a shuddering breath, she picked it up in her hands. The meat felt slippery, so she had to get a strong hold on it, blood already began to run down her pale arms.

When she took the first bite, and the raw taste of flesh filled her mouth, she seriously considered pulling out of this insane ceremony. But then she remembered Dany's words, telling her that she was strong and that she could do this, so Meidani carried on. Tearing off bites of the though meat, and forcing herself to chew the stuff and swallow it down. Her stomach felt strange already, but she kept on going, not wanting to give up and shame her sister or herself. To give herself strength she tried looking at her sister, but she was so enveloped in the ceremony, crying out translations in the common tongue from Dothraki. Meidani was so caught up in concentrating on her task that she did not even hear the words her sister cried out. So instead, Meidani closed her eyes, and she was left with her imagination. And in her mind, she saw Jaime, smirking arrogantly as his green eyes danced with laughter. He would give her provoking remarks every time she felt like she was about to give up, and he would encourage her every time she got another bite down. When at last she had the last bit of heart in her mouth, the imaginary Jaime put his arms around her.

"_Well done my little dragon_."

Meidani held one hand over her mouth, and one hand over her stomach, as if this would somehow keep the meat inside of her. It threatened to make one final appearance, and Meidani nearly heaved over, but seeing the wordless encouragement and love in Jaime's eyes stopped her. She placed her hands beside her, and stood up for all to see. She was in just as bad shape as her sister, blood all down her arms and across her face. But she was filled with a sense of great triumph as well. She had done it, she had eaten their lion's heart. She was now curious as to what the Dosh Kahleen had been saying while she was fighting to keep every morsel down, but she would have to ask her sister later about that. The ceremony was not done yet, and as Meidani stood with her head held high, the Dosh Kahleen began one final round of chanting. Dany translating all the way, her voice will of fever.

"I feel him! He will ascend the cub in stag's clothing! The lion who shall rule the world! He shall bind the kingdoms together to form a single people, and his word shall be their voice! He rides his wars, and meets his enemies without a shred of fear! The true heart of a lion beats within him! His people will love him and his enemies tremble to hear his name! He rules with claws of dragonsteel and paws of velvet! A true King of Kings! He shall rule the lands beside the Kahl of Kahls and together their might is unstoppable!"

Another cry went up from the Dothraki, and Meidani was filled with emotions that she could not name. Her son would be great! He would be fierce and good, he would have the lion of his House residing within him. Her son would be King. Meidani didn't know how that would come about, and she didn't know what she was entirely comfortable with him being in a place of such deceit. But his future was so vast that Meidani did not want to contest the Dosh Kahleen, if her son would be King, then so be it! She carried this knowledge in her heart, but she knew that she would not breathe a word of it to her son. It would be better if he lived his future without knowing what it would bring, too much knowledge of it could change it. She became aware that the people were looking at her expectantly; and realised that there was one final part. Looking to her sister with an unsaid question, Dany nodded, and Meidani began circling on the dais.

"My son grows within me, the son of a lion, and he too shall be a lion! He will be a great warrior, and a mighty King. His name shall be known throughout the known world, and that name shall be Jaiden!"

As the Dothraki had cried out for Rheago, Kahl of Kahls; they now cried out for Jaiden, King of Kings. Meidani looked over them with pride, hearing them call for her son, and placed a hand on her belly. _Can you hear them little one? They cry out for you, you will be magnificent,_ Meidani said silently to her child; her son.

**/*0*/**

The next morning was a hard time for Meidani. Last night there had been a feast in honour of the news about Kahl Drogo's son, and Meidani had been allowed to attend. People also came to congratulate her, only being able to say 'King of Kings' in the common tongue, but Meidani managed to guess at the rest. It had been a fun night for the most part, Meidani got to talc a little to her sister's husband, albeit with her sister acting as translator though. And she saw Reana trying to win Jarred over, the man was clearly falling for the girl, but he was being a stubborn fool and not realising it. Penelope was busy exchanging flirts with Rakharo, Meidani shook her head, really? The girl had not taken at all long to gain the Dothraki man's favour, and he was clearly entranced by her. Keeping up his stern warrior exterior of course, but Meidani saw him left a hand to touch Penelope's hair when she wasn't look. And she had to bite her tongue not to laugh, hair of fire eh?

The revelry had not lasted though, the mad Viserys had barged in. Baring steel in Vaes Dothrak and threatening the life of his sister and her child, demanding that he get his promised army. Kahl Drogo seemed to listen, and promised his a crown of gold. This distracted Viserys enough so that the Kahls bloodriders could force him to his knees in front of the Kahl. Drogo had then proceeded to melt up his golden belt, and 'crown' Viserys with it. The hiss of burned flesh and the screams of the Targaryen shocked Meidani, she was unable to say or do anything. But her shock was also partly from the words that he had screamed at her.

"And I'll kill you too, you bastard whore! You and your son of a monster! I will not let you take my throne from me! There will be no lions on the Iron Throne, only dragons! I will see that you never get back to the Seven Kingdoms!"

His words had haunted Meidani's sleep, and when she woke she realised why. She rose and dressed quickly, then made her way to her sister's tent. Thankfully she was awake, and her husband was nowhere to be seen. Meidani cautiously entered.

"Sister," Dany greeted warmly, "I am so happy for you."

"And I for you," Meidani said; embracing the girl, "But I have some sad news."

A frown creased Dany's forehead, "What is it?"

"I cannot stay, I must go back to Westeros."

"But why?" Dany asked.

"Jaiden is to be a King of Kings, uniting kingdoms and ruling the lands beside your Rheago. He must go home, and grow up in Westeros. I did not make the connections until last night, but the Iron Throne will one day be his."

Dany bit her lip, "I will be sad to see you go sister."

"And I will miss you," Meidani replied honestly, "But things will work out, we'll see each other again."

"When do you leave?"

"I would like to go today, so that I might make as good time as possible back to Pentos. With luck I can be back some before my baby is born."

"Sister? May I offer you some advice?" Dany inquired shyly.

"Of course!"

"When you go back home, return to your husband. Don't hide away from him. I know that what he has done is horrible, but you love him sister, I see it in your eyes whenever you play with your locket. And he should know his son. Go to him," Dany urged.

"But how can I after what he has done?"

"You will find a way, love will help you."

"Thank you sister, I will… think on your words," Meidani said.

"No sister, thank you. I will miss you so much," Dany came up and gave Meidani a big hug.

Meidani embraced her back, "Goodbye sister," she whispered.

"Farewell, until we next meet," Dany replied.

When Meidani left her sister's tent, Jarred was waiting outside with her horse. She had told him and her maids of her plans first, and they should be ready to depart by now. Reana was mounted and ready, but Penelope walked over to Meidani and looked down at her feet rather awkwardly.

"Miss, it has been a pleasure to accompany you through everything," she began, "But-"

"Can you stay here?" Meidani filled in the rest.

Penelope blushed, "That was my question yet. It's just that the Dothraki are so unique and amazing!"

Meidani laughed, "And of course Rakharo has nothing whatsoever to do with this opinion?"

Penelope grinned, "That would just inflate his ego."

"I will miss your company," Meidani said honestly.

"I'll miss you too miss, but don't' worry, I'll keep a good eye on your sister for you, Make sure that she's alright and everything."

"Thank you Penelope, for all that you've done," Meidani hugged her maid goodbye.

"No miss, thank you," Penelope said while hugging her back, "You have given me such a wonderful opportunity here, I will never forget you."

She walked with them until they reached the end of Vaes Dothrak, where she waved them off. Meidani looked at the long road that they had travelled down not so long ago. She wondered if she was doing the right thing, if she really wanted to go through with this. Leave the sister she had just found, and the people who had accepted her, to go back to a land of mistrust. It was a hard choice for her to make, but she had to remember that she was not just making it for herself. She smiled down at her belly, her son was her main priority now. She would always put herself second to him. He needed to grow up in Westeros, so to Westeros she would go. Even if it meant once more being around the man who she loved, and who had broken her.

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	31. Gone Forever

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Chapter 31: Gone Forever 

It had been a year since Meidani had left the Dothraki, but still she had not made it back to Westeros. The ride from Vaes Dothrak back to Pentos had taken them far longer than the original journey. But that was all Meidani's fault. Well, not really. She would have kept on going, but whenever she felt something from the baby, Reana would demand that they halt so that she could rest. She was fine! But no matter what protest she put up, she was always put back down. It was like the Kingsroad all over again, people were just so silly when it came to pregnancies. Meidani had tried to appeal to Jarred for help, thinking that surly he would take her side and insist that they carry on to make good time. The traitor. He had always sided with Reana, lovesick idiot. And so the journey had taken them over two months, and by the end of it Meidani was sick of travel. When they finally arrived in Pentos, Illyrio greeted them warmly, a change from his original weariness.

"Meidani! I did not expect you back, how is your sister?" he inquired.

"She is well Magister, but I cannot say the same for Viserys," she replied.

"So I heard, a great tragedy, the last dragon," Illyrio said mournfully.

"He was no dragon," Meidani corrected, "Dany is that."

"Yes quite right," Illyrio agreed; changing his opinion rather quickly, "I hear that congratulations are in order for you though my dear."

"Magister?" she quirked an eyebrow questioningly.

"You're pregnancy," he clarified, "Please accept my humble invitation to remain in residence at my abode."

"Thank you Magister, but I will continue on to Westeros," she said politely.

"What my lady means, is that she would love to accept," Reana put in.

Meidani shot her a glare, "We must get back."

"Miss you need to take this easy, your child must be born safely," Reana argued.

"He can be born just fine in the Seven Kingdoms," Meidani shot back.

"If I may, for the safety of the child at least, I strongly suggest you take my offer. It is far better to be safe than sorry in these matters," Illyrio interjected.

"I am fine, as is my child," Meidani snapped.

"With all due respect little lady, I think that you had best take the Magister up on his offer," Jarred said, "The Seven Kingdoms will still be there when Jaiden is born, and you will be safer."

Meidani narrowed her eyes at him, "Are you just agreeing cause it's what Reana wants?"

"No little lady, I am looking out for your welling being," he replied; the corner of his lip twitching only slightly.

Meidani turned on the Magister, "Illyrio, I'm not saying that you're not a good person, but I am saying that when you do something you have a motive for it. The wellbeing of me and my unborn child it not what is driving your desire to have us stay. So tell me Magister, why do you want me in Pentos and not Westeros?"

The Magister looked flustered, "My lady-"

She held up a hand, "Let us skip the unnecessary pleasantries Illyrio, tell me."

"Right now the Seven Kingdoms are a dangerous place. Lord Eddard Stark is in King's Landing as Hand of the King, and Robert is growing ever more unmanageable. The Queen grasps for her son's power, wanting to place him on the Iron Throne, and the levels of treachery and deceit have increased tenfold. It is simply not safe for one carrying a child as important as yours."

"What is your motive though?" she persisted, "And don't say simple care, we both know that that is not the case."

"Well let us just say that I have heard some Dothraki prophecies," he replied enigmatically.

"Ahh," Meidani nodded in understanding, "You think that your kindness here will be rewarded later?"

"I do not presume to know what the future will hold."

"But you do presume to try and manipulate it in your favour," she said, "And let me tell you Magister, whatever place my son has in the future, it will be one of truth and justice. Not veiled help and false promises."

He bowed his head, "As you say my lady, but all the same, my home is yours."

Meidani wanted to reject his offer purely on principle now, but she could not only think for herself anymore. Jaiden came first, and Illyrio's words on the dangers that now prowled the Seven Kingdoms had worried her greatly. She didn't know whether she could trust what he said, considering he didn't exactly have the best of motives, but then again she could not simply dismiss it. She would have done so once, but she did not want to risk Jaiden, her son was more important than her misgivings. Weighing up her options in her mind, she fought to come to a decision. Then she realised that by remaining here she could avoid seeing Jaime for longer, and her mind was made up.

"Thank you for your offer of hospitality Magister, I would be glad to accept," she said graciously.

"You are most welcome, please feel free to stay for as long as you wish."

**/*0*/**

Meidani had ended up staying for quite a long time indeed. She was actually glad that she had remained there during her pregnancy, things would have been so hectic about it back in Westeros. She had meant to return as soon as Jaiden was born, but had ended up staying for another few months because sickness had taken her. She had been left weak after giving birth, and remained so for a while after. Jaiden was wonderful though, so healthy and full of life. Words could never be able to describe the rush of emotions that she surged through her when she held her baby in her arms for the first time. He had hair of the same silver blonde as she, but when he had opened his little eyes they had been Lannister green; already full of fire and promise. It felt so strange, here was a part of her, he had come _from_ her. She felt so connected to him, that she feared if something here to happen to him she would break open; as she had come very close to doing when she lost his elder sister. She tried not to think that the only reason she had not done so was because of the support given to her by Jaime.

She had gotten quite good at not thinking about him over the past few months, it had become second nature for her to now shy away from thought to do with him. Over the last months she had almost forgotten her other life, except when she looked into the eyes of her son; the exact same green as his father's. She could not forget, no matter how hard she tried. And she knew that someday she would have to face Jaime Lannister again, and had spent a long time pulling up walls to guard herself when that time came. She planned to return to Westeros within a few days, and had to be ready when she did get back. She had just come from a meeting with Illyrio, about plans for the future and also thanking him for what he had done, and was hurrying back to her rooms.

Reana and Jarred had grown closer over the months, and Meidani expected to hear of their engagement soon. She smiled as she entered the room, that would be a joyous occasion indeed. In her arms she carried a present from Illyrio, an beautiful ceramic sculpture, which she had to pack carefully among her belongings. It would never make it to her trunk though. When she had was halfway across her room, she heard the door shut behind her, when she had made no move to close it. She turned to see who had done so, and dropped the sculpture, it shattered into a thousand fragments on the floor. Much like her heart had shattered a year ago.

"Nice to see you too little dragon, it has been far too long," Jaime drawled; leaning casually against the door.

All of her plans for when she next saw him, all of the things that she had vowed to do, flew right out of her head in that moment. He was here, in her room, gazing at her with his beautiful green eyes. She could do nothing but stare, taking in the face that she had not realised she had missed so much, unable to tear her violet gaze from him. He seemed equally intent on studying her, eyes never once leaving her face, full of something that she couldn't quite decipher. He began making his way towards her, taking slow steps to close the distance. But they were strained, as if he wanted to run, but for some reason he held himself back. He did not stop until he was right in front of Meidani, their eyes had never broken contact, and she had not taken a single step back. Then things happened very quickly; he leaned forward and in one smooth motion had her pulled up against him, his lips on hers. Her own arms were beyond her control, weaving themselves of their own accord into his hair, and her lips kissed his back with passion. But she regained control of her limbs, and used it to slap him across the face, backing several large steps away. Shocked didn't quite do justice to the expression on his face. They were both breathing hard, having put much force and emotion into their kiss.

"That was… unexpected," he noted.

"What are you doing here Lannister," she hissed.

He arched an eyebrow, "You were a lot more welcoming half a minute ago."

"Consider the welcome worn out," she snapped.

"My your temper has not faded one bit."

"Neither has your ability to avoid answering questions."

"Why am I here? I am here because you are. And why are you here little dragon? Why did you run from me?" he inquired.

"I am here for good reason, how did you find me?"

"Oh a little bird told me, quite a while ago actually, but I thought that you might be safer in the Free Cities."

"You're concern for my welfare is truly touching," she mocked.

"Answer my question little dragon, why did you run?"

"Like you care," she retorted.

Anger flared into sudden life within his green eyes, and she had forgotten what they looked like when they blazed.

"You don't me? You don't that I even spared a thought for you in your absence? Do you know what _happened_ after you left? I had the whole of Winterfell nearly tore apart to find you! I had people looking all over the Seven Kingdoms! I had to lie and say that I knew exactly where you were, that you were at Casterly Rock recovering. And all the while I spent in a mad panic trying to find you! For one year you have been gone, for one year do you know what I have gone through? On top of you pulling a magical disappearing act, much has happened little dragon. Hands and Kings have died, wars have been fought, and I myself spent some time as captive to King Robb Stark as he is now called in the North. And all the while you never left my thoughts. Don't you dare doubt me."

During his rant he had began pacing, and his voice had risen to a shout. The noise and tension filled the room, and some must have spilled into the small room next door. For a small wail began to fill the air, the sound of a child crying. Jaime's head snapped round, and he marched towards the noise. Meidani didn't stop him, but leaned against the doorframe as he stared down at the crying baby. Jaiden's eyes were screwed shut and his hair stuck up around his little face. Jaime stared down at the child with an expression of controlled fury.

"What is this?" he asked; voice low and dangerous.

"_He_ is a child Lannister, have you never seen one?" she retorted.

"I spent all that time worrying," he whispered, "But you clearly had no worries about me. Who's child is this? Did you let your brother fuck you? Or perhaps you let some Dothraki horse man mount you like a bitch; I bet you enjoyed that didn't you?"

Meidani moved quicker than she ever had before, and another slap fell upon his cheek. Meidani reached into his cradle and gently rocked Jaiden back and forth. His wailing soon stopped, and he leaned contentedly against his mother.

"This is Jaiden," Meidani whispered; and turned the baby to look at Jaime.

The baby studied Jaime with curious green eyes, while eyes of the exact same shade widened in shock as they recognised the truth.

"My son," Jaime breathed, "He is mine."

"I would never have the child of anyone else," Meidani said softly, "You are a monster Jaime. You murdered my mother right in front of me after promising mercy, you raped me only a few hours after that. Then you took me to King's Landing and onto Casterly Rock to force me to be your bride. And that is only what you have done to me, not including all of the other past things you have done in your life. But I? I am a far worse monster than you. It is one this to commit such deeds, that it truly horrendous. But to be someone who knows of them, but looks past them and falls in love with the monster, they are even worse. And I did fall in love with you Jaime Lannister, in spite of all that you did, I gave you my heart. But you broke it."

"What did I do?" he asked.

"Who brought Bran Stark in from his fall?" she asked.

Jaime frowned, "His brother Robb, the boy was already unconscious."

"And Arya Stark was the one to fetch her brother, but _I_ was the one to send Arya Stark. We found Bran on the ground, but he was not unconscious then. I found out about what happened, and so I ran. I ran because I could not bear to think that after I had finally given in, you had gone and taken your pleasure with your sister. I ran because I could not face my broken heart, and I did not think that I would come back."

Jaime had gone completely still, "You found out did you?"

Meidani nodded, and a traitorous tear spilt down her face, she wiped it away before he could.

"Fear not husband, I was planning to return to Westeros, But sickness delayed me. I shall go back, but do not think that things will go back to how they were. If not for Jaiden I would stay away, but my son is more important than the shattered fragments of my heart. I will return with you, but whatever we have is gone forever, and it will never return. I love you still, in spite of everything, but just because I love you does not mean that I can stand to have that love thrown back in my face in favour of one who shares your blood."

"Meidani," his voice finally returned, "I swear to you, Cersei and I are done."

"I'm sorry Jaime, but it would take a lot more than that."

"What can I do?"

An empty smile filled her face, "I don't know. I just don't know anymore."

**Eek! The story is getting close to the finish :( I will miss it!  
><strong>


	32. Another Side

**Thanks for the reviews: Dark Alana, chescake, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x,  
>Don't forget to vote in the poll on my page and nominate for the Christmas Awards! VERY IMPORTANT!<br>This chapter is Jaime's POV at the start of the story and when he realises, hope that you guys like it!**

Chapter 32: Another Side

Jaime was bored as he rode out of his camp that morning. Robert had heard some far flung rumour from one of Lord Varys' spies, and was now in a mad panic. The man was so convinced that everyone wanted to steal his throne, and constantly saw ghosts of his former enemies with new faces grasping for it. The man was an idiot, a fat idiot at that, he didn't deserve to rule. Jaime could have done so, had he wanted it, he himself had sat upon the Iron Throne. But it was in that very moment that he realised he would never want to be King, or have anything to do with gaining power like that. The throne itself was a most uncomfortable thing, made of hard unyielding iron, and the points of the swords had dug into him painfully. But it was not simply the discomfort that put him off, as he gazed down at the body of the King he had just betrayed, he discovered that he was simply sick of it all. The lies, the backstabbing (literally in his case), all of the smoked mirrors and false truths that came so easily to those who stayed at court to live a nobleman's life.

He knew that his family had a history of ambition, his father, his sister, even his little brother; although the latter not to the extent that Tywin and Cersei would be prepared to do. Perhaps it was the concept of honour that had been grilled into him when he was just a squire of fifteen, but Jaime wanted to live as honestly as he could. Oh he would lie if it was required, but who did not? Lies were the one thing that you need never teach children, they did so automatically. At he would kill, that is what he had trained his whole life to do. But he vowed then and there that he would never stab another man in the back, but instead, always face him in open combat. There was no victory in him for what he had done, only guilt. Sure, it was serving the better cause, had the Mad King lived all hell may have broken loose, and it very nearly had anyway. But he could never shake of that sense of betrayal, it followed him like a shadow, playing at the corners of his mind.

Ah well, the King's latest scare was that a bunch of Cairhien loyalists were hiding out about two days ride from King's Landing, and they were plotting to overthrow him. It was ridiculous, the Cairhiens had been wiped out during the Sack of King's Landing, Tywin Lannister had seen to that. And they had never had that many supporters anyway, having been so ingratiated with the Targaryens, their supports were really one and the same. And why support a dead House when the scions of another lived in exile? The King's other petty paranoia, that Viserys Targaryen would take back the Iron Throne for his family. He never listened to the reports saying that Viserys on the same mad track as his father, he never listened to anyone. Jaime often wondered how things might have been different had Rhaegar been crowned King, but his actions had stopped that. Why in the seven halls had he kidnapped the Stark girl?

There was a village nearby, so Jaime stopped to inquire if there was anyone living nearby who didn't want to be found. People held their tongues at first, but a nice show of Lannister gold soon changed that, they were all to happy to point out the direction of the house in the wood, and tell him of its inhabitants. They only ever saw the woman, a lady who fit the description of Penelope Cairhien perfectly; but that woman was supposed to be dead. It mattered not to him though; his orders had been to kill all there, so he would do so. Some other reports had been far more interesting, apparently the woman had a daughter who lived with her, but she never left the house. And according to someone who once was curious and went close, she had pale silver hair and violet eyes. A Targaryen's colours, on a Cairhien bastard. It could only have been Penelope then, he remembered the night he had guarded the door as Aerys had raped the girl. She had only been eighteen and engaged to Benjen Stark at that, but nothing stopped the Mad King when he wanted something.

In good time they made it to the house, and Jaime was more than happy to knock down the door and barge in. Penelope was waiting for them, she had not changed much over the years.

"Penelope Cairhien, it has been a long time," he called; putting a false cheerful edge to his voice.

"Jaime Lannister, if only it could have been longer," she shot back.

"You have rather a lot of nerve, speaking to me in that fashion," he noted.

"It runs in my family," she replied.

"How true, too bad that that they're all dead," he said mockingly.

"That blame lies with you," she mother hissed.

"No, it lies with them," he corrected, "They refused to swear fealty to Robert and remained loyal to the Targaryens, I merely carried out my orders."

"Like a good little dog," she sneered.

"I tire of your banter," Jaime said; a more dangerous tone creeping into his voice, her insult stung, "I heard rumours in that little town about you. And there were other rumours as well. They spoke of a daughter of yours, a daughter with Targaryen colouring."

"The townspeople have let their imaginations run away with them, I have no children," she replied; but Jaime caught the flicker of fear in her eyes..

"Oh? So there was no child produced that night that Aerys Targaryen ravaged you for hours?" Jaime inquired; making her wince.

"No," Penelope's reply was short, and there was barely held back anger in her voice, but it still didn't ring true.

"Hmm, you know what? You Cairhiens may have been courageous, but I never met a single one of you who could tell a lie," Jaime said, "So tell me Penelope, where is the bastard?"

"You'll never find her, she's fled to her siblings," she hissed.

He made a tutting sound, "What have I said about Cairhiens and lying? No matter, there are other ways. Men, search the house."

They quickly ran to do as he bid, and he and Penelope were left standing in the hallway. Neither of them said a word, neither of them had anything to say really. Her expression was pinched though, and she looked worried. Oh yes, she was definitely hiding something.

"We found nothing ser," one of his man informed.

"That's not good now is it?" Jaime said, "Ah well, I suppose that we shall just have to resort to more extreme methods."

"What are you talking about?" Penelope asked; panic seeping into her voice for the first time.

Jaime smirked, "Burn it down," he commanded.

Jaime arched an eyebrow in curiosity when the Cairhien woman began to laugh. He personally didn't think that the situation was all that funny, and while people sometimes said that he possessed only dry humour, he really didn't know what she was on about. Perhaps she had gone mad over the years.

"You fool! Fire cannot hurt a dragon, and my daughter carries the pure blood of the Targaryens," she said haughtily.

Jaime sighed, bloody Targaryens. "You're forgetting your own house sign," he informed, "That of an oak tree, and wood burns. Tie her down."

"Even if you burn me, you won't' harm her!" she cried; struggling against the men who held her.

"Well if that's the case then we'll just have to fish her out of the ashes," Jaime noted dryly, "Now will someone get a torch and some rope."

As people hurried to do his bidding, Jaime raised his voice to a shout.

"If you don't wish to see your mother burnt alive young bastard, I suggest you come out of hiding! If you do it nice and quickly, we might spare her life," it was a lie of course, but there was no way that this reclusive girl would know that.

"Don't' listen to him!" Penelope cried.

There were several seconds of silence, broken only by the faint sounds of his men gather things outside. But then he heard a door open behind him, and whirled around, a smirk on his face. The girl who emerged couldn't be older than seventeen, but she held her head high and met him with a strong stare. Her long hair fell in a silver blonde river down her back, and the eyes that stared at him so intently were of the most unusual violet; and they blazed with internal fire. Oh this was a Targaryen alright. Even her slight built came from that ethereal line, although her height was purely her mothers. She was quite beautiful, but rather dishevelled at the moment, hair flying everywhere and clothing crumpled.

"I'm here, don't hurt her," she said; meeting his green gaze with her purple one.

"You really do take after the Targaryens," he noted giving her a thorough look over.

"You can do what you want with me, but leave my mother alone," she said; looking at him in earnest, pleading.

Jaime's brows arched and a laugh escaped him, "That was perhaps not the best phrasing, for I will be sure to take you up on the offer."

The girl blushed as she realised what he was insinuating, "Leave her alone."

Jaime couldn't disobey his orders for the whims of a bastard daughter, so he gave another lie, "I'm sorry, but you just weren't' quick enough," he said; and slit her mother's throat before she could blink.

"NO!" the scream ripped itself from her throat, "You monster! How could you!"

He merely shrugged nonchalantly, "Like I said, you should have been quicker."

The girl didn't appear to even think; she launched herself at him and delivered a punch to his face. It shocked him, he hadn't been expecting an attack, but he regained his wits. And before she could attack again, he had grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and slammed her against the wall. Pinning them above her head, he leaved in close.

"That, was a very stupid thing to do."

"You bastard," she hissed; rather hypocritically he might add.

"On the contrary, you are the only bastard here," he said.

Her only response to this was to spit in his face, really? Had she no manners at all? He wiped it off angrily, cleaning his hand on the front of her dress. That made her squirm a bit.

"Ser, shall we dispose of her?" a soldier asked.

A cruel smirk twisted Jaime's mouth, "No, I think we might take her with us actually. She did offer after all."

"No!" the girl cried; and began struggling against his grip.

It was to no avail, he was far stronger than she. And while still keeping her wrist imprisoned, he dragged her away from the house. He didn't even know exactly why he was doing this, his orders had been to kill everyone, but still he took the girl with him. Robert would certainly love this, it might even be worth it simply to piss the oaf off. She kept on struggling against him though, and while she was not strong enough to break away, it was a damned nuisance.

"You monster! I'll never go with you! I'd rather die!" she yelled.

"Much as I do love a fiery temper, yours is starting to annoy me," he said; and gestured to one of his men.

Before she could snap another remark at him, his soldier struck her on the head with the hilt of his sword. Not enough to do her much damage, but enough to send her to sleep for a long time with an aching head. Jaime pondered possible reasons as he slung her over his horse, none that he liked came to mind, so he simply called in a whim. As he rode off with the girl, he gave one final order.

"Burn the house down."

**/*0*/**

Jaime was just coming back from dinner with his siblings and the King, gods Robert was a nightmare, ass had no idea how to keep a normal tone during conversation. When he entered his tent he found his wife's maids attending her, but he didn't not want them there. He needed to speak with Meidani alone.

"Leave us alone," he commanded them.

Once they had left he walked towards her, and reached out a hand to touch her face. She did nothing in response. He left his hand there, just gently resting against her pale skin, nothing in her violet eyes changed. No fire stirred, no move to get away was made. It was so unlike her, normally he couldn't even reach out.

"Do you remember when you used to flinch away from my touch? When you said there would never be a time that you would not do so?" he inquired.

"What is your point?" she replied; using a deadpan voice.

"My point?" he repeated, "My point little dragon is this; you used to shy away like some skittish filly if I so much as brushed your hand. Now even when I fuck you there is no response. What happened to you little dragon? Can I even call you that anymore?"

"I'd love it if you would stop," she said; she had never liked the nickname, though Jaime would forever think of her as his little dragon.

"You didn't answer my question."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me why," he commanded.

"You are the one who wanted me to stop fighting in the first place," she pointed out.

"But not like this," he whispered

She merely shrugged, "What's the point? My line is dead. My half-siblings from a father that I hate are in exile across the Narrow Sea. And I am married to the man who murdered both my parents. I really have nothing in the world left to be bothered fighting for."

He studied her curiously, "You really believe that don't you?"

"Can you find me a reason not to? What are you complaining about anyway? Isn't this the way you wanted me? No fight left, just going along with life because I don't have the strength to do anything else."

"When I said I didn't want you to fight me anymore, this was not what I meant as the alternative," he argued.

"Well what did you mean then? Do you even know?"

"You know, if you didn't sound so detached, this would be the closest we've ever come to one of our old fights since we got married," Jaime noted; wishing that it wasn't true, and that he had noticed sooner.

"You sound almost as if you miss it."

"Ah ha, did I detect slight sarcasm there? And who knows, maybe I do. Come to bed Meidani, I won't touch you tonight," he meant what he said; he would leave his wife alone until she returned to normal.

He pulled of his shirt and got into the bed, but she still eyed him wearily. She clearly did not trust his word one little bit, but then again, she never had. But she got in anyway, and curled up into her tight ball of defence, he was used to that though. Jaime kept his promise though, and turned to face the opposite direction from her. He wished that he could reach out and put his arms around her, he wished that he could hold her close. But he wanted to hold his little dragon, not the empty shell that she had become. She was right in asking what he really wanted. At first he _had_ wanted her to stop fighting him, but that did not mean that he had wanted her fire to die. He had not wanted her to turn into this; he had just wanted her to accept him. Jaime did not even know what he wanted anymore, his life had been in such confusions since he had decided not to kill her. And in even more since he had decided to marry her. He still did not know why he had chosen to do those things, and he still did not know why he was so torn about them now. He wanted her fire back though. He wanted the heated arguments and the leaping violet blaze, he wanted the girl who had challenged him to fiercely when she had nothing with which to carry out her challenges. He wanted his little dragon, and he didn't know if she would ever come back.

**Right, next chapter is also Jaime's POV. Hope that you guys liked it, sorry if it was not so nice to re-read stuff that you already had, but I just wanted to see what Jaime was thinking.  
>I'll try to update again soon!<strong>


	33. Cut The Ties

**Thanks for the reviews: saverina, Dark Alana,  
>The Poll and Awards still need vote people! It doesn't take too much :D<br>**

Chapter 33: Cut The Ties

The night that he had just experienced, was probably the best in Jaime Lannister's life. Over her pregnancy his little dragon's fire had returned, and their relationship went back to arguments. But things had changed for him, no longer did he argue out of annoyance, but because he actually had fun teasing her. No longer did he simply do things for her because it was a husband's duty, he actually wanted to please his wife. He didn't know when this caring had began, perhaps around the time that he realised that he never wanted her to lose her fire, but he was unable to keep his thoughts in a straight line when he was around her. She was like a fragile light in his life, looking through to dark to try and find where he had hidden his true self all those years ago.

It was such a strange thing. He had only chosen to marry her because he didn't want Robert to kill her, and hadn't been able to think up a better excuse in the short space of time. But now he was unimaginably glad that he had. Even while he knew she still hated him, he had started to love her. When they had lost their baby, it had been one of the more horrible experiences in Jaime's life. He didn't think that anything could ever hurt so much, as if a part of him was missing, and it lay in ashes in a small wooden box. And he had wanted to cry, he had wanted to feel sad, but he just hadn't been able to. Years of practice at holding in what he felt turned against him, and he could do nothing. Meidani was not like that though, she was able to cry and week and sob and rage, and that was how he let himself out. By holding her close and giving her comfort, that is how he managed. That was his release, she was what got him through.

And yesterday… he really had simply forgotten that she told him. He remembered after she said it, but there was no way that he was going to admit that to her in the middle of an argument. But he had been so worried, no that wasn't enough, he had been scared. He didn't know what had happened to her, he didn't know where she had gone, his mind had jumped to wild conclusions. It may have been a bit of an overreaction on his part, but again, he would never admit that to anyone. When she had ridden back into the courtyard, and he had seen that she was alright, pure relief had taken a hold of him. But then she remained so above noticing it, that he may have gotten angry. Their subsequent fight had been heated, and he could not deny the truth in her words. He knew it in his heart; he was not a good man, but he tried when he could. And to have all of that flung in his face, she had not even noticed his care for her as genuine. But he could not contest how nice things had turned out, after all this time, after all that they had gone through; perhaps things might end happily.

The sound of the King's hunt leaving at dawn had woken him from blissful sleep, but he found that being awake was just as pleasant. Having his little dragon sleeping in his arms; he gently smoothed the hair back from her face, she looked so peaceful as she was now. He did not want to wake her, so he did not move, and was content to just simply gaze at her. But when her eyelids started to flutter, he closed his own eyes and feigned sleep, wondering what she would do. A hand gently touched his cheek, softly as if she did not want to awaken him, and he fought hard to keep the smile off his face.

"If I keep my eyes shut and pretend that I'm asleep, will you keep doing that?" he asked.

"Hmm, depends on the incentive," she bribed; he could hear the smile in her voice.

Without opening his eyes, he pulled her high up his chest, and gave her a soft kiss.

"Incentive enough?" he inquired.

She smiled against his lips, "Hmm, not quite."

He kissed her again, a little stronger this time, and flipped onto his back so that she was sprawled across his chest. Once he was done, his green eyes opened and he gave her a lazy smile.

"What happened to pretending that you're asleep?" she teased.

"I changed my plan when I saw that being awake held much nicer activities in store," he replied.

"Oh does it now? Such as?"

"Oh you are just asking for it now."

"Maybe I am."

For the next few minutes Jaime was rather preoccupied with kissing his beautiful wife. It felt just so right to have her willingly in his arms and kissing him back. He never wanted to let her go again, but there was something that he had to take care of. Once this was done he could fully move forward, and he could finally be all that he was for her. Reluctantly he withdrew his lips, wishing that he could keep them upon hers for longer.

"As much as I would love to just stay like this all day little dragon, duty calls. But feel free to not wake up so soon tomorrow, I was quite enjoying watching you sleep."

She laughed, "You do realise how creepy that sounds right?"

"Well I am a handsome seducer," he said; giving her a mockingly menacing smile and quirking his brows suggestively.

"Is that so? How many women do you seduce then?" she inquired.

"Not all that many actually, only the incandescently beautiful ones," he replied; playing her little game.

"And how many of them do you know?"

"Just one."

"And what is this girl like?"

He smiled and placed a hand against her cheek, just as she had done with him earlier. And told her the truth, "She is the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. She is also remarkably witty, and seems to enjoy making fun of me whenever she can. She is so full of fire that sometimes I fear that I might get burnt if I simply touch her. But I would never have her any other way."

"You sound quite besotted Lannister, I didn't think that you had it in you," she remarked; teasingly, but she was grinning.

"Well I like to do the unexpected, give people a surprise."

"How long have you been awake exactly?" she asked.

"Ever since the noise of people going off on the hunt began. Thank the gods Robert didn't make me go," he replied; rolling his eyes..

"I'm glad he didn't as well, perhaps then I wouldn't have had such a nice wake up."

"Hmm, I'll try to make sure that they're all this nice from now on."

Jaime suddenly looked at her with new eyes, he had just come to an astounding realisation. In all the time that he had known Meidani, they had never really talked about themselves. He found that he knew nothing about her, and it shocked him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just noticed something. We've been married for several months now, a little over half a year in fact, but I know hardly anything about you. Well, about things that you like, what you used to do. That sort of knowledge."

"Well, my favourite colour is green. Like forest green in the middle of summer, I suppose that come from growing up in a house surrounded by trees. When I was little I used to swim in the pool near my house, I liked to see how long I could hold my breath. I used to climb trees whenever I could, it gave my mother fits, she thought that I would fall and break my neck one day. As I grew older my mother started getting me to learn all about the history of Westeros and the Houses. I never thought that it would be useful considering that we lived such a secluded life. My earliest memory is of my mother holding me and crying, I never knew why, but that is the first thing that I remember." Meidani looked up at him, "Your turn."

"I never gave much thought to a favourite colour, but recently I think that it has become a soft violet shade of purple. For absolutely no reason whatsoever." He grinned at her, and Meidani rolled her eyes, the exact shade the he had described, "When I was young I loved to dive of the cliffs at Casterly Rock. It gave my sister fits, she was certain that I would be dashed against the rocks at the bottom, or be crushed in the water from the hundred foot drop. That never stopped me though, there was no danger. Until she told my father… that was one of the most terrifying moments of my childhood. I started learning about all the things a young lord would when I was just a small boy. I hardly remember having a proper childhood that I did not have to run away in secret to find. I suppose that's just how it is with my family though. My first memory? Well, I have vague memories of being held in my mother's arms, but they aren't clear. I do remember her death though, she died giving birth to my brother Tyrion. After it happened, everyone had rushed over to her, my father and sister included, but the baby was left alone. I looked in on my little brother, and didn't know what people meant when they said he was a disfigured child. I just saw a brother, a little brother who had the hate of the world on his shoulders."

"That's why you're so nice to him, I did wonder when that started," Meidani mused.

"Well you could always have asked," Jaime pointed out.

"True, but that was when I hated your guts."

He smiled, "As opposed to now when you…?"

"When I feel that things are different," she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss, "Come on, you have to get up now."

"You aren't exactly giving me many reasons to," Jaime said, holding her close, "I like staying here just fine."

"You know that it was you who said that duty called right? And you call me a hypocrite! But at any rate, I should probably remove any distractions then." She slipped out of his grasp and crossed the room to get dressed.

While she was gone Jaime pulled on his own clothes, and contemplated what he was going to do. He desperately needed to sort this out, but he wondered on how he should go about it. He did not want Meidani to suffer for what he was about to do, but he could see no other alternative to just going at the situation head on. If he didn't, then he could get tangled up in a big mess and have his head on a pike. Meidani returned from changing, and gave him a serious look.

"I'll go out for a walk today," she said, "I'm telling you now and that means that I don't have to move the carving, so don't you dare forget, I don't want a repeat of what happened yesterday. That was just chaos, you overreacted so much."

"Oh I don't know about not wanting a repeat. As I recall, it ended rather nicely," he purred seductively; drawing her into his arms. He managed to get in a quick kiss before she wriggled free again.

"Just don't forget alright? It's an annoyance to the people of Winterfell having their houses searched just because some husband has an overreaction and thinks that his wife has been kidnapped. Despite her telling him of her plans, and other people verifying her location," she chided.

"Alright, I won't forget," he promised, "but if you go out riding, move it. It's just because I just care."

"I know," she reached up to give him a kiss, "I will."

He wrapped an arm around her and the kiss ended up taking quite some time, and even once it was done Jaime wished that it had taken longer.

"Have a good day," he said; once they had both pulled away.

"You too," she replied; a goofy smile on her face, "I'll see you later."

"You won't be able to get rid of me," he assured.

They exited the room and then parted ways, he told her that he needed to discuss things with Tyrion, but really he needed to see his other sibling. Cersei was just walking out of the great hall when he found her, and she gave him a smile.

"Good morning brother, my husband will be out all day," she said; green eyes glinting with promise.

When once that prospect would have great excited Jaime, it now just filled him with nothing.

"I must speak with you sister, there is an unused tower that I know of, follow me," he said; knowing that she would think that he meant it as a place for them to fuck, but really he wanted no one to overhear them.

He lead the way, and closed the door behind him. As soon as this was done Cersei flung herself at him and brought his face down to hers for a passionate kiss. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her away, she looked at him with shock.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

"We can't do this anymore," he replied, "_I_ can't do this anymore."

"And why ever not?" she purred; running her hands seductively up his chest.

Once more, where he would once have felt lust nothing filled him. He took her hands in his and removed them from his chest.

"Cersei, this must stop," he insisted.

She arched one fine golden brow, "This would have anything to do with that Targaryen bastard wife of yours now would it?"

"My reasons are my own."

She threw her hands up in the air, "Me having a husband never stopped you, what caused you to change like this?"

"Look Cersei, you are my sister, and I do love you," he said, "But this must end, it should never have started."

"If I recall correctly it was _you_ who started it," she pointed out.

"We all make mistakes, this is one of mine."

She looked aghast, "A _mistake_? If that how you see us?"

Jaime shrugged, "Times change, people change, and feelings change. This could never have lasted at any rate."

"Oh my sweet brother," she stalked towards him, "I beg to differ."

She reached up and tangled her hands in his hair, forcing him to put his lips to hers. Jaime tried to get her off him, but she did not relinquish her hold. Then Jaime looked over her head, and saw someone looking through the window. He tore his sister away, wincing as it pulled his own hair, and was by the window in two quick strides. The boy tried to scramble away, and he nearly fell, but Jaime caught a hold of him. He pulled him up and rested him on the sill, it was Bran Stark, one of Eddard's brood. The boy gazed at him with fear, and Jaime let go of the hold he had on the boy's shirt. He had seen them though, and he knew that the boy was close to Meidani. He would tell her of what he saw, and then Jaime would lose her forever. He loved her too much for that.

"How old are you boy?" he asked.

"Ten," Bran replied.

Jaime smiled sadly, "The things I do for love."

Then he gave the boy a push out of the window, and did not look to see him hit the ground.

**Right, I lied, my brain betrayed me. There are three chapters left after this one, hope that you all enjoy them!**


	34. In Absence

**Thanks for reviewing: Dark Alana, Garota Annima, chescake, saverina, ShineInTheStorm,  
>Haha, so many questions saverina :P He meant for his wife, there may be a sequel, and I have many more GoT ideas planned. Check out my page and scroll through all my fic idea, they're at the bottom. Also place a vote for the next one you want me to start in the poll on my page :D<br>**

Chapter 34: In Absence

Jaime had argued long and hard with his sister once he had dealt with the Stark boy, but she refused to believe him when he said they were through. She kept throwing herself at him, and he had to keep fighting her off. It was a tedious task, and he eventually just got sick of her and stormed out. He hoped to find Meidani in their room, but there was no sign. He noticed that the carving had been moved, she must have come back and decided to go on a ride. No matter, just so long as he could find a way to keep away from his sister. He decided to vent some of his frustration by dong some training, so he grabbed his sword and headed to the practice area. It was largely deserted though, and Jaime found only a few men and Rodrick Cassel, Stark's master-at-arms. He suspected the reason for the lack of normally unstoppable Stark boys, but had to feign innocence.

"Cassel, where is everyone?" he asked.

The man gave him a cold stare, there was no love lost between the Lannisters and the Starks.

"Young Bran took a fall from one of the towers Ser Jaime, much of the household is wishing him well of praying to the gods," he replied.

"He fell?" Jaime repeated, "but I heard the boy was a master at climbing, never once took a tumble."

"It is a mystery to us all."

Jaime picked up on the vibe that no one was up for a spar, so he took his leave. It would probably be good for him to pay his respects to the Starks, courtesy demanded it. Jaime found himself dreading Meidani's return, she would be upset to hear the news. She had grown rather fond of the Stark children, but so long as she never found out what had happened, sadness would be all that she felt. When he made it to the room where the boy was being treated, it was full of Starks, there were so bloody many of them! But Jaime picked out the odd face that wasn't a Stark, the Greyjoy boy, Maester Luwin, Jorry Cassel, and some others. The boy looked like he was scarcely breathing, and his legs were twisted at odd angles. Jaime felt a small stab of guilt, he was just a boy. But then he remembered the importance of keeping his secret a secret, and squashed his feelings; as he had done for his whole life long. The everyone looked up when he entered, and he received cold glances from all. The wolves and lions had never really gotten along, and this was certainly not going to help relations between the families. Jaime didn't really care though, the Starks were all locked up in the North, they were no threat to the Lannisters. Hardly anyone was.

"My condolences," he said; giving a bow to Lady Stark, "I am deeply sorry for the pain that this causes you."

"What would you know of it? You don't really understand," Catylen Stark shot back; eyes red rimmed and raw sorrow in her voice.

Jaime smiled indulgently, "I lost my daughter on the Kingsroad, I know."

He left the room after that, not wanted to be surrounded by such sorrow over what he had done. It bought back painful memories, Catylen's sorrow was so like Meidani's had been when they had lost their daughter. Where was her husband? The hunt had been sent for, but so far no one had returned. When he reached his rooms again, he found someone waiting outside. She turned when she heard footsteps, and the expression on her face fell.

"Oh, do you know where Meidani is?" Arya Stark inquired.

"She is out on a ride," he replied.

"Is she? She didn't mention anything to me, do you know when she'll be back?"

"Soon I expect, she'll be upset to hear what happened," he said.

Arya frowned, "She knows what happened, she was with me when Nymeria found Bran. That's why I'm surprised she went out. When she gets back, can you ask her to come and see Bran?"

Jaime struggled to keep the shock from his face, "Certainly."

The little girl walked off, holding her shoulders rigid so that she didn't slump into a sob. Once she was out of sight, Jaime searched and grabbed the first Lannister guard he saw.

"Get a search party out, look for my wife, I fear that she has gone missing."

The man looked doubtful, no doubt remembering yesterday's incident when Jaime had thought Meidani missing. But Jaime grabbed him and hauled him to the side.

"NOW!" he barked.

He had spent the whole evening tense, and by the time the search party had returned, they had found no trace of any trail. And yet Meidani was still gone, that meant that someone must have obscured it. That level of skill was high, and Jaime's suspicions immediately went to Benjen Stark, but he could prove nothing. He highly doubted that his wife had been kidnapped though, there would have been traces left, and she had moved the blasted carving. Damn her, she had used that to gain time. She had run. And she had quite a good lead by now. With her trail masked he could not spare men to look for her without it being noticed. And he couldn't let people know that she was missing, he would have to think of a cover story for that. What would people think otherwise? Jaime Lannister can't hold onto his wife. She had certainly made a right mess of things. But even as he tried to blame her, he knew that it really lay with him, it was just so hard to admit it to himself that he was responsible for driving her away. He didn't know why she had gone, even if she found Bran the boy would not have been conscious after his fall, so why did she go? He had thought that things were starting to go well between them. Perhaps he had been wrong. He had played with a dragon's fire, and now he was starting to get the burns.

**/*0*/**

Jaime had just gotten back to King's Landing the previous, and had never been so happy to see the place. After about a month of captivity Robb Stark had agreed to release him, provided that Jaime gave his oath that he would get Sansa out of the capitol and back to the North. Jaime had agreed, but had warned the boy that it would not be easy, and it would take time. Robb has accepted this, and Jaime had been given his freedom. Joffrey was now King, Lord Stark had been executed, Robb Stark proclaimed a King in the North and word had it that Daenerys Targaryen's husband was no more. Much had changed in the past year, but none of that change had lessened the burning in Jaime's heart. Meidani had started a fire there long ago, and without here beside him it threatened to consume everything that he was. He still had no leads on her location, and her absence was weighing him down. He would not let himself think the worst though, after all, she had run of her own accord.

It felt good to have the uniform of the Kingsguard back on. No matter how repulsive the King he served, he always felt it a great honour to be a member to the guard. And even after Robert's death his merely honorary position still held, and someday he would be lord of Casterly Rock. Making his way down the halls, he was about to meet with the rest of the guard. He worried about that. Cersei had had him named Commander, and then staffed the guard with men without allowing time for Jaime to approve them. He did not feel comfortable with that at all, but while it may be Cersei making the decisions, they carried Joffrey's authority, and he did not have the power to contest that.

He did not see Lord Varys until the Spider stepped out from his shadows, and impressive feat for such a fat man.

"Why Ser Jaime, it is good to have you back in King's Landing," the man said; bowing.

"Lord Varys, what do you want?" Jaime snapped impatiently.

"I merely had some information for you Ser, but if you are busy I am sure that it can wait."

Jaime narrowed his eyes, "What information?"

"Do not worry Ser Jaime, it can be told later," Varys assured.

Jaime's curiosity was now aroused, which had no doubt been the Spider's intention, "Tell me now."

"It merely concerns your wife-"

Varys was cut off when Jaime grabbed his collar in both hands and pinned him against the wall. Danger now lit his green eyes to glowing coals, and his voice was low and menacing.

"It concerns my wife? And why did you think that it could wait?" he hissed.

"You just seemed otherwise worried Ser, I did not want to disturb you," Varys said.

"Well you have disturbed me, so you might as well keep on with it. What is this information and why did you not some to me with it sooner?"

"You only got back yesterday," Varys pointed out.

"And if I recall you mentioned nothing of this when I saw you, also yesterday, how long have you known what you know?"

"Not long I assure you, I would have told you sooner but you were otherwise occupied. In Robb Stark's camp."

"On with it Spider, before I feel the need to force it from you," Jaime threatened.

"No need for that I assure you, I merely heard from some little birds of mine that she is currently in the Free City of Pentos. Rather hard to mistake one like her, such unnatural beauty," Varys mused.

"Do not talk of her like that eunuch," Jaime spat, "How recent and reliable is this knowledge?"

"Very recent, and very reliable," Varys replied.

Jaime took a step back and released the man, "If I find that it isn't, your balls won't be the only part of you that's missing. You understand?"

"Perfectly Ser," Lord Varys replied; bowing once again before he moved off.

Pentos. So that was where she had been hiding, he grinned, he would find her.

**/*0*/**

Within two days Jaime had dealt with most of the matters left to him at King's Landing, and charted a boat for Pentos. He set sail for the continent of Essos with the pull of the next tide, but there was one final thing he must deal with. Since his supremely failed attempt at Winterfell, Jaime had avoided discussing matters with his sister. But the time had come for him to face her again, and this time he would not back away without winning. He would not go and find the wife he loved with all his heart, without first clearing the largest skeleton he had in his closet. He had never thought much of his relationship with Cersei before, to him it had been as normal as any other affair, he had thought that that was what love was. He had truly had no idea. Until Meidani had come into his life he had not known true love, and now that she was out of it he feared that he might never know it again. But he would get her back, and this whole damned mess would be cleared up.

He reached the door to his sister's rooms, and heard the sound of a shrill raised voice through the thick wood. He could not make out the words though, so he opened the door silently, slipping into the room without making the slightest noise. Even if he had he doubted that he would have been heard, Cersei appeared to be in quite a temper.

"What does it take!" she cried, "I do everything, _everything_, in my power and nothing succeeds!"

"Cousin…" Lancel's hesitant voice tried to slip in; there was no way that Cersei would be interrupted now though.

"I thought that perhaps with time things would go back to how they had always been, the bitch has been gone for practically a year for god's sake! But no, as soon as he finds out where she is he goes running after her like some lost puppy. It's sickening. I should have paid Varys more, the Spider was always greedy. A few months of silence and then he spills."

"Why does it matter?" Lancel asked.

"Why does it matter? It matters because he was mine first! That bastard has no right to him!" Cersei screeched, "I even hired that assassin to put an end to her, but somehow that failed. That horse… I hope that it is rotting in the seven hells. Things would have been so much easier if she had died then, but no, she had to go and lose the baby. And all that did was bring them closer."

Her words sunk in, and Jaime realised that she was talking about Meidani. She was raging to Lancel about how Meidani had 'stolen' Jaime from her. She had paid Varys to keep silent about Meidani's whereabouts, she had known this whole time, and so had the Spider. Months she had said, for months they had known where she was, and for months they had kept the knowledge from him. She had been the one to hire the assassin for Meidani. The one who's attempted had not resulted in her death, but in the loss of their child. That had been Cersei. A fury like nothing he had ever felt before rose within him, and he strode over to her bedroom. Leaning casually against the door, he crossed his arms and took in the sight before him. Cersei and Lancel were in bed together, even with them under the covers Jaime could tell that they were naked.

"I do hope that I'm not interrupting," he said smoothly; anger adding steam to his voice.

Lancel jumped and sprang away from Cersei, looking absolutely terrified of his cousin.

"Jaime… I… uh," Lancel stammered.

"Brother," Cersei greeted coolly, "How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough," he replied.

"Well what do you have to say then?" she inquired; meeting his fiery green gaze with her cold one.

He stared at her long and hard before replying, "I have nothing to say to you anymore. I have nothing to do with you anymore. You are no sister of mine."

With that parting remark Jaime turned on his heel and strode out. He had meant it, he and Cersei were forever done. He could not sever his blood tie to her, but he could damn well sever everything else. He felt liberated now, as if a long present shackle had just been removed from his chest, and he could breathe properly at last. Now he just had to find Meidani, and beg her to come home with him.

**Eek! Two chapters left :O I'll try to do an update tomorrow, and will probably manage it, but if I don't I'm sorry!**

**I just a Japanese exam in the morning, and a physics one in the afternoon. I will be lucky to live until evening X/ But I will so that I can finish :D**


	35. The Final Chance

**Thanks for the reviews: Anissa, Oberon Sexton, Dark Alana, Garota Annima, chescake,  
>And big thank you to Dark Alana for helping with this chapter :D<strong>

Chapter 35: The Final Chance

After their strange reunion, Meidani had avoided Jaime like the plague. The only time that she had contacted him was through Jarred, and that was to say that she would be travelling in two days time with Captain Eathen, Jaime could come or not as he pleased. There was no way that he was not going to travel with her, so of course he agreed to wait. He would have much preferred her to not leave his sight, but she had apparently made connections during her time in Pentos. Whenever he tried to find her he was simply unable to, no matter how he searched. The household was clearly on her side, for they never aided him, and Illyrio was even sure to accommodate him on the other side of his condo to Meidani.

It was unimaginably frustrating! He had come all this way, and now he could not even talk to her! Sure, perhaps he had been a little… accusatory during their first encounter, but he had just been so relieved to see her. And then she had brought up Bran and she seemed to think that he and Cersei had actuating been going at it together in the tower, rather than Jaime trying to break things off with her. And now he could not get close enough to her to tell her that, all he wanted was to be able to tell her the truth, but she refused to hear him out. He didn't want to send it in a message, because he wanted to do it in person, but it was taking so bloody long! He had not been able to see his son either. When he had first seen him, he had been too busy arguing with Meidani, and had then been ushered out of the room. He had not yet been able to hold his son in his arms, his little boy, who had the same eyes as him.

On the day that they left, he thought that he might have his chance. But by the time he was summoned to go, he found that Meidani had timed things so that she left before him. Cunning little dragon that she was. And when he reached the boat, she had already been settled into her cabin. Considering that the captain was also a friend of hers, it didn't get any easier to see her. She remained within her cabin seemingly all of the time, and Eathen provided a guard for her, with specific instructions to let anyone but Jaime in. Gods the woman had thought of everything! And so he had to wait patiently, something that he found he was not very good at, and await her presence.

**/*0*/**

Things weren't exactly any easier for Meidani, ever since she had botched her initial reaction to seeing Jaime, she had done her uttermost to never see him again. It had failed miserably, while he never saw her, she often observed him from secret places within the condo that he did not know about. He had changed, she saw that in the way he now carried himself. Before it had simply been arrogance, but now there seemed to be something else also holding him up, like honour almost. And his eyes… she had seen into them when he had first arrived, it was so good to be able to see that green in his face, the same green as their son's. But something within his eyes was different, he had been changed by whatever he had gone through during the past year, and Meidani wondered if he was still the same man that she had run away from.

Illyrio had been a great help to her, agreeing to place Jaime on the other side of his condo from her, and keep a watch on him so that Meidani could know where to be and where not to be. He never asked her reasons for avoiding Jaime, and for that Meidani was grateful. The Magister may have only aided her for the chance that in the future, when Jaiden was older, he might be rewarded for aiding Meidani. But she found that some of his kindnesses seemed to be genuine, at any rate she was more grateful for his help now than she ever had been before.

She was glad that she had already made prior arrangements to sail with Eathen in two days, and hoped that Jaime had also had another ship planned for himself. Alas, even if he had plans they were cancelled, and Eathen received another passenger on his voyage across the Narrow Sea. It was good to see the captain again, they had met several times over the past year, whenever he had been in Pentos really, and he always brought interesting news. Never of the Seven Kingdoms though, he knew that Meidani didn't want to hear about anything to do with that, so he kept his silence on the matter. On the day before they departed, Meidani received a visit from Jarred.

"Little lady," he greeted.

"Jarred, it's good to see you, sorry I've been rather hard to find," she said.

"No problem," he assured, "Your reasons are fine."

"What is it that you wanted to speak about?"she inquired.

"Umm," he looked a tad awkward, "It is about your journey back to Westeros, may I be able to accompany you?"

Meidani arched her eyebrows, "Was that ever a question? I always assumed that you would be joining us, considering that you and Reana are practically engaged."  
>"That's the other part little lady, I was going to ask for your permission to marry her."<p>

Meidani grinned widely, "Consider it gladly given. But should the permission not come from the father?"

A dark cloud passed over Jarred's face, "For certain reasons that is something that I am unable to do."

Meidani sensed a covered issue and left it as such, "I will not pry. And I am happy for you both."

"There was one other thing," he called when she turned to leave, "My place in Westeros is a bit compromised at the moment, I fled to support the Targaryens. Ser Jaime said that he would try to get me a royal pardon, but until such time he would keep me safe so long as I agreed to become your personal bodyguard."

Meidani winced upon hearing Jaime's name, but other than that she was happy with the news.

"So nothing changes," she said.

He smiled, "Nothing changes."

"Well off with you then," she gave him a good natured shove, "Go and propose to your lady."

"Thank you little lady," he said; bowing, and then running off, presumably in the direction that Reana was.

Once Jarred was gone, she continued on her walk, she had to say her farewells to the Magister.

"Meidani my dear," he called; standing up when she entered the room, "I will be sorry to see you go tomorrow."

"Actually Magister, I leave tonight, I will spend the night on Eathen's boat and depart in the morning," she said.

"Ahh," he knew why she was doing so, "It had been a great pleasure to have you hear."

"It has been a pleasure to stay here," she assured, "Thank you for all that you have done for me Magister, I will not forget it."

"It was no trouble my dear, all the best for the ties ahead," he gave her a warm embrace.

"Farewell Illyrio," she said.

"Until we next meet," he replied.

She, Jarred and Reana crept out of the condo that night. Illyrio's servants would carry their belonging tomorrow, but they would leave first. Meidani carried Jaiden in her arms, and the baby was gurgling happily, he loved night time walks. Captain Eathen greeted them warmly when they reached the boat, and Meidani was glad to see him again.

"Little lady," he gave her a hug, "So this must be the Jaiden that you talk about endlessly, he is a fine boy."

Meidani smiled, "Thank you Eathen, for giving us shelter again."

He waved her down, "Please little lady, it's the least I can do. If you like we can set sail now and leave this husband of yours on Pentos."

The thought was tempting, but Meidani had to turn it down.

"Are you okay with the arrangements?" she inquired.

"They are no trouble at all," he assured, "I will have one of my men outside your door at all times so that your husband doesn't see you."

"Thank you," she said.

"Are you sure about this? It is a long journey without getting some fresh air," he warned.

"I will manage," she said, "Don't worry about me."

"If you say so, come then, at least spend your last night under the stars," he gestured to sleeping mats on the deck.

Meidani had no problems with this, she rather liked sleeping outdoors, and Jaiden didn't seem to mind much either. He kept on trying to roll out of her arms like he wanted to explore the ship, so she had to keep a good hold on him. He settled down eventually, and fell asleep against her breast, she smiled down at her baby. Such a big destiny ahead of him, but for now he was just her little boy; her darling baby.

The boat ride did indeed seem to be _much_ longer due to her reclusive cabin mode, but she would not venture outside. It was incredibly hot within the cabin as well, so she took to wearing the floating, sheer, gowns of the Free Cities. She found that she spent rather a lot of her time simply dozing on the bed, finding it easier to be active up night, when the heat was not so bad. On one such day, she was resting on the bed, Jaiden curled up asleep in her arms, when she heard the door open. She cracked one violet eye, just so that she could see who it was, and found Jaime standing in her room. Oh crap, what should she do? If she 'woke up' and shouted him out, he would never leave, so she continued with the pretence of sleep, hoping that he would just leave. The man never did what she wanted him to though, and he walked over to where she lay.

He gently lifted Jaiden from her arms and held her in his own, his strong hands touching his little boy's face as gently as butterfly wings. He gazed down at his son with an expression of pure love and devotion, and it was then that Meidani realised that he had not seen Jaiden since their first encounter, nor had he ever held him. Looking at him now, rocking Jaiden in his arms, Meidani found it hard not to open her eyes properly to get a better look. He pressed a kiss to his sleeping son's forehead, and placed him softly in his little cradle. When he turned back to Meidani, she quickly shut her eye again, keeping her breathing deep and even. His hand ran up the skin of her thigh, where her dress had ridden up to reveal it, and it took every shred of Meidani's willpower not to shiver at his slow touch. She expected him to just keep on going, but his hand moved away, and she felt him slip the fine fabric of her gown back over her leg. How odd, he certainly had changed over the past year.

She felt the bed give as someone lay down next to her, and Jaime drew her into his arms, resting her head against his chest. He did so carefully, like he didn't want to wake her, and began stroking her hair. She found herself oddly relaxed in his arms, and cursed her weakness.

"It was me who pushed Bran out of the window," he admitted; and Meidani worried that he knew she was awake, "I am so sorry, I didn't want to do it, but I just panicked and it was the first things that came to mind. I did not want him to tell you what he saw, I worried that if you found out you would never be the way you had only just started to be again. I was so stupid. But please, I swear to you that I was not doing anything with Cersei. She and I had something in the past, but all I called her to the tower for was to break it off. I wanted nothing more to do with it, but she wouldn't listen to me. And then… you left. I had no idea why, but now I can understand. Oh how you must hate me once again, after all that I tried to become to make you love me, I ruined it all. But I swear on the seven that whatever I had with Cersei is over and done with, she is no family of mine after what she has done. She knew all along where you were, and she never told me, she was the one who tried to kill you on the Kingsroad. And all this I never knew until I left. I have never loved anyone as much as I truly love you little dragon, but you would never believe me if I told you. I love you so much that it hurts, as if you stole my heart and left a burning flame in its place. Even if you never see it, I love you."

She realised that he did indeed think her asleep, and was confessing the exact truth to her. He was right, she would have simply not heard him out while awake, she would have automatically put his words down as lies. But now? How could she deny the truth in his words when he told her like this? Even if he did not know that he was telling her. She felt a droplet land on her face, and knew it to be one of Jaime's rare tears. When his hand gently brushed against her cheek to wipe it off, she repeated the words he had said so long ago.

"If I keep my eyes shut, and pretend that I'm asleep, will you keep doing that?"

He gasped and she opened up her eyes.

"You were awake the whole time?" he inquired.

"I was," she admitted.

"Please little dragon, please believe my words are true," he begged, "I have done such wrong in my life, but nothing so bad as what I did to lose you. I am so unimaginably sorry, I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, being what I am. But-"

She placed a finger over his lips to silence him, "I believe you Jaime. And damn me to the hells for it, but I still love you. No matter what you do, I will still love you. But this is it, no more chances after this. If you ruin this again, no matter how I feel for you, there will be no returning to how things used to be."

"I wouldn't lose you again, I would sabotage the best thing in my life," he swore.

"Then please just stop talking and kiss me."

Jaime was more than happy to comply with her wishes, and they were soon nothing more than one person. Wrapped tightly around each other, their kiss just kept on getting deeper and deeper. It wasn't long before the sheer gown that Meidani wore was on the floor, soon to be joined by Jaime's shirt and trousers. Their kisses were filled with passion, and loss, and forgiveness. Forcing everything that they had kept locked inside for a year into a single kiss, making the other person aware of just how much it meant to have them back again. Jaime drew back slightly from her, out of breath from the force of the kiss and from the arousal that he felt.

"Do you think that Jaiden wants a sibling?" he asked suggestively.

"Even if he doesn't, he may just have to make do," she said; and pulled him back to her.

This was not like the last time they made love together. That had been more of a surrender on her part, a final acknowledgement that she did truly love and want him. This was them playing on equal ground now, they had both been denied for so long, and both of them were filled with long dormant passion. He was hot and fiery, it was like nothing she had or ever would experience again. It was not love making.

It was simply love.

**:') Happy tears, very happy tears were shed while writing this.  
><strong>


	36. Epilogue

**Thanks for the reviews: Dark Alana, , saverina, chescake, Friggatriskaidekaphobia, idratherbeinbritain, Garota Annima,  
>More questions saverina :P I like physics well enough, but only when I understand it. So I don't like it all that often :P I do take Japanese, can't say I'm fluent, but I'm good.<br>Here is the final chapter, it's a bit short cause it's really just a roundup of events.  
>So sad to see this story end ='(<br>Hope that you all enjoy it!  
><strong>

Chapter 36: Epilogue

It had been eleven years since Jaime Lannister had walked into her life. It had been eleven years since he had taken her away from all that she had known, and forced her into a new life. It had been eleven years since she had realised that she loved him with all her heart, and would never love another. She had come to accept this. He had done things in his life that she knew were horrible, he had done things to her that were unspeakable, and yet he was not the same man that he had been eleven years ago. Eight years ago his father had died, killed in battle against Robb Stark, she Jaime had become Lord of Casterly Rock. He resigned from even his honorary position in the Kingsguard and spent most of his time in Lannisport with his family.

Joffrey Baratheon had reigned as King of the Seven Kingdoms for only three years, before falling victim to poisoning. The list of people who would love to kill Joffrey had simply been too long for good accusations to be drawn from it. Tommen had taken the throne then, and had turned out to be a good King. Not that he did much ruling at first, having only ascended at the age of eleven, but now that he was nineteen, people could see that he was a good King. Cersei tried to rule from behind him, but his uncle Tyrion was his Hand, and he kept her at bay.

Upon returning to Westeros, Jarred and Reana had finally gotten engaged and married. Now they had a little girl of their own, named Kaela. Meidani heard from Penelope sometimes, she was loving life with the Dothraki, and she and Rakharo had been married for a few years themselves now.

The last eleven years had been the most interesting of her life, and would continue to be so. The first couple had been… the worst probably. But she had to admit that it got remarkably better after that. She didn't know if it had been that first night that they had re-consummated their love, or one of the many nights following, but Jaiden had indeed gotten a sibling. Two of them in fact, Tylan and Phaedra had been born nine months after her return to Westeros. The twins were opposites of each other, was just like his father, with golden blonde hair and Lannister eyes. But Phaedra had inherited Meidani's violet eyes and the chestnut hair of the Cairhiens. Her children seemed to grow up so fast, he felt like only yesterday that she held each of them in her arms for the first time. But now Jaiden was ten years old, while Tylan and Phaedra were both just about to turn nine. She had not told Jaime of the Dothraki prophecy of Jaiden, he did not need to know, and she felt that to tell him might make him raise Jaiden differently.

Jaime was a wonderful father to them, always happy to make time to spend with them over matters of state. He picked them up when they fell and he watched them like a hawk whenever he was around them, making sure that they were always safe. He mentored all three of them on how to act and how to simply just be themselves, he cautioned them against being the way that he had been when Meidani had first met him, saying that it was not something that they ever wanted to become. Jaiden was his heir, Tylan his image, and Phaedra his little daughter; but they each held their own special place in his heart. A place that could never be taken away by anything else. Meidani would not have thought the old Jaime could be capable of the things that the Jaime of today did, and she was so glad to have seen him grow into himself.

He was currently with his children, jumping off the cliffs near Casterly Rock, just as he did himself when he was a child. Meidani felt her heart plunge whenever she saw any of them go over, but she knew that they would be safe. It was merely a mother's worry. Every time they came running back to the top of the cliff, eager for another turn, laughing and pushing ahead of each other. Meidani stood nearby, watching her family play, and smiling. Jaime flicked his wet golden locks from his eyes, and came to stand by her, as they watched Jaiden dive after his siblings.

"They grow so fast," Meidani noted; an edge of sadness to her voice.

"They do," Jaime agreed, "I wish that sometimes I could just freeze moments like this."

"I know what you mean."

Meidani walked over to the edge of the cliff and peered down, she could see the heads of her children, with their different colours of hair. Their laughter rang high above the sound of the waves. She felt Jaime come up beside her, and reach out an arm.  
>"Oh no you don't!" she exclaimed.<p>

He looked offended, "What?"

She gestured to him, "You're soaked, you aren't coming near me."

A glint appeared in his green eyes, and Meidani should have run for it there and then.

"Well I suppose that I'll just have to even things out then," he said.

"What do you-" she was cut off when he picked her up in his strong arms, "No! Jaime! Put me down you idiot!"

Her cries were ignored, and Jaime had no trouble in carrying her to the cliff, and jumping off with her in his arms. The feeling of falling was strange. It was exhilarating, and at the same time dangerous. She looked down to see the blue water rushing up to meet her, and felt the strong rush of wind against her face. But she felt no fear. She was in Jaime's arms, and that was the safest place that she could ever be. It didn't matter what else happened, or what was going on in the background, so long as she had his arms around her she was safe.

They landed in the water with an almighty splash, and the children whooped in delight. Meidani had never gone cliff jumping with them before, and they hooted with laughter at her mildly terrified expression. She got them back though. With a great sweep of her arm she got Tylan full in the face with sea water. And then all out war broke out, every person for themselves. Until Meidani decided to hide behind Jaime, he wasn't the most willing of shields, and she found herself dunked in the water. None of it mattered though, looking around her family, Meidani could do nothing but smile and laugh with them.

This was life. This was love.

**FINISHED !  
>Hope that you all liked this final (and short) chapter.<br>So sad that the story is all done with now ='(**


	37. Thank You

**Thank You**

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been with me throughout this whole story. I have never written anything this long or quickly before, and having you guys along just kept on inspiring me.  
>Thank you for story altering, thank you for favouriting my story, and thank you for all of the amazing reviews that you all gave me. It has been a pleasure to write this Fic, and I hope that you all find my next Game Of Thrones stories enjoyable as well :D<p>

**Sequel:**

I have several other Game Of Thrones fic ideas atm, but I have a sequel sort of planned for this. How many of your would be interested in something like this**:**  
><strong>King Of Kings:<strong> Years have passed in the Seven Kingdoms, and much has changed. When King Tommen is killed in battle, his nearest relative must take the Iron Throne. Jaiden Lannister was always meant to be a King, but it is a heavy burden on him. In order to gain ties in the North, he agrees to a match between his sister Phaedra and Rickon Stark. But despite the years of battle, peace is still a long time coming. He has more wars to fight. Some with his sword, and one with his heart. Love and duty are never easy to manage, and with the incoming threat of the White Walkers, there has never been more turmoil. Thom and Nylina, Shields of the North, struggle to hold back the mass of Others. And Westeros is on the brink of war on all sides. Jaiden must step up to his destiny, and become a true King of Kings.

(It ties in with the plot of some of my other fics, so that's why it won't be written immediately)

**IMPORTANT!  
><strong>Don't forget to place nominations for the Game Of Thrones Christmas Awards! I REALLY need you help, it would be great if you could all take part :D  
>Alternatively if you don't actually have a FF account and are anonymous, just tell me in a review =)<br>Best One-shot:Best Alternate Universe:  
>Best Author:<br>Best Comedy:  
>Best Tragedy:<br>Best Action/Adventure:  
>Best Romance:<br>Best Plot Twist:  
>Best Drama:<br>Best Character Portrayal:  
>Best OC:<br>If you need the link then here it is: .net/topic/100254/52071560/1/

I'll be starting a new story soon, so keep a look out in the fandom for it :D  
>Come To Me was the Poll winner, so that'll be out soon!<p>

**Playlist (In no particular order):**

**Hurricane** – 30 Seconds To Mars  
><strong>Line<strong>: "No matter how many days I die, I will never forget, no matter how many lies I live, I will never regret, there's a fire inside, of this heart, about to explode into flames."

**Will Not Back Down** – Alex Band  
><strong>Line: <strong>"Every step you take I'll be a second behind, every move you make I'll be the thorn in your side. And no you can't fight this now, I will not back down. I'm the sky, the stars, the moon, the setting sun, I'm the feeling inside you when you're coming undone. You know you can't fight this now, I will not back down."

**Never Let You Go** – Alex Band  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I can hear you call my name, Sitting beside me Like a burning flame, My eyes are closed but I feel you breathe, Whispering softly Listen to me. I will never, ever, ever, Let you go, you know"

**Tonight** – Alex Band  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Tonight, I got you where I want you, Closer I can tell you anything"

**You Are All that I Have** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line: <strong>"You're cinematic razor sharp, a welcome arrow through the heart. Under your skin feels like home, Electric shocks on aching bones."

**Ways & Means** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line:<strong> "If I lied you'd know it instantly, so I just had to look away. All the honesty I've ever lost, I can't begin to even curse. I never knew the taste of blood till now, it's clear I never should have known. Breathing fire was never this much fun, so there's a dark side in us all"

**Hands Open** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Why would I sabotage, the best thing that I have. Well, it makes it easier to know, exactly what I want with my... It's not as easy as willing it all to be right, gotta be more than hoping it's right. I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it, collapse into me, tired with joy."

**On/Off** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I didn't mean to hurt you so much, I knew it would hurt you but not like this. We all make a mess from time to time, dear. But it'll take me a lifetime to get this cleared."

**Make This Go On Forever** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line:<strong> "The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could. The first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything. The weight of water the way you told me to look past everything I have ever leaned. The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love."

**Olive Grove Facing The Sea** - Snow Patrol  
><strong>Line:<strong> "So let me go out there, I can breathe fresh air. Stay with you all night, just let me love you. Just for a while, want to. Be with you all night, be with you all night. Until I fall asleep, just let me be here, I won't tell anyone, Don't want to wake up."

**Bullet Proof** – Goo Goo Dolls  
><strong>Line: <strong>"Yeah she wants to tear you down, and she leaves without a sound. It's like fallin' backwards, into no one's arms. You're a bullet through my soul, and I'll never let you know. I won't let you fall until you let it go."

**Careful **– Paramore  
><strong>Line:<strong> "You'd make your way in, I'd resist you just like this. You can't tell me to feel. The truth never set me free, so I did it myself."

**Never Let This Go** – Paramore  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much. And never will I have to answer, again to anyone. Please don't get me wrong, because I'll never let this go. But I can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone. But now I feel like I don't know you."

**Monster** – Paramore  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world from turning into a monster. And eating us alive. Don't you ever wonder, how we survive. Now that you're gone, the world, is ours."

**Decode** – Paramore  
><strong>Line:<strong> "How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind. I can't win your losing fight, all the time."

**Miracle** – Paramore  
><strong>Line:<strong> "That inside we're broken, I try to patch things up again. To count my tears and kill these fears, but have I told you, have I?"

**Over And Over** – Three Days Grace  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Over and over, over and over, I fall for you. Over and over, over and over, I try not to. Over and over, over and over, you make me fall for you. Over and over, over and over, you don't' even try."

**Running Away** – Three Days Grace  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Thinking to myself, that I have done something wrong. That I have crossed the line, have you found out this time. I lead you to believe it's only you and me. Do you see it in my eyes? Have you found out this time? You see right through me, 'Cause you're running away. You keep turning your back on me, I tried so hard but you're running away. Please don't turn your back on me."

**Animal I Have Become** – Three Days Grace  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I can't escape this hell, so many times I've tried, but I'm still caged inside. Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can't control myself. So what if you can see the darkest side of me, no one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it's not the real me."

**Let You Down** – Three Days Grace  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I will let you down, I'll Let you down. Where do you finally trust me, finally believe in me. Trust me, I'll be there when you need me, you'll be safe here. When you finally trust me, finally believe in me."

**Liar, Liar** – A Find Frenzy  
><strong>Line<strong>: "Liar, liar, you're such a great big liar. With the tallest tales that I have ever heard. Fire, fire, you set my soul on fire. Laughing in a corner as it burns."

**Wish You Were Here** – Avril Lavigne  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I can be tough, I can be strong. But with you, it's not like that at all. There's a girl, who gives a hit. Behind this wall, you just walked through it."

**Exception** – Ana Johnsson  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Pride is for the privileged, pride if for a few. Who can't afford a conscience clean, and no morals to. You can't undo what can't be undone. I can't rewind and so I run."

**The King And All Of his Men** – Wolf Gang  
><strong>Line:<strong> "You took her soul, so incomplete, why don't you stop, fighting me. You're in control, so why should you be, fighting me."

**Automatik** – Livvi Franc  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Losing hope you're bound around my heart just like a body rope, too tight to get through. Under my skin, I'm sick of fighting battles I can never win. So let's play again, play again."

**Warning Sign** – Coldplay  
><strong>Line:<strong> "And the truth is, I miss you. Yeah the truth is, I miss you so. And I'm tired, I should not have let you go."

**Amnesia** – Cheryl Cole  
><strong>Line:<strong> "There's no other way around it, we've come too far to turn around yeah. You say we never should have done it, because it complicates things now."

**Parachute** – Cheryl Cole  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night, you are your own worst enemy you'll never win the fight. Just hold onto me, I'll hold onto you. It's you and me up against the world, it's you and me."

**Sparks Fly** – Taylor Swift  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Get me with your green eyes, baby as the lights go down. Give me something that'll haunt me, when you're not around."

**The Other Side Of The Door** – Taylor Swift  
><strong>Line:<strong> "I said leave but all I really want is you, to stand outside my window throwing pebble screaming I'm on love with you. Wait there in the pouring rain, come back for more. And don't' you leave cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door."

**Carnival of Rust** – Poets Of The Fall  
><strong>Line:<strong> "Come feed the rain, cause I'm thirsty for your love, dancing underneath the skies of lust. Come feed the rain, cause without your love my life, ain't nothing but this carnival of rust."

**And many many more songs, but I really don't want to make you all go through that much :P  
>It was just so easy to pick out references :D<br>**

**Again: **A massive thank you to you all!


	38. Author's Note

**Hello all! Well, all who are still checking this.  
>Just a little AN to say that you should all read 'Ice Inside Your Soul' by the wonderful Maddie Rose. It's a great GoT fic and Meidani will be making an appearance with her lovely husband Jaime ;)<br>Also for any who are interested I have another Jaime fic up called 'Diamonds For Tears' and a joint fic with Maddie called 'Now Or Never'**

**Anyway, now that I'm done with self advertising and advertising for a friend, hope that you all liked the fic and that you check out my suggestions!  
>Big thanks to you all for reading it XD<strong>


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